Chapter 37: Chapter 37

There was dead silence in the car.

Somehow Gino was introverted and I didn't know what else to say after the last hour either, because I was completely absorbed in my thoughts, so that I probably wouldn't have been able to get a clear sentence out of my mouth anyway.

So while the car drove very calmly over the asphalt, I felt the warmth of the leather I was sitting on and held Gino's hand, which was the only thing that kept me reasonably afloat.

The picture of my parents lay very still on my lap, next to the watch, which was the last thing that belonged entirely to me.

When we finally got home, Gino immediately got out and half sat on the hood of his car, lighting a cigarette. I then got out too and stood close to him, causing him to immediately put his arm around my waist while I glanced at the security guards at the front door, who seemed to be enjoying the sun to the fullest.

"Can I have one too?" I asked Gino, not only to smoke but also to say anything at all and break this awkward silence between us.

"I don't want you to smoke, amore," he said in a calm voice without looking at me, but I didn't let that deter me. I reached for his cigarette expertly and reluctantly he let me have it to watch absentmindedly as I took a long drag.

"There's a lot I don't want either, believe me," I replied and took another puff before handing the cigarette back to him, staring into his eyes.

He suddenly smiled and at the same time pushed off the car to stand directly in front of me and look down at me with a grin that gave me that familiar racing heart, although I had no idea what was to come next.

"But you want me, don't you?"

He puffed on his cigarette with relish, exhaled the smoke, and then bit his lip to study me closely.

"Yes," I answered immediately, enjoying the sincere smile that broke out on his lips. Even if Gino rarely smiled or showed any emotions at all, they were more than just beautiful when he allowed them to be.

"And that's all that matters," he whispered, flicking the cigarette away to cup his hands on my cheeks and his lips on mine. The taste of the cigarette spread in my mouth and where I always thought I would never be able to accept it, suddenly I didn't mind him at all. The feeling he evoked in me was stronger, much much stronger, than my aversion to cigarettes.

Full of desire, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down closer to me, gently stroking his hair, which encouraged him to press his body even tighter against mine.

"Gino!", I then unfortunately heard Enzo's loud voice next to us from the front door and sighed in frustration when Gino broke my lips and looked annoyed at his father.

"What?!" he demanded, slightly irritated, which showed me only too well that he would have preferred to continue making out with me. Who would have thought that he too would behave like a teenager in love.

"To my office! Now! And Ludovica," Enzo turned to me. "Dress into something comfortable but elegant. You will accompany me, Dario and Giovanna to a wine festival tonight."

"Forget it!" Gino blurted out and he pulled away from me completely to glare at his father. "She's not going anywhere with that whore!"

"Guarda il tuo tono! (Pay attention to your tone!)", said Enzo and came towards us to give Gino a serious look. "You're acting like an idiot! Have you forgotten who she is and what a burden your brother bears for the good of all of us! It's all just a game to you, isn't it?!"

"I'd rather die than let myself be ruled like you or Dario! Did Giovanna already get your balls as a trophy?!" Gino laughed, but Enzo immediately pulled his arm inside while cursing loudly and left me holding my breath.

Once again great prospects for a relaxing evening.

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to the car and opened the door to remove the watch and my picture from the seat until I subconsciously felt someone standing behind me.

"What do you want?" I spoke irritably, thinking Dario had waited for another convenient moment to throw me into chaos, but when I turned around, I suddenly looked Nicolo straight in the eye, who was both nervous and upset at the same time worked.

"I have a problem," he whispered and I looked around almost paranoid, not realizing why he was speaking so quietly when we were all alone here by the carport.

"And what's the problem?" I whispered back just as quietly and he nodded towards the gate and walked ahead of me down the long driveway in his red jogging suit. Irritated, I followed him and smiled at the porter, who once again just winked amusedly, and then turned right outside on the street with Nicolo.

Only at the next intersection did he stop and point to the small side street next to us, where I immediately recognized Luca, Angelo and Guiseppe, who seemed to be arguing.

"I don't see a problem," I said, looking at the three of them, until I let my gaze wander a little to the side and recognized Dario's red Ferrari, the front of which looked completely destroyed. "Oh holy shit," I exclaimed, startled, and I quickly gave Nicolo the photo and the watch in order to lift my black dress a little and walk to the wrecked car.

"You know what I find pretty sick," Guiseppe suddenly spoke to me from the side while I stared at the Ferrari with my mouth open. "That you cheat on Nicolo with his brother!"

I glanced at him in confusion before aiming at Nicolo. "So you told them who you are?"

He nodded and I turned back to Giuseppe, who looked at me with folded arms.

"I've never been with Nicolo," I explained, wondering how stupid Guiseppe was. "Niclo just made that up!"

"Your fiancé had us kicked out of the club, did you know that?" Angelo interjected, whom I eyed at his words with a raised eyebrow.

"It's his club! I brought you in, that's all I could do!"

"But-"

"Could you all shut up!" Nicolo burst out, stepping between me and the others to point to the Ferrari in a little panic. "I have way bigger problems than your club shit!"

After receiving another goofy grin from Guiseppe, I turned back to the Ferrari and then looked at Nicolo, who put on a pleading expression as our eyes met.

And then I suddenly realized why he had brought me to it.

"No!", I immediately spoke loudly and waved my hands around wildly in typical Italian style. "Are you crazy?!"

"He won't be angry with you! Besides, Gino protects you!"

"And you Enzo! He won't shoot your head off!"

"Not that, but he will be disappointed and that for sure for half an eternity! I only have him! Gino hates me and dad is just bitching too! Please, Vica!"

Stunned, I stared at the car and then turned my sights on Nicolo again.

"He surely knows anyway that you took the car."

"No," he admitted, looking down apologetically. "I stole the keys from his jacket."

I took a deep breath, crossed my arms and shook my head.

"I was traveling with Gino for the last two hours and before that I was at driving school. How can I explain that?"

"You can say that you were just about to leave and only got as far as here."

"And the keys? I wasn't even in the house, where should I get the keys from?"

"Me! I'll just say I wanted to drive and I met you outside but you took the keys from my hand and ran away."

"It's clear," I laughed almost desperately, until I realized from his expression that he was serious about it. "Nicolo, the security guards saw us running away."

"I'll talk to you! Please!"

My gaze fell to the three boys next to us, who looked at me expectantly.

"Okay," I said annoyed and was immediately snatched into Nicolo's arms.

"You've got something good with me, Vica!", he was happy until I glared at him angrily and he smiled apologetically.

"That's probably the least," I replied, watching him disappear down the narrow street behind me. "Where are you going?"

"I'll tell the security guards and get Dario!" he shouted, running around the corner so that I was left alone with the three of them. Luca and Angelo walked over to the Ferrari and as I watched them chat about how much a repair would cost, I suddenly felt Guiseppe's breath on the back of my neck and turned to face him, confused and angry at the same time.

"Can you please keep your distance?" I snapped at him, but he just smiled stupidly and stepped close to me. Only now did I realize that he was also a bit taller than me and he looked down at me and lightly licked his lips.

"You seem to be easy to persuade to do things you really don't want to do," he whispered and when he suddenly took another step closer, I grabbed his crotch with all my strength and squeezed so hard that he groaned in pain and too Luca and Angelo's full attention was on us.

"Get a grip on yourself, you cock-controlled idiot!" I warned him when I let go of him again and he held both hands in front of his crotch with a pained expression, continuing to eye me.

"That's how the best relationships start," he moaned and I rolled my eyes annoyed at him and turned to Luca and Angelo.

"Get out before Dario comes. I can explain the car, but not your presence."

Luca gave me a friendly nod and grabbed Guiseppe's arm to disappear down the street ahead of Angelo and now I had to wait.

Waiting to see if I would even live tonight.

What a shitty situation I'd gotten myself into again, but I couldn't have let Nicolo down, could I?

Awaiting my impending death sentence, I paced slowly back and forth in front of the Ferrari, nervously thinking that taking the blame like that was a mistake.

Was I really that kind? Unfortunately yes .

But then came the moment when I froze with bated breath and I didn't have time to continue questioning everything because I saw Dario coming towards me at the end of the street. His white shirt was tight against the muscles of his chest, which showed me only too well how tense he was, and I immediately turned my eyes to Nicolo, who was walking beside him like a sad lump.

"Ludovica," Dario nodded to me in a dark voice and after Nicolo stopped by me, Dario walked on to his Ferrari without saying anything else and crouched down in front of him to take a close look at the damage.

"He's going to tie me up somewhere and torture me to death," I whispered to Nicolo. "Or he'll yell at me so loud that I'll just drop dead from fear."

"Apparently you don't know him well," Nicolo said and immediately I looked at him questioningly. "Dario is not a hothead, especially not towards women. At best, he will ignore you for the rest of your life and you will die with your guilt."

"Very reassuring," I murmured, and when Dario then got up and turned to face us, I held my breath in panic again and quickly stared down at the asphalt.

"How did that happen exactly?", he wanted to know perfectly calm despite everything, but when I looked at him again, he was just rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, which made me widen my eyes, because this gesture surely didn't mean anything good.

"She just stole my key and ran away. She couldn't be stopped" I suddenly heard Nicolo next to me and then looked at him in bewilderment. It was so incredibly easy for him to pin all the blame on me that it made me all the angrier that I even agreed.

When my eyes met apologetically Darios again afterwards, he also looked at me intensely and I could have sworn that we stood there for hours, I lost myself so deeply in his blue eyes, but it was certainly only seconds that passed until he turned back to Nicolo.

"Go home. I want to talk to Ludovica alone."

Please do not !

Nicolo didn't leave any time to even think about it, he was suddenly gone so quickly and I was now standing alone and nervous in front of Dario, who was slowly walking towards me. He watched me in silence, as if contemplating what he was going to do with me now, my heart pounding out of my chest from my body still reacting so much to him, his smell and his closeness.

This is how a deer must have felt when it was surrounded by a wolf and its heart almost stopped beating. It was beyond awkward, especially since he was the last person I wanted to upset. It wasn't even my fault, and yet there was this tiny, treacherous part of me that cried out for giving it complete control over me, but I shook myself almost imperceptibly, smothering that little flame inside and just thinking about it how attached I felt to Gino until suddenly Dario broke the silence.

"You've changed, Ludovica," he said suddenly, slightly contemptuously, as he stopped right in front of me and looked down at me without expression. As if automatically, I glanced at his watch, but as always, he had his hands in the pockets of his trousers. I tried to pull myself together and brought my eyes back to his, looking at him as blankly as possible.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, tilting my head slightly to lose myself again in the depths of his blue irises.

"A few weeks ago you would never have lied to me about something like this. Especially not so soon after you shot your uncle. You would have been crying, you would have been ashamed, but I can't see anything in your eyes anymore. Just Cold and panic. I don't recognize you anymore."

My jaw nearly dropped. Not because he'd probably found out from Gino what I'd done, and not because he'd seen through our lie right away, but because he was kind of right.

I had changed.

I had killed someone and I was fine less than two hours later. There was no guilt, no remorse, no pity. Not a single tear wanted to shed at the memory of what I had done and all of a sudden, I didn't recognize myself either. I was ashamed of him in a way I didn't know, but that was my life after all. I needed to get more serious. get colder. How else was I supposed to survive at Gino's side when everything was so dark around us?

"I said from the beginning, he will destroy you in the long run," Dario said regretfully at my silence and lifted my chin slightly, causing me to swallow hard and avoid his gaze in embarrassment. I was someone else before him and I hated that he could bring out that submissive side of me with just a touch. I didn't want to be like that anymore. "And he's doing a great job. He's already taken your conscience away from you."

Overwhelmed by his proximity and his words, I mustered all my courage and slapped his hand away, only to glare at him angrily. It was clear again that he put all the blame on Gino, just like everyone else always did, but not with me! Not after Gino had defended me from Giovanna more than once while everyone else just looked on.

"You just don't know me and you never knew me! Of course everything was too much for me at first, but now I've arrived! And yes, I don't regret shooting him because he deserved it! Besides, what do you expect "That I remain weak? Crying after you? You had a choice! I didn't. and now stick to your choice!"

"What choice? I have to marry Giovanna because, unlike Gino, I think about the consequences! Do you think it's easy!?"

He looked at me intently, demanding an answer, but I only looked at the Ferrari and then turned my back on it, overwhelmed by everything.

"Send me a bill!"

I was about to disappear down the street with the chaos in my head when he grabbed my hand and jerked me around so violently that I pounded against his chest and took a deep, startled breath.

"Dario!" I admonished him quietly and broke away from him, even though my heart was pounding from his proximity to my throat.

"Why do you want to run away now?! Just because it's too much for you again?!"

"Let me go!" I sobbed, already crying slightly, and snatched my hand away from him. I didn't want to feel anything when he touched me. I didn't want to give myself up to this shit and felt more and more how slowly I couldn't hold back more tears. Why couldn't he just leave me alone, even if he was right, he could let me go down with Gino! It was none of his business!

"Just leave me alone, Dario!" I threw at him angrily, wiping away my tears. "Gino protects me and-"

"Yes, does he do that?! By burying influential people in the forest!? Or embarrassing Giovanna!? Does that make you feel safe?!" he suddenly yelled at me completely uncontrollably, so that I took a step back from him . "You know what you get from his oh so great protection?! Almost a hole in your throat! I'm the one who makes sure that Giovanna is kept happy and we can live in peace! You know how I feel about it he yelled, desperately handing his fingers through his black hair to briefly stare at his Ferrari. "Especially if I have to see you with him every day.."

I eyed him, my heart racing, and I realized something in that moment. This, his screaming and swearing, wasn't angry at the car, or at me. He was in a situation himself that he would probably never be able to escape from and it suddenly hurt me incredibly to see him like that, where I used to think he was the most controlled person I knew. But it wasn't like that. he didn't have anything under his control anymore and that's when I had the bitter thought that I was even trying hard to control my feelings because he was right. I wasn't like that. .. That was not me.

"I killed my uncle," I then whispered into the resulting silence without even wanting to and finally felt tears coming up while I watched Dario as his eyes searched mine and he probably still recognized the Ludovica he had saw in me, even if I felt more than just a heap of misery again.

There they were. The feelings that were normal and had to come out and when I thought about the fact that I could only let them out in front of Dario, I started crying so bitterly that he stared at me in shock and quickly came towards me .

"Ludo," he whispered apologetically, hugging me tightly. "Take it easy. I didn't mean to hurt you."

His words came muffled into my mind as I clung to him tightly, slowly seeming to process it all.

I felt his hands caress my back and at the same time that my tears slowly stopped running down my cheeks, until finally, after what felt like an eternity, I caught my breath and slowly and carefully broke away from him.

"I'm sorry," I stammered, quickly wiping away the rest of my tears, only to realize his hands were still very still on my waist.

"Sorry about what?" he wanted to know calmly and after I took a small step back and thus increased the distance to him and also made sure that his so pleasant touch left me, I glanced at the Ferrari and shook it with a pained smile Head.

"Your car," I said, and immediately a fleeting smile appeared on his lips, but I simply turned away and walked along the street for a bit, because I just had to get away, even though the situation had eased.

"And what about my car?" he called after me and I turned to face him again while putting my hand on my forehead to avoid being blinded by the sun.

"Remember our first night at the club?" I called out to him and he immediately chuckled stupidly and raised an eyebrow in anticipation. "You never paid me. Now we're even!"

"Expensive fun!" he immediately retorted, and after only a slight shrug, I turned back around and kept walking until I heard him say "but I would do it again" and stopped briefly in my movement .

Memories flew through my mind and the world seemed to have stopped spinning with me, but I didn't look back, blocking it all out and determinedly putting one foot in front of the other to get this all behind me.