Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Dario stood in the doorway as if caught in a trance, staring me up and down. His proud gaze made me take a deep breath while his blue irises seemed to survey every inch of my body, but I quickly regained my sanity and picked up the dress to hold it protectively over my exposed body. Stunned, I eyed him until he quietly closed the door behind him and I suddenly felt only anger, which released a great despair inside me.

Basically, it was his fault that I was now destined to carry his wedding rings around with me. I should sink her and Giovanna into the sea.

"How are you?" he asked calmly, casually leaning against the door to put his hands loosely in his jeans pockets.

I had to bite back a hysterical laugh because the question was brimming with ridiculousness.

"How am I doing?" I repeated, slightly snappy, whereupon he immediately changed his posture and crossed his arms defensively in front of his chest. I guess he didn't like getting snotty answers, and I didn't want to be like that, but my feelings seemed out of control, especially so soon after the latest news. "Honestly? I feel like shit," I began to say, slipping my feet into the dress and hurrying to pull it over my hips. "I was shot by a crazy stranger, given to his son by a mafia boss, fucked by my other brother and now I'm your fiancée's employee too," I blurted out and I couldn't help myself. laughing desperately over and over again.

For the first time, as I tucked my arms awkwardly into the tight sleeves of the dress, I looked over at him again, standing quite still and seeming to be listening intently.

"Oh yes, I'm also a maid of honor now. It fits to round off the picture of my miserable existence!"

In my delusion, I tried more and more hectically to close the side zipper of my dress, but it got stuck and that was the straw that broke the camel's back for my self-control.

I gasped for air as I tugged at him, feeling the warm tears running down my cheeks, until Dario suddenly came closer and stood right in front of me. I closed my eyes momentarily to take a deep breath before looking up at him and getting lost in the deep, beautiful blue of his eyes. Completely overwhelmed with myself, I then felt his hands on my side, which very carefully and slowly closed the zipper, which seemed to calm me down, even if only for a damn short duration.

"Life is never easy," he said softly, while his voice sounded pained and he also looked at me as if he were going through something himself. "All the more you appreciate the few moments that seem perfect and know how to rise above all the bad."

My heart danced to the sound of his dark voice, and as he placed his hand on my cheek, wiping away sporadic tears with his thumb, I closed my eyes and nuzzled my cheek in his warm, soothing touch, seeking comfort.

"These moments keep me alive," I whispered wistfully, and after tentatively opening my eyes again to look at him, he suddenly brought his lips closer to me, sending an unprecedented heat through me and unconsciously stopping my breathing.

"Ludovica," he breathed against my lips, and even though I knew it would be so wrong, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. I didn't care. If Gino tortured me for ages for this, I would bear it if I could only draw on this memory, but quite unexpectedly he broke my gaze and took a step back, while I felt like an idiot again.

He didn't want closeness, warmth or love. He just wanted to play.

And I fell for it every time.

He just wanted to turn away from me and go to the door, but I held him back by his arm. He immediately looked at me warningly, but I still didn't take my hand away.

"Why are you playing with me?" I asked bluntly, jaw clenched as he yanked his arm away from me.

"I told you from the start let me be in control. Showed you what I can and can't do. Warned you about saying yes to the engagement and wanted to be there when you were crying in your room . You sent me away, I didn't send you away. You don't know what you want and-"

"I don't necessarily have the choice to decide what I want either," I retorted through tears, but he just shook his head as he eyed me expressionlessly.

"You always have a choice, but you have to risk something for it!"

"Like you?" I asked and wanted to meet his serious gaze, but his dominant charisma wouldn't allow it, so I avoided his gaze and winced when the door was suddenly flung open.

"There you are," Enzo said and smiled at me and the dress until his facial expression changed when he noticed Dario next to him. He looked at his son in confusion and when my gaze fell on Dario again, he only had eyes for me and made no move to avert his gaze.

"What's going on here?" Enzo wanted to know a little louder and put his hand on the latch to close the door when Dario finally turned to him.

"I don't want her as a maid of honor," Dario said coolly and immediately got a warning look from his father, which he skilfully ignored. "You want me to marry that woman, fine, but on my terms and Ludovica isn't one of them!"

Dario left the office and here I was. Alone and abandoned thrown to the lion.

"I guess he doesn't like me," I babbled, embarrassed, waiting impatiently for Enzo to say something, but he just stared at me thoughtfully and then walked past me behind his desk.

"Or too much," he whispered dazedly, and I suddenly watched nervously as he took a pistol out of his drawer and filled it with ammunition.

"Enzo?" I breathed, my heart racing, and took a few steps back from the table, wide-eyed, but he seemed completely lost in thought and continued to charge the gun without letting himself be dissuaded for even a second.

I should have stayed in bed or gone shopping.

My heart was beating like crazy.

Why? ..

Because I knew full well that I had done something wrong and now I would probably face the consequences for it.

I imagined all sorts of horror and torture scenarios while Enzo slammed the gun down on the desk and calmly lit a cigar. Panicking, I thought about what would have happened if I hadn't been home the night Nunzio went to see my uncle. What if I had never slept with Dario. What if I just did what people asked me to do for once.

Do I regret my actions? No. and yet they were all playing with fire.

"It's really exhausting to feel betrayed in your own house," Enzo began to break the awkward silence and then took a long drag on his cigar. "It's even worse not being able to do anything about it."

Our eyes met, fleetingly but intensely, and while he walked to the window and stared out at the sun, I grabbed the chair next to me to find some kind of support in the situation.

I'm sure he meant me.

My betrayal of Gino and thus of the entire family. He noticed it and somehow, strangely enough, I stayed calm, even though I expected the worst, but my mother always said don't regret anything if you were happy at the moment of the event .

Was I happy in the moments with Dario?

"Ludovica?" Enzo suddenly spoke to me seriously, pulling me on the chaos of my confused thoughts and stepping close to me. So close that the foul smell of the cigar bit my nostrils and enveloped everything around me. "Giovanna is not like you. Not a good person and yet very intelligent. Her family is so much more powerful than anyone else here in Italy and the only reason she married Dario is because she really wanted him. If he was denied, the chances are pretty good that we'll all become fish food shortly thereafter."

I stared at him in complete confusion, not understanding what all of this had to do with me until he turned back to the window and took a deep breath.

"Dario has to carry this burden and he does. I beg you, as a father of three sons who no longer have a mother, stop provoking something that could bring everything down."

He turned back to me, watching me closely as I acted on his words, and after just being grateful he hadn't shot me in the head, I nodded in agreement. Of course, he didn't even have to say what he was talking about and I actually felt that staying away from Dario would really help me if I had to.

Not out of fear that something would happen to me, but out of fear that something would happen to my new family.

How ironic considering I slept with half my family.

"I didn't mean to cause any trouble and there won't be any trouble because of me," I retorted and he immediately approached me to plant a kiss on each of my cheeks.

"I knew you'd understand."

He pulled away from me, walked around his desk and stuck the gun inside his jacket, which I watched curiously. I guess he didn't miss my stare because his eyes found mine again.

"Treason. I don't think you got shot by accident anymore. If Giovanna is half as good at interpreting Dario as I am, then you're a living target right now. I'll drive you to the club . To Gino, to make you feel safe."

"I feel safe here too," I told him honestly, because I didn't want to go to this club. No more.

There were somber memories hovering there that made it impossible for me to feel comfortable for even a second. After all, I was almost raped there and saw someone die. I wanted to forget and repress all this.

"I want you to spend as little time with Dario as possible. Understand that and get changed so we can go."

He looked down at his desk and started sorting through papers and somehow I just stood there, frozen. Enzo knew, felt and saw that there was something between me and Dario and yet he didn't want to hurt me for it.

"Why?" I asked him and immediately he lifted his head in my direction while I cursed myself for not being able to let it go. "Why do you keep letting me live here when you know full well that I've made so many mistakes? You could have it easier and let me go."

"And what's the price for that?" he asked and took another drag on his cigar.

"What price?"

He smiled fleetingly and walked around the table to stand in front of the family picture on the wall. There was a short period of absolute silence before he turned back to me.

"Dario looks at you in a way I've never seen him do before. And Gino, for the first time in his life, is making at least a little effort to be a better person. Why should I take that away from them, just to give them two ice-cold shells again watching them live their lives without motivation?"

"But-" I wanted to mention that I certainly couldn't make either of them happy, but I refrained from doing so. I didn't really know what to say to all of that. All this chaos was too much and now Enzo knew about it and would surely keep me under constant surveillance.

"Close your eyes and through, Ludovica. We all have to make sacrifices to survive."

I nodded again, took my clothes off the chair and walked quickly out of the office. I didn't want to listen to sacrifice or burden for another second. Nobody had to endure that. With normal people there was no compulsion, no unwanted marriages and other things.

That was only the case with mafia families.

And for what?

For money and power. They sought happiness in things that did not involve happiness.

Or did they not want to be happy at all? At least no one in this house seemed happy to me, except Giovanna, who was just walking towards me from the living room with an expression glowing with anger.

Now she didn't look happy either.