Chapter 58: Chapter 58

"You stay perfectly calm, Justin! I've got enough chaos here," I warned him and he just swallowed hard before nodding in agreement. I really didn't need him to go nuts over the blood, too.

I hastily kicked open the old front door and it was no problem at all to identify Benjamin's smell. He smelled just like her, just not as sweet.

I knocked on the door of the apartment I thought he was in and shortly thereafter an elderly lady opened the door and gave me a questioning look.

I walked past her without saying anything and stopped short when I saw photos of Love and Pablo all over the walls. It was hard to imagine, but they seemed happy, which made me incredibly angry. How could he do her so much damage???

My gaze fell to the woman behind me and I immediately realized that her hands were shaking uncontrollably, which I felt sorry for. Who knows if Pablo didn't do enough to her too.

"You can go," I whispered, but she suddenly stood right in front of me.

"Please! Don't hurt us," she begged, and that's when I realized that she probably thought I was some burglar or something.

To explain myself, I took one of Love's pictures off the wall and held it right in her face.

"This is Benjamin's mother and she's waiting downstairs," I explained and she gave me a questioning look.

"Mr. Pablo?" she asked quietly and I just shook my head, whereupon she sat down on the couch in shock.

"The queen is my mom?" I suddenly heard a really lovely voice coming from my side and then turning my head in his direction took my breath away.

He was the very image of Love... Those beautiful blue eyes. The perfect brown curls... He even got the cute snub nose from her.

I slowly approached him to crouch in front of him. He stared at me curiously and didn't seem scared at all, which was really amazing.

"Yeah," I replied sheepishly, hoping he wouldn't freak out, but I'd had enough of lying and hiding things. You could see where it had led.

"Where's my dad?" he then asked, looking past me to the lady sitting silently on the sofa. The first tears formed in his eyes and I immediately held out my hand to him.

"I promise I'll explain all this to you, but you have to come with me now."

He looked at me blankly and then shook his head as he took a few steps back.

"I want to go to my dad."

Fuck man...

Now he showed with the expression in his glassy eyes alone that he was afraid of me and I could understand that completely. I was a stranger to him and I was overwhelmed with the whole situation myself, even as I tried to keep calm for Love. She needed me and I was there...

"Benjamin...", I suddenly unexpectedly heard her quiet, trembling voice behind me and slowly got up to turn around to her. She stood there broken, hid her delicate hands under the long sleeves of the sweater and I could literally feel how much she had to pull herself together at that moment. I would have loved to hug her right away, but she showed once again how strong she could be for those she loved.

I took a step back, making room for Benjamin so he could slowly walk past me, and then watched Love crouch down in front of him to look at him with a smile, although her eyes immediately filled with tears again.

Neither of them spoke a word, just looked deep into each other's eyes and yet so many silent words were exchanged that it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Dad isn't coming back, is he?" Benjamin whispered in a tearful voice, glancing at me briefly but quickly turning back to Love.

"No," she breathed, fighting back tears. I knew she wasn't crying for Pablo, which reminded me of how much we'd been through in the last hour. "He's not coming back and I'm so sorry," she then added sympathetically and Benjamin immediately started crying bitterly at her statement.

But he was not alone in your grief...

Love hugged him and pulled him close to gently rub his back and close her eyes as she took a deep breath. Benjamin wrapped his arms around her neck as well and so the two stood there, finally united, albeit under terrible circumstances.

I wanted to give them this moment and turned to the elderly lady who had also observed the situation and nodded her head to follow me into the bedroom.

When we entered, I asked her about bags or backpacks and immediately she pulled out a large, blue duffel bag from under the bed, into which I stuffed all of Benjamin's clothes from the closet. Inwardly I was fighting against collapsing myself, but on the outside I must have seemed strong and confident....

"What happened?" she wanted to know curiously and I took a deep breath with my eyes closed and then looked over at her from the bag.

"The inevitable," I summed it up, then slung the bag over my shoulder. I just wanted to go home with my family and give us all time to cope with what I had experienced, until the woman suddenly held me.

"Wait," she said and walked over to the large wardrobe to get a document out of a box, which she then handed to me without a word.

I was confused to read that Pablo left everything he owned, including the bar and this condo, to a Sasha Riley, and I frowned at her.

"Your friend," she murmured, and my gaze immediately fell through the door frame to Love, who was now standing up and pacing back and forth with Benjamin in her arms.

"Thank you," I turned to the woman again and folded the document to let it disappear into my pocket. Like anyone would want to inherit anything from that bastard...

I ran towards Love, who immediately looked at me for help and while she had one hand under Benjamin's bottom to hold him to her, she stretched out her other trembling hand to me, where I suddenly discovered a large burn blister next to the bandage, the sight of which again aroused unbelievable anger in me

I really shouldn't have just shot him so painlessly...

Her hand sought mine and together we walked down the dark hallway to freedom, where Justin was sitting in his car and got out as soon as he saw us coming.

"Put that in the trunk, I'll be right there," I instructed, wanting to head back into the apartment, but Love grabbed my hand while her terrified eyes darted across my face. "I just want to get a blanket for you guys," I told her soothingly, but she immediately shook her head in the negative.

"We don't need a blanket with you. Please don't go... don't leave me alone," she whispered in a trembling voice and looked up at me pleadingly, while Benjamin also sought my gaze.

"Okay, it's alright. I'll never leave you guys alone again," I made her a promise, then handed the large bag to Justin to hold the door of the car for Love, where she and Benjamin hurriedly got in.

"You could have turned the heating on," I growled at Justin when I noticed Benjamin's trembling, who had sat down in the middle of the back seat, but Justin just shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

"Didn't think of that. Sorry!"

I closed the door and walked to the other side, then got in the back where Benjamin suddenly snuggled into my side, causing me to look at him in surprise.

"Like a heater," he murmured and I carefully wrapped my arm around him. I didn't know why he did that, but I figured he just trusted me because Love wouldn't let me go. My eyes immediately fell on her and I watched as she held Benjamin's hand and stared out the window, lost in thought.

What a drama....

It would take time for the wounds to heal, even if they would leave deep scars despite all the time, but I had no intention of ever being apart from the two of them for even a day.

We would make it... At least I hoped so with all my heart, no matter how broken we all seemed.

words of farewell;

You told me my happiness would become your happiness and for the last two weeks I've been hoping every damn day that it was really true.

It hurts to know that I will never see you again, but I have to learn to live with this truth and believe me, it is extremely difficult for me.

The days that followed that tragic night were so much worse for me than anything I had experienced before, and it is only thanks to Reahlyn and my wonderful son that I can write you this letter and not give up on myself.

Yes, you heard right, his name is Benjamin...

One thing I remember vividly is that you smiled so carefree in the face of death and it was because you finally knew Alice's death wasn't your fault. This has also made it easier for me to deal with it over the past few weeks, because I firmly believe that you two will take care of us from up there and that we will meet again someday. It just has to be like this...

It's weird writing these lines knowing you'll never read them, but still this pen brings my thoughts to this white sheet and I regret never really telling you what a great person you are were.

After you left, I often made myself feel guilty. Who wouldn't? After all, there was often the possibility for you, as well as for Reahlyn, to take down Pablo, but I just wasn't ready and now I have to live with the fact that everything could have turned out differently if only I hadn't been so cowardly.

You would probably tell me the same thing Reahlyn did right now. That I shouldn't always blame myself and that everything would be fine, but I do it anyway and I'll try to live with it.

I sold the all-in and donated the proceeds to Josh and his mother. I didn't want the money and I'm sure you would have agreed that it would help others better.

I gave the apartment I lived in with Pablo, which I don't even know if you even knew, to a good friend who always told me that it's perfectly okay to love two people.

And that's it. ..

No matter where you are, no matter how far away, I love you and I want you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart.

I will never forget your voice telling me over and over how much better I deserve.

I will also never forget your eyes, in which I lost myself so many times...

And most importantly, I will never forget the feelings you gave me.

You saved me Esteban and I am so incredibly grateful to you that I can now live the life you always wanted for me.

I live in freedom and with the people around me that I love the most in this world.

Just you are missing...

See you again, Silence...

Love