Chapter 23: Chapter 23

He told her he’d never hurt her again. He’d never make the mistake of neglecting her again. He told her he loves her the way she is and he’s ready to fight for their love to blossom. He told her he was going to be with her no matter what, no matter the circumstances.

He lied.

Even though he was standing before her now, she was fighting to believe what he was telling her. They used to be her favorite words to hear from him. But she has gotten fond of hearing the words without actions that now, she was tired of hearing them. Somehow, she has memorized some of them. It felt as if she doesn’t want to hear them anymore. Or maybe she just needed the slight amount of action to believe them.

She simply looked up at his lips and nodded to whatever he was saying. She looks up to his eyes—they weren’t what they used to be whenever he told her how he felt about her. It seemed like they were trying so hard to hide something from her. Something she was afraid of knowing, something she dreads.

She breathes out, digesting what he had just told her. “I am trying so hard to believe everything you just told me now,” she said to him. Her eyes were searching his. She saw the agony wash over his face but she couldn’t tell if he was faking it or he really felt that way.

“But…” his words wavers and he releases some of the tension built up inside of him. “You know how I feel about you, Alice. What can I do to make you believe that I’m still the same man that fell for you since the first day he laid eyes on you?”

She couldn’t say he was a man yet. He has proven that to her that he wasn’t even man enough to face Dominic. Though Dominic looked more stronger but he had proven to her that he just wasn’t a man yet.

“Come join me and my parents for dinner tomorrow night. They want to meet you,” she told him and she could proximately see how he felt about it all over his face. He looked incredulous and shocked, and he wasn’t expecting her to say that.

“Is that what you want?” He asked her and she tentatively nodded. Her heart was beating erratically for no reason. Maybe because she was already having second thoughts about it. Maybe her father had plans to end him when he shows up in their pack. He’d be trapped the moment he walks through those gates and that was it.

But she knew her father well enough and he wasn’t a cruel man despite what he has made her go through.

“No one is going to hurt you. Not even my father. He is the one that asked to see you because he has approved of us,” she explained concisely.

He gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It was a skeptical smile she wasn’t sure of its meaning. She was even afraid to know what it meant.

Why was she even standing there with the guy she thought she wanted. She still wanted him and she wanted to have a life with him. But he was making her to have second thoughts about their relationship.

“You’ve changed,” she mouthed, her eyes were looking down on their hands that were clasped together. “You are not the guy I fell in love with anymore.” Her eyes were now on his dismal looking ones.

“Alice…”

“Come to my house and prove that you do still love me,” she said, freeing her hands from his hold and walking away.

She left him there standing in awe. She felt the weight over her shoulders fading the more she walked further away from him. This was weight built because of Dominic. He caused it without even knowing he did. She felt a guilt inside of her and was afraid he’d see her together with Aaron. She doesn’t even know why she felt that way.

It was more like she was embarrassed to be seen with Aaron by him because the last time they were all together, Aaron wanted to sacrifice her away. How was she even still with him? He hasn’t even apologized for that. He hasn’t even explained himself for what he did at that time.

Knowing the truth about Dominic now has wholly changed the way she sees him and the way she feels about Aaron. Maybe because Aaron has shown her that he’s not worthy and capable, whereas Dominic has proven that he was ready to die for her.

Why does she still feel like she wanted to be with Aaron rather than Dominic where she knows she’d sleep soundly without having to worry about being in danger?

Her heart wanted her to give Dominic a chance. Not to marry him, but spend time with him and see where things go. At least, that’s what her parents wanted since from the beginning.

She disregards the thoughts and headed home straight to spread the news.

She arrived at the gates to just encounter with the man she wanted to see. She doesn’t know why she wanted to see him but her lips somewhat quivered up when their eyes locked.

“Alice,” he said, his voices sounding so deep and rich.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” She asked him, rubbing her palms over her buttocks. Why was she suddenly nervous?

Maybe because Aaron hugged her earlier when she met him and his cologne was all over her. Maybe because Aaron kissed her and his lips were printed against hers. Or maybe because she told him to join them for dinner tomorrow and Dominic was joining them also because maybe her parents coincidentally invited him also for dinner.

“I’m waiting for your father, we have somewhere to be right now,” he said and looked over to his wrist watch.

She breathes out, nodding her head because she doesn’t know what to say to him after that. “Oh, I’ll… I’ll go fetch him for you,” she said and he smiled at her, and nodded. “I’d love that.”

She hurriedly strolled through the gates and headed straight home. And before she reached the porch, her father walked out of the house. She looked up at him and smiled sheepishly.

“Hey,” he said, returning a smile. For the past few days since he told her she could invite Aaron home, they have been in great terms. He was happy about that—not only because he made her happy for that but also because it’s been seven days and she hasn’t brought anyone home spoke about it.

“Hey, did you know Dominic is waiting for you out front?” She asked, walking past him to the front door.

“You bumped into him?”

She nodded her head, smiling before walking inside. He watches her retreating back and the door closing behind her just as he smiled. She smiled at the mention of Dominic. This was a good sign.

He turned around and made his way to the gates. Dominic was still there wait. He slightly smiled when he spotted Alpha Fredrick walking towards him. “I apologize for my tardiness,” he said, offering his hand for a handshake. Dominic took it and smiled. “It’s no problem.”

They begin to make their way to their destination. Fredrick opened his mouth to speak but failed. He didn’t want to bring up the topic of Alice because Dominic asked him not to. He asked him not to bring up the talk of Alice anymore because it made him feel as though Fredrick was eager to get rid of her or she was a burden.

“She hasn’t brought anyone home, and it’s been seven days now,” he said anyways.

Dominic looked at him and threw him a quizzical look. He knew what he meant and who he was referring to. He just wanted to make sure they were on the same page before he makes a comment.

“My daughter, she hasn’t brought anyone home and she hasn’t said anything about it. I think this is a good sign,” he explained briefly.

“Oh,” Dominic said only, shrugging it off. But his heart speaks otherwise. It leapt like it was about to jump out of its place. He wanted to smile so badly but he suppressed it. When they made that agreement with her father, he was afraid she’d bring someone home. He was afraid the guy she’d bring home was Aaron. It should be anyone but Aaron. It should be him. Yes, he’s that selfish and yes, he wanted Alice all to himself. He believes she is worth more than being his wife but he also believes that he’s the right man for her, protect her and love her.

“How did she even end up at your place the other day?” Fredrick shoots the question out of nowhere.

Dominic didn’t look at him this time. He kept his head ahead as they walked through the woods. He knew one way or the other, Fredrick was going to ask him this one day, because he was a curious man and he always wants to know everything and clears his misgivings.

“I think she needed some comforting about something but she ended up comforting me. Because she’s that amazing,” he said and this time around, he couldn’t hold back the smile.

Fredrick looked at him and smiled also. “She is special.”

**

Fredrick did not like the news. It kept him up all night. He wanted to look her in the eye and tell her no, she should not bring anyone to his house but Dominic. At least not Aaron. He was so against him. There was something off about the boy that it doesn’t sit right with him.

But seeing how happy she was, it made him want to do whatever she wanted. So, he rejoiced with her and hid that disappointment and anger he felt about Aaron.

Aaron was arriving in an hour. They were in the kitchen preparing for his arrival. He got to his feet and stepped out of the house. He needed some support on this and needed someone strong to be there when things don’t go the way he wants them to. He doesn’t want things to end smoothly when Aaron comes. He wanted things to end so horribly because his daughter’s safety was first and he wasn’t going to let some unidentified stranger to take her away from him.

He knocked on his Beta’s door and soon enough, Miley answered the door. “Alpha Fredrick,” she said and smiled at him.

“Miley, how are you? Is your dad home?” He asked, returning a smile. “I’m good. I’ll get him for you,” she said and walked away.

Miley’s father, Jonathan walked to the door, surprised to see the Alpha by that time of the evening on his porch. “Fredrick? Hope everything is fine.”

He smiled and nodded. “I need you in my house for dinner now if that’s not a problem,” he said and he could see the shock in Jonathan’s face.

“There’s this guy coming over for dinner. I don’t have a good feeling about him. My daughter loves him, that’s why I’m letting him come. So, I need you to be there if anything goes wrong.”

He was silent for a moment. He didn’t know what to say exactly. He couldn’t say yes to Fredrick and he understood how he felt as a father. He simply nodded his head and excused himself.

Less than two minutes later, he came back and they headed back to Fredrick’s place together.

Alice was pacing back and forth in the kitchen as her heart beats wildly. She tried to breathe in and out but the panic was still there. Fiddling with her fingers, so many possibilities wander in her head. “What if dad has other plans for tonight?” She didn’t think she’d be this anxious.

Linda sighed; it wasn’t a sigh of relief. It was more like a sigh of frustration of Alice walking back and forth, and asking her questions she doesn’t have answers to. But being the good mother she is, she tries to comfort her.

“Why do you think your father has other plans? And what other plans?” She wrapped another set of utensils in a servant and kept it aside.

“He has his Beta out at the dining room. Why did he invite him all of a sudden? To do what? Humiliate my boyfriend?” She was on the verge of losing it and she was sure it wasn’t because her father’s beta has joined them for dinner. It was because she has a feeling that Aaron wasn’t going to show up. It would hurt her if he doesn’t.

Linda dropped the fork on the table, making a loud clattering sound. Alice paused and looked at her. She clearly looks exasperated by everything.

“You’re overreacting, Alice.”

“But…”

“You are overreacting! Now why don’t you help me set the table instead, alright?”

Alice lets out a rickety breath and grabbed the plates from the kitchen counter to the table.

Couple of minutes later, they were all seated at the table, waiting like Fredrick asked them to.

Alice tapped her fingers on the table irascibly as she habitually looked over the door. With every minute passing by, she could feel a painful weight pondering her down. And she could feel the happiness around her father. She knew this was what he wanted. She knew he still wasn’t convinced with the idea of her being with Aaron. She knew he was not going to let her be with him.

“It’s been half an hour, Alice,” her father spoke up, interfering her thoughts. She looks up at him pissed.

“It’s been only thirty minutes. I’m sure he’s on his way,” Linda said and Alice knew the best thing to do what keep shut. “Have you informed the guards you are having a visitor?”.

“Of course, I have,” he responded, shrugging it off. Alice swallowed hard, the pain in her throat rising up with each passing minute and with each time her father spoke.

Why was she suddenly blaming him for this? He gave her permission to bring home who she wants. He’s sitting here, waiting for her mate and get to know him. He’s willing to let her be with the one she wants despite hating him so much. She shouldn’t be blaming him—she is to blame for. But, blaming it on her father was way easier because he was sometimes unpredictable.

“I think we should just eat,” he spoke again after several minutes.

“Fredrick! Let’s wait for a couple of minutes more,” Linda said through gritting teeth.

“No… you can eat. Excuse me,” Alice said and got to her feet. With a numb heart, she walked out of the room and headed out of the house.

Fredrick immediately went after her and before he could step out, she had already bolted across the metropolis.

He knew she’d be in two or three places; by the oak tree or the water fall, or out into the woods. He sighs, hoping she didn’t choose the third option. He hates how she goes out there too often. Especially in the night. It wasn’t safe—he still has enemies trying to bring him down and the two things they’d take to ruin him was his wife and daughter.

He made his way to the waterfall. It was her top favorite hiding spot. He had hopes in finding her there but she wasn’t there, just a couple of teenagers having a night swim.

He strolled down to the oak tree. There was no sign of anyone there but he heard the muffled sounds of her sobs. She was sitting behind the tree, her knees hugged to her chest with her head buried in them.

She was crying so hard that he could feel her pain. He hates that her purpose of crying was because of a boy that wasn’t even worth her time. He doesn’t deserve someone as precious and perfect as Alice.

He perched down beside her and looked ahead. She was quiet. She stopped crying when she felt his arm around her shoulders. She raised her head up and also looked ahead without looking at him. She wiped her face but the tears still gushed out. She was in pain that she couldn’t even hide her sorrow even if she tried to.

“You must think I’m stupid for this,” she muttered, her eyes still looking ahead.

He breathes out gently, rubbing her arm to comfort her. She laid her head on his chest—this were moments she missed so much with her father.

“He is the stupid one for making you go through all this pain. He’s not worth it.” He looks down at her to find out she was already staring at him. She still had hopes, he could see it in her eyes. It maddens him to see she still had hopes in Aaron.

“I just feel like something happened to him. Maybe something came up and he couldn’t show up…”

“Is there anything that’d possibly stop him from coming to have dinner with the family he intends to have as in laws in future? Do you think he’d play with his chance when he knows your father, one of the strongest werewolves is against you being together? I don’t think he would ever want to play with a once in a life time opportunity.”

She takes her eyes of him and placed her head back on his chest. She doesn’t even know what to say because her father was right. If he wanted to be with her, he wouldn’t have joked with tonight. He would’ve showed up and they would have been on the table eating together while her father glared at him to make him feel uneasy.

“I think you have given him enough excuses for the crap he has made you go through. And I think you’re better off without him,” he said to her.

She heaves a sigh and closed her eyes. “How did you know that I forgave him too much for the mistakes he never apologizes for?”

She hears his chest rumble with chuckle. “Because I hear you cry yourself to sleep,” he told her and she briskly snapped her head up to look at him.

“Are you eavesdropping on me?” She asked aggravated.

“The walls are thin, Alice. And you must have forgotten the sensitive ears we have.”

She looked away, smiling sheepishly. She suddenly felt embarrassed that her father hears her crying over a boy that was in the comforts of his home without knowing what she was going through.

“He was my first love. I’m new to all of this. Maybe I pushed too hard? Maybe I love too hard? Maybe he needs some breathing space? I just… I think that he loves me but there’s something holding him back.”

She hears him sigh again, his eyes were still looking out the blank space that had nothing but trees and wooden benches. “You are not pushing too hard, you are not loving too hard and you most certainly don’t need to feel like you’re breathing on his neck. If he really was the one, you shouldn’t be feeling skeptical about this all. And you shouldn’t beg someone to love you.”

“It just hurts,” she whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ll give so much of yourself to a person and they’ll make you genuinely feel as if they’d do the same.” She opened her eyes. “Except they don’t… they never do. I’m constantly the one who cares little more,” she says quietly, “and it hurts.”

“Let me give you a piece of advice that worked for me back then before I met you mother.” He moved his hands off her shoulders so she’d face him. “The only one who gets to decide your worth is you. Never beg for someone to be in your life. If your love and emotions get ignored, walk away. You’re worth more than what you think. Be with someone who is proud of you—proud to be with you. Someone who’s there through thick and thin, with no regrets and doubts. Because that’s what you deserve, that’s what your heart desires, that’s what your life needs. Never forget your worth.”

She felt the tighten in her throat. The pain that was blocking her air way. The sting she was feeling in her heart right now was an underreckoning. She nodded her head incessantly as she tried to swallow back the tears that were threatening to spew out.

Being emotionally attached to someone sucks. It gives you a feeling of not being in control and fearing the loss of them. She has given him the power to hurt her and he was using it against her. He was hurting her even without putting effort to do so. She looks at her father as he got to his feet. “Come back home now, please,” he muttered and squeezed her shoulder lightly before walking away.

She brought her knees to her chest and hugged it.

She was broken, shattered really, robbed early of the tape and glue necessary to put her soul back together. Her heart, poorly stapled shut, was beating hard but without purpose, her skin stretched across her aching muscles like a worn canvas. Her mind was like a lost man at sea, desperate and starving for some reason to live. Desperate for a memory, good, warm, welcoming, one she could smile to. It was difficult to remember her smile, soft but contagious, it had stained her lips like blood, the same blood she could taste as she bit her tongue hard to keep from screaming.

Maybe it was time to give it a break, or even call it off and let go. Maybe she needs to let go of the feeling and let go of the hopes. Maybe she was getting herself worked up too much and everything that has been going on around her.

She has to stop admiring him, adoring him, and even loving him with her whole heart. She has to because she couldn’t take it anymore. She’s tired of all the mixed signals he was giving her lately. She’s tired of staying up all night wondering what she did wrong to deserve this from someone she did nothing wrong to. From lying to her to hiding her from his parents—it was all messed up.

She was tired of all the baggage. She’s been through enough. She has to let him go now. She needs to. But she can’t find it in herself to do so because she loves him and she has hope in them still working out and having a happy ending.