Chapter 39: Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Harry.

I don’t know how long I have been asleep, but I wake up feeling tired and dizzy. I want to take care of myself but that’s proving futile. I have been thinking a lot even when I was asleep and for sure I know that something is truly wrong with Clarita.

I know her, I have known her for a few months now and I actually can tell that she is hiding something from me. Come to think about it, when I told her about the fixed marriage, she was to tell me something, she wanted to speak to me. I was damn irrational to speak first. I would have let her speak first before I did.

Ladies always go first.

I will definitely find out what there is.

When I talked her into sleeping a little bit. I watched her fall asleep. She was pale but still very beautiful. I love her minimalism. She is nothing close to the city girls in terms of demands and complications but I would still choose her again and again.

I turn carefully not to wake her up and boom! Clarita isn’t here, she is gone, she …. I sit up swiftly from my sleeping position and I feel very tiny sweats on my forehead. I have never loosened my nerves or even gotten to pieces before like I am doing now. I don’t usually panic or get anxious but where is she?

I walk towards the bathroom. She must just be playing some trick on me. I know it because I don’t think I have been sleeping for so long. I watched her fall asleep and I made sure that she was cuddled and nuzzled in my arms.

‘’Clarita! Please come out. You know I love you, right?’’ I call quietly, there is no response. The house is cool and quiet. I swear I know very well that there is no one around here. I am trying to tell my big head that Clarita is just somewhere around the house but my heart is telling me otherwise. Ooh my God! She cannot have gone somewhere, she must be just around here.

After calling and walking around the house to no success, I finally realize that she isn’t here. She must have done what she was trying to do earlier. I will never forgive the so-called, my mother if something happens to Clarita. She is my source of happiness and my reason for change and living. She has done a lot more in my life than any of my family members. For the short period that I have known her, Clarita has been my backbone. She has shown me so much that I needed to have known right from my childhood but no! No one could have taught me all that. One because I was busy obscuring and drowning myself in drugs. I officially became a drug addict and two because my mum, my only existing mum was busy spoiling me. She wasted my life and by the time I realized, it was already too late.

I hear several vehicles hooting noisily and that’s when I realize that I was lost in thoughts. I had forgotten that I was driving. An old man gets out of his car and warns me how dangerous it is to drive without watching out. I don’t think I have time to listen to him or any other person so, I do the only one thing that an insane human being would do. I don’t respond to him. I just maneuver and ploy my way and continue with the short journey.

So gross, I know.

It is too close but I sure know that I can only get there faster if I drive my fancy car.

I am driving like one of the lunatics in existence in the universe. I am going to Tabby whom I know could know where my girl is.

Clarita is my girl. She drives me nuts and whacky. She makes me who and what I am today and so, I will do whatever I can to find her.

‘’What are you doing here?’’ Tabby asks the moment she spots me approaching the gate. I have parked a few feet away to ensure that I don’t cause any commotions.

‘’Is she here?’’ I ask quietly. I am too polite and I can feel it. I have to humble myself if I need help.

‘’Who?’’ she asks alarmed.

‘’Clarita, did she come here?’’

Her mouth hangs open. From the looks of things, Clarita didn’t come here but I stay quiet waiting for her to respond to me. She shakes her head firmly.

‘’What do you mean Sir? Is Clara missing? Where did she go?’’

‘’Calm down. Don’t panic. We were lying in her bed. I made sure that she was asleep. I wanted to stay awake and watch her sleep but as it is, the soul was willing but the body was weak. I wanted her to be the one sleeping. I fell asleep against my wish and when I woke up, she was nowhere to be seen. I have searched everywhere but I don’t seem to locate her. Please tell me she is here. I am going to run mad if I don’t find her. Please!’’ I beg Tabby who seems as surprised as I am.

‘’Wait, are you telling me that Clara, my little cousin left you sleeping and walked away? And why would she do that?’’

‘’No idea. She called me to speak after the heated argument caused by mum. I wanted to …’’

‘’I remember that very well.’’ She cuts me off. ‘’What did you tell her that made her mad?’’

I cower when she asks that. Tabby actually looks like she can wallop me right in the face. ‘’Well, I only … I just … Nothing …’’

‘’Don’t nothing me, Harry! What the hell did you do to my cousin for her to disappear?’’ she asks loudly and I tense yet again.

‘’I told her of my mum’s demands that I marry my childhood and family friend, who is also suffering from cancer and has just a few months to live. I assured her that I will not marry anyone else apart from her. I promised her that I love her so much and that will never change. I …’’

‘’Listen here, Harry or whatever you call yourself.’’ Her eyes are teary as she says that authoritatively. ‘’You are going to turn back, and go to the place where you came from. Go and find my cousin because I will never tolerate her getting a heartbreak from you. You are not going to stand here and tell me that you promised her. What the hell?’’

‘’Tabby please I …’’

‘’Don’t Tabby me! Just GO! AND BRING HER BACK!’’ She shouts once more. She is crying and I feel guilty for causing this to her.

I want to ask her if she is sure she hasn’t seen her but I don’t want to trigger her sorrows more. I walk hurriedly to my car. I don’t know where I am going to but I have to go. I will drive around and make sure that I find her.

Clarita my love.

‘’I swear to God, mum. If anything happens to my Clarita you will live to regret it forever. It is because of you that she has run away.’’ I tell mum when I get home. I decided to come here because I wanted somewhere to vent. I wanted to pour out my infectious attitude and mum was the right person for that.

‘’I hear a peal of sarcastic laughter from her. My mum is evil-minded and she can do anything to ruin anyone.

‘’She is finally gone? Wow! I knew she would wake up from her fantasy but I never thought it would be this soon. I am happy she has woken up and known that she cannot and will never fit in this family. That girl is cursed and not worthy being loved.’’

‘’What do you know that I don’t, mum?’’ I stand still fear coursing and gushing over me, I don’t know what my mum wants with my love life, what I can do to know that and how or who is going to let me into the same.

She is behaving like the most perfect person in this world. I have never met a person so judgmental like her. She is not really a good person but well, she is my mum. How I wish one could be allowed to pick a mum of their choice. Apply for the best mum that there is but that’s not how it goes.

‘A lot, Harry. You and that girl can never be together. Or have you … um … like had sex?’’ I feel my blood boiling and I swear I will not be responsible for what will happen next.

‘’One more silly word about …’’

‘’That bitch?’’ I charge towards her and my hand flies high. I am about to smash her right where I know it will heart her so much when I hear dad calling my name.

‘’Harry stop!’’ I turn to look at him and the rage cruising through me is immeasurable. I don’t care what else could happen to me but if they keep provoking me, I will create some mess here.

‘’Dad please tell your stupid wife here …’’

‘’Who is also your mum, right?’’ dad interrupts me.

‘’Whatever, please tell her to leave my love life alone. She is talking badly about Clarita who is the only person who understands who I am. Her mission isn’t money and her love for me is existent.’’

‘’What has your mother done?’’

‘’She keeps insulting her and insinuating that Clarita and I will never be together. She makes me mad all the time and if she keeps doing this, I will never be responsible for my actions.’’ I explain angrily. ‘’Clam down, son. You don’t have to argue to get solutions. At the end of the day, you must soldier on. Focus, Harry, look at your future, rather than just the current moment.’’ Dad says wisely. He is such a wise man and I know if I listen more like I am doing currently, then I am sure things gonna change.

‘’What do I do now, dad. I told her of mum’s idea that I marry her friend’s daughter, Diana who could be dying in a few months. I fell asleep beside her and when I woke up a few minutes later she was gone.’’

‘’You will find her. She must be just somewhere close.’’ Dad seems surprised that her wife is giving me a wife she is really glaring at her. ‘’We really need to talk, Jenna,’’ Dad tells her and she doesn’t even seem to care.

‘’Even you? You are going against me and supporting that marriage? That girl is a social claimer whose work is going to be sucking money from this family. I won’t allow it.’’

‘’You will never change, mum. You have decided to frustrate everyone while we all know that you were worse than her. You are wicked, mama. Imagine how you sham and parade around like one of the richest women in the world. You were never born …’’

‘’Shut up Anita! Or I will …’’

‘’Hit me? Go ahead, mum. Hit me like you hit Clarita the other day. You are wicked, you keep blaming that poor girl who is more genuine and honest than you are. You keep saying bad things to demean her just because she loves your son. Who does that?’’

‘’Mum, apparently.’’ Henry says from somewhere and I feel relieved that my siblings have my back. ‘’ don’t worry, brother. I will help you locate that girl. Your happiness is what we care about, not money.’’

‘’So, you have all ganged up against me?’’

I am about to respond when Henry pulls me and we head upstairs. I don’t know what his intentions are but I am glad that he is here.

‘’You don’t have to stoop so low. Don’t try to fit her level, brother. Let her be. Do your things discretely and let her wonder why you are never here anymore.’’

He pulls me into an embrace and even though I feel awkward, I let him because well, I really needed the calming hug.

I want to cry but I am holding myself. I don’t have to show anyone how weak I am when Clarita is concerned. She is my weakest point and I hope I will manage to control myself.

I pull away from the hug and flop on the couch my head between my palms.