Chapter 36: Chapter 36

After Nunzio dropped me off at the driving school, I completed the 45 minutes and then waited in the hot sun for Gino, who appeared to be late.

I still didn't know why I should accompany him, but I thought nothing of it either. He often wanted me to come to the club to help him with all the paperwork, but it usually ended up in a fight, so it became less and less common.

"Ciao bella," I suddenly heard his familiar voice behind me and stared full of anticipation at the roadside, where he sat casually in his BMW with black sunglasses and smiled at me.

"Ciao belluomo," I greeted him with a playful smile and quickly walked around the car to sit down on the warm leather with a grin.

"How did it go?" he immediately wanted to know curiously after we exchanged a quick kiss and it still annoyed me that I recently had to change driving instructors, but I didn't let Gino show it. In contrast to the young guy, the old woman I had to drive with was really strict and quickly annoyed with me, but if my fiancé insisted, why not?

"It went really well," I explained curtly and then listened to the music while I watched the people out the window and Gino steered the car safely through the streets.

"When is the exam?"

"It still takes some time."

"Why? I thought it was going well?"

He gave me a quick glance and I just shrugged unknowingly.

"Apparently I still drive a bit too unsafe", I repeated the words of my driving instructor and suddenly recognized my old school on the side of the road, which immediately made me wonder what we were doing here on the outskirts of Palermo. I was about to ask Gino about it, but he kept asking about the driving school.

"Insecure? Amore mio, you need to become more confident. What have you got to lose?"

"My life if I drive too fast," I replied dryly, immediately turning my gaze to him as we pulled up in front of the familiar prefab building where I'd spent the last few years and had a lot of bad memories of lonely nights. "What's that about? What are we doing here?"

I glared at him questioningly, watching as he removed his sunglasses and placed them in the center console, before leaning over my legs. He opened the glove compartment and suddenly pulled out a gun, which made me take a deep breath and look at the prefabricated building again.

"As I said, collect debts and now, get out."

As he exited the car, I sat still for a moment, staring after him nervously, until he turned to me and his eyes told me only too well that I had to obey his words.

"What the heck," I whispered to myself and also got out to run towards Gino with a view of the entrance to the house, who immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him.

"Take that," he suddenly said when we were standing in front of the front door and held out the pistol to me, which I only stared at with my mouth open.

"No," I replied immediately, seriously, shaking my head in the negative. "I'll never use a gun again! Have you forgotten what happened last time?"

"No, I didn't. And that's exactly why I want you to take this weapon now. You have to get rid of that fucking insecurity! It can cost you your life by my side."

He looked at me intently and while he must have been waiting for me to finally pick up the gun, I thought about what an innocent little finger could do. I'd already shot someone's tail off and didn't really want a repeat, but when my eyes met Gino's again I knew I had no choice either way.

"My goodness!" I hissed annoyed and then took the gun, but only because I didn't want him to keep calling me a poor, weak little mistress anymore.

i hated it

"And yet I won't shoot anyone," I said and only got a stupid grin from him, which in spite of everything conjured up a pleasant tingling sensation in my stomach.

"You didn't want to last time either. So it'll be fun for sure," he smiled and when he suddenly pressed "Grasso" on the doorbell, I looked at him with wide eyes, but he ignored me and opened the buzzing front door to see me to stop them afterwards.

"Gino, you want-"

"Shhht, anatra," he interrupted, and with his hand on my back pushed me towards the dark stairwell, where I padded ahead of him, slowly and nervously up the stairs until we arrived at the floor whose surroundings seemed so familiar to me.

"And now show me that I don't have to worry about you when I'm not around," Gino whispered in my ear from behind and then knocked on Fillipo's door, who opened it shortly afterwards and opened it to me mouth and wide-open eyes.

"Ludovica," he said my name, but I couldn't react that quickly when Gino grabbed his neck and pushed him roughly back into the apartment, where he threw him onto his chair with a violent jerk.

I stood frozen in the doorway, eyeing my uncle's dirty undershirt and briefly scanning the living room, which had changed quite a bit since my absence. It was filthy, with empty bottles and clothes strewn everywhere, while the unpleasant odor made it clear to me that he couldn't really do without me.

"Shut the door," Gino instructed me without looking at me and while I obeyed his order with a stomach ache, he walked over to the small kitchen and searched the drawers.

"What's all this?!", Fillipo whispered to me anxiously and kept looking at Gino in panic, which I did the same.

Not knowing what was going on here myself, I didn't answer him and instead looked at the photo on the fridge where my mom and dad were looking straight into my eyes.

"There it is," Gino suddenly said happily and got out a roll of tape, which he used to run back to the chair and start tying Fillipo's hands together, who didn't even resist trembling and only looked up at me for help.

"Gino, what's that about?" I asked him and glanced at the gun in my hand, which Fillipo was also staring at with wide eyes.

"I've paid my debts!" he blurted out in panic as Gino stood next to me and regarded him without any emotion.

"Oh yeah? I didn't see any money," Gino answered calmly and then looked over at me. "Do you?"

I met his gaze and swallowed hard as my heart began to beat faster and faster.

"No," I whispered softly and Gino immediately turned his gaze back to Filippo, who was looking back and forth between us as if he saw two ghosts.

"You gave me Ludovica, but Ludovica is my wife now, so I don't see her as a debt settlement, my dear Fillipo."

My uncle immediately threw a stunned look at my hands and widened his eyes when he spotted the beautiful ring, which I also stared at briefly.

"I don't have anything!" he immediately defended himself and looked around the living room anxiously. "Please, I have no money! I have nothing!"

"Aim for his head," Gino suddenly said next to me and I looked at him in bewilderment, while Fillipo's first tears ran down his cheeks and he started to pray with his eyes closed.

"No," I replied to Gino and put the gun behind my back. "That is my uncle!"

"Your uncle?" Gino repeated, his expression so blank I knew this wasn't going to end well.

He ran to the fridge, tore off the picture of my parents and came back to hold it right in front of my face.

"When I first saw you, down in the living room, I was supposed to rate you. Remember when I saw all those scars on your back?!"

"Si," I replied hesitantly, dodging the photo to hold back my tears.

"Wasn't it your oh so great uncle who abused and used you like you were scum?! Do you think your parents would accept that?!"

Gino put the picture in his trouser pocket and pointed to Fillipo, who I also looked at again. He trembled, holding his bound hands to his tear-streaked face and sobbing over and over again, making me feel sorry for what he had done to me.

"He's still my uncle," I breathed and then felt Gino's hand on my chin. He took it between his fingers, forcing me to look at him, and pierced me with his dark irises.

"If I had my way I would torture him to death for what he did to you for years," he whispered into my face and I didn't recognize him at all. Why did he put me in this situation?! "But you're right. It's your uncle and your decision what happens to him. Only if you think that someone who abused you should be allowed to live, then I don't know if I can live with that attitude. "

He removed his hand from my chin, took a few steps back and looked at me expectantly.

What should I do now?

Gino calmly leaned his back against the wall next to me and lit a cigarette, then eyed me while slowly letting the smoke out of his mouth.

My heart was beating uncontrollably at the sight of him, which suddenly made me unbearably hot and I had a little trouble holding the heavy weapon in my sweating hands.

So that's how it was now.. I had to decide for myself how Gino would see me in the future and if he even wanted me by his side anymore. To do this, I had to decide my uncle's fate, which would have been God's job.not mine.

"Ludovica," I heard Fillipo's whiny voice from my right and took my eyes off Gino to turn, holding my breath, to the chair, where Fillipo looked up at me pleadingly. "I beg you! What would Tiziano think if he knew about this!"

Without saying anything to him, I thought about my father, who had always been my role model. It hurt to hear his name. So much so that I couldn't hold back the tears that slowly ran down my warm cheeks. But not only sadness, pain was also associated with this memory, because at the same time I remembered how inhumane Fillipo treated me when my father was suddenly no longer there and above all he was able to protect me.

"What would he think if he knew what you did to me?" I breathed in a trance, looking deep into my uncle's fear-filled eyes.

I lost myself in the memories of how often and uninhibitedly he had hit me with his belt. How many times at night I cried my father's name into my tear-streaked pillow. How many times had I wished for this exact situation right here. At the time I was defenseless. Just a little girl who wanted to be loved and now, years later, I finally had the opportunity to do to her exactly what he did to me the years had done.

"You ruined my life," I whispered, slowly raising the gun to look at it dazedly. "You took everything from me."

"Please, Ludovica, I'm sorry -"

Without letting him finish, I aimed squarely at his tied hands to take a deep breath, steadying the weapon. He was begging for his life, but I stopped listening to him because he had never listened to me either. How many times had I cried. asked his forgiveness. while he groped me and almost knocked me unconscious.

I only indulged in my gloomy memories, paying no attention to anything around me and even the world suddenly moved more slowly for me until I put my finger on the trigger, closed my eyes and without thinking about it pulled the trigger. The loud bang made me wince and echoed off the walls, but for that brief moment I felt nothing at all.

"You stupid bitch!!" I immediately heard Fillipo cursing loudly, whereupon I opened my eyes again and gasped. I watched through tears as he tried to pull his blood-soaked hands to his chest, but I also saw a wound on his undershirt that seemed to be bleeding profusely. "You're going to pay for that, you filthy -"

Fillipo didn't have a chance to speak again, when another shot sounded next to me and I let the gun fall out of my trembling hands in shock as I had to watch with wide eyes as all life drained from his eyes and he ceaselessly started from a wound his neck was bleeding.

It was only a fleeting moment before I felt Gino's hands cup my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. He didn't say anything, just stared at me intently for a while, then leaned down slightly to gently place his lips on my forehead.

"He didn't deserve anything else," he breathed against my skin and I immediately freed myself from his grip and walked past him into my old room.

I felt like I couldn't breathe and I would have liked to blame Gino for just shooting someone. but it wasn't his fault, I had done it for myself.

The strange thing was that I seemed more excited than sad. There were no regrets.no regrets.on the contrary. I felt free. Free from a burden I had been carrying around for years, and yet I suddenly cried bitterly as I stood alone in my room and realized what I had done in the first place. I was completely consumed by these many different feelings and I clutched my heart and cried for fear I would not be able to catch my breath.

"Anatra," I heard Gino's dark voice behind me, but I didn't react to him and instead tried to calm myself down.

"I'm fine," I sobbed, looking through the veil of tears to my pillow. I immediately ran the few meters to my bed, tore the pillow aside and saw the expensive watch, which I immediately took with me.

"What's that?" Gino asked, stepping close to me while gripping my free hand tightly in his.

"My watch," I explained with a slight smile and immediately turned to bury my face in his chest for comfort. He stroked my back lightly, seemed to want to calm me down and it actually worked. Even if I had done something bad, it was still the right thing. Filippo wasn't a good person and who knew how many more women he would have hurt.

"Take me home, please," I whispered against Gino's chest and at that moment I realized how many times I had said this sentence to him before.

"Anything you want," he returned, as always, and I slowly pulled away from his strong chest to catch a glimpse of his eyes before he led me back outside into the living room, holding my hand.

I actually didn't want to look at Fillipo anymore, but I couldn't help it and the sight of him burned itself deep into my mind, while Gino's hand was the one that seemed to free me from this hell.

It wasn't until we went down the stairwell and finally arrived in the fresh air again under the Palermo sun that I took a deep breath and seemed to be able to think clearly again. The tears disappeared, leaving behind a feeling of balance.

"What happens to his corpse?" I wanted to know and looked around in front of the building because I had to think about the policeman for a moment. The fact that we had just shot someone would certainly play into their hands, but there was no one to be seen here apart from the two of us.

"Let the rats eat him," Gino said coldly and then held the door of his car open for me. "Whoever hurt you doesn't deserve me lifting a finger for their fucking corpse."

I nodded and dropped into the car. Actually, I just wanted to sit back and figure it all out, but suddenly Gino crouched down next to the door and looked at me so sympathetically that a pleasant shiver ran down my spine.

"What was he like?" he asked and I thought for a moment that he really wanted to talk about Fillipo, but then he handed me the picture of my parents and put his hand on my thigh to look at me expectantly.

I took the picture hesitantly, carefully stroked my father's face and even though my emotions were pure chaos at the moment, a bright smile appeared on my lips immediately.

"He was my personal superhero," I gushed wistfully, looking down at Gino, who smiled at me encouragingly. "Whether I was fighting with mom, or with teachers or other kids, he was always there for me. He defended me and listened to me. He didn't care about money or status. He just wanted me to be happy. .."

"Sounds like a wonderful man," Gino replied in a whisper and after I nodded at him with tears in his eyes, he took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly.

"Thank you," I said softly and immediately Gino got up to close my door and get in on his side.

"What for?" he asked and looked over at me for a moment before starting the car.

"For asking how he was. It's good to talk about him because sometimes it seems like he never existed."

There was a silence that was slightly uncomfortable and when I looked at Gino afterwards, I saw that he also seemed to be busy with something.

"I know the feeling too well," he breathed dejectedly and found my hand with his, crossing it on my thigh while he steered the car with one hand and drove home with me.