Chapter 37: Chapter 37

“Breathe,” An elder woman instructed, holding both of my hands as I tried my best to inhale and focus.

“Mother, I’m scared.” I stared at her with teary eyes.

“Don’t be, I am here.” She caressed my long, red hair gently.

I closed my eyes and felt the surroundings. The sound of the swaying trees along with the cool air and the chirping of birds filled my ears. We were standing on a vast field of green; with flowers planted around us, decorating the empty field with their beautiful shades and fragrance.

“It’s going to hurt but you must endure it,” My eyes remained shut as I listened to her sweet hums.

For some reason, I felt relaxed. Then the sound of cracking made me wince in pain; the excruciating pain on my back would not fade. I inhaled sharply, trying to endure the torture of my bones deforming with every cracks. A loud shriek escaped my parted lips when the pain began to grow more agonizing.

Slowly, I felt something sprouting from my back; it was like growing bones. Until they became heavy and huge that it was hard for me to rise from my kneeling. I saw towering shadows of feathered wings on the ground. I looked over my shoulder to see a pair of enchanting wings of like silver, almost white.

I looked at my mother in awe. Her lips graced a proud smile. I didn’t waste a second before a blast of air swayed the grass; petals were floating above the ground at the sudden force. I was embraced by the cold wind and soared up above the heavens. So this was what it’s like to fly.

An excited grin stretched my lips as I let out a squeal. I was moving at the speed of lightning with all the energy I have in my body. I can feel the power coming from me as I move swiftly as if slicing the air; these wings are incredibly strong. For a moment, I feel at peace. The blue sky was tranquil and comforting. Once I looked at the ground, my breathing hitched at the magnificent view.

I flew down and carefully touched the grass with my bare feet. “My sweet Feyre, you did it.” Her whispers made me calm down.

My eyes shot open at the sudden dry feeling in my throat. I woke up feeling like a heavy baggage fell upon my head. I feel parched, just like every morning. Everyday is like waking up with a freaking hangover.

I shook my head when the image of my mother appeared in my head. “She’s dead, Feyre.” I said, frowning to myself. I don’t even remember her.

“My lady, you are awake.” Lilana poured me a glass of fresh blood.

My eyes darkened at the smell of it. I’ve never felt so thirsty before that my throat is aching. It’s like every time I sense blood, my mind will be clouded with only the desire and hunger for that red liquid. It scares me sometimes.

“Where’s Cassius?” I asked after I drank from the half-filled glass.

Cassius was always busy with work. He said something about taking care of certain bad guys. In the meantime, he told me to rest and try not to work too hard to recover my memories because every time I force myself to remember, my head hurts like hell. He said the memories should come naturally as time passes.

“The lord will be here in a moment, my lady.” She replied, eyeing the white ruffles of my dress to keep a low gaze.

I raised my glass to Lilana. She pressed her lips and hurriedly poured me another drink.

After I drank the entire ewer of fresh blood, she then exited as soon as I dismissed her.

My gaze landed on the books placed on the nearby shelf. They appear to be dusty and old. I let my fingers scan through the books but no titles have piqued my interest. So I put my fingers by my side and looked around the room to find something to keep me entertained.

I heaved a sigh when I found nothing. I sat on the edge of the bed and lay down. I looked at the chandelier up on the ceiling.

“I’m so bored,” I let out a groan before getting up.

I walked to the door and was about to open it when it flew open. Cassius’ emerald eyes bore at me intently. My gaze traveled down his attire, he was wearing a formal suit. It was only a suit but why does it look so powerful in it?

Well, when was he never attractive? I assume every girl in the castle has fallen in love with this vampire.

“Cassius!” I laughed nervously.

His brow shot up, “Were you going out?” He took a step towards me, pulling me by my waist so I put both of my palms on his chest to stop me from bumping at him.

“What? No!” I frowned when I saw his lips curving up teasingly.

He pulled something from his coat and gave it to me. “Here,”

I glanced at the book in my hand, “This is…” It was the book I lost. The book of angels that Cassius has given me before.

“Have you read it?”

“I didn’t get to read it because I lost it, sorry.” I smiled sheepishly at him.

He chuckled, “You should read it. It’s about your kind.”

I stared at him for a moment. Of course he knows, we’ve been together for years. I assume he knew that angels were to receive punishments for committing something evil, a sin that will soon be their greatest downfall. But what sin could I have committed for me to lose my memories?

“Thank you, Cassius.” I said.

Silence filled the air, “I remember my mother,” I stared at his chest, scared to meet his intense emeralds. I don’t even know why I’m saying this to him.

He didn’t say anything.

He remained silent as I opened my mouth, “She died. She was killed, burnt to the ground. They killed her, Cassius.” I was stuttering as I spoke. I tried my best to hold back the tears forming in my eyes.

“And I couldn’t save her,” My voice cracked as I looked down, bursting into pits of tears. I don’t want him to see me like this, it frustrates me more.

“Feyre,” He whispered, reaching for my arm and pulling me into a hug. Once my forehead touched his white shirt, I couldn’t stop the tears anymore. I kept crying while he stroked my head, running his fingers through my red strands.

“I’m here, love. I’m here, always.” He said softly, his chin moving above my head as he spoke. I like that he tells me things like this. I like that he cares; that every night he would steal a kiss on my forehead unknowingly I was still awake. I like that I’m here with him right now. I like that he wants me to remember as much as I do.