Chapter 12: Chapter 12

I woke up in a sweat and automatically turned my face to the side where he usually lay, but he was gone and it had been a month since we broke up, and I still dreamed about him every night.

I sat down on the edge of our bed and had to get by for a moment, but like every morning Ludwig called me in the kitchen and the smell of fresh coffee wafted into my nose.

Ever since the night Alec showed up here, he's come every morning and every night. Probably to make sure I was still alive. It annoyed me, but I was still glad that his presence kept Alec away.

"Today is your first day," said Ludwig in a friendly manner and held out a cup to me while I dragged myself wearily into the living room.

"I've worked in the shop for years, so you can't really put it that way," I replied, gratefully accepting the mug.

"I wanted to have dinner with Isabell tonight, would you like to come with me?"

"No," I said immediately at the thought of sitting at a table with a couple in love. I wouldn't survive that. It was bad enough that I hadn't seen anyone but him for a month, but the risk of seeing Chace or the others in the market place at night was too high. I wasn't ready for that and was grateful to be alive at all, if you could call mere existence that.

"Okay, but if-"

"I know, I'll get in touch if something happens," I smiled crookedly and he stroked my back briefly before disappearing from the hut.

I sat down on the couch, finished my coffee in peace, and then headed to the bathroom to get ready for work. A black sweater, light-colored jeans and my yellow rubber boots, since it was raining lightly. One last look in the mirror, one last look at my dark circles under my eyes and I ran to the front door as if remotely controlled and walked quickly through the drizzle to the shop where I had worked so often.

It would distract me, said Ludwig. I needed to continue living, but I still doubted whether selling clothes would help me get over the love of my life.

As soon as I entered the store and breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't seen anyone, I immediately realized that some things had been changed here, but I liked it.

Misha was just about to fill the register when she lifted her head and immediately came towards me, beaming.

"Nice that you're back," she said and pulled me into a friendly hug.

"I've never been away," I smiled, breaking away from her. She explained to me what was new and that she still had enough work in the warehouse and whether I could take over the checkout.

"Yes, I will," I said and immediately stood behind the counter to continue.

It wasn't much going on the rest of the day and yet it really distracted me a bit until I heard the door open and upon looking realized that it was the blonde who had taken everything from me. I opened my eyes in shock and immediately looked down, hoping that she would just disappear again, but I heard my name and Jo came towards the counter with Chiara.

"Hey, how are you?" Chiara asked me and I faked a smile.

"Fine, thanks," I managed to choke out and turned my gaze back to the blonde who was staying by the lace lingerie shelf, earning me an uncomfortable pang in my chest.

"Well, I've got everything for the party," she said and came over to the counter to put a red bra with panties and a short, tight dress in front of me. Only then did her eyes meet mine and while hers shone with happiness, I felt the tears pooling in mine.

I avoided her gaze quickly, fighting back my pain, but as I scanned the items and placed them in a bag, all I could think about was Chace taking them off her. I stopped breathing, died inside but didn't show anything on the outside.

I told her the price and hoped they would all leave after paying, but the blonde had to top it up.

"It's a shame you're not coming to the party today. I would have liked to have met you," she said, grinning, and I turned my gaze questioningly to the other two, who immediately avoided me.

"What celebration?"

"We're celebrating your brother's birthday," the blonde replied, smiling and picking up her bag to be the first to leave the store.

"We didn't think you would want to come," Chiara stuttered and looked at me sympathetically, whereupon I just nodded and had to hold back the tears with all my might. It wasn't until they both disappeared that everything broke out and I knew she was part of my family now, even though it didn't feel like family anymore.

Broken and lonely, I stayed in the store, numb, looking down at my shaking hands, wanting to kill her.