Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Chapter 38

‘’Clarita please don’t go! Don’t leave me alone, I have so much to share with you. Please give me a chance to explain myself. I am not going to fall for whatever mum wants.’’ I know he is closer to me, I love Harry but I just have to let go. I don’t want to come in between a sick woman and her dream hubby. I keep walking faster, I want to make sure that I don’t speak to him.

But why would I wanna do this to him? Is it his fault that his hare-brained mother wants him to marry another woman and not me? Was it his decision to make? What should I do?

Pregnant at this age? I cannot even tell him that I am expecting his baby. Gosh! Why me? Just the very one time I tried, I ended up getting pregnant? How foolish could I be to sleep with a man without protection? What will dad tell me? What will mum do? What about my siblings? I feel torrents of tears falling but I do absolutely nothing to tell keep them away.

I haven’t turned to look Harry’s way, I am walking super-fast but I am totally aware of him trailing closely behind me. I have no idea what to do, where I am going to and how I will survive from now henceforth. I cannot keep being in his sister’s house when I know very well that he will definitely be seeing me every day.

‘’Baby don’t go, please wait.’’

I don’t turn to look at him. I start to run but I stumble on a stone, I am about to fall when Harry’s strong arms hold me. His gaze holds mine for a long second and before I know it, his forehead is rubbing mine and I suddenly feel very warm.

I try to pull away but his clamp is too tight. I don’t blink, I keep looking at him as he does look at me. He hasn’t uttered a word. I don’t want to speak because if I do, I will definitely break down. I do it never the less

‘’You do have a responsibility. You need to marry her, she is dying and only has months to live. She is your responsibility, Harry. You …’’ he cuts me off.

‘’Don’t tell me that. Diana might be a family friend, but she isn’t and will never be my responsibility. I don’t love her, I love you.’’ He says quietly. Right on cue, I notice his wet eyes and my heart goes out to him. He is crying, I feel like he is genuine.

I have no idea what happens next but gushes of tears that had somehow stopped are falling down my cheeks and I do totally nothing to keep them away. This is completely new to me. I wonder why I had to fall for him. He deserves better than me and me being with him is a dream that will never come to pass.

Throwing all cautions to the wind I embrace him when he motions me to and the hug is quite good for the moment. I don’t want to show how vulnerable I am but some things usually come by themselves.

I let my head lie peacefully on his broad and accommodative chest. I feel good, but that doesn’t last long because I pull back too soon and when I lift my face to look at him, he is looking at me beseechingly. He dries my wet eyes with his thumb. He hushes me and says I should stop crying or feeling sad because he is there with and for me.

‘’I …’’

‘’Please don’t say anything. Stay with me. I am and will always love you.’’ He says quietly. ‘’I am not going to marry Diana, what mum wants is to ruin me, I am not going to let that happen, I am going to make sure that I make you happy, well, I will try to do it, I will help you fulfill your dreams and I will make sure that you make it in life.’’

‘’What do I do, Harry? You know very well that your mum hates me, she never wanted you to end up with me and now she has apparently found a woman for you, what do you think I feel?’’ ‘’Baby,’’ he calls quietly

‘’Mh,’’ I respond with a gentle nod.

‘’I understand you. I got your back and believe you me, I am always going to stay by your side.’’ He studies me for a few seconds before he asks a question. ‘’Are you okay, beautiful?’’

I nod. ‘’I am very fine. Why do you ask?’’

‘’You look pale. You look like you haven’t been eating.’’ I force a smile.

‘’I am good.’’

‘’Can you do me a favour?’’

‘’Yeah,’’

‘’Let me take you back home, I don’t want you roaming around here alone.’’ I want to protest, say no and maybe keep walking to God knows where but I don’t have the energy. I am damn week and if I try anything then I might end up failing.

‘’Okay,’’ I say weakly.

‘’Are you sure you are okay, baby?’’

‘’I am good,’’ I respond without looking at him.

‘’This is totally not you. You are one enthusiastic girl, full of life and happiness. My doctor and love instincts are telling me that you aren’t okay. Tell me the truth, beautiful.’’ I have no idea what to tell him. He is stranded and stressed. I don’t want to block him from marrying the Diana girl. I want to give him time to do it without any hindrance.

He puts his hand on the small of my back and we turn on our heels to walk back home.

We are walking quite at a slow pace. He says he is so worried. I feel like I need to be strong for him because he seems to be the weaker vessel here.

‘’Hey, can you tell me about Diana?’’ I ask him, I am literally trying to escape from the current topic.

‘’Way to change the topic,’’ he makes a statement politely with a very feeble smile. ‘’What do you wanna know, beautiful?’’

‘’Everything that there is to know. Like who is she? What she’s ailing from, how old she is, why your mum is insisting that you marry her, and what would happen to you if you were to refuse what your mum wants.’’

‘’Wow! Which one do I tell you first?’’

I glare at him. He is such a joker even when I am serious. ‘’Just talk, Harry! I am not here to start exchanging words with you.’’ I say almost rudely.

‘’Hey, calm down.’’ He says politely and I feel guilty for shouting at him. This is so not the Harry I met the very first day I came to the city. The egotistical, haughty, snooty, and discourteous Harry. He seems so down to earth, especially when talking to me.

No one is home when we get home after a few minutes’ walk. I decided to come back here because even if I was to leave, I swear I don’t have a better place to be.

He leads me to the bedroom. I feel repelled and if you were to ask me, life slurps and the best thing to do right now is to sit back and watch where this is headed.

‘’Beautiful,’’ he calls quietly and I turn to look at him. We are both seated on the edge of my bed, I have very little energy left to think about what I should or can do so, I don’t wanna argue with him. ‘’You are and will remain my choice. Diana, that’s her name. She is my childhood friend. We schooled together, played together and did a lot more stuff together. She went to the states after her high school and left me here. We have never had an intimate relationship before and I was surprised when she came back here the other day that she is ailing and has just a few months to live.’’ He explains patiently. ‘’She is twenty-two years, she is tall and ailing from cancer. Mum wants me to marry her because ostensibly, she promised her mum that I would marry her daughter. Don’t ask me why she did that because I will not respond to you. I have no idea.’’

‘’How did you discover that?’’

‘’When I came back from work two days ago, I found her home. She doesn’t look that sick if you ask me but hey, I am a doctor, a psychologist and I can easily tell when one is going through shit. Right now I know there is something wrong with you and even though you are trying to deny it, I will find out what it is.’’ I facepalm internally. He has a right to know that I am carrying his baby but I don’t want that to inhibit with his mum’s plans of marrying him off to a sick woman.

‘’I am okay, love.’’

He spools his eyes. ‘’Of course, you are, beautiful.’’ He says sarcastically. ‘’Anyway, as I was saying, I was saying. Her mum was in some deep confab with mum when I got home. When Diana saw me, she hugged me abnormally tight. She wanted to force a kiss on me but I pushed her away gently. She fell on the floor with a thud and I thought she was just joking but no. her mum was so furious that she said if I don’t marry her daughter, then she will sue me for an assault.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’

‘’It means that I manhandled her daughter and that is not right, you know?’’ I shake my head.

‘’Is she like blackmailing you or something?’’

‘’Something like that.’’

‘’What does your mum has to say about this?’’

‘’She is insisting that she doesn’t want drama. She wants me to marry her friend’s daughter who by the way is also my friend but I don’t love her. I know even without her falling down which she didn’t even hurt herself, they had planned of that marriage and I really think that that’s the reason why they came home. This whole thing was planned for and I am sure my mum is in this too.’’ ‘’What are you going to do?’’ I ask my teary eyes trying to let me down.

Honestly speaking, I feel for Harrison. It is really pathetic to be forced to marry someone that you don’t love. It is so palpable to me that my Harrison doesn’t want to marry the Diana girl. I pull my face away from his piercing gaze. This guy is hurting or maybe that’s what I want to believe.

He cups my cheeks and makes me look at him again. He uses his huge thumb to dry the tears that are starting to fall and I just let him.

‘’I want you to know one thing.’’ I nod to urge him to speak. ‘’I am not going to espouse her. Not when I have the most beautiful, caring, and noble and one of the kindest hearted women I know. You, Clarita, are the woman I will walk down the aisle with. I already told you this before, I will even tie the knot with you secretly and run away. I esteem, love, adore and adulate you. You are mine and that’s my final decision.’’

My heart leaps with joy, I have never met a man so enthusiastic about me. I have never seen a man so in love with me. Things change and I feel loved for real. If I ever distrusted Harry, then I need to take that back and just give him the benefits of doubt.

‘’Hey, it’s okay.’’

‘’And what’s okay according to you?’’

‘’You should go ahead and …’’ he cuts me off.

‘’Marry her?’’ I nod lazily. ‘’guess what!’’

‘’What!’’

‘’I expected that from you. Remember when I mentioned that you are noble and kind-hearted? I meant it, baby. You are beautiful, both inside and outside.’’ he says without hashing his words. I know that’s what he thinks but I will not let him know what I think.

I know what I want to do is wrong but I will not let him marry me instead of the dying woman. I don’t want to bring curses my way.

‘’Did Diana have like a boyfriend?’’

‘’She did.’’

‘’What happened to the boyfriend?’’

‘’She dumped him when she left the country and that guy moved on.’’

‘’What about her current boyfriend?’’

‘’He dumped her when he heard that she will be dying soon and now she is in a mess.’’ ‘’Does she love you?’’ I ask uncertainly.

‘’That’s what she claims.’’

‘’Do you believe her?’’

‘’Unquestionably not.’’ He says confidently.

‘’Must she get married before she dies.’’

He nods. ‘’That was and has always been her greatest dream and she wants to fulfill it before her death.’’

‘’With you?’’ he nods. ‘’Are you some sort of a rebound to her or something?’’

‘’Apparently.’’ He says dismissively. ‘’Can you do me a favour, baby?’’ ‘’Sure,’’

‘’You are a very strong woman, so, please don’t cry. Also, I want you to catch some sleep, I will be here watching over you and once you wake up, I will run a few tests on you, you don’t look good.’’ ‘’I am hungry.’’

‘’I know, and that’s why I am going to get you something to eat from the kitchen. You can sleep after that, I will speak to Janet to cover for you.’’

I feel relieved but I will not let him run any tests on me. I don’t want him to know of the pregnancy because that may dissuade him from marrying that dying girl.

Minutes later, he walks back in with a tray in his hands. I don’t eat much. He keeps pushing the breakfast into my mouth, he claims that I need to eat some more and become stronger but I stop when I realize that I am feeling like upchucking. He holds me closer to his chest. He is warm and accommodative and I admire my position right now. I hate to say this but this will be another woman’s position sooner rather than later.

‘’I love you, Clarita.’’

‘’I love you too, Harrison.’’

A few minutes later. I fall asleep in his pacifying and placating arms.