Chapter 32: Chapter 32

: shock comes in threes

******

DECEMBER 2018, LAGOS.

CHRIS.

It isn't true!

The random lie we've been told all our lives that love conquers all, it doesn't.

If it does why couldn't we conquer this? its been 1 month and 2 weeks since we both found out Nina was pregnant.

All my life I have never believed I could love someone like I love my wife and kids.

Yet i cheated!

Is it so weird that I cant recall the entire events of that night with Nina!

I remember going there angry, us talking, then how she kissed me how I was shocked at first then kissed her back, I remembered touching her and how she reciprocated it.

At first it felt foreign but I slowly eased into it.

Also breaking off the kiss and telling her how this was a bad idea!

Then waking up in bed naked, but that is all to it.

My foolish, hurtful and vengeful anger turned into this.

I stood at the balcony door watching her profile from behind, after leaving Lagos two weeks ago by her unsaid wish.

Pamela did not have to say she wanted me gone before I knew it. My answer was there, in every tight lipped response, every meaningless stare, all the night shifts at the hospital, the constant withdrawal, the refusal to have anything to do with me.

So I took a trip to my other offices outside the country.

Temitope's hair was made into cornrows with the tips brushing her middle back. She had on brown shorts that stopped mid thigh with black tank top.

I took in the length of the legs on display and a familiar warmth began to spread slowly in my insides moving downward and pooling blood as it went arousing me!

God! I was so messed up.

How do I get to be turned on now of all times.

The last time we had sex was that night 1month ago; the club night. Getting over how much I ruined things between us was so scary.

I raked my hand into my hair and took in a deep breath. A hug will be nice right now or even a welcome home!

The tense shoulder greeted me letting me know she knew I was around but did not want to turn to acknowledge my presence.

The last two weeks has been hell! Away from my family, trying hard to be a video chat dad and a zero husband.

"Daaadaa!!" My princess squealed running into my arms.

Ella's hair was put into two pony tails and it bounced behind her as she jumped excitedly.

"I missed you princess" I said hugging her tight.

"Daadaa ish cweeam! Daddy princess!" At 3 years old, Ella had a way if wrapping me around her little finger.

Her squeal drew her mothers attention to me and she turned to face me.

Pamela's eyes turned to meet mine. Eyes void of all expression not warmth or coldness.

"We need to talk later!" She voiced out.

Times past all men knows that "we need to talk" means something was about to go down especially if it comes from a woman.

The entire evening was spent playing with the kids, at first Daniel pulled away from me. Almost like he was angry at me but didn't know why.

Children have a sixth sense for insecurities at times, they fidget or even cry.

Temitope and I kept up with the entire routine of being the lovely parents until the kids retired to bed. Then the usual cold war will begin or so I thought it will.

"I am pregnant" her voice cut through my thoughts as I pushed the door knob close upon entering our bedroom.

Silence followed the statement. The initial shock of the statement kept me there at the door.

Pregnant again!

We had issues dealing with the first pregnancy quite alright but this one, this pregnancy!

I have no ideas how to deal with.

So I asked the first random question that popped in my head "are you sure?"

"Yes. I am one month pregnant" Her eyes were still empty as she said it, but there was a confirmation in them to the unspoken question I couldn't voice out;

"If it was that club night?"

My answer was a Yes and it was sitting down right there in those eyes.

The weirdest part was I was strangely happy. Maybe with this child on the way just maybe she wont leave my sorry ass.

"Do you hate me?" I asked sincerely.

"I wish it was that easy, I wish hating you was that easy" as she said this she had a faraway look in her eyes.

"I am not sorry, about this pregnancy Temitope. I know we are at a bad place right now and just maybe this is our hope and chance. You are the better part of me, I have never denied it. Do I sound selfish yes, but do I know how to start life without you and the kids no!.  So I want to fight and maybe this is my fighting chance."

"What about me? What about what I want? What I am feeling does itself matter to you?" She asked shouting.

"Did you even love me? or is it all physical attraction with you?" She added.

"Don't make everything between us about sex Temitope,we both know that wasn't how we started and what we have is way more than that."

Pamela laughed sarcastically then replied "we both know even the sex between us is not good enough to keep you in between the legs of your wife talk more of love"

That was below belt! And it hurts like hell.

I know I deserve this and more but still it hurts when she trivialise all we had all we shared or how far we've come.

Looking up at her and raking my hands through my full hair I dared her with my eyes to look at me and deny she couldn't see it. What we share, the intensity of what we have, how complete we feel together.

She didn't.

I walked closer to where she sat at the vanity table and kisses her forehead.

"I love you and I miss you like hell and  am super grateful for this blessing."

Her silence greeted my declaration and I wasn't expecting anything less.

******

The morning light streaked in from the curtains and the bare space on the bed greeted me. I went to bed late last night deliberately giving her space like she preferred since our marriage became an estranged one.

what happened to all our traditions! The morning prayer, the forehead kiss.

Slowly we keep becoming intimate strangers!

After getting ready for work, I had on a jean and tee all black as the plan was to go with Temi to do a checkup, If she wasn't going to fight me on that.

I am a father with two kids on the way!

The thought made me shiver.

The twins were seated round the breakfast  table dressed although it wasn't a school day.

"Paapi!" Ella greeted.

She couldn't decide whether to call me Paapi or Daada so it was which ever suited the mood.

She was bubbly and lively as always. Running into my arms. I carried her up and ruffled my boys hair who made a face at me for that.

"Good morning" my wife's soft voice hit me.

"Morning Temi." I replied walking over to her and kissing her lightly on the head, sure that the presence of the kids wouldn't make her push me away  as should be her initial reaction.

It was past 9:am in the morning already and the jet lag and time difference was still taking a toll on my body.

This felt nice though sitting with my family.

Daniel was usually quiet, droopy eyes like he was sleepy and no appetite.

The sharp knock on the entrance door pulled me out of my reverie and I moved to open it.

My parents were at the door alongside Nina's mother.

Jesus! The day was about to be wrecked.

"Good morning!" I greeted my dad and made to kiss My mum and Nina's.

My dad answered with a grunt while my mum fawned over me.

They settled in the sitting area and Ella abandoned her food to run to her grandparents while Dan sluggishly followed behind. He fell twice before getting to where my parents sat and kept walking funny.

Pamela's eyes followed his movements and she looked worried.

After the strained pleasantries, we all sat down while the twins played building blocks a bit farther away.

"Ayomide!" My Dad"s voice cut through.

"Sir" My head bowed down in shame.

Its funny right how one action you cant really recall cause so much ripple effect.

"I wanted to come earlier but you were not around. Your secretary informed me of your arrival yesterday.

We have to talk as a family!

How things stand now in your family are not the best. So we have to look for a way forward. As your father I have failed you in multiple ways, but I expected more from you than this.

Although since it has happened we have to begin to make plans for this incoming child.

Ninioluwa is 8 months alone already, what happens after delivery? What plan do you have for her and her unborn child. Especially now that Nina doesn't want to raise the child and wants you and your wife to take it.

What will be you and your wife's choice, we have come to ask." Somberly!

Finally I have become the very thing I never wanted to be just like daddy!

Being the son of a rich man's mistress, suffering abuse at the hands of my father's wife both physical and emotional,if there is something I'll never do is do that to my child.

Allow my child be somewhere I cant guarantee their safety or wellbeing.

"I want my child to live with me!" I answered looking straight at Temi.

She changed position with shoulder tense and barely controlled anger.

"So what happens to the mother, where does she stay? do you plan to keep them both to live with you or what? I personally prefer Nina for you. so I wont mind. Or they could just come and stay with me." My mum offered.

I winced at the steely glint that entered Temi's eyes on hearing mum's statement.

How did my life end up damn complicated!

"mama Ayo! Caution yourself please" Dad said getting the subtle hint in my mum's statement.

In all of this my wife kept quiet and I knew she was a lid about to burst.

"After childbirth maybe Nina could stay with you for a bit and then we could raise the child."

The glass of water in Temi's hand flew hitting the opposite wall "O da bi eni pe ori e ti daru( is like you are mad abi)? So you want to get your side chick pregnant then conveniently decide on your own to make me you and your child's baby mama. What makes you think I want to take care of this child? Is it mine? Why are you making decisions on my behalf. If you are thinking what I think then think again, Because Christopher you will get the shock of your life. Nothing not even this pregnancy will make a difference.

Yes ma! I heard you. You may get your wish after all the wife you wanted.

But don't you dare make this my responsibility. You decided to cheat good for you! I haven't even seen a paternity result till now but it's okay good for you! Congrats papa Pikin.

She should take care of her child herself. So dear husband you better get ready to choose" she shouted.

I knew she was going to blow up but not to this extent. Even my father looked shocked.

"You see! It is that rude ghetto attitude that turned me off about you in the first place. You want to leave? There are doors and windows round you, Nobody is forcing you to stay. Dont you dare speak to my son like that or at least pretend to respect that there are three elders here." Mum replied nailing the coffin.

The blazing look that entered her eyes next and I knew that there was about to be fire on the mountain.

She laughed sarcastically and before she could get a word out dads shrill voice cut in " Its enough! Mama ella I know this is hard but take some time with your husband to discuss this"

"No need I have my decision made right here" she fumed out and walked out.

I followed right on her heels.

"Pamela! Pamela!" I called out after her.

"Pamela kilon sé é( whats wrong with you) at least respect daddy." I pleaded.

"Do you respect me? Hmmn if you respected me we wont be here."

"Please! Okay please! You know how I grew up. I cant willingly do that to my child. I cant!"

"Oh please! If you had zipped it in, in the first place we wont be here"

"But we are here already are we not! I want to go back and change it but I cant,so what do we do? How long are we going to stay here hmmn! Are you ever going to forgive me? Are we ever going to move past this?" I replied shouting equally.

My questions were unanswered as a shrill cry came from inside.

"Chris!!!!!!!!!" My mothers voice rang out in addition.

We both ran in and the picture I saw will forever be burned in my brain.

Dan was having seizures! As each one wracked his body I stood rooted to the ground.

Pamela tried doing something but all of it I couldn't see as my vision blurred.

All I could remember was hitting the pedal and driving to the closest hospital emergency ward.

He was finally settled down and sleeping. MRI images showed that he had increased intra cranial pressure which caused the seizure. The fall he had last pushed one of his cranial bones in which compressed on of his arteries and then increased pressure.

They needed to do a brain surgery and  relieve intra cranial pressure and wanted my consent.

As we waited outside and my son was wheeled into surgery.

Pamela hit the floor hands wrapped around her as the tears flew.

"My baby!!!! My baby!!!! This is all my fault" she cried.

And it broke my heart!

"Stop it Temi please, its not your fault." I gathered her in my arms as she cried.

My heart broke over and over!

Temitope pregnant.

My parent's visit

My son fighting for his life!

My wife was breaking right in front of me.

She was so wrong! This is all my fault. If Nina and I never slept together she would never have left the kids to go open the gate, we would have been more observing as parents.

Today I failed as a father! And the ripple effect of one single act I couldn't remember continued.

*************

December, 2018. France.

No POV

The couple sat in the waiting area of st Louis hospital, France.

Their son was air lifted in an air ambulance last night.

Pamela's hand covered her face as she slouched in her seat. Brain surgery was scary and her boy was just 2 years plus, not even up to 3 year old.

How did she miss the signs as a doctor!

The fall was 2 weeks ago!

What if he was in pain all this while!

As each thought filled her mind, the tears and the helplessness weighed her down more.

The hands that stroke her back was the only source of comfort she held on to. From her peripheral view she glanced at him.

Chris eyes were closed with his head leaning on the head rest. His mouth was drawn into a thin line, but what caught her attention more was the drop of blood that hit the floor from his other hand clenched tightly.

His fingers were pushed in tightly into his palm drawing blood. This was how he tried to put a lid on his emotions on his own end.

Pamela moved closer to him, placing her hand in his and loosening the clenched fist.

Chris opened his eyes in response to her actions and she saw how red rimmed they were.

He was scared also!

"I failed you. I failed him" His usual strong voice was a mere whisper loaded with regret and shame.

"I failed him too. Daniel is not your fault Ayo. What if it was someone else at the door that day? I should also have seen the signs one way or the other. He was moody,eating less, sleeping a lot, restless, constantly tired. I am a doctor for Gods sake, right from conception I keep failing him! Almost loosing the twins now this. I have my share but not you" Tears rolled down Pamela's eyes as she spoke.

Then it dawned on Chris, he has been focused on his own pain. That he forgot hers. How much she was hurting!

Pulling her closer he wrapped his hands around her and buried her face in his chest.

He held her as she cried out her fears while he decided to be strong for her and his kids.

Two hours later, Pamela was sleeping with her head on Chris lap when the surgeons came out.

The way she jumped up when she heard the operation theatre open was almost like she was sitting on hot coals.

"Thankfully this was caught early! The surgery was a success but we'll keep him for recovery"

The sheer joy on the couples face drove them into each others arm.

"can we go in to see him now?" Chris asked.

"Yes he is in the ICU for pediatrics. Follow this nurse"  The lead surgeon replied.

Daniel was hooked to lots of machines with a large bandage dressing wrapped around his head.

He looked so small and fragile that his mom shook with sheer exhaustion, relief and fear mixed into one.

Brain surgeries were risky. Its one thing for the surgery to be successful but  to return to normal complete neurologic functioning was another matter of concern.

Would he walk well? Would he talk well? And so many others.

Chris slipped his hands into hers holding it firmly while rubbing her knuckles gently.

They sat by their sons bedside and in the meantime mutual concern and worry bonded them together.

Pamela smoothed the hair on her sons forehead as her mother in law came in.

"Ill stay with him for the night you both should go and take a nap and come back in the evening" she suggested.

"I want to be here when he opens his eyes. What if he cries for me?" Pamela  asked.

"According to the nurse he is on sedation for the next 4 hours. You could use a shower, food and a quick nap. Also we have to check up on Ella also." Chris added.

Pamela nodded in affirmation. She kissed his head and left with Chris.

*****

The shower head poured jets and jets of water on Pamela as she stood under washing away the grit of the last two days; The visit from her in_law, Daniel's seizure, flying down to France, the surgery.

Steaming cinnamon rolls, pancakes and  croissants smell wafted in the air on a tray which Chris must have ordered.

He sat on a couch at the far end of the hotel room. Why they were in one room now was not any of her concern all she wanted was to crawl into those sheets.

"I am not hungry." Slipping into Yoga pants and a white wool cardigan.

She made to lie on the bed then Chris said "Temi you know you are pregnant.  You need to take care of yourself also, Ill order something else if this is not what suits you" Entreating gently.

""No its fine. She sat and poured freshly squeezed orange juice into a glass sipped and began eating slowly.

Funny how life deals you some cruel hand sometimes that even the finer things of life like good food has no appeal. She chewed slowly almost mechanically.

Chris sat beside her so close almost that their bodies were touching.

He cut the pancakes into thin slices for her.

Her head dropped down to lean on his shoulder and her exhaustion was evident.

Pamela felt drained physically, emotionally and mentally. She kept fighting battles at both ends.

Chris heart fisted in his chest seeing how vulnerable she looked. His head dropped to kiss her lightly on the forehead, then her supple cheeks. The upturn of the soft peach lips was something he couldn't resist then he pecked her lightly on her lips.

Although he initiated the kiss it was Pamela who deepened it tilting her neck to meet her husbands lips full on.

Deep down she knew it was a bad idea, but she missed him.

Oh how she missed him.

Is it so horrible that she was still in love with this man that hurt her so!

The kisses turned feverish and hot quickly,  Hands tugging under each others clothes as lips trailed down each others bodies.

Lips on flesh, hands on skin. It became a battle of who could drive each other more insane, something they were both skilled at.

Exhaustion mildly forgotten, the couples searched for comfort in the sanctity of each other.

The brunch tray lay there forgotten at the table as the couples hit the bed and layers of clothe hit the floor.

Their tangled bodies hit the bed first then the floor then back to the bed.

They were combustible together always have always will be!

The moans intensified as they came down through the other curve; Orgasm.

Their loud pants turned to shallow breaths. As Pamela eyes closed heavily satiated and heavy with sleep she could feel his hands smooth imaginary wrinkles on her forehead and a slight whisper of "I love you".

Not even in a hyper drowsy state did she believe him.

Opening her eyes after being gently shaken awake. Pamela woke up and instantly the fear for her son settled in the pits of her stomach especially after hearing "He is awake"

"Since when? Why did you not wake me sooner? Its almost dusk!" All these questions tumbled out of her mouth. Jumping down from the plush bed and pulling on her discarded clothes that were now gathered together on the arm of the bed side chair.

They just had sex! With their son on the hospital bed.

What kind of parents are they?

The ride down the elevator and to the hospital was done in tense silence.

Until Chris broke it "Are we going to talk about what just happened?" He asked

"What is there to talk about! Our son is on the hospital bed and there we go having sex like all is well and fine" Pamela snapped.

"Would you just stop making it sound like we just committed a felony or a crime! Or like its the first time we did it. Yes Daniel is in the hospital and we will take care of him as parents stop. Like it was not through sex we had them"

"Yea right! Remind me all about sex and how it means more to you than the sanctity of your home"Pamela scoffed out.

Chris breathed in deeply, ignoring the hidden layer of meaning in that statement which was his time with Nina. Instead he replied " What I want to know is what does this mean for us? What does it change" Hope shinning through his honeyed depths.

Pamela looked on at him having no response for him. She couldn't let him down but still  had no response of any kind for him.

On getting to the hospital The couple  raced to to the pediatric surgical unit.

my baby boy was awake! Resonated in Pamela's head

Running to his bedside her hero smiled weakly at her.

"Mama" Daniel called out.

"I am here baby! Are you okay? Where does it hurt? What do you want?" As questions and questions rolled out so did layers and layers of kiss and caress over his soft cheek, forehead, eyes and wherever she could.

It felt good knowing her son was fine, alive and coherent.

"I am a big boy mama" he said raising his nose at her.

"I know my love, mama is so proud of you okay. Promise me next time or whenever it hurts, whatever it is, promise to tell mama or your dad." Tears filling her eyes again.

"Don't cry mama." Daniels button lips quivered as tears filled his eyes too.

Chris sat beside us both, holding Daniels hand and squeezing it lightly.

Chris mom brought Ella in and she ran to the bed jumping on her twin. She was too young to fully understand what was going on all she knew was her twin was safe and awake.

"Ella come down from there"Pamela chided.

Her answering pout came and a sullen look on her face. She settled in her dads arm as we bonded as a family for a little while.

Just like good news, Tragedy also brings people closer. At times like this  we draw strength and mutual comfort.

*******

Lagos, Nigeria.

Chris opened the door to their Lagos apartment, his daughter in his arms as he and his family trooped in. The last two weeks in the hospital has been hard but worthwhile.

Daniel was better, well enough to be discharged. Ella was Ella, the major source of sunshine that kept them all through. Temitope was avoiding and distant, since their little bed tryst in the French hotel. The though of that particular day made his blood boil in remembered desire.

Nina was getting closer to her due date, Temi was also about 6 weeks gone and the pregnancy glow was showing through. The Nina debacle still hung between them like a cloud, and he couldn't wait for this