Chapter 49: Chapter 49

“ I don’t know.” He uttered.

What will I do to enlighten him about the fact that he maybe looking for Cheska? He can’t just take the trip without anyone with him. He can’t be really felt the contentment. The answers to his questions will never given to him unless someone will really give him that.

“ Let’s plan it after the school year.” I smiled to assured him that. He slightly smiled, a cheeky one which made him cute.

“ Okay, I’ll take note of that.”

He drove straight to our village. I am still living to them yet Zaine insisted that he will live in his condo from now on. He doesn’t want to be with his mother anymore. I know he despise his mother, he told me that when we’re in the hospital, but he just can’t enumerate the reason. He can’t remember it.

I hope Zaine will remember as soon as possible as this set up will hurt him when that time will come. He is mad at me. I remember his face with so much furiousness that night that it can’t be easily erase in my mind. It is still clear.

“ We’re here,” he mumbled. That made me look up and sighed before diverted my gaze at him.

“ Come inside your house. Your mom is not inside.” I said. His face made a blank face but it easily changed into being hopeless.

“ I’m fine.”

I nodded. I respect him. He just gave me a peck on my cheeks before going out first to open the car’s door on my side. I smiled at him and went outside. He just smiled too and hugged me.

“ I will miss you so bad,” he mumbled. Something inside of me was beating very fast as if it will ripped my ribcage. I ignore that feeling and hugged him back too.

“ I’ll miss you,” I answered. “ I’m yours.” I whispered unconsciously that made him unclasped from the hug.

“ Really? Did I heard it right?” He smiled again, showing his teeth. He's really handsome with his uniform on.

“ Hm, nope. You’re just assuming.” I smirk yet I can feel my cheeks reddened with what I just said earlier. He just pinched my cheeks that made it burned even more.

“You’re blushing, huh?” he teased.

“Come inside, Zaine. Let’s eat before you go home.” I insisted. “Give me a favor for this one.”

“Fine. Let’s go inside.”

That made me giggled. “Thanks.”

“ Tsk, for you.” He just said and rolled his eyes.

We went together inside. We immediately surprised by some people on the dining area. My Mom was seating beside Dad while Auntie was on the opposite side together with her other son, Zared. I felt Zaine got stoic from his position that made him hold onto my hand tightly.

“ You’re home.” My mom went beside us and kissed both of our cheeks. I can feel their stares at it.

“Take a seat, both of you.” My dad commanded. We were guided by my mother to seat beside Zared who was just giving us a sly smile.

“Sorry, Zaine. I didn’t know.” I mumbled to him. I feel guilty that I insisted him to go inside knowing that he still hates his mother.

“ Eat. We’ll talk about something after you finished.” Aunt Zandra said that made me look at her. She was smiling yet I can still see the guilt upon her eyes.

“ About what?” Zaine interfered. His voice was flat but he still respect the elders.

“About your marriage.” My dad voice echoed around the four corners of the room.

“ We’re engaged?” Zaine look at me with disbelief on his eyes. I simply nodded. He still wants to protest but he didn’t got a chance when my dad spoke again.

“ We will not do things according to your plan now, Zandra.” My mother spoke in between.

“We decided to cut the bond between the Madrigal’s and Valdez.”

“ Why?” I heard Zared asked with a calm tone.

“ You knew what happened to them few months ago, right?” My mother asked. “They got into an accident without us knowing the very root of it.”

“Something about the Salvador’s that made them got into an accident.” Aunt Zandra went on. “It wasn’t their fault.”

“Who’s Salvador’s?” Zaine interfered.

“The surname of your real best friend, Zaine. Cheska Leign Salvador, does it ring a bell?” His mom asked him. That made Zaine’s brows furrowed into a thin line.

I got their point. They will tell him the truth now. That is expected. I just can’t believe that it will be this time.

I stared at Zaine and observed him. I can see some contentment but at the same time confusion. He was as if waiting for something but he can’t determine what it is. He is not making a sound but I can feel his tight breathing.

“ Are you okay, Zaine?”

“ I-I m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“ You’re not fine. Look at you.” I worriedly said to him.

“Do what you want to do. I am done with all this.” He firmly said to them. “If that what makes you think that it is the best decision for now, then do it. I will not decline.”

“ You see, I can’t remember anything but I can clearly see that you are also have a hard time because of me. So do as you please.” He added.

“ Zaine…” I mumbled.

“ And also, Jane. She sacrificed a lot especially our friendship for this setup so please stop this. She gone through a lot. If the right time comes, and we’re really meant to be together, then I promise to you, Sir and Ma’am Valdez, that I will marry her when that time happens.”

It felt surreal that someone is fighting for you and knowing that he understands you more than anyone else. I didn't expect him to say that to them. I was left astonished by what he said and all I can do is to look at him with mixed emotions I am still wanting to stop.

But I guess I can't. It just gotten worst because of what he just said. All of the words were as if a reminder to me that he really cares even though his memories were lost as for the moment.

He was just seriously looking at them. He was standing but I can feel that he still respect whoever's in this gatherings.

“ I gotta go, thank for the dinner.” Zaine said. I was about to stood up but he stopped me.

“ They need you here. I will call you later.”

I didn't respond. All I did was to look at his eyes who's full of confusion and disappointed. He never hide those emotions.

“ Sorry. I didn't know.”

“ It's not your fault.”

He looked at them. “Please consider my words. That's all I could asked for.”

He immediately turned away and went outside. The dining room was silent the whole time until we heard the car's noise driving away. I sighed and looked at them.

“ Thank you for considering our wishes. You know that it is not what we want. We are just friends and we want to keep it that way.”

“ I'm really sorry, hija. This is not your choice but we insisted it.” Auntie uttered. "Your parents wants you to come with them. They have a good news for you." Auntie said and went on my side. “I am really sorry for the things I made.” she added.

“ It's okay now, Auntie Zandra. Zaine needs that.” I smiled at her.

“ We'll take Jane with us.” I heard my dad said as he stood up. Mom followed and went near me. They both shake hands to the Madrigals who's now looking apologetically at us. I can't blame them too. They just want to secure their business with something and their only hope is the merging. The arranged marriage they planned.

We have already waiting for this day to come. This is what I wanted in the first place. I want to stay as his best friend. I will just depend on the fate of us. I want to treasure the moment that I am with Zaine. And all he needs now is a friend who will always be there for him and will help him remember some of his memories.

“ Thank you for the dinner, Zandra. I hope we don't need to cut the rope that bond us in this way. But now, this is the only way possible that we can think for our children to enjoy their life the way they wanted.” my mommy said.

“ Thank you too. This is not the last time that we'll see, right?”

“ Indeed. We're in good terms.” Mom smiled at her.

They bif their goodbyes with a smile on their faces. It went well though. The arranged marriage got cancelled and things were like back to normal. We went inside the car, my mom at the passenger seat, dad was the one who will drive while me was seated in the backseat.

“ We're sorry, Jane. We didn't know that you've sacrificed anything for this setup.” my dad maneuvered the car in a normal pace. He didn't seem observing me that I was looking at him on the rear mirror.

I can notice the tiredness on those eyes of him. The guilt mixed with something. The cold stares was gone as if the person I am right now is not my father. He is different. Those stares, those cold voice and the chill feeling were all gone.

“It's hard, dad.” I confessed. “But all I want is for you to be proud of me and not a hindrance or a black sheep to our family. That's why I agreed with it.”

“Let's start a new life. Different from the one we have.”

“Dad...” I got a bit emotional of what he just said. This was the words I want to hear from my parents. I want us to be reunited and busy ourselves to our family. We just need to balance our time and manage it on the things that we always prioritize.

And for me, family is the top priority of all. You can't have the things and realization in this world if you didn't went to a small group of people who will teach you to be brave amidst this trials of life.

“I want to manage my time more to our family, Jane. I want to start a new were we can now be happy and complete. I want us to be back to the family we were before."

“ And I will always repeatedly apologize to you, Jane. The things I wanted for you was not the one that you wanted.”

“Jane, for the moments that I didn't appreciate you, I'm really sorry my daughter... I now realize that I can't live with my youngest. After the accident, I got scared that you will never got back. I'm really sorry.” My mom was also crying based from her voice. Thousands of emotions can be felt as I watch them. I didn't expect this to happen.

It is hard to forgive especially those people who have cause you hatred and anger. Those people who made you realized that this world is full of unwanted people. But at the end of the day, they also teach me a lesson that I can apply to my life. That is to be strong and be independent.

Even when they make you feel unwanted, their words are too harsh to digest already, there's still someone who will believe in us. And it is ourselves.

Now that I already heard what I wanted to hear from my parents, I feeling complete. The opposite feeling I felt before. I feel wanted. But now, even stronger, mature and independent.

I smiled before I uttered the words I wanted to say to them all this time. “Mom, dad... I forgive you. Thank you... I am now complete.”

***

Zaine pick me up when Monday came. He has those bright face as he stares at me. I give him a smile back. “This is your new condo?” he asked as he looked at the building behind me. I simply nodded. “ Why didn’t you tell me that you will moved. I will give you a helping hand,” he said that made me chuckle.

“ Even I got surprised too. It was a gift from my brother.” I shrugged. I know he's a bit dissapointed that I didn't told him. I expected that to happen.

“ Why would he gave you a gift?” he asked. His voice was serious.

“ It was my birthday yesterday,” I simply smiled at him and went inside first in his car. He immediately followed and went to the driver’s seat with a shock face.

“ Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, confused.

“ I told you I was busy.” I answered him that made him frown. I just pinched his cheeks but still his reaction was still the same.

“ I thought you would just watch some Kdrama or the Season 4 of Attack on Titan?”

“ Wait how did you know that?” I ask referring to my favorite movie.

“ Tsk, answer my question first.”

“ I want to be alone when it’s my birthday. Even my siblings didn’t want to disturb me on my special day though I just considered it as a normal day.”

“ At least…” he made a sigh. “ Fine. I didn’t remember. I’m sorry.”

“ That’s fine and you don’t need to apologize, it was nothing.” I said with an innocent smile plastered on my lips.

“ You’re weird.” He commented while starting to maneuver the car.

“ And why is that?” I frown.

“ You’re the only one I knew that doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday.”

“ There’s a lot Zaine. For me, birthdays are boring, so why bother celebrate?”

He just shrugged with my notation. I played a song on my phone and set it on shuffle. The moment the song started, one person immediately occupied my mind.

A solemn song was reminded me of James. I don’t know why but this song hits hard as I will hear it. The last time I saw him was months ago from now. I want to ask if he’s okay or what is he doing, but I forgot I am the one who cut our connection after I saw her wedding invitation with Cheska. That just hit something as I remember that.

I didn’t immediately named that feeling but it was strange. Why would I think about him all of the sudden? It just made me feel guilty that I didn’t want to remember that.

“ You okay, Jane? You’re spacing out,” Zaine said.

“ Nothing, I just remembered something.”

“ Oh, that song is my favorite. I don’t know the reason though,” he opened up.

“ You sure? This song talks about unrequited love. The guy need to leave the girl for his reason but he did promise that they will see each other again.” I explained. He just nodded and got silent afterwards.

“ Jane.”

“ Hmm?” I hummed.

“ Why do I always remember Cheska? Who really is she?”

I caught off guard by his statement. He didn’t seem to notice that I got trembled at what he just said. Either I can’t even understand myself. To why do I need to respond like that. It was just a simple question yet it always give me panic.

“ Why?” I asked. “ As what we said to you last time, she is your best friend.”

We didn’t talk about this matter after what happened in the hospital. If ever he knew something or remember, hew would doubt.

“ If she’s really is my best friend, then why isn’t she here?” he curiously asked.

“ I don’t know either. She left with no reason given.”

“ Then maybe it’s confidential?”

“ Yeah.” I sighed as I remember that night.

“ By the way,” he opened up again. “ Are we really engaged?”

“ Yup, for almost nine months now.”

“ Oh really?” he said though I can clearly see his smirk upon saying that. “ I didn’t expect that though.”

“ Me neither, but thanks to you, it was already cancelled.”

“ But do you really wanted us to be together?” he asked.

“ Ah, yeah. We know the answer to that question. We both don’t want to get married.”

“ Why is that? I like you, Jane. Why would I reject that offer?”

“ I don’t know. We both don’t like each other,” I bit my lower lip. I just lied to him. I am the one who like him the most.

“ Are you sure? I can feel my heartbeats racing when I am with you. I enjoyed your company, and I am happy when we’re always together.” He smiled.

“ I can’t answer that Zaine. Only you know the answers.”

It saddens me that the person he was pertaining was not me. The thought was about the girl he likes but the person was not the same. It was different.

It was Cheska.

“ Are you really happy to be with me?” I asked but I can’t look at him that’s why I just lower my gaze. “ Are you really that it’s me?”

“ What do you mean?” he asked and stopped the car. We are in front of the school now.

“ Maybe the one you are pertaining is not me, but Cheska.”

He looked at me with a confused look. Even I could not answer his question. But all I want to know right now is, his true feelings. Maybe he's just confused. Maybe what he felt for me waa really for Cheska.

“I don't want to confuse you Zaine, but you need to resort that feeling. Only you can do that. You're the only one who can help yourself. I am just here to guide you. Us, your friends. We won't leave you hanging.”