Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Chapter 28.

Harry.

I am confused and muddled. Even though I swore never to let a girl confuse me, this one is definitely doing it. She is an exceptional woman. So many women have tried this but they failed in the process but her, she isn’t even working hard but she is making it through to my heart. In a special place. I wonder how she found herself in my heart, how she managed to make me fall for her and how she has made me feel this way. I hate when I feel so vulnerable, helpless and wobbly just because some girl is in my eyes . I roll my heart at the latter.

She isn’t just some girl, she is Clarita, the girl I love.

When I met Clarita at the bus station that fateful day, something seemed right with her. She was dirty and needed lots of grooming. Her hair was tangling with each other in an untidy way. She looked innocent, but one thing I noticed. She was super beautiful. She still is, with a pretty face and a great heart.

I have been spending so much time with her, my mum has complained a lot of times that she is taking up more of my time. That she is ugly and not brought up to our social standards. She claims that she is here for reasons not well known. I don’t know if that is true, that girl is just one of the innocent girls I have ever met.

I am a psychologist and trust me if and when I say that Clarita is one of the purest girls I have ever met. I have a much fucked up life and if she ever appeared to be one of the crazy mongrels, I would have known by now. She is just herself and her way of working motivates me.

When I drove her from home to here and she didn’t say a word to me, I was really worried and disturbed emotionally. My heart was and is still aching. I know what that means, I am getting attached to her. The feeling I have when she is close to me is tense and I don’t want to just take that for granted. I love her.

Then she ignored me when I asked if she will not talk to me. That’s not good either I had to walk myself to her cousin to come and calm her down. I don’t know what exactly they talked about but when she came out, Tabby never wanted to talk to me she walked away without even looking my way. She was angry and just left without a word. It keeps getting worse because I have been knocking on her door for close to five minutes, I can hear mumbles in there but I cannot tell what is going on there.

When she finally opens the door. She looks so immaculate and angelic. She is beautiful, I want her for my heart and my heart alone. I don’t want anyone else close to her.

I am such an idiot for listening to my mum. I am going to lose this beauty just because of mum’s silly thoughts and disrespect to her. I agree with mum that Clarita is poor and not up to our standards but does that matter? Does it, really? I have met those rich girls in life, most of them only want to hook up with me for what I have, who I am and the type of life that I live.

Mum claimed earlier that she insulted her. I know and I can feel in my heart that, that’s not true. I only reacted the way I did to please mum. I don’t know when I will ever learn to say no to her. To tell her when she is wrong and to make things right. Anita has told me a number of times that mum will mess me up one day but I have never taken her seriously. Alia said it a few hours ago and it is a shame that my Clarita had to confirm the truth in less than an hour.

Anita was so mad at me earlier. Saying that if I am not careful, mum will never let me have a woman of my choice. If she is always saying things about any other girl I bring home, then she will mess up my life and I will end up with nothing to show around.

She clears her heart awkwardly making me look at her absently. ‘’I hate it when the best you can do ogle.’’ She says gently bringing me back to my normal sense. This girl I swear I cannot avoid her. She is simple but very intelligent. I will have her whether mum likes or not.

‘’Umm … sorry, beautiful. I was just … ‘’

‘’Looking at the girl who insulted your mum? Don’t you think that’s a bad thing? And hey you are here when your mum in nursing injuries of being insulted?’’ She is now making me feel guilty. She is achieving it and that’s exactly what I deserve.

‘’I am sorry for what happened earlier, beautiful.’’ She nods without a word. I try to move further in but she asks me to stop. I swear I hadn’t noticed this authoritativeness. I don’t know exactly what she told mum but I am sure she just tried to defend herself from mum.

I keep taking small and unnoticeable steps towards her. She looks broken and I will forever blame myself for the same. I don’t wanna end up without the woman I love just because I have been listening too much to my mum.

I smile slightly at her, and I swear if my eyes aren’t playing a trick on me, then I am sure the shimmer in her eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen.

I open my arms, I am just trying my luck because I know she will not walk into them since she is mad at me but I got to try, anyway. There has never been the harm in trying and that’s the reason I watch in awe and wonderstruck as she hesitates for a bit but in the end runs to my arms.

I feel soothed, pacified, subdued and settled. I was truly hurting with her distant and knowing she wasn’t happy with me. I love this girl, no doubt about that.

I smile despite myself yet again. I don’t know if she has forgiven me for being an ass or not but I appreciate the fact that she is all cuddled in my arms. I pull her impossibly closer to me, I kiss her long and beautiful hair fondly I close my eyes and try to imagine me and her in a church having our marriage officiated before men and God, showing the whole world that it isn’t about what you have but who you are. That would be the best thing ever in my life. I want to talk to her. I want to hear what has been happening to her, ask about my mum, what happened in there, what they talked about but I think that’s gonna spoil the moment for me. I hear her heave a sigh of relief. Then she puts both her palms on my chest and pushes me away gently. She doesn’t do it roughly so I maintain my position.

In fact, I find that a bit amusing.

I look at her aspect, she is just gorgeous. I motion her to sit on the edge of her bed. She is about to protest because I watch as she shakes her head but I pull her slowly and make her sit on my laps after I sit. I hold her cheeks between my palms. I am so elated just by looking at her.

‘’Beautiful,’’ I call gently prompting her to look at me. ‘’Forgive my carelessness. I know I messed so much earlier. I am going to try as much as I can not to do it again.’’ Her expression shows that she distrusts me. I know I had achieved a little trust from her but I am super sure that I have just lost it.

‘’Why did you do it, Harry?’’ she asks standing up and pulling away from me making my arms drop on my thighs.

‘’Baby just call me …’’ she cuts me off. Every time she calls me Harry I know she’s mad at me.

‘’Harrison? Never!’’ she pauses a little. ‘’Again, don’t baby me! I am not your baby.’’ Well, if I say I don’t tense, then I am one of the biggest liars alive. She has never been so hard on me like this before.

‘’I …’’

‘’Stop this, Harry. Your mum said I am back in the city to ruin things, that I have plans that will never materialize. She slapped me right in the face. But why? What have I ever done to offend her? It was your fault that you took me there! I know I decided to talk to her, but I did it out of curiosity. I didn’t want to keep asking myself what she would have told me. You came in and found both of us in but guess what you did right in my face. You took your mother’s side, she didn’t even have to work hard for that. You proved madam Aliana’s words even before the day ended.’’

There is a serious ache in my heart when she explains that. I had no fucking idea that my mum had slapped her. That’s literally crazy.

‘’Mum slapped you?’’ she nods gently with teary eyes. ‘’And you didn’t even bother to … ‘’

‘’Tell you? At what point was I supposed to tell you that? You know very well that telling you that wasn’t your priority. You were well covered into knowing the fact that I insulted your mother than any other thing. I couldn’t tell you that because obviously you seemed to be her toy, you go with everything she tells you. Imagine you claim to love me but when I walked out you didn’t even follow me. You are wicked, Harry.’’

I make to hold her but she walks away backward. She is giving me a death glare and if eyes were able to shoot, she would have shot me using hers.

‘’Sorry about everything, beautiful,’’ I say uncertainly.

‘’You should probably leave. Your mum is your priority. What did she tell you, anyway?’’

‘’That you insulted her. That you aren’t good for me. That I should look for a woman of my social status. Something that I probably don’t agree with. I want to be with you, Clari …’’

‘’Clara for you, sir.’’ She interrupts. ‘’Please go look for women of your caliber. I don’t fit in all those, you have counted.

I shake my head. Jeez! I have messed up and I don’t know if she will ever forgive me for it. ‘’I am sorry,’’

I say and walk out without looking back at all.

I walk to Aliana’s study room and she is there looking all sad. The story of her son makes her a sad woman. My sister is a very good woman but the story of her son is making her miserable. I hope she manages to get him back.

‘’What is mama’s boy doing here?’’ she asks jokingly.

‘’You got to help me, sister,’’ I tell her quietly.

‘’What’s up, brother?’’ she asks concern covering her face.

‘’I messed up and now Clarita is mad at me.’’ She laughs slightly but wipes that away when she realizes that I am not laughing.

‘’I should have known that it was about her. Do you love her that much, brother?’’

‘’You cannot imagine just how much I love her. I didn’t realize that I did but now I do.’’

‘’What did you do?’’ I explain the whole situation to her. Her face creases when I mention that mum slapped her.

‘’What do I need to do?’’

‘’Just make sure that you never show a woman that your mother comes first. Not especially when your mother is on the wrong and you love the woman in question.’’

I nod. ‘’I didn’t even give her a chance to explain herself. I am messed up. And now, she doesn’t wanna see me.’’

‘’She’ll come around. Just give her some time, and she will be okay.’’

‘’I don’t think so. You got to help me.’’

‘’But how, brother?’’

‘’Maybe talk to her?’’ she shakes her head. Alia isn’t gonna help me.

‘’You and Clara gonna have to sort your own issues without anyone coming in. please be very careful with what your mum tells you. You can listen to her any time but don’t act on everything she says.’’ I nod. She is right. Mum can fool anyone I included any time but she cannot fool everyone every time I don’t wanna be in the former.

‘’Thank you for nothing, Alia,’’ I say jokingly and hug her giving her a slight kiss on her cheeks. Then I turn on my heels and walk out I am determined to do one thing though.

I am not leaving this place without asking for her forgiveness until I achieve it.