Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

It’s funny how I am following Harry without questions, like a lost sheep. I am going willingly, he isn’t pulling or pushing me or something like that.

His eyes are on me each time I steal a glance and believe me, I blush and redden but I still go with him.

What exactly does he want?

Whatever Harrison ignites in me, is that really love? Does he love me? Do I love him? Am I some kind of a wimp? Do I have a future ahead of me? Or is this one of the things that brought me to the city? well, I hope this doesn’t become my downfall.

Right now, I am just not having any feelings. Harrison here is really manipulating me. He tries as much as he can to make sure that things go his way. I cannot deny that he is a good person but if I am ever going to have anything with him, then his relationship with his mum has to stop.

I shake my head slightly at my thoughts. That’s total bullshit! His relationship with his mum cannot stop. Maybe, over my dead body.

Something clicks in my head and I promise my manipulated self that I will ask him to tell me the story of his life. He had mentioned earlier that his life is messed up and I wanna know why he should say that.

I feel proud walking in his company. I have no idea if he can ever say the same to me. Or maybe about me. I am just some village girl who maybe ended up here to get messed up by some bastard who doesn’t even know what life is all about.

He opens the door of his fancy car and holds it slightly. I walk in after he gives me a slight kiss on my forehead. I wonder where this son of a crazy woman is taking me. He bangs the door once I am settled shotgun and walks to the driver’s side. He looks cute, no doubt. He must be one of those people that were created in the morning when God was fresh and not sleepy.

His eyes are on me. I wonder why that’s happening. He isn’t supposed to be looking at me like he is doing right now.

‘’What?’’ I ask casually. He smiles and I know he is doing that because clearly I seem confused at the moment.

‘’Please clip your seatbelt.’’ He says gently and pulls out of the parking lot smoothly once I do that. I don’t know what this guy fed me, I have no idea if I am doing the right thing with him, but I am here anyway.

Well, whoever said experience is the best teacher was right. I have heard people talking about their confusion when it comes to love. I never knew that one day I will be in the state. So very confused and without a plan. I follow Harrison like a confusing element, a headless chicken even.

‘’Hey, you don’t have to look all sad. I am here with you, I will always be. I will take care of you and protect you because I do love you so much.’’ I hear him say. I pretend that I don’t hear anything he is saying. I have no idea how someone in love should feel because I have never been in the situation before. The best I have ever done is to love Alvin like a friend and a brother.

This here is totally new and confusing to me.

‘’Can I ask you a question, Harrison?’’ he nods, his gaze focused on the road. He turns for a few seconds to look at me before he turns back his big eyes to the road.

‘’You can ask me anything, beautiful.’’ I wonder why he calls me that. I will find out from him one day. He knows I am not beautiful but he keeps insisting to call me that.

‘’I want to know why you keep telling me that your life is messed up.

‘’You know that’s a very tricky topic to discuss at this time of the day when I am taking you somewhere special right?’’ I ignore that completely. ‘’I don’t want to spoil the mood for you, gorgeous. I almost forced you to come with me and that’s not really a good thing.’’

‘’It’s okay. Just tell me what you meant. I will try as much as I can not to spoil my already spoilt mood.’’ I say with a slight smirk and I know that should awaken him.

‘’If you don’t shut up, then I will …’’

‘’What, Harry. You will throw me through the window? Do you think I do care? Never! I don’t give a single shit! I am better off thrown out of your car than sit in here suffocated and asphyxiated. You and I both know that you are doing these things because you somehow feel like you have authority over me.’’

‘’Baby, that’s not the case here.’’ He says gently. Gentle and Harrison are two different things but he tries to anyway. ‘’I love you. I want to do things right, I want to love you the right way, without drama. Without mum in the mix. I want to make sure that you are always happy, that you have whatever you need. I want to take you to a school of fashion and design. I want your dream of becoming a fashion designer, to come true. Above all, I want to give you happiness to infinity, I don’t want to just be with you for a period of time, I want to have you by my side forever. Make sure that you are cuddled up in my arms all the time and be sure to never leave your side for predators. Guess what, beautiful.’’

‘’What?’’ I am looking at him keenly. I want to know what exactly is in him. I am sure he is just lying to me so, I pull my gaze away.

‘’I have no tiniest idea how to achieve all that. I don’t have the energy to ask mum because she will just make me feel invalid. I cannot ask Alia because she might end up lecturing me about it. How it doesn’t exist, how men are whores, hasty, reckless, and inattentive people. How she knows I will not make you happy. All that, baby, is so discouraging. I want to love you my own way, I want to make sure that I do things right but I am currently in the learning process. I should learn all that before I even decide to make you officially mine.’’ He pauses for a few seconds and I realize that he is pulling upon by the side of the road. ‘’I spoke to Anita, she is the only option I had left. She asked me to get you this.’’

I turn to look at him. He is holding a garland of flowers. They look lovely. I smile despite myself when I feel soothed in my heart. I don’t know if it’s a good thing but I am sure it is a good gesture. I have never received flowers from anyone. He is the first person to give me this beautiful bouquet and that to me, he is a job well done.

‘’Haven’t you had a girl before?’’

‘’Why would you ask that?’’

‘’You cannot respond to a question with a question.’’

‘’Okay, I have,’’ I swear the disappointment in me is on a higher level. I don’t know what I expected maybe I wanted to know that he is a virgin like me. I roll my eyes internally. These kinds of people don’t know what such words mean or don’t even have dignity. They are usually very careless when handling such things.

‘’Where is she?’’ I ask staring blankly at nothingness ahead of us.

‘’Who?’’ what a stupid question?

‘’Who are we talking about, Harry?’’

‘’Okay, beautiful. Are you ready to handle the truth?’’ I nod indecisively. If only I knew what would be coming my way. ‘’I promise I am going to tell you the whole story once we’re done with our plans for the day.’’ I didn’t know that we had plans for the day. I am just following Harry like a crazy idiot so it’s only him who has a plan. Not me.

‘’Why don’t you just tell me right now, Harrison?’’

‘’This will consume a lot of time. It will probably be so boring to you and in the end. You might end up leaving me. I don’t want that completely. It will break you and me apart.’’

‘’Is it that bad?’’

‘’That will depend on how you understand it. Can I ask you for a favour?’’ I nod. I am not sure if I wanna hear that story anymore.

‘’Sure.’’

‘’Can you not leave me? I know you may have not brought yourself to loving me, but after you hear my story and listen to how messed up I am, can you keep staying with me?’’

‘’Not sure about that, Harry.’’

He eyes me with curiosity. ‘’If you don’t promise to stay by my side, I will not tell you the story. I will just let you hang around until you are ready to stick by me.’’

‘’Are you threatening me?’’

‘’Take it however you want. Now, are you going to take these or should I throw them away?’’ wow! This guy is mad! I hate it when people treat me with threats.

‘’Throw them!’’ I dare him without thinking twice

I don’t know how he opens his door, walks out, and comes to open my side of the door.

‘’Come out, beautiful.’’ I get out without complaining at all. ‘’Please forgive me. Accept these flowers, I bought them with love and care. For you.’’ He makes to kneel but I hold him before he does.

This side of Harry. The humbly kneeling side is new to me. Well, I prefer this one, not the arrogant one who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself.

I take the flowers. He has made an effort and since no one has ever given me flowers before, I give him credit for the same. Whether this was his idea or not, I feel like he has tried. His arms are wide open and I walk into them without a second thought he hugs me and I do the same right back.

‘’Thank you.’’

‘’Beautiful,’’ he calls and I intensely look at him. ‘’promise not to leave me once I tell you about my life.’’ He nods when I keep staying quiet.

‘’I cannot promise you that, Harrison. You and I know that some of these things promising may lead to me lying to you. Do you want that?’’

‘’Which one?’’

‘’That I lie to you?’’ I tell him without batting an eyelid.

‘’Don’t I prefer being told the truth, don’t say anything to just please me and one more thing, don’t say no to me, beautiful.’’

Wow! A bunch of conditions. How do I even manage all that? Anyway, he leaves me no choice but to say yes. I wanna get rid of this story.

‘’Okay, I promise.’’

‘’You do?’’ I nod when he asks me that excitedly. I badly wanna hear what his life has been like. He pulls me into a hug. He doesn’t say a word for close to three minutes.

The heartbeats are the only noises I can hear. I smile inwardly when I remember how drastically my life is changing. So many new things are taking place in it.

‘’Thank you so much, Clarita.’’

Someone claps their hands dramatically behind us and when I pull away to look at them, I almost go crazy just seeing who is here.