Chapter 30: Chapter 30
Dear Anybody
Dear Anybody
“My heart aches, it yearns for some sort of comfort. I've blocked out everything and everyone from my life,” the reason I knew not.
“My name is Daphne Jameson. First of all I don't really have the best of a childhood or what I would consider a normal childhood. I am one of those children who have parents, but feels as if they aren't even there,” but I wouldn’t want any sympathy.
My parents neglected me for the most important part of my childhood and abandoned. I did all sort of house chores and barely even had time to cater for myself. It wasn’t normal for me to get up to 8 or 12 hours of sleep. Through that my body suffered weakness and thinness.
“Sometimes when I'm alone, I talk to myself,” at a point I did drugs. I even stole my brother cigarettes, and would stay in my room until, when everyone else was out and smoke till I got tired enough to fall asleep.
It got to the point where I felt like my mind or my subconscious left my body, like I could see a reflection of myself. There I lost my mind. That was when my family acted like they cared. They took me to a doctor who put me on therapy to make me whole and referred to a psychologist to study my behavior.
My case only worsened, as I ran mental and couldn't do anything about it.
“Right now, I'm sitting at the far end of my room,” but the nurse didn't know I took her hairpin when she brought me back home this morning. She didn't see me removing it and now, “ I'm going to give myself the peace no one ever gave me.”
“No one ever cared about me, it was all a lie,” I would say If I wasn’t sick, they wouldn't give me any form of attention. “ It’s all pretense, in my next life, if ever I get to come back to the world again. Can I come as a flower in the house of one who is wealthy or can I come as something more worthy?” I would sometimes thought to myself.
Just something somebody would look after cared for and get closed to someone's heart.
Whatever!
“I have a lot to say, do you know how many times I have stood in front of the mirror and wondered what my life will be if none of this had happened, and if I was in a better family?” I questioned as, “All I seek now is comfort and peace. A place of peace where there's no burden and no hard work. No one in my family loves me, nor do they care, apart from sheltering me. There's nothing else they want to do for me.” That was the reality I could say in frankness.
“I want to leave, I really want to leave, because I don't even know who I am anymore and nobody cares about my well being. I'm a burden to my family and myself,” And should I say, that was why they brought me back home from the hospital.
“I hide myself from everyone, because I don’t want them to see me like this. I don’t know where this came from, what it is, or how to get rid of it. I'm a lost cause without a purpose,” I would admit in a regret.
SUFFERED FROM DEPERSONALIZATION AND DEREALIZATION DISORDER.