Chapter 25: Chapter 25

"Gino, I-"

With a force that terrified me, he smashed the phone out of my hand so furiously that that I watched it fly all over the room with bated breath.

I began to tremble slightly and didn't even dare look up at him, but he forced me to do so, roughly grasping my chin between his fingers and turning my head in his direction.

His rough touch hurt, but I didn't complain or show it as he looked deep into my eyes and seemed to tremble with anger.

"Never again, if you answer my cell phone, do you understand that?"

"Si," I answered immediately in a low voice and didn't recognize him at all at that moment. His voice sounded colder than usual, his eyes seemed empty and he even briefly increased the pressure on my chin before I groaned in pain and he let me go.

Ignoring me, he walked around the bed to his cell phone while I tried to get oxygen into my lungs and control the uncontrolled tremors, but couldn't.

It was also just a really shitty move on my part and of course I immediately started blaming myself again, like I always did with Filippo. Also, Gino was so nice to me for a short time that I completely forgot how he was feeling at first.

"Fuck!" Gino cried out loud and I watched wide-eyed as he smashed his phone against the wall behind him, breaking it into pieces. It was probably already broken before.

He ran his hands over his face, then looked at me again and I panicked and held my breath again at the same time to hug my bent legs at the same time.

"Ludo," he whispered softly in my direction, also coming towards me to sit next to me on the edge of the bed, making me wince slightly. "Excuse me."

He put his hand on mine and I wasn't able to say anything at all. I was completely confused by his ever-changing emotions. How am I supposed to find my way in this chaos? Especially if I never knew how severe his reactions to my stupid actions would be.

"Please look at me," he whispered, and I just did, but I felt more like I was looking right through him. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, amore."

He breathed those words into my face and leaned in further to plant a light kiss on my cheek, which seemed to convey how sorry he really was. Faced with what I'd done behind his back and the fact that my breathing and body had recovered from the shock, I smiled mildly at him and laid my hand on his.

"I shouldn't have answered his phone," I also admitted my mistake and to my relief he seemed to completely calm down, which calmed me as well.

Without saying anything else, he got up again, collecting the remains his cell phone and turned to me again.

"My credit card is in the bedside table. Have a nice day. I'll be back tonight."

I gave the slightest nod, and when he pulled the door closed from the outside, I finally let my tears out and held the blanket over my face to muff my sobs, which came out loud and uncontrollably.

The merry-go-round of my life went on and on, not even stopping for a second to save me from the dizziness that was spreading like a shadow over everything.

I couldn't believe how close I was to the abyss and when I thought about it in shock that I had been shot, a rather bitter thought came to my mind.

My mother was always very religious and among us Catholics, adultery was considered one of the greatest sins. I suddenly imagined that I had been shot because of that, why else would it have happened? Maybe God wanted to give me one more chance and let me survive only to put myself to the test.

"Damn," I cursed through tears, wiping tears from my face with my shaking hands as I stared at the window, my mind working overtime to blame myself for all of this.

I should never have gotten involved with Dario, should never have been in that park and just taking Gino's phone just made it all better.

Guilt, remorse, desperation. All feelings that could carry you away. Even a grain of sand from these doubts was enough to unleash an all-consuming sandstorm that takes your breath away and at the same time robs you of a clear view of the simplest things.

I really couldn't take it anymore.

"Vica?", Nicolo's voice tore me out of the total, mental self-destruction and only dazed I found my way to my feet and got up carefully from the bed, which immediately made me slightly dizzy again. Just what strong pills had Dario given me?

"Come in," I called in a hoarse voice, sitting back down on the edge of my bed. Getting up wasn't a good idea in this state, so I would probably spend the whole day in bed today.

I really thought so at the time!

"Ciao," Nicolo greeted me with a wry smile, and then behind him I saw Enzo come into the room with a tray full of pancakes and tea, which brought a grateful grin to my face, despite my torn state.

Enzo placed the tray on the bed next to me and then sat up next to Nicolo to give him a light smack on the back of the head, making Nicolo look at me uncertainly.

"I wanted to apologize to you," he mumbled nervously, and I immediately felt guilty again, thinking that he must have taken all the blame for everything. "I would have you-"

"Don't do that," I interrupted him politely, looking at him seriously. "You don't have to apologize to me because it's not your fault at all."

"Ludovica", Enzo spoke to me and after looking at Nicolo intently, I turned my questioning look to Enzo. "He's a Mancini and we have certain rules. One of the most important is that women in our family are always protected and not dragged into a park full of drunken youth."

His voice was very dark and I let my eyes wander to Nicolo, who only looked down dejectedly, and then back to Enzo.

"I see," I admitted. "But he didn't shoot and Dario was with me at that moment too. Even he couldn't stop it."

"But you wouldn't have been in the park without Nicolo," countered Enzo.

"Maybe I would have been shot in the head if I had been in driving school. Who knows what fate would have awaited me there."

Enzo seemed to be thinking for himself and put his arm around Nicolo's shoulders in order to offer me his hand at the same time, which I took in my own after a moment's hesitation.

"I'm not asking you to go to this park anymore. From now on, someone will always accompany you. Gino is looking for the shooter and as long as we don't have him, you won't leave this house!"

Enzo looked at me and raised an eyebrow until I nodded in agreement and then he let go of my hand.

"And I'll drive you to school personally and pick you up too! Got it?"

Nicolo nodded too, but I could see that he was anything but enthusiastic about it, because he ran quickly out of the room and didn't pay attention to closing the door quietly behind him.

"Young people are very unruly when it comes to their emotions," Enzo commented on his son's behavior while we both stared at the door.

"There are some adults there too," I replied, thinking briefly of Gino before catching Enzo's eyes and taking a deep breath. "Was that shot meant for me, or was I just getting in the way of hitting Dario?"

Enzo looked at me for a moment, lost in thought, but then an encouraging smile spread across his lips, just as if he were trying to cover up his own insecurity.

"Gino will find out, you don't need to worry about that."

After Enzo left my room again, I got down to the really delicious pancakes and drank the soothing tea until I got up carefully from the bed again.

For me, a grazing shot meant that it was probably just stitches, and that in turn meant that I certainly didn't have to go to bed. Of course, everyone would certainly prefer it, including my cracked psyche, if I stayed lying here, but I could hardly stand it, also because I was increasingly concerned that Gino was looking for the shooter. What if something happened to him?

Despite my lack of feelings towards him, this idea almost drove me insane, so I hurriedly padded to the closet and put on a thin, red sweater over my light-colored pajama bottoms in order to then go and look at myself in the mirror.

Dark circles appeared under my eyes and my hair fell in all directions, but I didn't really care since I wasn't allowed out anyway.

I went to the door of the room, pushed the handle down and ran down the hall anxiously, only to then run down the stairs and look for the kitchen until I stopped in the doorway, startled.

I watched wide-eyed as Giovanna stood on a pedestal in a wedding dress and smiled at herself in a full-length mirror while several unfamiliar women stood around her. They admired her, expressed their joy and apparently drank champagne.

My heart skipped a few beats painfully as I took my eyes off her and stared across at the open kitchen, but there was no sign of Enzo or Nicolo.

"Oh, come here," a blonde suddenly spoke to me and waved me over. I didn't understand what she wanted until she suddenly held out her empty glass to me. "A champagne, Zack Zack!"

Mouth open, I let my eyes dart between hers and the glass until I heard Giovanna's scathing voice beside me.

"I'm sorry, Sara. She's a bit. Well, retarded is best," Giovanna said, taking the glass from Sara's hand to press it into my hand. "Now do what my sister told you to do!"

My gaze fell on her dress, which was way too pretty for her ugly character, but I put on a fake smile and turned back to Sara.

"Of course, come right away," I said politely and after she eyed me with a raised eyebrow, I turned my back and walked to the kitchen island, where all sorts of delicacies and some bottles of champagne were standing. However, before I got to pouring, Giovanna stepped next to me again and took a deep breath.

"You should count yourself really lucky that that miserable mutt Gino throws himself protectively in front of you! As soon as Dario has married me, he'll be the boss here and then you can find a nice kennel for yourselves," she spat in my direction and took me with her I jerked the glass out of my hand to fill it myself, which made my anger at her boil over.

"At least that mutt fucks me," I suddenly blurted out, and utterly horrified at myself, I widened my eyes and immediately looked at her apologetically, but she also seemed to be boiling over with anger. Why was she so angry anyway? Everyone knew he didn't want her. Shouldn't really be a surprise.

Instead of freaking out or yelling loudly like I had suspected, she suddenly took a step closer to me and looked me straight in the eyes with her venom-laced gaze.

"It always hits the right ones," she whispered almost maliciously, and without warning pressed her finger against the bandage on my neck, sending a searing pain through my mind. "Next time hopefully more precise!"

She averted her gaze from me, grabbed the two glasses and was about to go back to her friends when she turned to me again.

"Now get off upstairs! One word to your mutt and you'll wish you never messed with me!"

After she ignored me again, I grabbed the spot where she had pinched to see if blood was coming out of the wound, slightly panicked. To my relief not!

Although I was hungry, I quickly decided to return to my room, but it was Enzo who suddenly entered the living room and clapped his hands in anticipation when he saw Giovanna in her dress.

"Wow!" he said enthusiastically and took her shoulders to give her a quick kiss on each cheek. "You look amazing and will leave my son speechless!"

Who believes, I thought and rolled my eyes to then try to sneak out of the living room behind him, but he immediately turned to me and grabbed my arm to pull me to his side.

"Doesn't she look beautiful?" he asked me enthusiastically and when I turned my eyes to Giovannas she looked victorious at me and smiled so fake it was creepy.

"Si, beautiful."

These words out of my mouth felt like lead and had a bitter aftertaste, but I couldn't think about them for a long time, because the next surprise was already waiting for me.

"So," he said and let go of me to run to Sara while I, like Giovanna, looked after him questioningly.

"No," the bride-to-be said suddenly quietly next to me and I looked over at her confused until I felt Enzo's hand on my shoulder again and stared at him.

"The maid of honor keeps the rings. Tradition has it that the next bride in the family assumes this office, if there is one."

My hands started to tremble slightly and when I looked at Giovanna again, she seemed beside herself with anger, but she quickly suppressed her emotions again while I almost choked on mine.

"I can't do this," I said breathlessly to Enzo, imagining myself becoming a part of binding Dario to this witch forever. It seemed absolutely unimaginable to me.

"Why? Is there a problem?" he asked curiously and after I looked down silently and my heart was beating wildly with excitement, he turned his gaze to Giovanna. "Is there one?" he prompted for an answer, which made me take a deep breath.

I hoped she would just say yes. Saying that she hates me and didn't want me around at all, but I heard her composed "No" in desperation and was then given the rings in my hand.

"Fine, then try on one of the dresses."

Under Giovanna's wicked glare, I followed Enzo to a clothes rail at the end of the room, where he handed me a dress that looked absolutely gorgeous. Under normal circumstances, I would have freaked out at even trying it on, but it felt like a burden that was sure to weigh heavily on my shoulders.

"Go change in my office, it's much quieter there," Enzo instructed me and pushed me past the cackling chickens into the hallway, where I then walked on to his office by myself.

I immediately closed the door behind me and gasped in excitement several times while realizing that everything seemed to be getting worse around me. There was no way out of this vicious circle and I started undressing in frustration until I was leaning against the desk in only my underwear and someone came in without knocking.