Chapter 20: Chapter 20

“Why did you save me?” She asked him, her eyes glued to his glowing brown eyes under the half moon. She stared down to his pointed nose and plump, pink lips that made her thought of how it would feel like against hers. She returned her eyes onto his eyes, just to find out he was already staring at her.

“That’s… not what I asked you. Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked again.

She dropped her gaze and pursed her lips, suddenly feeling mortified. Her boyfriend almost sacrificed her and afterwards ditched her for death. Not to mention he just rejected her invitation to meet her parents.

“I don’t want to go home now,” she said, her voice quivering. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears. She couldn’t hold it. She’d explode if she tried to hold back the painful tears that were buckled up in her. And without any warning, stream of tears flowed faster than her heart was beating.

“You win…” She mumbled incoherently through her hands and choked on her sobs. “You win, Dominic…” the torrents of grief coursed down her face and she didn’t try to stop them.

Dominic didn’t know exactly how to handle it. He was afraid to touch her again. He was afraid she didn’t want him to touch her. He was even afraid to speak. She shook her head ceaselessly as she cried into her palms. She was in pain; he could see that. He could feel it.

He breathes out the fury building up inside him. He stood there, watching her cry over some loser that didn’t see her the way he did.

“Why aren’t you freaking saying anything? I said you won… you can laugh now, you can rejoice…”

“Rejoice over your pain? This isn’t a game of win or lose, Alice.” He spoke for the first time since she started crying.

“I thought this was what you wanted,” she said, raising her head up to look at him. His expression was visible—he looked angry, disappointed… in pain.

“I am not what you think I am, Alice. I love you and I want to be with you. I don’t want to own you… I never wanted that. I only want to be with you, stick by your side through your tough and good days. I don’t just want to marry you to wake up to you every day or be with you forever. I want to marry you because marriage is hard, having kids and raising them is hard, relatives, blending two packs and life is hard, and you’re the girl I want to go through bad times with. Life is never going to magically be all butterflies and rainbows just because you married your soul mate…”

“You are not my soul mate,” she affirmed through gritting teeth.

A smile flickered from the corner of his lips. “But you are my soul mate and I love you. I don’t even know how I’m still with you despite rejecting me so many times and treating me like trash. It’s really hard and I wake up every day trying to let you go but I can’t… I just can’t—because you remind me of her. You remind me of both of them.”

Alice swiped on her face and looked away. She folds her arms over her chest to stop her heart from wildly beating in her ribs. “I’m not a good mate…”

“You are perfect just the way you are. And if that idiot doesn’t see that, it’s his loss. You shouldn’t be crying over someone that almost sacrificed you to death to save his own ass.”

“He wasn’t going to give me away. Aaron would never do that to me because he loves me. I can see it in his eyes. You and my father are the ones chasing him away. You’re scaring him away,” she screamed, her heart hammering like it was going to fall out. She breathes out as she wiped the locks of her off her face.

Aaron froze to his spot, staring at her. She was hurting and she wasn’t ready to accept the truth. He wasn’t going to push her. Instead, he was going to support her on what she wanted. “You’re right. He has his own reasons for his actions. He has a good explanation for walking out on you several times…”

She sent him a death look that made him to pause. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “But I’m serious…”

“You hate his guts,” she mumbled, narrowing her eyes. The tears were still falling despite wiping them away several times.

“I do. But I want what you want. I want what’s best for you. And he’s obviously the only thing you think of.”

She looks up at him and he offered her a smile. It was the first time she could say he smiled to her and she didn’t feel annoyed. She even liked it that he smiled. And she never thought of how beautiful his lips were until he smiled at her now.

“What happened to your wife and daughter?”

His smile fell dropped faster than rain dropping from the gloomy sky as his brows grew together. He didn’t expect her to bring that up. He expected her to walk away or curse him like she always did. He’d prefer if she walked away like she always did. Now he has no choice but to tell her about the one dreadful day he can’t seem to get off his head.

He did have the intention of telling her—to stop her from looking at him like a murderer and accusing him of killing his wife. Her knowing he had a daughter was enough to tell him she has an idea of what happened.

“They died,” he said plainly as he looked around the tall trees.

“I’m going to need a longer version of what you just said,” she told him, trying to make him look at her. She hates how short she was whenever she stood before him. He was so physique and tall that she was barely seen when she stood behind him.

He breathes out air and ran his finger through his dark hair. She looked at his hair and this was the first time she actually noticed how beautiful and long it was. It looked so soft and silky. She felt the urge to touch it but restrained herself before he noticed her drooling over his whole feature.

How was she just noticing everything about him now? Maybe because she hates him a little less now for saving her life.

“Come with me,” he said, taking her hand and drawing her into the tall trees. They began to walk deeper into the woods and she didn’t complain. She didn’t argue with him and she didn’t certainly feel scared or uncomfortable.

He has proven to her so many times that he could protect her and he did. He has been there for her more than the guy she’s dreaming to spend the rest of her life with. How could she still hate him this much if he has done nothing but protect her from danger—even after shutting him off and rejecting him.

They stood by a waterfall that Alice had never seen before. She looked around in awe—mesmerized by how beautiful the place was and how she’d love to spend time here alone or with her friends… or Aaron.

He freed her hand so she’d wander around the paradise-looking place. Her heart felt at ease being here. It felt so cool and welcoming at the same time. She could see herself staying here the whole day without getting tired. She could see herself swimming in the cool water. Drinking straight from the coconut or the pineapple that she spotted by the end of the water.

“This is where I met Sofia, my late wife,” he began. She looks at him, her heart dropping to the soft sand. She walked back to where he was standing right by the water. His head was down, looking at his reflection in the water.

She has never seen him this down. It was very unlike Dominic to be sad. He was either smiling or laughing. He never seemed to let anything get to him. He was carefree… blasé.

“I came out here one evening, trying to get some air after a hectic day of running a pack as a new Alpha after my father died. I heard her crying, speaking to herself, demeaning herself. I didn’t know what to do at first because I suck at approaching girls and I don’t know if it was a trap. Few years back, it was so dangerous, you can’t even pick up a stick off the ground without getting caught up in a cage and turned in an Omega.” He lets out air from his mouth and chew on his lower lip, as if trying to hold back the tears he had buckled up in.

“Before I could approach her or even talk to her, she spotted me and attempted to run. But I stopped her—she looked so frightened. Her eyes were so pure and innocent. I knew right away that she was it for me. There were no reservations or second thoughts. I saw her and, in an instant, knew in my bones, my soul had known her soul lifetimes ago.” He pauses again, a smiling sneaking up on his lips. He looks down at Alice and spoke, “in that moment it was clear that even though we just met, I always knew it was her.”

Alice looked away, her heart pounding over her ribs. She didn’t know why but she felt a slight sting in her heart when he told her how much his wife meant to him.

He took his gaze off Alice and looked out to the waterfall. “She was abused physically and emotionally by the pack she ran away from. She told me how they brutally got bitten over the slightest things. They were used like donkeys for work they weren’t able to do. I took her in to my pack and since then, we became soulmates.” He paused again and bent down to pick up a stone. He tossed it into the water and Alice watched as the stone slowly sunk into the water.

“We had Alice after two years of being married,” he said knowing fully well how she’d react. She snapped her head toward him upon hearing them name of his daughter. “I’m sorry… what?” She said quizzically as she tried to process his words. Ryan wasn’t joking when he told her that. He had a daughter with the same name as her?

He smiled and nodded his head without looking at her. “I loved her so much. She was an angel and I could do anything for her. In my eyes, there was no one that could equal her beauty, no word that can describe how much she meant to me. Nothing that could lessen my love for that little girl. They were my everything—they were my first priority. I thought they were until my foolish acts got them killed. If only one thing had changed that night. If only I went home at the time I promised them I’d be home. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my daughter that night. I hate myself for what I did to them…” He exhaled and withered away with guilt. “I felt loss of connection after that night. I felt lonely… the world wasn’t fair to me…”

His pulse raced and he breathed heavily, almost as if he would burst. His muscles grew tense and he cracked his knuckles. His body temperature rose, and he could feel his blood boiling. A vein from his neck popped out.

She held his hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Hey, hey… it’s okay. Calm down please. Whatever happened, I am sure it’s not your fault.” Her heart was beating impulsively because she has no idea what he did and why he was blaming himself for their death.

He looks at their hands intertwined together and he heaved a sigh of relief. A touch of her skin made him feel serene. He promised not to tell her this but he knew how stubborn she could be and she might end up getting angry over it. it was the last thing he wanted. “Remember when your pack got attacked, four years ago?”

She nods her head hesitantly. She was fourteen that time when the chaos happened. They got attacked by a pack that had issues with her father. They had done so much damage to their home that they had lost hope in getting it back.

“I helped your father out and fought back. I helped him recover your pack. And I was with your father when my wife and daughter were brutally murdered by the Alpha and his pack warriors that attacked your pack. I promised my wife to be home before midnight but I failed. I lost track of time and didn’t realize it was past the time I promised to be home. If only I did one thing differently, they might still be alive. My daughter would’ve been eight years now.”

She sucked in breath, shocked at what he had just told her now. The remorse just came in like a wave. She looked away from him to avoid him from seeing her tears falling. All this time she has been nothing but unkind and cruel to this sad man that wanted nothing but to be loved in return. She hated him for something he didn’t do. She misjudged him and didn’t even give him the chance to explain himself at the first place. He has been through shit and she had just made his life even worser with her unkind manners.

She hears his soft chuckle and it echoed in her head down to her stomach. She clenched her tummy when it churned with a new feeling she has never felt before. She wiped away the tears and looked at him. He smiled at her—through the pain.

“I act like I don’t care. Like nothing can hurt me. I put up this big wall of toughness and pretend everything is fine. Like I don’t need somebody’s ‘affection’ but in reality, I think I’m just too scared. Scared of not being good enough. Scared of not finding someone as half good as she was. Scared of getting hurt. Or maybe afraid. Afraid of the possibility of being loved by someone that I fear they’ll eventually let me down. Afraid that my heart would break into a million pieces because I gave my all to someone who promised they wouldn’t hurt me.”

She took her eyes off him for a moment and looked down to her feet. She had never been so embarrassed and felt guilt in her life like she felt now. She couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. It made her hate herself more for the way he still sticked with her despite how she shunned him too many times. The way she felt about him now had completely changed but she doubts if it could ever beat the way she felt for Aaron.

She felt his strong hands against her shoulders. He drew her close to him, making her to look into his brown eyes—she got completely lost in them. He’s staring at her with a level of need that she didn’t know she was capable of producing in someone. He cups her face in his warm palms and she couldn’t resist how soft his hands were. She closed her eyes for a second and opened it. Releasing some of the agony she was feeling.

“I didn’t tell you all this just so could feel sorry for me. And it also doesn’t mean that I’m trying to manipulate you into saying yes to me. I told you everything because it’s high time I tell you my story… I’m a broken man, Alice. I’ve been broken ever since I lost them. I didn’t know Alpha Fredrick had a daughter till after the incident. It wasn’t love at first sight when I first saw you. My love for you gradually formed, your personality, your voice, your hair, your eyes, you humor, how strong and independent you are—gradually, it all came clear to me you were exactly what I was looking for after so long of being with nobody.”  His deep voice was magnetic to the core of who she was, as if he’s able to resonate with all of her when others can barely achieve a fraction of it.

She closed her eyes relishing the feeling of his soft palms against her cheeks. She breathes out softly as thoughts raced through her head. Thoughts of what it would be like being with him. Thoughts of how he’d hug her in his arms and protect her…

It felt so right at the wrong time. She shakes her head adamantly and he knew what it meant. He gently let go of her face and stepped back. “I still love him,” she murmured under her breath but he heard her.

She saw the pain and disappointment in his eyes when she told him that. He smiled through it and nod his head.

Before things got more awkward, he offered to take her home. They walked most of the way to her pack in complete silence. Not an uncomfortable silence in any way. They were both quiet because neither of them was ready to say goodbye despite what she had told him.

They arrived at the gates and he halts to face her. She looks at him, waiting to hear what he has to say.

He lets out a shaky breath as he shoved his hands in his pocket. He was nervous. Why was he nervous? She has never seen this side of Dominic. It all felt surreal.

“Thank you… for listening to me,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers. She smiled and slightly nodded.

“I think I hate you less now.”