Chapter 34: Chapter 34

There’s a sting in her head. There’re stings all over her body. She lifts her head off the pillow and sat up. She looked around the bed and heaved a sigh. She didn’t expect to wake up to an empty bed. She expected him to wait by the bed or just lay with her until she was awake. But instead, he left her alone. He left her to deal with the agony he caused. She lets out a rush of air—she was overthinking everything.

He might be making her breakfast. Or he went to freshen up, or he was waiting for her in the living room.

She gets off the bed and heads to the bathroom to have a shower. She relaxed under the water. The shower water, hot and ample, it’s by far her favourite part of her morning routines especially after a good night with your partner.

It was her first time. Dominic was her first and she didn’t expect it to be the way it went. She thought it was going to hurt like she’d heard her friends talk about it. Despite how rough they were last night, he made sure he went easy on her when he thrust in.

She bites down her lip and hung her head to let the water hit her face. The yearning feeling to take shower with him right now is belittled. She had daydreamed about taking a shower with Dominic and if she had to pick their next sex spot, she’d choose the shower.

She disregards the thought away and hopped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her chest.

She threw in a baggy t-shirt and jeans before she stepped out of the room. The house was awfully quiet. Everywhere had already been cleaned—she sometimes forgets they have a maid that do all the cleaning early in the morning and later in the evening.

She walked past the living room and sauntered into the kitchen. It was spotless and there wasn’t any sign of breakfast. Her face fall faster than her heart did. She wanted to explode with anger but suppressed it. Not until she checked everywhere in the house and made sure he wasn’t there.

Dominic wasn’t anywhere in the house. He must’ve left early in the morning. She didn’t want to be selfish but was there anything more important than her feelings?

He didn’t even leave her a text or a note. He just left her to deal with her own crap after they’ve had sex for the first time of being together.

She hugs herself as she settled down on the edge of the bed in his room. She looked around, his cologne hitting her nostrils and causing wooziness to her head.

She closed her eyes and rests her face in her palms. Just when she was finally accepting him as her mate without feeling sceptical about it, that’s when he decides to make her feel insecure.

She shouldn’t have trusted him so quickly. She shouldn’t have accepted him that easily. She shouldn’t have…

The thought of Aaron washed over her and she couldn’t control it, because Aaron would’ve stayed with her in bed the next day after doing it for the first time. Aaron would’ve made her breakfast and helped her take her bath. He would’ve helped her wear her clothes and kissed her head, and made sure she was okay.

She shakes her head off. She was disorganised.  So disorganised. She can’t even get her head in the game and stay with one man. She can’t even decide who she wants to be with. Or maybe she was just being too sensitive and demanding.

Isn’t he supposed to be there when she wakes up? Isn’t he the first thing she was supposed to see the moment she opens her eyes?

She thought that’s how it’s supposed to be.

It is how it’s supposed to be and she wasn’t even overreacting.

**

She checks her phone again and hostilely dropped it on the table with a low growl. It was the fifth time she had checked her phone for his text or call in the spam of five minutes. She hates that she was worried and wants him to text her despite how angry she was.

It’s already after noon—maybe she should stop bothering herself over it and move on. But it was too hard to do that because she loves the attention he’s gives her. It’s too hard to ignore Dominic while he’s ignoring you. It’s as if she wants him more at the moments he’s avoiding her. isn’t that toxic?

“That’s the sixth time you’re checking your phone in just three minutes. Are you expecting a call?” So, she miscalculated the number of times she’d checked her phone and the minutes.

She ignores Lily and continued with what she does best, making cupcakes. She knew the moment she opens her mouth to speak—she’d spill out everything she doesn’t want to do that. She doesn’t want Lily to know she had sex with her brother. She doesn’t want Lily to know that she’s addicted to her brother.

“Is it my brother again? It has to be my brother, because you no longer worry about that idiot ex-boyfriend of yours.” Lily walked across the room and stood at the other side of the cupcake table.

“Aaron is not an idiot. He’s just…” She halts, her eyes were focused on the batter she was mixing but her mind was now on how Aaron was slowly fading from her guts. She went from thinking about him the moment she wakes up to recalling him in related situation. She was glad about that—her worries were slowly running away.

“He’s just a cunt.” Lily cursed as she rolled her eyes. Alice raised her eyes to look at her.  “That an even worse insult, Lily.”

She shrugs it off. “He deserves it for what he had made you go through.”

“Thank you for your concern, Lily. But don’t curse him like that. I’m not even holding any grudges against what he did.” She meant what she just said, because she doesn’t feel the urge to hurt him the way he hurt her. She doesn’t feel the urge to curse him or throw stones into the lake while she said nasty things about him. She doesn’t even want to think about him.

“What did my brother do?” Lily leaned over the table and rests her elbows on it. “He’s such a jerk,” she said.

Alice snapped her head up. “Okay, Lily, I’m taking you to curse management class if they exist.”

She laughs heartily. “I’m just trying to make you feel better. You’re so boring, Miley would’ve agreed to curse him with me.” They’re just so much a like—it’s one of the reasons why the clicked so quickly.

“Well, it’s not helping. And your brother…” she moves over to the oven and shoved the batter in. She set the timer and went back to the table. “Your brother,” she says again, leaning over the table like Lily did.

“He’s just hard to describe and unpredictable.”

“Am I?”

They looked at the kitchen door and he was standing by it, looking at them. He shoots Alice an apologetical look and she immediately glanced away. He was holding a bouquet or lilies and a mystery box.

Lily cackled, nodding her head. “You must’ve fucked up really bad.”

He glares at her. “Get out.”

She folds her hand over her chest and waves off what he just said. “I’m not leaving until Alice ask me to.”

“Lily…”

“It’s okay, Lily. Give us some space,” Alice mouthed as she placed her hand on Lily’s shoulder.

Lily sends him a quick distrustful look before she heads for the door.

“Don’t think I don’t know about you sneak link with my pack warrior.”

She was taken aback by his sudden statement. She halts right beside him, her brows shooting up in accusation. She opened her mouth to speak but her words failed her. She couldn’t defend herself even if she tried to. She scoffs and pushed the double door open.

Alice wanted to laugh at the scene but stifled it when Dominic turned his attention back to her. He lets out a rush of out through his mouth before walking toward her. She hates how her body was responding to him with each step he took towards her. She furrowed her brows and fold her arms over her chest.

He gives her a sweet smile and knew she wasn’t going to stay mad at him for long.

She raised her head up to look at him because he was now standing in front her and he was insanely taller than her.

He watches her expression—it might be harder to convince her than he thought. She looked really angry. It made him question his entire existence.

What he did earlier this morning was unacceptable and he doesn’t blame her for being mad at him. She should be. It was her first time and he should’ve been together with her when she woke up. He’s even shocked to find out she was at the bakery. His tough combatant.

“I know you’re angry with me.”

Doesn’t it look obvious that she was? Or does she have to groove her brows more?

She doesn’t say anything to what he said.

“I’m sorry.”

She was still mute and still as a steel.

“Bought you chocolates and your favourite flowers.” He stretched his hand forward. She didn’t take the gifts. Instead, she raised a brow at him and he knew it was time to explain what he did.

He sighs and dropped the flower and box on the table. He gently gripped her shoulder. His eyes calmly searched hers. “You have every right to be angry with me.”

“Damn right I do, Dominic.” She cuts in. She had so much buckled in and she was ready to spill it out. “We freaking had sex for the first time and you knew you are my first but you left me. How could you? What was so important that you had to leave me?” She wasn’t just angry, she was hurt and he could hear it in her voice—he could see it in her eyes.

His brows grew long with concern. “I didn’t mean to…” He doesn’t want to tell her what happened. He doesn’t want to tell her that Scuris pack was attacked again and they left a really threatening message. They were going to attack Umbris pack next and they sounded so confident about it.

“Something really important came up,” He said and she scoffed, rolling her eyes. He cups her face and made her to look at him. “Do you trust me?”

She was silent. She only stared back at him without saying a word. She wanted to tell him yes, that she trusts him—she trusts him enough to let him have his way with her last night. She trusts him enough to leave her family to come live with him.

He pressed his lips against hers and kissed her lightly. She hates that he just did that because that simple physical gesture sends a stream through her, making it hard to stay angry without being too evident that she gets giddy around him.

He smiles at her movement. “I don’t want to get you too worried with my schedule,” he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“Did they attack Scuris pack again?” She shoots the question, making him to stiffen. She could read him like a book. His reaction was enough for her to know what the answer is. “Who’s doing this? Are my parents okay? Is everyone okay? I need to go see them please.” A huge wave of anxiety and fear rolls over her so intensely, she was scared she might blank out.

He looks down at her. He stroked his hand up and down her back, it forces her to relax. She loops her arms around his waist and rests her head on his chest.

“Everyone is okay. They just want something else.”

She buries her head in his chest and sniff in his cologne. This always works for her and it always calmed the storms in her.

He lifts her head and now she was looking at him. She squints her eyes, feeling light-headed over his cologne. She wasn’t steady yet when he lifted her head up.

“You’re important to me. I think if there’s anything that will last forever, it’s that. And I would sacrifice everything to protect you and keep you safe.”

She smiled appreciatively because his words a so believable. She believes that he’s capable of doing it without even saying it to her because he has done it. He has proven to her that she’s his top priority no matter the chaos.

The look in her eyes showed so much emotions—the kind he has been longing for. To seal the deal, he lowered his face to her level and kissed her. She inhaled into the kiss as she smiled. She puts her hands on either side of his face, and the room falls away. He has never gotten so lost in a kiss before, because this wasn’t just any kiss; this is a longing and loving kiss.

The space between them explodes. His heart keeps missing beats and his hands couldn’t bring her close enough to him. He tastes her and realize he’s been starving. He has loved before; it didn’t feel like this. He kissed before, but it didn’t burn him alive. Maybe it lasted a minute, and maybe it’s an hour. All he knew was that kiss, and how soft her skin was when it brushed against him, and even if he did not know it until now, he has been waiting for this mate forever.

**

He suggested they stay outside and stargaze in the backyard late at night. They were on a blanket and she was cradled up in his arms. They did nothing but face the sky and remember what they’re going through day to day is small compared to the vastness of the universe.

“Who knew stargazing could be so relaxing,” she says and sighs calmly.

“And romantic.” He added and held her cheeks in his hand. He planted a soft kiss on her lips. She bites her lips as she smiled. She loves how every time he gets the chance to kiss her, he takes it. No matter how quick it was. He always valued kissing her.

She looks up again and focused on the three stars. Two were so close to each other while the third one was slightly distant. It literally represented her situation—her, Dominic and Aaron. She was the star that was in the middle, close to the other star that represents Dominic and the distant star represents Aaron.

Or maybe Aaron is the one close to her and Dominic is the distant star? Or she was far away from the both of them?

She felt a pang of uneasiness in the midpoint of her chest.

She keeps telling herself that she doesn’t care anymore, but she still does. She keeps telling herself that she has moved on but she really hasn’t. She told herself not to ever get caught up again when she sees him, but she couldn’t help it. She had that insane thought of when he showed up and punched mate, they might have another shot. She felt that slight spark when she saw him.

She feels guilty for thinking of him this way. She feels so ungrateful because she was in the hands of a man that loves her so much and made her feel safe. When he holds her hands, it was like she was flying. When he kisses her face, she felt like she could fly. He made going into the deepest and darkest part of the woods feel like an adventure; with his hand on the small of her back. He laughed at things easily when he’s around her, he was soft, gentle, kind. He understood when she was quiet, when she was loud. He listened. He listened to her words, and he listened to her silence. "Come here," he would say, with his arms open wide, and she would go. He was everything and more a girl could ask for in a mate.

“You’re worried about something,” she heard him say. She looks up and try to smile but failed. She wanted to tell him she was okay and she was enjoying the moment. She really is enjoying the moment, but thoughts of Aaron rushing over her guts had suddenly ruined her mood. She doesn’t want to ruin the moos for Dominic also.

“I’m just thinking of home.”

He took his eyes off her and looked up. “I’ll take you there tomorrow,” he says but it sounded like he didn’t want to do that. He knew she wasn’t worried about home. She was worried about something else. “Is it him?” He just couldn’t hold it.

She could feel her heart catch in her throat when he asked that. She never expected Dominic to ever bring the topic of Aaron. He had never done that—they never speak of him. They’ve never spoken of him and loved that they didn’t. But she knew the time would come. The time has come and she can’t escape it.

“I don’t want to talk about him especially with you. I still feel hurt for the way he treated me and the way he made me treat you.”

She feels his hold around her tighten like someone was about to take her away from him. He breathes out calmly, his face was up, staring at the sky. Despite how dim it was, she could see the irritation washing over his face.

“I’m fine now, though,” she assures him. He nods his head because he needed her to say that.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

“No… I kinda did.”

He looks at her quizzically and she shrugs off the look.

“I don’t think I understand,” he says.

“I knew he was hurting me,” she continued. She freed herself from his hold and sat up. She needs to sit up for this talk. “I knew he wasn’t treating me right. I knew I deserved better… but I chased him anyways. Sometimes you love someone, you love them so much, that you let them hurt you. I wanted him to touch me, even if it made me bleed.”

He winces and turned his head away. She could see the deep breath he forces himself to take in order to remain calm.

She didn’t stop talking because she wanted to get everything out her chest. She wanted to be honest with him. “I wanted those seconds of happiness even if it meant a night of tear-stained pillows. In my gut, I knew it wasn't right, but I'd spend hours making excuses just to try to feel it was. I put myself second to put him first...and I thought...hey...maybe one day he'll do the same for me.”

There Dominic laid, looking at her in a way no one had ever looked at her. Her hands were already shaking with anxiety as she explained her knotted past. She would not always be easy to hold onto, for her heart is scattered with thorn. But Dominic made her feel better—he healed her and brought her to the light. He helped her find the end of the tunnel.

“It all doesn’t matter now, right? He’s in the past and we’re together now. Lily said he’s an idiot and she’s right. He is…”

He wanted to laugh at that but it was a serious situation. He sat up and extend his arms for her. A great tremor overtook her as she falls into his prolonged arms. He pulls her head towards his chest whole he stroking her head.

“I’m so sorry. I know you’re mad at me for talking about him this way. I just can’t…” She releases a gut-wrenching sob that tore through his chest. He rests his cheek on her head.

“I’m not mad at you, Alice. I love you and I’ll never let you feel that way again, okay? You’re safe now… you’re safe here with me.”

They laid back to their position before the chaos. She wrapped her arms around him as she slowly calmed herself. His embrace somehow to away her pain and misery.

She used to feel unspeakably lonely even when around her loved ones but Dominic changed that—he changed everything for her. He changed everything for good and she’d forever appreciate him even if they end up not working out.

He hears her exhale heavily and he looked down. He chuckled softly because It’s somewhat early and she’s fast asleep. It doesn’t bother him because he knew that there's been times she's laid awake at night unable to find sleep, no longer familiar with what it meant to find rest.

He ran his fingers through her hair & felt her thighs loosen, symbolic for how relax she’d become. Even when her days are chaotic, she always wants to be with him and he helps her find peace. This is love.