Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Seeing them pitying me for my current situation right now seems unusual. They have those looks since earlier. I want them to know that I am fine, but I know inside that I am not.

My parents, who happened to be strict on me has already replaced with perturb actions that I never expected to see on them. They're upstairs waiting for me to approach them. I gave them a gloomy smile before I went in front of my room's door.

I just stopped when I heard dad’s voice calling my name.

"Jane."

“I am already tired dad,” I mumbled, didn’t turn my way to them. “I want to rest. Goodnight. ”

With that, I went inside. I felt my heart throbbing in pain. Ignoring my family means aching my heart too. I also don't want to treat them like this. I don't want to. I even want to have a complete family, that's what I aims. That's all I hold on to.

Ever since I made my choice to live here again, it was always the hope that made me stronger. The hope that my family will be back the way it is, where we are still happy together.

I didn’t want it to be like this. In the first place, my reasons to why I escaped this family was because of them. But I know, it was a mistake, and I want to correct that. Now, I don't know how to do that anymore. It feels strange to me that my motivation to give our family a chance to go back like it was to be, were already fading.

The only chance where I want to have a happy family was instantly losing on its grip. And I think, I don't have enough strength to pull that on my own.

But I still want to try again. I don't want to give up easily. I won't give a grudge to them that fast because of their decision to arranged marriage me with the second son of the Madrigal's. I have a hunch that other than the bankruptcy of our company, there's also another reason to that. My dad won't just simply decide on that serious situation without my consent. I still trust him to that.

And I'm willing to take the risk for our family to be complete again.

***

The next morning, I wear my usual attire whenever I'm going somewhere. It was a different day today. I want to unwind from the past happenings. I just want to get out of this house. It's been days since I last go outside. It was the time when I am with my friends.

I saw my father and brother on the dining table. They were discussing some things, on my thought, were about business again. My father was facing my direction so he was the one who noticed me first.

I approached them and immediately gave them a smile. I will asked permission.

"Good morning, dad and Jack."

My older brother also looked at me and immediately frowned at me when he give me a look.

"Where are you going, Jane?" he asked.

“To my friend, Jack. Will just visit them. ”

“You didn't—”

"Go ahead, Jane." It was dad who interrupted him. Jack looked disbelief on what my dad just said, even me.

"Ah, thanks dad." I just nodded. I went to their side and kiss their cheeks. I went outside and took a cab. A few minutes later I immediately reached my destination.

I'm more used on commuting because I've been doing that before. I learned more to be independent in life with Grandma Flores.

I am with Chelsea today. We're in their house here in Panabo City. She said it was the house of her mother's parents. She often visits here. When I called her earlier, she immediately told me that she was not at their house now. That's why I came here. It was a half hour trip going here. I would rather travel alone than to be accompanied by our driver, Paul.

“Jane. Drink first.” She set down the tray with the juice she had prepared on the table in front of me. We were in their garden while her grandparents were inside and resting. They had small tables made of wood and placed near the trees. It's not too hot because it shelters us.

"Thank you, Chels." I smiled and handed her the drink she had brought.

“I'll take you around here later. The air is so fresh here, Jane. We are a bit far from civilization. ”

Indeed. Their house is surrounded by trees. This is almost all that can be seen except for their house with a floor. The house has a Filipino classic design but it still looks good.

“How are you, Jane? You haven't been online with your accounts for a few days.” she asked then take her seat beside me.

I smiled at the question. It feels strange to hear this question from someone except for yourself. I feel, they care. It just makes me happy to know that they care just because of that simple phrase they've asked.

"It's okay, it's a bit busy." I smiled to her.

“How busy are you? There are no school works though.”

"Family problems."

"Is it fixed already?" She worried questioned.

That made me silent.

“I think so,” I said and sipped first in my drinks. "I'm trying."

“Why? Did something happen?"

“My family doesn't have time for each other. They always focused with the our business. That even at simple dinner, they can't give their time. I know, it's just a simple thing, but always? I can't do it anymore. ” I stopped from uttering the words.

Silence interrupted and no one dared to talk for a while. Maybe it was the time for me to absorbed it.

I looked down on my hands, holding the glass of juice. It was shaking because of what I've told Chelsea. She's the first one I've told the situation about my family. Ethan at the other hand, knew it before I even tell it to them.

"Have you told them what you want to say?" Cheska asked softly. I didn't look at her and just simply sighed.

"Yes, the first time was I think, two or maybe three years ago, when I was on my second year of high school and second time was I told them recently about it again."

“Did you try to understand them Jane? Maybe they're doing this for your own good, for you to have a perfect life. ”

That also crossed my mind. That's one of the reasons I'm pulling. My family, especially my parents are working for our future. But the thing that I can't understand, is that they don't have enough time to bond with us even though how much busy they are.

"Of course," I laughed. “That's the reason I'm pulling, but that reason wasn't enough. I still felt unwanted because of that reason that made me run away from them. ”

I slowly looked at her. She has those unidentified emotions on her eyes. She looked teary eyed. I frowned at his reaction.

"Is that the reason why you run away?" She asked.

“Yes. I had a reason and I learned that thing. But I have never regretted what I did that at that time. I may have been too young then but I have learned a lot in the past year.”

“It’s good to hear, Jane. But all I can advise you is, give your family a chance. I think they have their reasons too. Try to put yourself on their shoes. ”

"I think about it." I smiled back at her.

It's nice to hear it from a friend like Chelsea. She's always ready to hear my problems without judgments. And she's willing to give advice. Because of her, and also to our friends, the trust issues that I've been carrying are already breaking. Maybe, finally, I can trust others again just like how much I trust my friends that I met a few months ago.

"Ah, Jane." She calls me. She adjusted her glasses for a moment before she looked at me.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know where Cheska is?"

I was momentarily taken aback by her question. Even Chelsea doesn't know about her? She was like Cheska's closest friend among the rest of us. Why doesn't she know?

I was about to tell her about it when someone interrupted us.

"Couz!"

I could barely move when I heard his voice. Those medium-pitch voice she's always have. It was like a nightmare for me to hear that voice.

I didn't look at her. I was still facing as Chelsea in turn stood up to greet the newcomer. I can't looked back to her. Not now, please.

"DM!"

And what did she called Chelsea? Couz?

“Gosh! I miss you, couz! ” I heard her. "Who's that girl?"

“Oh, Jane, she's my friend." introduced Chelsea. There I slowly stood up and looked back at their direction. The smile on the woman's lips almost disappeared when I met her. She looks shocked that I didn't expected.

“Desiree…” I whispered.

Her white-skin color cheeks turned pale as if she had seen a ghost. Her mouth was still swany open and she slowly approached me. I want to get away from this place but I seem to be stay to where I stand.

"J-jane."