Chapter 54: Chapter 54

"I really wanted you two to work out."

Alice didn't want to believe Shannon was speaking to her but she was the only one in the room with her so it has to be her. She looked at Shannon through the mirror with a quizzical look.

Shannon smiled brightly and shook her head. "You and Max," she said briefly. "I never thought you'd not end up together, you know."

Alice lowered her gaze as she breathed out sharply. She raised her head and looked at Shannon again but she wasn't looking at her at the time. She was admiring herself in her weddings dress because she was getting married in half an hour. She was humming, slowly dancing while she twirled around.

Alice felt the smile wanting to escape her mouth—she lets it out. This is what she wishes for—to be happy about marrying the man waiting for her in the aisle. She hopes to be as happy as Shannon is right now or even more.

"What's it like to be in love? I mean really in love?"

Shannon looked at Alice. She turned around to face Shannon and leaned her waist against the dressing mirror.

Shannon smile grew wider. "It's sometimes when you expect it the least," she answered casually.

Alice folds her arms and tilts her head. "How so?"

Shannon walked over to her and leans against the dressing mirror beside her. Her dress wasn't as puffy and shiny as every bride's dress looks like. She kept it simple and comfy. Alice could see herself wearing the same thing. Even less.

"I wasn't looking for anything at all when I met Jim. Actually, I wasn't planning on falling for anyone so soon because you know why." She chuckled uneasily, reminiscing about Max's father.

Alice wrapped her arm around her shoulder for comfort. Shannon gave her an appreciative smile.

"Then I met Jim. And that was it...I guess things just happened. I found him and I found myself slowly wanting to spend time with him. It was simple. It was easy. And I think that's how the best relationships begin. You're not looking for anything and then suddenly you realize; you have something."

Alice looked ahead, latching on Shannon's sentence. In her case, she was looking for something and it was Aaron. It felt like nothing but then she realized she had Dominic all along—after she had broken up with him.

It's true when people say you'll never know what you've lost until you don't have it anymore. She had lost him and she doesn't know if he's ever going to come back to him. The feeling and thoughts of not being with Dominic has been draining her and driving her insane. It's hard to even think about it left alone accept the fact.

"Is it that tall, big man that's always with your father? What's his name again... Dominic, right?"

Alice turned her face towards Shannon without answering but her facial expression answers Shannon's question.

She holds Alice's hand that was around her shoulder. "He seems like a lovely boy."

Alice smiled not because of the comment but because of how she just referred to him as a boy. Dominic was around thirty three if she could remember. There's more than ten years gap between them but she loves it like that.

"Yeah, yeah he is."

"Do you love him?"

Alice chuckled because it was obvious she was. He's literally the reason why she was back home. He's the reason why's he's standing here asking questions about love. He's the reason she's questioning her life choices. He's the reason she's literally doing anything.

How did he become such a big part of her life?

"More than you could ever imagine. And the weirdest part is that, I hated him... so much. I even wished death upon him. But now... now he's the only thing I can think of. I just wish he knew how sorry I am for messing things up." Alice slumped her head on Shannon's shoulder. Shannon wraps her arms around Alice's petite body. "You'll be alright. Things will fall back into places. Just don't give up if he's worth the headache." She kissed the top of her head and rests her head against hers.

Alice chuckled. "He truly is."

The door swings open before she could clasp her lips. It was Max. He sends them a questioning look. "Ready?" He asked, raising a brow at them.

Shannon grins and nodded. "Let's go get me married," she sang happily.

They all moved to the living room before Alice announced the bride was ready.

Shannon asked Max to walk her down the Aisle a week to the wedding. He was skeptical about it at first. It felt so wrong—it felt as though they weren't being fair to his father. But he knew it was the right thing to do and his father would be proud of him today.

Max offered his arm and she smiled, circling her arms around it. She lets out a shaky breath and murmured under her breath.

"You're going to be fine," Max said supportively. She looks up at him and all she could see was his father. He looked so much like his father and for one second, she felt like calling it off for Max. But she's happy—Jim makes her happy. And she knew Max wouldn't want to see her unhappy. Max also wants to see her happy and that's what she's going to do. She's going to marry Jim and be happy for the rest of her life though she doesn't know if she'd get the gift that Max's father gave her.

"You're the best gift your father had ever given me," she mouthed, looking at him proudly. "I'm so proud of what you've become, Max. And I hope you'll find someone that makes you happy just like Jim makes me happy."

Max swallowed her and blinked his eyes, covering his vast of emotions with a smile. He nodded to her and kissed her cheek. "You make a beautiful bride, mom."

Her throat was burning with buckled tears. She wrapped her arms around his torso and held him close. "I love you, Max."

"I love you, mom."

They stood that way for a couple of minutes until Alice walked in to let them know everything was set.

She smiled at sight and gave them the moment to sulk up everything and restrain themselves.

"Ready?" She asked and they nodded. She opened the front door wide enough for them and they walked out the door.

Shannon took a deep breath upon spotting Jim at the aisle, waiting for her. "Here goes nothing."

**

Into the night, the ashen night, of a billion stars both exploded and living, into the serendipity of duality that is their shared existence, is both futility and eternal hope, the road that belongs to immortals.

She hugs herself as a sigh escapes her lips. The stares straight at the water fountain. As though if she blinked, it would disappear. It's actually because she was deep in her thoughts and doesn't even know exactly what was happening around her.

She's been standing here for about ten minutes. They wedding was over an hour ago but she didn't feel the need to rest.

Dominic came a little later after the ceremony and it just made her feel awkward. Seeing him and not being with him is the hardest thing for her at the moment. Worst part is, everyone keep reassuring her he'd come back but it doesn't feel like he will.

Perhaps he will because now he's standing beside her. She took her glimpse at him. His beautiful face was glowing under the stars and half moon. He had this relaxed expression that Alice would kill to have that kind of look. He's so good at hiding his emotions and it kills her to not know what goes on his mind. Maybe he's thinking of them... maybe not.

He shoves his hands in his suit pocket and sighed. That's when she noticed he'd shaved his beard. He still looked good even without the facial hair.

"New look?" She spoke, returning her gaze to the fountain. He doesn't answer her at all. He's just standing there as though she wasn't there. She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes—it wasn't as if she was the one that met him here. He came to her first.

"You were right about the water fountain," he finally said. He still didn't answer her question and she knew he won't. She lets it go.

She also doesn't answer him. She kept her eyes straight even though it's hard not to just turn around and look at him. His cologne wasn't helping matters. Every time she inhales it, it sends butterflies to her stomach. So, whenever she inhales, she makes sure she takes a long inhale of it.

He took a step forward and stood in front of her, blocking her sight of the fountain. She kind of like this view more. It's more beautiful and it send butterflies to her stomach.

He was looking down at her, his brows were a little bit furrowed—as if he was focusing on something. That something was her lips. He wanted to kiss her but he wasn't going to. He'd rather stand there and stare down at her than to risk having his heart broken again.

She looks up at him as she let out a shaky breath. It's too much for her, it's too intense to stand so close to him without having the thought of kissing him or throwing her arms around his neck. It's so hard to keep her hands to herself whenever she's around him.

"Why were you with Aaron the other evening?" He asked plainly.

There was a stinging pain in her chest but she ignores it. She wanted to tell him it's none of his business but the urge to tell him the truth overweights it.

"I didn't plan to meet him. He just showed up out of the blue."

"Are you with him now?"

"No."

His releasing the agonizing breath he'd been holding since he started asking her.

He looks away and set his eyes to his side. She could see the cut in his chin. He must've gotten it while shaving. She stretches her hand out to touch. His jaw tenses when her fingers came in contact with his face. She brushed her fingers on his face for straight ten seconds and lowered her hand.

He looks at her again but his eyes had softened. They seemed like the ones that stares at her whenever she was blabbering about how her day went to him while he listens.

"I'm sorry... for everything. I messed up I know."

Five seconds—he doesn't say anything.

One minute...

Five minutes...

They stood there, staring at each other without saying a single word but their eyes said a million.

"I'm trying so hard to forget everything," he mumbled.

It's hard to understand what he just said. When he said everything, he meant everything? "You're trying to forget me?" Her eyes widened, her heart hammered against her chest.

He breathes out, letting his head fall between his shoulders as he brought his hand up to his waist.

He blows out a steady, controlled breath while raise his head to look at her. The look on his face sends pangs of guilt straight to her stomach.

"No, Alice. I'm trying to forget what you did to me because you fucked me up real bad. I had so much hope in us working out but you blew me away. You left me. You freaking stabbed me and now I don't know if the scare will ever go away. Why did you leave me? Why did you give up on me so easily? Why did you have to make me feel less than I already feel?"

She squeezes her eyes shut, because the confusion and pain in his voice are unbearable. She shakes her head. She shakes it because she doesn't know how to answer the questions that she doesn't even know the reason behind them.

"I'm sorry... I don't even have a reason for what I've done..." her voice was trembling so as her lips.

Everything was too much for her—his voice, his eyes, his face... his presence. She thought she could handle it. But she's hurting more because he's hurt. His pain causes more pain to her misery.

Her head darts down to the space between down. She could see her shoes and his shoes also facing each other. Her throat was burning with the buckled tears she was holding.

His shoes starts to back away and her heart drops to the ground. She briskly raised her head to see him walking away from her.

Like he always does.

**

She finally managaed to drag herself into the house. The living room was filled with the people that haven’t left yet. She managed to pass through them and into her room.

The moment she shuts her door close, a great tremor overtook her. She collapsed on the floor, dejected, swollen with emotions and realizations of her fate.

This was how she was going to end?

Love someone you’ve hurt but they maybe over you. They’re trying to get over you. They’re trying to at least forgive you but not forget what you did.

It hurts her. It causes pain to her and she doesn’t even know why she feels this intense energy towards him. Maybe he’s the first man to actually show her what true love is and how to never give up on your partner especially when they need you the most.

After several seconds, she managed to get on her feet and settled down on the edge of the bed. Her face felt terribly wet, as though she was standing in a blowing gale.

She breathes out, running her hands down her wet face. Her head hurts. Her eyes hurts. Her heart hurts even more.

Nothing if ever going to be right without Dominic. She had him at the tip of her hand but blew him away.

“Hey.”

She didn’t raise her head to look up but she was sure enough that it was her father.

She heard his footsteps coming towards her. He settled down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

She wrapped her arms around him with a sigh of relief but it wasn’t because she felt any better. It just felt good to have someone by your side. She was glad to have so many people around her to count on whenever she was down.

“It didn’t work out, huh?” He asked her.

She felt a stabbing pain in her throat. She swallowed it and nodded. “And it’s all my fault. He’s hurting so bad because of me.”

“No,” he said, rubbing her arm. “His wife died when he was least expecting her to leave him. He’s hurting because you left and it triggered that painful memory. He isn’t as tough as you think he is. He’s a softy and an over thinker. He needs constant reassurance. Sure he’s the most powerful werewolf in his pack but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need someone to keep assuring him that he’ll be fine and he deserves every happiness life could offer him.”

Alice eyes welled up with new set of tears. She didn’t want to cry anymore but it was hard for her to keep them buckled up. It hurts when she holds them. So, she lets them out.

“It’s okay, darling. He’s just going through a lot right now. He’ll come around, okay?”

She nods her head optimistically and pepping herself that it’s all going to be alright. Everything is going to fall in place.

“You’re going to be okay… even without him.”

She doesn’t like what he just said. But it’s true. Dominic has become a part of her and she’s never going to forget him. She’s always going to love the color of his eyes, and she’s always going to search for someone with the same contagious laugh. She’s never going to fully get over him. She’s going to have those nights when all the regret and pain comes rushing back. She’s going to miss him with all of her heart. But eventually, she’s going to be okay.

She swallowed the bitter truth. “Even without him.”