Chapter 35: Chapter 35

She walked through the gates as the enthusiasm overtook her. Her smile spread upon the sight of her home. She’d missed it—she’d missed everything and everyone. She can’t believe that she even misses her father after all the chaos they’ve been through.

“This is my home,” she says to Lily who was already exploring around.

Dominic promised to bring her but alas, he had a tight schedule he couldn’t escape. He asked her to reschedule her visitation but she refused. Lily offered to accompany her and she was delighted. He didn’t like the idea but Alice was strongheaded, more than he was.

“You guys have a cave? Not fair. I want to see the inside.” She remotely heads towards the cave Alice and her friends hang around in.

“Lily, focus! We’d go to the cave after I go see my mother. We’ll pick up Miley on the way.” She draws Lily by her hand and they head towards Alice’s house.

She picked up her pace, making Lily to protest of how fast she was walking but she couldn’t help it. She just couldn’t wait to see her mother and it accurately felt like she was walking backwards.

“I can’t wait for you to meet my mom and my friend Ryan,” Alice said joyfully as they walked toward the house.

She opens the door and let Lily in. Linda peaked her head from the kitchen when she heard them. “Alice.” She was smiling when her eyes settle on her daughter.

“Oh, mom.” Alice rushed over to her and engulfed her in a firm embrace. She couldn’t hold back the tears. She let them gush out—she doesn’t even know why she’s crying. Possibly just tears of joy and she had missed her home so much.

“You’re such a baby, Alice. Why are you crying now?” Linda asked, pinching her wet cheek.

Alice chuckled. “I just missed you. Where’s Ryan?”

Lily cleared her throat. It seems like Alice has forgotten about her. She gave her a tight lip smile when she turned her attention to her.

“Oh, sorry. Mom, this is Lily, Dominic’s sister. Lily, this is my mother, Linda.”

Linda was a hugger—she didn’t hesitate to extend her arms and engulf Lily in a welcoming hug. “Oh.” Lily was taken aback by the sudden hug but went with the flow.

“It’s lovely meeting you, Lily. And welcome to our home. I hope you’re loving it.”

She smiled and nodded. “It’s lovely meeting you too. And you have a lovely home,” Lily said.

Alice suppressed her smile as sauntered into the kitchen. Linda had just popped out fresh muffins out of the oven and set them on a plate to cool off.

They followed her in just as she took a bite. “Oh, God I’ve missed your baking,” She comments, closing her eyes and relishing the sweet taste of cocoa.

“Silly you. Ryan just headed out not long ago. He’s at the cave with Daniel and Miley. You haven’t even asked about your father, Alice.” Linda threw her a disenchanted look but she waves it off.

“We spoke on phone earlier. He’s with Dominic,” she retorted, shrugging it off. She grabs Lily’s hand and drew her toward the door.

“Where you going you? You just got here and you haven’t even eaten.”

“We’re going to catch up with Ryan and the rest. We’ll be back in an hour before lunch, I promise.” They were out before she could protest further.

“My mom would’ve hit your head with a wooden spoon if you decide to head out without eating,” Lily said as they head to the cave. “Your mom is so cool. And beautiful. You have her eyes and hair,” She added.

Alice chuckled and lock their arms together. “She’s the best.”

They met them in the cave, sitting in a circle while Daniel and Miley arguing about something definitely irrelevant. Ryan sat there, looking at both them without interrupting. His eyes dot to Alice and his face lights up. He immediately got to his feet which made the two hushed.

“Lily,” Miley squealed and rushed to hug her. Alice rolled her eyes and scoffed. She waves them off and went to hug Daniel.

“I’ve missed you even though I’m so mad at you for not visiting me,” she said and hugged him tighter for few seconds before shifting back.

Ryan cleared his throat, making Alice to glare at him. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. He knew why she was angry. He only visited her twice and he has been around for over two weeks.

“You should be,” she said pissed. He ignored her death glare and hugged her.

“I’ll come visit more often before leaving.” He patted her back and broke the hug.

She turned her attention to Lily and Miley that were already catching up on the blathers they’ve missed. “I wouldn’t have brought her if I knew she was going to steal you away from me,” Alice said, feigning hurt.

Miley laughed heartily. “Oh, Alice,” she said, throwing her hands around her. “You are so dramatic.”

They spent an hour at the cave before they all moved to Alice’s house to have lunch together.

Linda served them all and they sat together on the table. Despite how she’d kept emphasizing on eating their meal first before talking, they wittingly ignored that and went on to converse and laugh until Daniel choked.

“You see, I told you to keep shut and eat first before these shenanigans.” She briskly got to her feet and helped him. Alice sank in her seat, muffling her laughter while she shared looks with Miley and Lily.

It has been so long she spent time with all of her friends without knowing how much she’d missed it, because there was always pleasure and delight in the air whenever they were around. It literally took her away from her miserable part of her life. It made her forget about Aaron for a minute. It made her worry less that he’d show up at her home and plead with her or make things clear and break up with her officially. She was afraid of the both—afraid that he’d come and ask her back or entirely end things. She doesn’t want both but deep down, she wanted him back. She felt guilty for feeling that way but there’s something about him no one would ever understand. Else, why would she be still crying over him after so long? Why would she be grieving over not being with him despite how she gets treated so well from Dominic.

It's not entirely how she planned on being a Luna. She didn’t want to be a vulnerable Luna or a stay-at-home Luna but she could work with this. Because she knew how protective and careful Dominic was—she’d not expect him to let her join him hunt or go out and fight whenever there was a combat.

The front door opens and Linda peaked. She smiled and head to the door. Alice knew it was her father before she could smell him from where she was seated. She could hear his voice clearly from where she was. She clenched her stomach as it roiled with giddiness. The nervousness of seeing him instantly attacks her and she doesn’t even know why she was nervous. Maybe because she was still discomfited by how she rejected Dominic and swore to never be with him but ends up moving into his pack without even being forced to. She really didn’t plan that to happen. If Aaron put on a slight effort, maybe her life would’ve been a little different.

He walks into the dining room and their eyes instantly locked. He smiled at her and she didn’t have much choice but to offer it back. Everything was stroppy for her but he didn’t seem to care.

“Hey, dad,” she said gawkily.

He raises his brows in shudder. “Aren’t you going to hug your old man?” He said and she could literally see the slight changes in him. He had eye bags and he looked older than his age. Or he was just tired because it’s evident on his face that he hasn’t been sleeping so much.

She got to her feet and hugged him. She sighed at how she didn’t expect to enjoy this moment. “It’s really good to see you, Kiddo,” he said, patting her back.

Linda cleared her throat, making everyone to go back to what they were doing and not stare at them. Alice pulled away and looked up at him. He had a full beard that wasn’t neatly kept. “You need a haircut,” she says, pulling his beard.

He laughed softly and shook his head. “I’m working on it,” he said as they settled on the table together.

**

Alice doesn’t want to believe him. She doesn’t believe what her father had just told her but she knew he’d never lie to her. He’d not lie to her for attention or any reason. He’s always honest to her and says the truth whether it’d hurt her or not. This was one of those truth that’d hurt her.

She ran her fingers through her hair and clenched it. “No, he didn’t do that. He wasn’t the one that vandalize my home. It’s not true, right mom?” She looks over to her mother and the look on her face says it all.

“I thought Dominic told you Aaron was the one that broke in with some other unknown men and destroyed our farms. That boy is good for nothing. I’m glad you didn’t end up with him.” Fredrick shakes his head in distress.

Alice stared at the blank space. She doesn’t even know how to digest this news in her head. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to overthink anything but she was hell of mad at the both of them. She’s mad at Dominic for not telling her the truth and she’s mad at Aaron for what he did just to get her attention. Well, he just did because now she’s going to be thinking of this for the rest of the evening.

“He did twice, you said?” She asked, looking over to her father.

He shoulder-shrugged. “I honestly don’t know why he did it. We’ve visited his house, turns out he has moved out but we’re working on locating him. He has to pay for everything he’s done.” He sounded angry and was ready to take matters in his hand.

“Are you going to kill him?” She asked, her voice was weak. She wanted to cry but doesn’t have a reason to.

“If he doesn’t cooperate…”

“Fredrick,” Linda called out in a warning tone.

He sighs. “No, we just want to talk and get him to stay out of our territory.”

Lily peaked her head. “Uh… I’m sorry to interrupt you guys but Alice, we have to get going,” she said, looking at her. Alice nodded her head and force herself up from the couch.

Her mother got up also and embrace her in a hug. “I’m going to miss you, my baby. Visit us again soon, okay?”

Alice forced a smile and nodded. Linda’s brows grew together with concern. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” She cups her face in her palms.

Alice smiled again and nod. She was afraid if she spoke out, she’d cry. “I’ll be fine.” It was the only thing she could manage to say.

She bid everyone goodbye and left together with Lily.

“Dominic has been calling me nonstop because he couldn’t get a hold of you,” Lily said on their way out.

Alice didn’t feel like replying at first. But she knew Lily would urge her no matter how she’d try to ignore her. Talking about Dominic right now is the last thing Alice wanted. But she can’t prevent that when Lily is around. “I left my phone at home.” She didn’t say anything after that and Lily didn’t push her. She must’ve sensed Alice wasn’t in a good mood.

“You can talk to me about anything you know.”

Alice shakes her head as she lets out a heavy sigh. “I know, Lily. I’m glad I have you.”

Lily smiled appreciatively. “And my brother,” she said nudging her shoulder.

Alice scoffed, rolling her eyes as she walked ahead. One thing she hates is complaining about Dominic to his sister. She has making him look like a bad guy or maybe she doesn’t want to sound ungrateful for everything he does for her.

He should’ve told her Aaron was the one vandalizing Scuris pack. She shouldn’t find out from her father. Did he think that she’d overreact? Or she still cares about Aaron? Maybe yes but it wasn’t enough reason to hide that from her. She felt left out—she felt like he was hiding more secrets from her, because whenever he receives a text, it’s always something negative and he instantly hides it from her and claims that he doesn’t want to worry her. Not telling her anything is more worse than telling her.

She worries too much especially not having an idea of why she’s worried.

The figure in front of her puts her to stop and look up. Her heart and stomach dropped to the floor when their eyes locked. He smiled at her, almost afraid to approach her. She saw the way he took careful steps.

“No,” she mumbled, shaking her head as she took steps back.

“Alice, please. I am begging you to listen to me,” Aaron pleaded as he halt to his spot.

She shakes her head continuous as she swallowed a painful lump. Heart was beating in her throat and her legs went weak. She couldn’t even move backwards anymore.

She feels Lily’s hand grasps hers as she cautiously drew her away. “C’mon, we have to leave,” She whispered to Alice but she didn’t budge.

“No, I need to talk to her first. Alice, please listen to me. I’m so sorry for everything. Please don’t leave without listening to what I have to say…”

“Where were you when I was fucking begging you to love me? Where were you when I was grieving over you? Now you want me to listen to your lies?” The words left her mouth. She couldn’t hold it even if she tried to. She never knew how angry she was with him until now that he’s in front of her. What he did couple of days ago just added gasoline to the blazing fire.

He winces and massaged the back of his neck. “Could you please give us a minute?” He was looking at Lily that had been glaring at him since she comprehended who he was.

“You’re that idiot that dumped her, huh? What the fuck do you want from her again? She’s with my brother now, she doesn’t need your ass.” Lily threw the words at him and she was satisfied to see that her words hurt him when he closed his eyes tightly.

“It’s okay, Lily. I’ll catch up with you in a bit,” Alice said. She squeezed her hand with assurance. She hesitates but nod her head.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” she says and gave them space.

Aaron lets out rush of air as if Lily’s presence was a suffocation.

“You heard her, you have nine minutes.” She folds her arms over her chest despite not ready for this ball of argument they were about to have.

She watches as he swallowed her and exhaled a lot of air. He’s really nervous—she could tell by his gloomy eyes and shaky fingers. His eyes were on her face, watching her expression, hoping it would soften but it didn’t.

He got on one knee and it made her heart to skip a beat.

Was he about to propose?

“Alice…” his halts, lowering his head and shaking it like he has forgotten his lines. He breathes out again before raising his head to look at her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you so many times, I wasted your love as if it were dimes. I’m sorry I told you things that are untrue and never paid attention to those heartbroken cries. I’m sorry I never talked things out, but instead I would push you away and ghost you. It’s true, I don’t deserve you, I’ve realized what I’ve lost and I’m sorry for what my action costs. I want to change now for the best. So, someday I can stand out among the rest. I’m sorry I never understood the way you cared but now life without you makes me scared. I’m sorry for never being there when you needed me and breaking your heart without making sound. I hope I still have a chance with you even though it feels like such a long way away.”

Her heart was hammering against her chest when he said all that. His words were dribbling into her body and making her dumbstruck and frail.

Aaron was a man of many words but never a man of his word. It’s really hard to believe whether he meant what he said or not. He could be telling the truth, he could not be telling the truth. He’s so impulsive.

Her heart was already believing his words but her mind was skeptical because it only takes one bad memory to put her in her place. He caused her so much pain and she want to hate him so badly, but she can’t forget about all the times he made her feel as though she was made of sunshine. It always overweighs the bad memories they had together. It’s the one thing that was holding her back from moving on.

“I…” She felt a blockage in her throat—it was hard to breathe with so much pain blocking her throat. She hung her head up but the tears rolled down her temple anyways. She pressed her lips together to avoid screaming out the pain she was feeling. Everything was too much. From her father telling her what happened, to Dominic hiding the truth from her to Aaron now kneeling before her.

“I knew I loved you so much when I started making excuses for the way you hurt me.” Her voice sounded aggrieved, but when she made eye contact with him, that aggrieved sound was nothing equated to the chaos in her expression.

He got on his foot and dusted his pants before taking slow and careful steps towards her. His finger was still trembling and his eyes were the shade of red.

Her heart was beating erratically because she has no idea what he’s about to do.

She shakes her head and he knew better than to pause. He shoves his hands in his pocket as he kicks the air gently. He was trying so hard to keep himself from touching her. He wanted to feel her against his body, she wanted that too but now was a bad time to do that. She’s too angry and broken to do that. It hurts to be broken. But it hurts more when you’re still in love with the person who broke you.

“I’ve hurt you… a lot. I hurt myself by hurting you. I can’t imagine the past and what I have done. But all I can say is that I won’t do the same mistake I have done no matter what happens next. I know my one mistake has everything. It has broken our relationship. Please come back to me, Alice. I can’t live without you. I will die. The moment we spent together gave me life and now that your gone, there is no reason for me to live. I will do anything it takes to have you back…”

“That includes breaking into my home and wrecking it?”

She could see his heart catch in his throat when she says that. He winces and turns away from her. She could see the deep breath he forces himself to take in order to calm down.

“I’m sorry I did that…”

“You’re sorry you did this, you’re sorry you did that… Aaron I’m sick and tired of your unkept apologizes. You keep making promises that you can’t even convince me let alone do it. I want to hate you, I so badly want to hate you but even after the shit you put me through, I’m still in love with you and I hate myself for still loving you. I still love you every second of every day and miss you beyond words. I’m not even mad at you for not giving a shit. I’m disgusted with myself for thinking you did.”

Being in love can be painful if you aren't sure that the love is mirrored the same way in the one you love. The pain comes from fear and the need to feel loved, nurtured and protected - as you wish to love, nurture and protect the one you love.

Aaron is exactly what painful love meant and yet she was still somehow clinging onto the monster because he always gives her a spark even when she has given him a whole candle of light.

He drops his gaze and she could see the regret slide all the way through him. He really has changed.

“I come to Umbris pack every single day just to see you ever since you moved there but I was never allowed to. He always claims that you’ve moved on and you don’t want to see me. I know he’s lying because what we have is something strong and cannot be broken so easily. He has threatened me, threatened my family if I don’t stay away from you. I lost my job because of him. My parents found out the truth and I left home. I want to leave town but you’re the only reason why I’m still here. I know I’m in danger because your father and Dominic are after me—I don’t care about all that. All I want is you. I want to be with you, I want to spend the rest of my chaotic life with you because you make everything beautiful.”

A huge wave of anxiety and fear rolls over her so intensely, she’s scared that she might pass out right in front of him. It didn’t scare her that much because she knew he’d catch her before her body hits the ground.

Just when she thought Dominic was really trust worthy… just when she thought she might have a chance in falling in love again… just almost when she thought she was having a happy ending.

She heard the faint footsteps coming toward them and she knew it has been ten minutes or even more because it felt like forever having this suffocating conversation with Aaron.

“Give me your phone,” she demands hurriedly. He gives her a quizzical look but did as she told him when she insisted.

She dialled her number and gave the phone back to him. “This is my number. Text me only. Don’t call until I ask you to. And don’t think giving you my number means we’re cool. I need time to think things through.”