Chapter 121: Chapter 121
The rain was now pouring down as heavily as though large drums of water were being poured down endlessly from the skies without any respite. No other car was on the road, except for Sebastian's, probably because of the heavy downpour. The angry downpour and storm matched Sebastian's mood perfectly. He drove around the cold, gloomy-looking city with angry recklessness, not having any particular destination in mind, but his anger was directed at himself. He was feeling like a piece of shit, and also like the world's biggest jerk because of the way he had talked to Carol before leaving the house. He had not even bothered to hear her own side of the story but had gone off at her, pouring his anger, frustration, aggression, and guilt on her, when she did not deserve it in the least bit.
Carol was one of the nicest people he knew, and deep in his heart, he knew that there was no way that she would have done what he was accusing her of, but he had needed a channel for the guilt that he had been burying ever since his uncle had died, and she had been the closest person to him at that time. Not only that, but she had brought up a controversial topic that had been the perfect outlet for his anger. His uncle would be buried the following afternoon, and so Sebastian would have to say his final goodbye to him. The sense of finality was not something that he wanted to dwell on at all.
Even though nobody seemed to blame him all that much, Sebastian could not stop blaming himself for doubting his uncle, the man he loved most in the world, especially in the condition his uncle was in. He had accused the man of something so horrible that he could have as well have been the one who had injected the stuff that had killed his uncle into the man's body, not Charlotte. Now, the man was gone and he would never be able to ask for his forgiveness. He wondered how he was going to hold up tomorrow at the funeral. How he would look at his uncle's unmoving body for the last time, knowing that the man had died with the knowledge that Sebastian did not trust him and that he would think that he would do something so evil.
The guilt in him was so much that Sebastian did not even know when he parked his car by the side of the road, got down from it into the heavy downpour, and begin to kick at the tire of his vehicle and pound on the bonnet of the innocent car with his fists. He got totally drenched in a matter of seconds, his hair becoming plastered to his head as he kept pounding on his car bonnet until there were faint dents in it and his hand ached. By this time, he had worn himself out with exertion and was so drained of energy that he sat on the flooded ground beside his car and finally, for the first time since his uncle died, wept bitterly.
He stayed there in the pouring rain and under the loud thunder and brightly flashing lightning for a long, long time, silently asking for his uncle's forgiveness. It felt as though he was all alone in the world and every other human on the planet had somehow disappeared. He hoped that Charlotte would rot in jail for the rest of her life, and resolved that he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that she remained there and never came out to hurt or kill anyone again. After he had spent himself crying, he felt much better and knew immediately what he had to do. Standing up from the floor, he got back into the car, knowing that he was going to ruin its interior because he was soaked from head to toe and was dripping water, but that was not a problem at all.
Turning on the heat in the car to warm himself up a bit as his teeth were already chattering, he brought out his phone so that he could place a call to Carol to apologize for all the horrible accusations that he had laid against her, but could not find it in his pocket where he had kept it. He searched the car, but still did not find it, so he got out of the car again and searched around where he had been sitting in the rain. After a little while of searching, he finally found it submerged inside a small flood of water. It did not come on even though it was water-resistant, so he knew that it had spent too long inside water.
"Fuck!" Sebastian yelled angrily. Everything seemed to be going against him today, and he would be damned if he knew why. He angrily flung the phone away as far as he could, so that it landed against the asphalt with a satisfying crack and then he got back into the car. He would make one quick stop and then he would rush back home to grovel at Carol's feet to beg her to forgive him for being such an idiot. Once she accepted his apology, which he had no doubt that she would do, he would ask her to marry him, properly this time around and with her father's blessing, and then they would raise their child together, maybe even have other children if Carol wanted them, and then they would grow old together.
His child. The thought of it made him smile now that he had poured out his grief. He wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. It didn't matter, as either one was fine by him, but he had to admit that he would love to see a mini Carol, who maybe had his hair and eyes, but looked a lot like Carol. If only he could reach her, but there was no way to do that, not with his phone lying submerged inside water and dead.
He started the car and made his way to the hospital where Jessica had been admitted overnight. She was still there, and she looked up in surprise when he entered the brightly lit hospital room, looking like a half-drowned rat. The rain was letting up a bit, was still falling.
"Oh, my God! What happened to you, Sebastian?" She asked, looking him up and down, and then looking away uneasily, as though she could see what he had come to say in his eyes.
"Nothing. I just took a short walk in the rain, that's all."
"Oh. You do know that you could catch a cold though, don't you?"
"Jessica. I need to talk to you." Sebastian said, knowing that she was purposely rambling to distract him from what he wanted to say.
"Okay. What's up?"
"I'm sorry, Jessica, but I'm not going to do what you want. We're not going to end up together as you think, or as I thought before. I don't love you that way anymore, and it's going to be unfair to you if I don't say it right now." He told her, feeling very bad as her blue eyes welled with tears and she shook her head in denial.
"No, Sebastian. Please, don't do this. I know you think you're in love with Carol, but the feelings are going to fade once your marriage is over. You'll see. Don't throw the possibility of us being together down the drain just like that. I still love you very much and you're the only person I will ever love." She cried, clutching his hand in desperation.
"I'm really sorry, Jessica, but my heart is with Carol, and I can't even imagine her leaving me, or having to leave her."
"But...but I love you, Sebastian. You said you did not hold a grudge against me for the things I did..."
"And I don't, Jessica, but I have to set the record straight. You and I are not meant for each other, and I want you to please accept that. Also, I'll have your things moved over to the best hotel in the city, and will pay the bills for you for as long as you want to stay there. The Manhattan house is all yours if you want it, or if you prefer any other house anywhere at all, let me know and I'll purchase it for you. I'm really sorry, but I have to take your name off the deed of my house. I hope you understand."
Jessica began to cry in earnest at this. "You're trying to cut me off totally." She accused.
"No, Jessica. I'm going to give you enough money to settle you for life. Even if you decide not to work again, you don't have to worry about starting afresh if you don't want to. You're a beautiful and nice woman, and I'm sure you'll find the perfect man for you." He finished.
"You bastard! You arrogant bastard! After everything I went through for you? This is how you're going to dump me because of that ugly girl in your house?" Jessica screeched at Sebastian, but he stood up, feeling as though a heavyweight had been lifted from off his shoulders.
"Goodbye, Jessica." He said as he strolled out of her room. He needed to talk with Carol and ask for her forgiveness.