Chapter 141: Chapter 141

Monster!

Deviant!

Freak!

The names kept on calling after her even when she ran as fast as she could, her legs carrying to an unknown destination, she didn’t know why she ran away, or why did she obey the mocking voice inside her head, even when she knew it wasn’t a friendly one nor did it wish her any good, all she knew was that she was standing out in the open streets, but felt as if the walls of the shack were enclosing on her once again, with nothing but the bitter painful reality suffocating her.

Sara knew that the moment of reality would come sooner or later, the time when her cover would be exposed and the ones she cared for would know her reality, her lie, however, it was something she avoided thinking about, hoping that she wouldn’t be there in the first place to witness it, and for it to happen so soon, and in such a way when she didn’t even expect it or prepared her heart for the immense pain the revelation was going to cause her.

Why? When she finally thought that she finds somewhere to belong, when her heart was finally freed from the shackles of hatred, and when the love she thought was a lie returned stronger and more real, it all came crashing down in a single second, everything she built, everything she fought for, it all crashed down as if it was built with paper cards.

She didn’t know for how far she ran, but when her legs couldn’t carry her anymore and her shoulders could not carry all the pain of rejection she was feeling, she allowed herself to fall down on the grass, crying her heart out like she never did since the day her father died.

She kept on asking herself why? Why was she so condemned to know nothing but misery, why in each time she thought she found happiness it all turned out to be a bitter lie, she was almost sure of the feelings she saw in the people’s eyes, and somehow hoped, and reassured herself, that it was where her happiness was, but it was so fake, so frail and shallow that it all fall apart in a second, no one even tried to understand, no one tried to listen, no one thought that what she did was to protect them, if anything, they all judged her and showered her with hate and curses the moment a glimpse of her reality appeared on the surface.

What will they do if they knew the rest? If they knew she was the fourth child of the last king whose reputation was worse than the current one, what would they do when they learn that she was the daughter of the mistress the king abandoned his wife, the beloved queen, for her sake, how would they react when they know that her mother was a Goddess, the one that cursed the demons thousands of years ago and made them the monsters they are, and what would they leave of her when they would know that she wasn’t a half demoness as they thought, but a half Goddess, the abomination that abused them and made them live a lie where they were offered as meals to the demons.

They will never accept her, if anything, they would try to harm her, lock her in a cage like a dangerous predator or just kill her, but to listen and try to understand, it wasn’t anything she dared to dream of.

Sara tried to summon her Dahlia, the cold-hearted strong façade she created for herself but she was no longer there, the lie was gone, the wall was gone, and behind, the bare wounds that she kept hiding instead of healing were once again open, bleeding and painful, picking herself up again, she resumed walking, aimlessly, not knowing where to go, there was no where to go in the first place, except for the only home she ever knew.

As if her legs had a mind of their own, Sara found herself stepping closer of the only place her mind could think of, the only home she knew even when it never felt like one, and unlike all the times she stared at the abandoned shack from afar, she walked towards the door and pushed it open, the pain she was running away from was inside her.

“Father…I am back!” Sara whispered in a shaky voice as she stepped inside the shack, expecting to be met with the sight of her father and the queen’s dead bodies, but all that met her eyes was emptiness!

“Fa…Father?” Sara called again as she stepped inside the shack, her eyes running everywhere around it, but there was no sign of her father, even if he was nothing but bones, she needed him, she needed to feel that he was there, but he wasn’t, not the slightest trace of him.

“Father!” Sara felt her knees giving up on her once more, even her father’s remains were gone, nothing was left for her, not even the memories, only the pain was there, so intense, but before her body could collide with the ground, a pair of strong arms grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back towards warmth and safety.

“It is okay, my fair lady, I got you!” even before hearing the voices, Sara knew who it was, there was no one else in the world who would come after her and gather her in his arms the way he was, there was no one whose closeness affected her the way he did, and as she allowed the realization settling in her head, she felt the dams she was hiding her pain behind break all at once.

Eren didn’t know what caused Sara’s sudden outburst, all what he knew was that it was so painful to see her in such a state, crying out loud, sobbing and gasping, pressing her body, seeking shelter and warmth, it was painful to see her so broken and hurt, but at the same time, in a dark twisted way, he was relieved that her dams were finally breaking, that she was no longer ignoring her pain, that she was admitting it, feeling it, and giving it its share of tears and sorrow for it to vanish and heal instead of hide, it was about time to reach out for herself again, and he was glad he was the one she was letting herself shatter in front of before they both gather her pieces together.

It was fucked up, the way a small part of him was happy that his woman chose him to be the most vulnerable around, the shoulder to cry on and the person to hide with, but on another side, he didn’t trust anyone to keep her safe as he intended to, he didn’t trust them to quell her fears the way he would and give her the necessary care she needed and more the way he would, he didn’t trust anyone not to harm her when she was that weak and broken.

“Eren!” Sara buried herself deeper into his embrace, clinging to his presence with all her might, his arrival was the lifeline she needed to be saved from the depths of sorrow and loneliness she was feeling.

‘What if he thinks the same as well?’

‘What if he too sees you as a marred monster?’

‘What if he is going to leave you again?’

‘What if he can’t look past your ugly and disfigured face?’

‘What if he betrays you again?”

The voices whispered in Sara’s head when she was at last able to feel the slightest amount of calamity, causing her to panic once again and jerk away from the embrace that was making her feel so safe and contained, how did her sister’s voice follow her that far? the shivers returned more violently, threatening to scatter her barely held together self everywhere, she sobbed a bit more as she tried to make some distance between them, but the strong arms refused to let her go even then.

“Sara?” Eren noticed how her breath hitched in her throat and she shook her head at him, unable to talk, her words buried under the thick lump and her heart buried under the obvious fear and sadness her eyes carried, “Come here, love, tell me what is it!”

“No…just leave!” Sara tried to once again stand up and run away from the demon who hurt her before he did it again, but the furthest she moved the closer he approached, his shadows wrapping themselves around her, caging her, and distracting her from the voices and the pain it causes.

“Never! I will never leave, Sara!”

“Liar!” she sobbed again, her tears never stopping as she looked at him with pained and accusing eyes, “You will leave me, just like you did before! And just like the rest of them!”

“If you don’t want me to leave, my love, say it!” even though he wanted to assure her that he was going to stay by her side, that he loved her so much and that the thought of her was the very thing that fueled his life force, Eren chose to make her talk, her walls were crumbling around her, and he wanted her to reach out for his saving hand, he wanted her to admit the things she kept on neglecting, that she needed help, that she deserved life and love and assistance, that she too had weaknesses and sore spots and that it was all okay, for he was there with her, to pull her out, assist her, save her, love her, and cherish her.

“Say it, Sara!” she shook her head at him again, but he didn’t give up, not on her, he wasn’t going to leave anyway, but he didn’t want her to feel that broken ever again, she had to heal, and in order to do that, she had to let go of those defenses that were only caging her, the walls that only imprisoned her in darkness and loneliness. “Say it!”

The words that left her demon’s mouth were spoken softly and reassuringly, making her believe that he will not leave no matter what her answer was, and yet, they made her see the wall she kept standing, the one that she thought protected her heart but was in fact suffocating her.

How bad could it be? To allow herself to trust again? To open herself once more? To let someone in and have them tend to the wounds she couldn’t reach?

“S…stay!” while her voice was low and shaky, the way she moved closer to him was certain, she didn’t want to fight it anymore, nor to fight at all, she wanted to let go, of the pain, of the lie, of the fear, she wanted to let go of herself and his arms were there to hold her when she does, tightening around her like a second skin, wrapping her in warmth and reassurance and sheltering her from the cold and fear, and in his arms, she felt the safety and belonging only one place can provide.

Home.

Eren waited patiently as she cried her heart out in his chest, whispering soothing words in her ears while caressing her short hair, and when she was finally calm, her sobs fading to small hiccups, he carried her gently and got her out of the shack, she didn’t mind, she didn’t protest, she just allowed him to take care of her, her safety and warmth were with him, where ever he was, where ever he took her.

as she closed her eyes and allowed her heart to calm down while listening to his, Sara didn’t see the place Eren was taking her, not before she felt him place her on a soft surface and sit next her, one of his arms still wrapped around her.

“This…” Sara whispered the word as her eyes took in the familiar place before looking back at the red rubies that stared at her with love and reassurance, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“You loved it here, I thought you mind feel at ease if you rest here a little since you already know the place, but I do understand if you…”

“I want to stay…” her sore throat protected as she spoke the words hurriedly, nevertheless, she had to tell him that she actually liked his choice of place, the shack felt suffocating, and she wasn’t ready yet to go back to the shadows’ empire, but the small Salvatore estate she stayed in the first time she left the shack was a place that only held happy memories for her, even if it somehow reminded her of Geraldine, it was still the place she fell in love in.

“I am glad to hear that.” Eren smiled warmly at her before his eyes were clouded for a second, the estate was empty and didn’t have the necessary things for her to stay in, and therefore he mindlinked his servants to bring everything she needed while he tried to understand what happened to her.

“How are you now!”

“Much better, Thank you!” Sara hesitated a little before answering, she was feeling better and that was a fact, but the pain was still there and with it the realization that what happened was the truth, which reminded her of a crucial detail.

“My father!”

“Don’t fret, my fair lady!” Eren cast his eyes downwards, hiding the guilt in them, “When I returned from the center, I went directly to the shack, hoping that I would find you, but all I found was what I believed was your skeleton hugging that of the late king, the sight devastated me, yet at the same time, I couldn’t let you be like that, bare to the eyes, I wanted you to have the rest and peace you deserved, so I buried what I thought was your remains as well as your father’s, even though you kept on living in my heart and mind.”

“You did!” of course he did, Sara thought as more tears spilled out of her eyes, it was the one thing she regretted the most, her inability to return to the shack and honor her father with an appropriate burial, especially after her cove was revealed and no point was there of keeping the bodies, but she never found the strength to return, however, this man was always there to take care of her in ways she didn’t even knew existed.

“Do you want to go see him?”

“Maybe later!” she didn’t want to meet her father with a face stained with tears, she wanted to honor him, to apologize and to reassure him, where ever he was, that she was okay, even when she wasn’t, her father deserved to be in peace, and she didn’t want to disturb it.

“Alright then, do you want to talk?”

“I… I just want to know how did you find me?”

“Andrea mind linked me, she told me about your interaction and I came looking for you after it, I didn’t have to move much as your scent caught me the moment I stepped out of the dark forest.”

“Oh!” so he didn’t know what happened, Sara thought as her fists tightened and a weight settled again on her heart, but instead of hiding her pain from the man she knew was going to do everything he can to heal it, she exposed it, herself and her pain, it was a risk and she knew it, but the tiredness of bearing with it alone was greater than it.

“They learned the truth, Nara and the people, and…they didn’t take it lightly!”

“What did they say?”

“They…asked me to leave!” looking at her tired eyes, Eren knew that there was more, but her silence told him that she was consumed, and didn’t push her anymore, instead, he moved closer to her and pulled her into his embrace once again.

“Are you okay?”

“No!” Sara answered truthfully thins time, letting herself once again rest on his chest, it was strange, how it felt so right, and how his embrace felt so right, “Don’t leave me, Eren”