Chapter 16: Chapter 16

I couldn't sleep all night and decided to go to Lou's. I needed to see her, talk to her, and be really sure that she was okay before I finally made the decision to let her go, even if I didn't want to. Her happiness was more important to me than mine, even if it certainly looked different for her after my short-circuit separation. But I believed that we would be better off with our soul mates, which I now regret more than anything.

The thunderstorm outside caused this box to tremble and I quickly put on just a jacket and was about to get out when I saw Samira running towards me through the windshield.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself, pulling the hood on and exiting the trailer to meet her.

"Why don't you want me?!" she cried, her whole body shaking. She was only wearing the dress from last night and I immediately took off my jacket to carefully put it on her.

"Answer me, Chace!" she said firmly when I didn't answer.

I watched her tears quickly find their way down her cheeks and took a deep breath to just be honest.

"I never said I didn't want you, but I still have feelings for Lou that I can't stop."

Instead of having a normal conversation with me, she suddenly started pounding my chest hysterically. I just stood there soaked and let it all wash over me. She had every right to take her pain out on me. For her there was only me and she was convinced that only we belonged together.

Her punches weakened, her cries grew louder, and I wrapped my arms around her back, even though it felt wrong that I was the one trying to comfort her. I didn't even know what to do anymore, but I decided to just listen to my heart and that's what I idiot should have done from the start.

It was nonsense what everyone was saying. One could only be happy with one's companion. I had experienced perfect happiness and only gave it up for fear that it would be wrong to reject my soul mate, but as long as I didn't tag her, Samira would still have a chance to be happy. All doors were still open to us at the moment.

"Why?" the blonde snapped me out of my thoughts, looking up at me as I slowly released my arms from hers.

"I can't explain it to you."

She looked down again and I just wanted to leave, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her here alone.

"Come with me," I put my hand on her back and pushed her next to me to Chiara's house to knock.

"Hey, what-"

Chiara interrupted herself and looked back and forth between me and Samira in confusion before letting us in.

"I'll get you towels," she said and closed the door behind us before hurrying down the hall.

Looking into the living room, I noticed that Jo was sitting on the couch and Ethan was sleeping with his head on her lap. How easy it was for all of them to just be happy and content. You lacked nothing.

"Here," Chiara handed the blonde a towel, who then ran to the couch, still sobbing, and sat down on the edge, whereupon Jo now also looked at me irritated.

"Where's Jayden?" I asked Chiara, who just shrugged unknowingly.

"What's the matter with you guys?" she whispered and I just took a deep, exhausted breath and shook my head.

"It's all too much for me."

"Come into the living room first, Chace. I'll make some tea and-"

Chiara was interrupted by Jayden thundering through the door behind me and standing silently next to us, staring at Samira, who was sitting with her back to us .

"What's going on here?" he asked me angrily and I didn't know what was wrong with him at all.

"He doesn't want me," Samira suddenly sobbed and put her hands in front of her crying face, whereupon Jayden eyed me with a roll and disappeared up the stairs without a word.

Chiara looked after him for a moment and then turned away a smile.

"Everything will be fine, okay. I'll make tea with a good shot of whiskey first. That calms things down."

She walked into the kitchen smiling and for the first time I noticed a striking resemblance to her grandmother.

Luckily the day passed quickly, but the rain was still beating down on the asphalt in front of the shop. I was still angry because of my brother, but when I saw Alec waiting for me, soaking wet, with a rose in his hand, a smile came to my lips.

"How was your day?" he asked, handing me the rose as we both stood in the rain with no one around but us.

"Rather modestly so far, let's see what comes next," I smiled and he took my hand in his, which seemed strange to me for a moment, but I allowed it and walked alongside him along the street.

"If you feel like it, we can cook something together," he looked at me questioningly and shook his head slightly to at least get rid of a few raindrops.

"Sounds good."

While he held my hand tightly in his, I held his rose in the other, and I really felt a sense of security for the moment, but immediately it also felt wrong, like I was cheating on him . But he had Samira and was happy, so I decided to finally banish thoughts of him and concentrate on the here and now.

I glanced over at Alec, who immediately looked at me and smiled at me, winked, before pulling me even closer to his side. We walked into the forest and shortly afterwards we arrived at my hut completely soaked.

"I'll get towels for us," I said, quickly putting the rose on the table to disappear into the bathroom. When I got there, I took off my shoes and glanced at myself in the mirror. My face was glistening from the rain and my cheeks had turned a soft pink hue from the cold, while my brown hair hung wet. I looked away, grabbed two large towels and ran back into the living room, where I immediately stopped in amazement.

Alec was standing by the window with his back to me. He had removed his jacket and everything else on top and I admired his tattooed back with my mouth open until he turned around and I looked uncertainly at the towels in my hands.

He walked up to me, grabbed the towels with his eyes on me and put them on the chair next to us without taking his eyes off me. He lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him, which seemed to stop time briefly.

His hands went to mine and he pulled them up so he could then grab the bottom of my sweater and carefully pull it over my head. The pounding of my heart increased and I wanted to do something about his nearness but it felt too good the way he was looking at me as if he was mesmerized by my appearance.

He just dropped the sweater and then took off my t-shirt and then grabbed my waist with one hand and pulled me to him demandingly. He gently stroked one of the still wet strands of hair from my face, while his eyes fixed me formally. I couldn't take my eyes off it, caught in the deep sea of ​​his irises, and then he brought his face even closer to mine, suffocating my breath.

My pulse was racing, my body was shaking and everything felt wet and warm until he gently brushed his lips over mine, I could feel his breathing and I closed my eyes. I endured the touch and let him pull me closer and kiss me passionately, the fire of which made my body glow. His hand was still around my waist, a tight grip as if trying to keep me from running away while he tucked the other in my hair to control the kiss.

It just felt breathtaking, an exhilarating feeling after all the pain and anger I've been feeling for the past few weeks. As our tongues joined, the rain pattering on the wood above us and he being the only thing I could still perceive, I put my cold hands on his strong chest to be able to feel his skin. I felt his heart beating, stroked his skin, inspected every muscle in his body, giving him goosebumps in places, which made me wrap my arms tightly around him.

He slowly pulled away from my lips, kissing down my neck and as he tucked my hair behind my ear to nibble it gently, a low, barely audible moan escaped me, prompting him to push me towards my bedroom and this without stopping caressing my neck.

I felt the heat, felt the fire, but when we got to the bedroom and that little spark of his smell caught my nostrils, tears welled up in my closed eyes and my body started shaking with the effort to hold back more tears .

Alec apparently noticed and pulled away from me. I only slowly opened my eyes and felt the warmth running down my cheeks, which he gently rubbed away with his thumb.

I would have loved to give myself to him just to feel loved. How I would have liked to forget everything just for one evening, but he was just a part of me and he would always be, no matter how much the memory would destroy me.