Chapter 16: Chapter 16

I know that she doesn't like my touch but still I tried to calm her so that she can relax in my presence but that apparently seemed impossible.

She put her head on my shoulder as she continued to weep.

"T-that wasn't m-my dream." She stuttered as she held my shirt. Soaking my shoulder with her tears.

"I should be happy about it but I wasn't." She whispered again.

Being curious I asked, "What was it about?" She shivered when I asked. She doesn't want to tell.

She looked at me hesitantly and I moved my hand from her hairs to her tears as I wiped them. She looked down and said,

"You'll be angry." Her voice sounded scared as usual. Being irritated that she is not speaking about it, I still remained patient and said again,

"Tell me, I won't be angry." She wiped her last tear as she tried to get away from my laps but I held her and didn't let her.

She cringed as I asked sternly, "Who told you to get away?" She looked down and bit her lips as I could feel the fear she had in her heart for me.

"I apologize." She said in a barely audible tone. I pulled her close as she continued to shudder in my embrace.

I held her chin as I stared into those terrified eyes. "Now, Tell me." I ordered her. She sniffed as she produced a vague sound by those vibrating lips.

"you..... went far away.. without any intentions of coming back... and when I heard that... I cried... I sobbed so loudly... I..." She trailed off looking elsewhere.

I felt a sudden knot in my heart but I shrugged this off as a smirk played along my lips and pinned her to the bed.

She gasped in dread by the sudden action, I leaned in close. The sound of her heartbeat was cloaked with the sounds of her quivering form invoking lust in me.

"Don't worry. I am not going anywhere. And if I do..." I said slowly and brushed my lips against hers and she shivered violently filled with disgust for me like always.

"I'll take you with me..." I whispered and kissed her neck.

The feeling of the cold sweat rolling down from her forehead. The throat dried from the fear of being explored, the body trembling in dread of being defiled.

“You were mine.. Always was.” I accidentally said the truth she didn’t know.

“What?” The soul, filled with desperation for the liberation from being more corrupt; I can feel this, causing a commotion in my mind.

Evoking such craving in me that I want to embed deep into my soul and receive a great euphoria from it but I know that I can't do it, her purity won't let me to devour her.

“Meaning we are tied forever now. You better learn to relax in my presence.” I said, shrugging off. I pecked her sweet lips as I pulled away and left her shaky form there and went to the bathroom.

I stood under the shower as the cold droplets of rain drenched me. I closed my eyes as I felt this coldness, it's the same as my heart. I emit deep breaths as I think about her.

“What the hell am I doing? I am sorry, I am so sorry, I failed, Mother.” I whispered, pulling my hair in frustration., pressing my teeth.

“I failed..” She is too frightened in my presence, I want to lower those terrors, not to eradicate them but to lower them so that she can at least relax in my presence.

I won't allow those apprehensions to be obliterated because if that happened, she may fall for me and I know I can't love her back.

‘I will never love her or let her love me. To accomplish that, I'll do whatever I can, even if I have to break her... I am sorry but I have to.’

I will never fall in love. It will be better for us if we abide by the contract, without involving love.

After losing everyone, I don't have enough strength in me to fall in love with anyone again.

Instead of suffering the devastation caused by love, witness the ravage of hate, it'll be less heartbreaking....

I sighed and walked out only in my pants and stood in front of the mirror as I wore my black office shirt to get ready for work.

She went to the bathroom without sparing a glance at me and with a flushed face. “What? You have seen me naked.” I smirked.

She left, even though she had seen me but still felt embarrassed to look at me shirtless.

Her demeanor is truly fascinating and I let myself be gratified by exploring them. Well at least, that's what I ‘can’ do.

I went to the dinning hall and sat in my usual spot. After a while, Sophie also came and greeted me without looking at me.

The food was served as we ate in silence and I liked scanning her when she ate her food. She always eats correctly, this somehow amazed me.

In six months of working at the hotel, she has learned quite a lot. She lifted her gaze and looked at me timidly, I rolled off my eyes and left without saying anything.

"Take Care." I heard her voice and every time she said that, I felt really strange. Even Merlin never greeted me like that.

‘What am I saying? There's no comparison between them.’

To clear some doubts, I went to see Aunt Amelia. I entered as she smiled upon seeing me, you have no idea what hell I have put your daughter through because of my insecurity and I am afraid if she came to know, it wouldn’t be favorable.

"Welcome, Where's Sophie?" She asked.

"I'll take her with me next time." I smiled back. She motioned me to sit as I sat beside her. I looked down and she asked,

"How's your life?"

"It's nothing but a contract for both of us."

"Give yourself some time." She tried to assure me.

"I can't give her love.." I said in shame.

"But she can. She can extricate you from those insecurities." She said rubbing my back.

I smiled and looked at her, "How can you still give her to me, after all this?" I asked.

"’You’ left us with no choice. If you remember.” Her voice sounded angry. I remained silent.

“You gave me no choice but to convince her.” I already told Aunt about my intentions and she was displeased with the idea.

“It was your fault for hiding this from her in the first place.” I shrugged, defending myself.

“The contract is just a show in the first place. You wouldn’t comply with it, would you?” She looked at me expectantly. My heart skipped a beat in dread. I swallowed hard and gave her a hesitant nod.

I am sorry.

“Besides, She was always yours... It was all decided .. She always wanted her to be your bride." Aunt smiled. I leaned on the sofa and closed my eyes. That's right, her.

“I don’t think she will be happy to know I am her knight.” I chuckled dryly, not wanting to think how badly it could break her.

After a brief pause she asked, "Does she know about it?"

"No. This all is just a contract to her." I said without looking at her.

"Good. I don't even want her to know." Aunt exhaled in relief. I looked at her as she put a hand over her chest.

“I think you should tell her. She deserves to know.”

"If she comes to know about it now, she'll wreak havoc. She will beat Roger first." She said as we both laughed a little.

That’s true. She already hates him and now she’ll probably kill him.

"But, I couldn't tell her back then. What am I supposed to say now? You are betrothed to a guy a decade older than you?" She chuckled nervously.

"More like ‘sold’." I corrected as her smile was replaced with a smirk, "More like ‘promised’." She stated as I smirked back.

"To be honest, I am amazed that you fulfilled your promise even after all these years." She said.

"I have to." I said coldly.

"I never want her to be your second option. Even though she should be your first ... and you.." She said sadly. My eyes widened for a second as my heart skipped a beat in slight fear.

"You are not angry at me.. are you, Aunt?" I asked. Please don't be. I don't want you to leave me too.

"I'll do whatever you say. I am sorry for that earlier rudeness of mine. I didn't mean to. I was lost. I..." I said I was anxious.

Looking at my tensed form she formed a smile and cupped my cheeks,

"Oh, my Christian, You are still the same. Don't worry, Everything will be fine." I sighed in relief and leaned back.

After a silence, she looked at me seriously and said, "Reasons don't matter now. She is your wife. Please take care of her. I understand you can't give her love but please don't give her hate too. " She then continued,

"She is fragile, please never break her." I looked at her for a second and closed my eyes again as I felt bad.

I can't guarantee that, to stop her loving me, I have to do it, if I must..

After a while Aunt spoke up again,

"Sophie meant to be in your life. Only she can save you."

I stood up and looked at her,

"Even if she did, then who'll save her?" I was about to leave and I heard her reply, "You."

An involuntary smile formed on my lips as I left. This will never happen, I won't let it. Neither she can save me nor I can.

She'll live with me in those dark clouds of mysteries she was never aware of and will crumble slowly when she comes to know about them.

And me being heartless, I'll indulge each and every moment of it. Because I know,

I will never love anyone.

It's just a game for me to see either she breaks under those mystifying truths about her or I break by those inexplicable feelings she may elicit in me without recognizing them.

Either way, I am looking forward to it..