Chapter 24: Chapter 24

She furiously threw another stone into the water, the urge to scream out loud was still fighting to spew out of her. She curled her hands into a fist as she walked back and forth.

Why was she angry?

It was obviously because of Aaron. Who else would she literally be upset about? Not Dominic, that’s for sure. He was her least problems now. He wasn’t even a problem at the beginning. And the last time she saw him was when she ran into him at the gates while he was waiting for her father. It was as if telling her the truth about him made him want to ghost her now that she always wanted to run into him.

Maybe this was one of the things she could consider Dominic a problem—she wanted to see him, if not every day but eight times a week. If that’s even possible.

She kicked a rock and it went right into the water.

“Quit throwing things in there, you’re making the clear water not so clear anymore.”

Alice rolled her eyes before she even turned to see the owner of the voice. “Why are you here?” She asked.

Miley shoulder-shrugged and handed her the phone. “Because Ryan wants to speak to you,” she told her and Alice briskly glanced at her. She hesitantly collected the phone from Miley and placed it on her ear.

There were so many reasons she didn’t want to talk to him now. He was going to ask her how things were and she can’t lie to him because he is Ryan and he can read through her even when he’s not there. Her voice always gives her away.

Her second reason was if she tells him the truth, he was going to give her the I told you so lecture and how he was right about everything.

“Hey,” she mouthed and blows out a trembling breath.

“Alice… I’ve been calling for the past two days but Miley told me you didn’t want to talk to me.” Alice glanced over at Miley and glared at her. Miley knew what that meant. She shrugs it off like it was nothing. “She literally told you that I didn’t want to talk to you?”

Miley waved her off and hurriedly walked out of the cave. She shakes her head as she heaved a sigh of frustration. She sometimes finds it annoying how Miley could be literal sometimes. She told her she didn’t want to speak with Ryan—she didn’t literally tell her to say that to him but Miley being herself, she told him the truth.

“Yes, I was avoiding you. Because you were right about everything,” she said it as though she didn’t want to admit. Of course, she didn’t want to tell him how he was right about everything and she should stop being stubborn about everything he tells her to do.

“What happened?” he asked worriedly. His voice lowered like he didn’t want to let the next person hear him say that. It was the weekend and he was at home—alone.

“It’s Aaron…” her voice falters when she mentioned the name. It’s been literally three days since she last called that name out loud. It’s been four days since she last saw his face. “He was supposed to join us for dinner three days ago to meet my parents, but he… he didn’t show up.” Her voice cracked and she was already on the verge to tear up. She hates talking about her situation because she always ends up crying.

“That son of a b*tch…” Ryan said faintly. The anger was already rising within him. “What an asshole.”

Alice’s shoulders slumped, as if Ryan was there in front of her. She massaged her temple with her free hand—she hates the ache she feels whenever she wanted to fight her tears from falling.

“You were right… about everything. About him and about trusting him,” she mumbled, her voice trembling.

“No, no don’t cry because of that jerk. You have had enough and you have been through enough,” he affirmed and it made her to chuckle as she raised her head, and blink back the tears.

“You’re right. You’re right. I’ve had enough. He is not worth my tears.” She kept repeating that to herself.

“Yes, he is not worth it. And you are going to be fine without him…”

“NO! No, I won’t…” A great sob escaped her lips as her knees buckled, meeting the hard rock. “I want to let go, I want to. I just… I can’t…”

“It is not going to be easy. The first heartbreak is always the worst but you have to stop searching for why at some point and let it go…” He knew Alice to be the most stubborn person when it comes to something she wanted. And Aaron being her first love, it would be difficult to rip her off him. Not with the way she’s so obsessed with him even after the countless times he has messed up.

“He may still love you. He probably does. He probably doesn’t know what he wants. He probably still thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything also. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life,” Ryan spoke wisely. He hopes she’d consider his words and actually use it.

She nods her head, wiping the tears away as though he was there. The agony was still there—an ache covered her chest as if she was in surreal hell. “I just sometimes feel like it’s too early to give up after what we’ve been through. Maybe something is bothering him and it’s the reason that’s pushing him away from me. Maybe if I try harder,” she said, out of hope. She believes that she’s made to love him. It’s the only explanation for something that comes so naturally to her, and it doesn’t matter if he’s avoiding her or hiding from her—in the chaos or in the calm, he still feels like home to her.

She hears him sigh tiredly. It was obvious he was tired of trying to convince her but she routinely gives another reason not to be convinced.

“Look, Alice, sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what isn’t, wont. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must just move on and realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. But if you still feel like you want to fight for him after what he has put you through, you should, Alice. This choice is up to you not me or your father or anyone.”

She took in a short breath and exhaled. She closed her eyes, letting his words sip in. As much as she didn’t want to admit, Ryan was right. But when he said it was her choice, she still feels like she has to fight a little harder and push it on.

If she runs to him again and he doesn’t at least walk back to her—she might give up for good.

She had pounced over the thought of calling it off and also thought of giving him another trying for so many times that she was jumbled—even after speaking to Ryan now. Maybe was getting ahead of herself and needs to relax a bit.

They ended the call after that and Alice was back to her usual—thoughts of Aaron and how she’d make things work.

She breathes out air from her mouth and tried not to cry again. It’s now a part of her—crying all the time for the slightest thought of him. If he wasn’t the one, she couldn’t be crying this much. She wouldn’t be worried about him and their relationship this much.

When she turned around, her heart jumps into her throat when she sees him standing a few feet in front of her. “Oh God, you scared me.” She placed a hand on her chest to stop it from escaping its place.

“I’m sorry about that. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. It almost looked as if he wanted to laugh.

She heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes, turning around. He looks at her retreating back and smiled. He knew she was trying to hide her red, puffy eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

“How long have you been standing there?” She asked. She’d throw herself into the water if he heard her crying over a guy that she doesn’t know whether he wants her or not.

“Not enough to know why you were crying.”

She closed her eyes tightly and scoffed softly. She turned around again to face him. Her eyes boring into his tired looking one. Her eyes soften immediately when she noticed how he looked tired and it seemed like something was bothering him.

“Looks like we both need some therapy,” she said, folding her arms over her chest.

He chuckles softly and it tingled her skin. She shifts awkwardly, not wanting him to notice that not only his voice does an impact to her body but also his laughter was affecting her.

“I’m fine,” he mouthed. “Someone tried to break into my pack in the middle of the night but we caught him. He’s answering query as we speak.”

Her eyes bulge out with both astonishment and anxiety. “Why are you here then?”

“To give you this,” he handed a paper bag to her. It was at the moment she realized he came along with something.

“What in it?” She looked at him to the bag he was handing her. Her arms were still folded over her chest.

“Your clothes. I got them washed for you and ironed.”

She gives him a pointed look and hesitantly snatched the paper bag, and peeked into it. It was her jeans and shirt. “A mere jean and shirt would not bring you all the way from your home to my place. What exactly brought you here?” She asked him. She could see the mortification wash over his face and her lips instantly curved up. “You cannot just leave a huge problem back there and come here just because you wanted to give me back this.”

He nods his head in agreement, “you’re right.” His head falls to the space between them. How was he going to start telling her that he has been down lately for the past few days and he simply came to see her to rectify that melancholic feeling. “I just wanted to see you,” he admitted. “And also how you’re doing,” he added, covering up the destitute profess he just made.

She folded her arms to her chest again and tilt her head, trying to read his expression. He wasn’t smiling—he’s staring at her with a lot of feelings, and the heaviness in his eyes was making her chest tight. She briskly looks away, breathing out the tension growing in her chest.

“I can’t seem to stay away from you. Even if I wanted to. I have tried to give you the space you’re been asking for but I failed. Something about you makes me feel a little more alive and far less lost.”

The way he looks at her, all serious and attentive—was more flattering than the sweet words he had just told her. He looks at her—she suddenly can’t breathe.

She clenched her fist and held it up to her chest. The erratic beat of her heart and the rapid expansion of her lungs to make room for more air were the only two things she could focus on right now.

She gulps down the bile overcrowding the air way and cleared her throat. “Why me?” She uttered, fighting to keep the eye contact but his eyes were too intense… too sincere to look at them. She hates seeing the truth in them. And if she kept staring into them, she might get lost and wouldn’t be able to find her way out. She wouldn’t want to find her way out of those dreamy eyes.

She’s torn away from her train of thought by Dominic’s chuckle. She looks up at him, and there’s a smile on his face. “Why You? Because I’m head over heels for you and you fill my heart. If I had the choice between you and a million things I’ve always wanted—I would choose you every single time.”

She took her eyes off him and ducked her head. Her heart was beating so fast that it hurts. She was tired of the way it was pondering for Dominic. His presence alone makes her forget how to breathe.

“Really…” she only said. She wanted to ask even if bringing back his wife and daughter was among the one million choices but didn’t. She doesn’t want to complicate things for him right now. She wouldn’t want him to be thinking of another woman while he’s standing before her—even if that woman was his wife. She wants him to think of her even though she was in front of him now. She wants him to tell her more about how he felt about her and why he wanted to be with her. It made her feel less messed up even though she doesn’t want to admit that she was a mess right now.

“I see you have a phone now,” he says, looking at her hand.

She looks at Miley’s phone in her hand and shook her head. “it’s not mine.”

“Why don’t you have phone? I thought you turned eighteen two months ago.”

Her heart flips. He remembers her birthday? He knows her age. What else does he know about her?

“You should ask my father that,” she replied unconcernedly despite how uneasy she was.

He shrugs that away and cleared his throat. “I better get going,” he said, taking slow steps towards her.

He closes the gap between them. He brushes off a lock of hair from her face—his gesture was almost affectionate. He trails his finger down to the side of her face and then to her chin. He raised her head up to face him.

Her eyes fall shut—his touch helping her to forget the pain and tightness she was feeling in her chest. “Look at me,” he said softly, his sounding was still deep and domineering. She opens her eyes and sets them in his. With a yearning expression, he stared at her.

She tries to breathe out the smothering she felt inside but failed. Her heart was beating erratically because she has no idea what he’s about to do.

“I want to see you again tomorrow. Can I come see you?” He asked, cupping the sides of her face in his hands. She closed her eyes shut and breathes out mildly. The unspoken feelings she sensed staring in his eyes was too intense for her to grip. She nodded ceaselessly, hoping he’d let go of her face and leave.

He leans forward and presses his lips to her forehead, and she hates that he just did that. Now she’ll be the one plagued with sleepless nights, because she wants to put this memory on repeat.

He shifts back and smiled at the dazed expression on her face.

She felt him even after he let her go and felt. Her eyes were still shut until she couldn’t hear the slightest sound of a being around her. She slowly opened her eyes to find out she was by herself again in the cave.

She breathes out a sigh—it wasn’t a sigh of relieve, it was sigh to release some of the tension that had built inside of her the moment his finger touched her face.

She brushed her forehead as though she could feel his lips when she touched it. Her mouth curls into a slight grin—this was a piece of him he gave her.