Chapter 32: Chapter 32

She dusted out the excess flour off her apron and pushed the oven close for the next badge. She loved to bake, especially with her mother and not being with her right now reminds her of home.

She also takes it as a distraction—she needs a distraction; from Dominic and Aaron. She didn’t want to be thinking of the both of them because it makes her head hurts and she hates how she gets flashbacks of what she doesn’t want to remember. She doesn’t want to remember how Dominic looked at her when he realized she still loves Aaron. She doesn’t want to remember how she went to apologize to him but made things worse. She doesn’t want to remember the look on Dominic face when he told her she was the last thing he wanted to see at the moment before shutting her off.

It's been eight days since it happened and it’s been eight days since she last spoke to him. She knew he was avoiding her when he wakes up early to leave the house and come back late in the night. She hears him when he leaves and when he comes back in the middle of the night.

It hurts her to remember how he makes a fuss about leaving her in the morning and how he makes the effort to come home to her before dark even when he wasn’t done with his tasks for the day. She always come first and she just blew that off because of a guy that she wasn’t sure of his intention towards her.

She sometimes feels the urge to go out there and find Aaron to clear things out. She wanted to know where she stands with him because he’s a great confusion. One minute he’d tell her he loves and the next, he’ll blow her off and it was tiring, and confusing to her.

She was tired of everything that has been going on around her. Because at this point it’s like she’s hanging on to a guy that may lastly shatter her heart rather than the guy that actually wants her. Or otherwise. She was not even so sure if Dominic still wants her. She was afraid he’d even come tell her to pack her things and leave. So, that’s why she volunteered to help his mother Katherine at her bakery every day for couple of hours to avoid clashing with him at home even though he wasn’t even home.

He stops by the bakery a couple of times but they’ve never came in contact because she was always at the back and he always stayed by the counter to see his mom or talk to his sister, Lily.

Whenever she hears his voice out front, it seeps through her body and causes more agony to her despair. She feels covetous that he isn’t here to see her and take her in his arms, kiss her. She hates that he isn’t here to tell her how much he has missed her and how he hates that she’s over working herself just for fun. She hates that he doesn’t bring home flowers to her, or get her, her favourite ice cream flavour or chocolates.

The oven dinged and she groans softly. She heads over to it and opened it. She couldn’t believe she’d zone out for that long. She was tired and restless—it wasn’t because of baking, it was because she has been pouncing her brain over the case of her two lovers. Or whatever they are.

She’d been baking for few hours and as the moments passed, tune by tune as the radio sang along, the piles of cookies, buns and breads grew. It was the same as mess, only the good sort she thought, the edible sort that makes people happy.

She dropped the plate of fresh cupcakes for Lily to frost it. Lily looked at her again and shook her head. Alice hadn’t talked much since she came into the bakery today.

Alice removed the gloves and went over to the dough table to knead the next badge.

“I think you should take things slow before you pass out,” Lily told her. She waved it off and continued with mixing the batter. If she stopped now, she’d have nothing but to think more of her problems and those thoughts wear her out more than baking.

Lily kept the icing syringe to look at her. She looks up when Lily breathes out loudly to get her attention. “Care to tell me what you have been upset about? I know it’s my brother, it has to be him.”

Alice furrowed her brows at the mention of his name. Her heart sank because she hates that they are really not talking and he hasn’t done anything about it.

“What makes you think that I’m upset about your brother?” She asked, focusing on making the next cupcake badge. She hates talking about Dominic with his sister because she is his sister and she’s not supposed to talk shit about him in front of his sister. Especially when his mom is just few steps away from the kitchen door.

“For starters, you’re working here every day. And he comes here before going to work just to eat muffins or cupcakes…”

“He comes here to have his breakfast before work, isn’t it obvious?” Alice wanted to end the conversation but it seems like Lily had just started because she just walked over to the kneading table to get a better look at her.

Alice raised her head and set her eyes on Lilys’. She had never notice how they have the same shape of eyes and colour of orbs. She had thick black brows like Dominic and also his thin jawline.

“Dominic has never come here to have his breakfast. He doesn’t even like cupcakes and muffins because he claims that it’d make him fat. He is here because of you.”

Alice wanted to smile at Lily’s last statement but suppressed it. She still wasn’t yet convinced to tell Lily what was going on between them. If only Miley was here…

“You can talk shit about my brother, I will support you even if you’re at fault. He is sometimes an asshole anyways.” She shrugs it off.

Alice gives her a pointed look before shaking her head and going back to what you’re doing. “We just had a silly fight, it’s nothing serious,” she said that to get Lily off her back but instead, she leaned over the table.

“About what? Having kids? Your wedding preparations? Oh, oh, or who gets the right side of the bed.”

Alice shoots her head up and gives Lily a quizzical look. “You love jumping into conclusions, don’t you?”

Lily grinned and shoulder-shrugged. “You said silly fight.”

“That is not what meant. We are just… figuring things out.” She didn’t want to lie to Lily and she didn’t want to tell her what’s happening because she doesn’t want her think how selfish she is after what her brother had done for her.

“Look, Alice,” she begins and took the bowl away from Alice and kept it aside. “I take you as one of my best friends…”

“Lily, you don’t have a best friend…”

“Shut up and let me have my moment.”

Alice chuckled for the first time in a while and she hates that she just broke out of character but Lily was too much to be taken seriously.

“I am lucky to call you my friend, Alice and whatever happened between you and my brother, please don’t break up, Okay? As much as I hate to say this… it’s been so, so long since we saw him this happy and it makes me… it makes his mother happy.”

Alice quirks her eyebrow and smirked when Lily just admitted that she does love her brother. It’s so unlike Lily to admit that about Dominic because they were like cat and dog—they’d literally have a war over the last piece of tacos.

“Don’t give me that look, I still don’t like him that much to sacrifice my kidney. I’d give you my kidney though, but not him.”

Peals of laughter burst from deep withing her. Lily smiled proudly. She was glad to see Alice finally smiling after days of inadvertently pursing her lips and furrowing her brows.

“My point is, if you leave this man, he’s dead. He’d die. So, whatever he has done… just, please punch him in his face and make it even.”

Alice smiled, appreciating her concern. “Actually, he should be the one doing the punching because it’s all my fault that we’re not talking.”

Lily sends her a quick distrustful look. “You’re not covering up for his crap, are you?”

Alice shakes her head quickly, “God, no I’m not. Call me selfish but I’m even pissed that it’s my fault that we aren’t talking. I’m more pissed because I tried making things right but ended up making it more worse and he may or may not hate me. He may or may not want me anymore.” Her shoulders slumped down same times her eyes brows lowered in woe.

Lily grabbed her cheeks with one hand to make her look up. “You apologized to him, right?” Alice nodded because she couldn’t talk as Lily was squeezing her cheeks together. “Then fuck him. He’ll come back looking for you, I know he will. Just sit and relax.” Lily lets go of her face and leaned back proudly.

Alice shakes her head, a smile completely enveloping her face. “You’re such a good friend and a bad sister at the same time.”

“It’s my job.” Lily took that comment as a completement.

The door opens and Katherine peeped her head into the kitchen. “Alice, there’s someone here that wants to see you. He says he’s a special visitor.” Katrine winked, making Alice to gasp faintly.

They both shared a look and her heart dropped to the wooden floor. Lily gave her an approval nod and she nodded back.

“I’ll be right there,” she responded, dusting her hands together. She releases a heavy sigh as she made her way out of the kitchen.

“Alice.”

She halts and set her eyes on Lily. “Yeah?”

“You’ve got flour all over your face and hair.” She gave her a teasing smile and take a bite of the cupcake she just frosted.

Alice rushed to the changing room and looked at herself in the mirror. She heaved a sigh; thankful Lily didn’t let her go out there looking like a buffoon. She washed off her face and fixed her hair before she briskly stepped out.

“The apron.” Lily reminded her.

“Right, right…” She pauses and untied it from the back. She confiscates it over her head and hanged it before walking towards the door.

The closer she got to the door, the more nervous she felt. Why did he just suddenly decide to come back after he had breakfast half an hour ago? Why did his mother just referred to him as a visitor when he could just walk back here and they could talk? Maybe he was worried she wouldn’t come out if his mother told her he was the one.

She takes few deep breathes and pushed the double door open. She spots Katherine by the counter, attending to a customer. She walked past them and head out to the tables. There were few customers in the room because it was past breakfast.

She looks around and he was the only male in the room. Her eyebrows shoot up with shock as she spotted him. His back was facing her and she could recognize that brown hair wherever he was.

“Ryan?” She approached him. He turned his head around and looked at her.

“Surprise,” he said, getting to his feet. He walked towards her, reaching out with arms extended. She didn’t hesitate to fall into his arms because she has been longing to be hugged. He pulled her in nice and tight and wouldn’t let go for a long time. She didn’t want him to because tears just escaped her and cascade down her now red face.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to Christmas,” he apologized, patting her back.

He needn’t to apologize—she had just forgiven him seconds after seeing him and being in his arms. He had just showed up at the perfect time that she needs someone to talk to about her situation. Someone that knew about everything and she doesn’t have to start from scratch—it’s another reason why she hadn’t told Lily what happened.

“Since when have you been in town?” She asked him freeing herself from his hold. She knew she’ll have to explain to Katherine who Ryan was and why she was holding him for so long and crying.

“This morning,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets as though he was nervous. “I couldn’t wait another second to see you.”

Alice’s heart softens—she could feel a smile wanting to spread across her face, so she lets it. “I’m glad you’re here,” she mumbles, wiping the tears off her face.

He nods his head as he smiled.

“Just give me one second,” she said to him and walked over to Katherine.

She smiled sheepishly as the sudden heaviness to tell her mate’s mother she wanted the rest of the day off just so she could spend it with another guy, over took her.

“I never knew you had a brother,” Katherine said, putting up a box of fresh brownies. Alice looks back at Ryan to see if they even looked alike. He has brown hair while she had grey hair just like her mother. And her father has black hair—Ryan is nothing close to being her brother.

Alice brushed off the comment because it’d take her longer than she wants it to, to explain to Katherine who Ryan is.

“Can I get the rest of the day off?”

Katherine nods her head. “Of course, honey. You need to rest after all the work you’ve been doing for the past one week. Lily can take care of the cupcakes.”

Alice gave her a thankful smile before she walked back to Ryan and they left the bakery.

He didn’t say anything to her neither did she. He just followed her back until they were in a park-like area. They hand wooden benches, plants, playground and even a fountain—this has to be a park.

They sat on the edge of the park bench together, her eyes wandered around and he sensed that she didn’t want to look at him.

A smile flickered on his lips as he wondered why she was avoiding his gaze. But whatever it is, he’s about to find about because he knows Alice would not hide anything from him no matter how bad or embarrassing it was.

“So, Umbris pack, huh?” He began, also surveying the place and admiring it. He didn’t want to admit but Dominic had really made his home look like paradise. It made him feel like he was in back New York.

“Yep…” she nods her head and they fell into an awkward silence.

He inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth before turning his head to her side. “I see you’re enjoying this place.” He spotted white dust on her hair and he knew it was flour. He gently brushed it off, making her to look at him.

“Thank you,” she said smiling sheepishly.

“You look so good.”

She stares at him for a moment before tearing her eyes off. “How’s your mom’s health now? I hope she’s better now.” His mom got sick just a week before Christmas and he couldn’t make it. Alice wasn’t angry that he didn’t show up like he promised, she was upset she didn’t get to spend Christmas and new year with all her best friends present.

“She’s as strong as an Alpha. She’s even back to work and it gave me the opportunity to fly here to see you.”

She smiled at the open space but he knew it was because of what he had just said. He likes how she was trying to pretend as though she didn’t care.

They fall into another silence again. He rests his back and stared ahead. The comfort of the wooden bench, warm from the steady sun, was a place to absorb the beauty of the park, the beauty of a joyful community at play.

He took a glimpse at her; she was staring down at her palms as she grimaced. She rubs them together before folding her arms over her chest. He doesn’t understand why she just did that but he knew something was bothering her and she was looking for a way to spill it out.

She breathes out slowly. “I messed up again. I messed up really bad.” She looks at him after she had said that.

Ryan reaches for her hand, and he holds it. He doesn’t answer her. He just smiled at her and squeezed her hand, like what she just said wasn’t that bad.

She clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes in attempt to just keep shut until he answers her. She hates that she couldn’t read his expression because he’s just sitting there, smiling and looking around the scanty park. This isn’t what she wants him to do, she prefers he scolds her and tell her what she had done was wrong and she needed to make things right.

She needs a reason to go back to Dominic again and apologize.

“What did you do?” He finally spoke after the throttling stillness.

She didn’t hesitate to tell him everything that happened because he’s Ryan and he’ll tell her what to do. And he’s good at giving the best advice and decisions.

“Dominic and I went to grab dinner last week and Aaron showed up. Everything just happened too quickly. He asked if I still had feelings for Aaron and I couldn’t answer, so he just assumes that meant yes. I tried to apologize the next day but I think I made things messier.” She rolls her eyes afterwards. She had let Lily to get into her head so much that she was starting to feel like Dominic is the one that needs to apologize to her for trying to apologize to him but ended up being blown away by him.

“Do you still love Aaron?” He looks at her when he asked that question.

Just like it happened with Dominic. Her ability to speak vanished and she couldn’t think of anything to say. She didn’t want to tell him no because that was a lie and she didn’t want to say yes because she doesn’t know whether she does still love him or not. She was just in between two possibilities. He nods his head when her lack of response was enough confirmation for him.

“Look, Ryan… it’s not like I’m going back to him or anything. You know he was my first love and how much I loved him. It’s just that when I saw him that night, it brought back so many good memories and I let my emotions get the best of me.”

“What about the bad memories? What about the part where he neglected you and made you feel like shit? Have you also forgotten the sleepless nights and how he made you neglect your best friends?”

Alice smiled painfully—she should be offended by what Ryan had just said but she wasn’t. He was right; Aaron left when she needed him the most. And lovers aren’t supposed to do that.

When someone loves you, they don’t have to say it. You can tell by the way they treat you. Actions speak louder than words. All Aaron did was gave her the words without the action. Yet, she was still clinging onto him.

“He punched Dominic that night. Do you know how much guts you have to hit someone like Dominic?”

Ryan chuckled softly. “You’re defending Aaron again. I don’t want you to get hurt again, Alice. Going back to him is just going to break you again but worse than it did before, because you might end up losing Dominic at the process.” He rose to his feet and her eyes followed his face. Her heart was beating wildly because she doesn’t like what he just said to her.

“I hope you make the right decision, Alice.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”