Chapter 38: Chapter 38

BOYS BECOME MEN

I sent Ben and Bea outside and eyed these damn guys in turn. Fourteen, fifteen, eighteen. Why did I still have to deal with such nonsense!?

Kora sighed. “Avan, you should have seen it. He-"

Arin cut him off. "Don't say anything."

"For God's sake, Arin! That's why you two are always hanging out! Just tell him what happened!" Kora pointed to me. "Who if not he could understand you in a moment like that!?"

"You're not supposed to say another word, do you hear?" Arin's voice was low and controlled, his gaze still fixed on me.

Taran just stood there as if dissolving.

"So it was about Syman again?" I surmised.

Nobody said anything. Finally Kora nodded. "As always."

I got up and leaned against my desk in front of the three of them. "Whose idea was it this time?"

Arin raised an eyebrow in response.

"And I idiot actually thought you understood what our conversation was about."

"Idiot's true." Arin growled.

Kora spun around. "Stop it, you stupid head!"

Taran grinned mirthlessly. "Isn't he telling the truth?"

I was getting really angry. I still didn't know what had really happened. But I said nothing. Didn't make a move. Taran looked at me for just a moment before immediately dropping his eyes. He'd never been the type to say things like that without immediately feeling guilty.

Arin sighed. "Come on Ava. everything hurts Let's just get it over with, shall we?"

i grinned "First you act up and then you give in? And you want to be a knight?"

"I'm smart enough to know when I don't have a chance."

Kora looked at him angrily. "But not when to shut up."

I looked at all three again and shook my head.

"Did Mitchel do this to you?"

Arin nodded surrendered.

"So you were with him?"

"I just brought Syman there. When I got into that damn shack, he was beating Enna. And when he saw me, he grabbed me and threw me and Syman on the ground."

"Did he hit you too?"

Arin nodded in embarrassment. "I fought back. And then it escalated, I think."

"And you couldn't tell me that right away? You have to stare like a fool in front of you?"

The fourteen-year-old nodded ironically. "After all, it's really no feat to be beaten up by a drunk."

Oh for heaven's sake! That dog and his damn pride. How often he had gotten into trouble because of that, but it was never a lesson for him.

Taran glared at me. "What are you rolling your eyes at, hey?"

"Be so good as to keep going in your anger, will you?"

Kora stepped in. "Anyway, that's where we found Arin."

"And he continued with you?"

"What do you think? We fought back. And it was probably a little too wild. But no one touches any of us anymore..."

Taran smiled. "Except for Avan, of course."

Enough. Finally.

Kora and Arin glared at Taran. Once again it was Kora who took my side. "What's the matter with you, hey?"

"Go outside." I murmured to the two of them, not taking my eyes off Taran.

Without another word, the two hobbled away.

At fifteen, Taran was just up to my shoulder. Nevertheless, he was already beginning to grow properly and get more manly limbs. His arms were more muscular than last year and his face lost its childishness.

"So?" I began, examining his tense jaw.

"So what? Who was that looking for the conversation?"

"Well, apparently you can't take my voice at the moment. I thought you should say what you seem to have to say to me first."

Taran bit his cheek in embarrassment. Still not willing to say anything. So I waited. And waited. No matter how long, I would not give in. This passive aggressive behavior was simply unbearable.

Taran looked up after a while. "I don't like that you just don't miss an opportunity to prove how superior you are to me. I hate that I..."

"The you what?"

"That I just can't get along with you." He admitted dejectedly and shrugged his shoulders. "I was just embarrassed."

A little embarrassed, he lifted the corners of his mouth in a shy smile. I replied. He shifted from one foot to the other.

"Okay, so that's choppy too?" Taran confirmed with a nod. "Great. Then tell Arin: If he comes near Enna's hut again, he'll end up in the dungeon."

"It really wasn't his fault, Avan."

"I know, but he can't control himself either. If he hadn't allowed himself, I would have grabbed Mitch..."

Taran chuckled. "We turned your plan upside down, yes? Damn Ava. Can you even sleep with your wife without a complicated and elaborate plan?"

For a moment I was shocked that my little brother could say something like that. But I decided to treat him like a growing man. So I smiled. "Maybe she likes it."

Taran grinned rudely. "You're not fooling me, you can't want it to be that boring..."

That went too far for me and I raised my eyebrows, still grinning. "Go drink your milk, brat!"

Taran bowed gallantly and walked away, whistling. Because of two sentences he had to ignore me for days!?

48

THE BLESSING

I guess my good intentions weren't good enough. I continued to wait in vain for the next four years. Arin continued to be Syman's closest ally. Shortly after Syman turned four, we found Enna dead in her hut. Blood trickled from the corners of her mouth, she was skinny and there was enough evidence to suggest that Mitch had killed her.

We immediately got a sheriff to hang Mitch. In fact, the sheriff and the judge he brought with him acquitted him. So Syman had to continue to stand and tremble under Mitch's terrible hand. Now more than ever. Because Enna was no longer there.

Arin hadn't been himself that day. He was so angry that he grabbed Syman and just rode away. Taran and Kora gathered him up and begged him to bring the little one back.

But Syman was always at the castle. Because Arin seemed very similar to his big brother. He took Syman as his page. So Syman always had an excuse not to be home.

A full year after I gave up, after Avan's thirtieth birthday, I finally got pregnant.

When I was really sure, I told Avan. He didn't seem pleased. He turned around abruptly, put a hand on one of the pillars of the bed and slowly shook his head. I felt nauseous from fear. Wasn't he happy?

But when he turned back, he kissed me. Radiant like I've never seen him before. His cheeks were wet and his laughter was boisterous.

The next few weeks were a nightmare for me. The whole castle got excited. No one let me lift a finger, and begged me to stay in bed in my closet often.

On a bitterly cold, snowy morning, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. She didn't scream. Only her fists were swinging in the air angrily.

Avan beamed, carefully took it from me and happily tilted his head back. "Thank you God. Thanks very much! For a girl and for being healthy and my wife alive!"

He stroked her bald head. Almost reverent.

"The fact that she doesn't scream reminds me of you." I whispered wearily, thinking on the day I found out that Avan always kept his cool, even when he was almost upset. As was his daughter.

Avan beamed at her face. As if he just couldn't take his eyes off her. "She looks like my mother. And she'll probably be blonde!"

"Probably." His hand gripped mine. His eyes shimmered treacherously. "So you're glad we got one after all?"

"Oh, you have no idea how..."

We named our angel Helena. I was advised to have a wet nurse, but neither I nor Avan agreed. So I kept Helena with me almost every second. The rest of the time, Avan had his child with him.

When the guys saw the girl, everyone was moved. They were happy and hardly dared to touch her. Michel carved her a little rattle and Eric bought an expensive little cradle.

And when Avan and I needed a little rest, Taran and Arin had kidnapped our child.

The next three years were probably the best of my life. But also the ones where I argued the most with Avan. Where he was strict and disciplined towards his brothers, he couldn't even say No to Helena. We often clashed, but we also had great success with new ideas and plans.

Suddenly, the White Knight was the most important castle in all of England. Everyone wanted to send their sons to be trained by Ben to become knights. The brothers were known everywhere. By far the worst reputation had our coffin nail and baby Arin...

The twenty-two year old hasn't been held back since his twenty-first birthday. He was everywhere and nowhere. Grabbed every woman he liked and did whatever he felt like doing. Always with him was eight-year-old Syman, who had meanwhile become his squire.

At thirty-three years old, Avan was still the undisputed lord of the pack. He was the strongest, tallest, and more deliberate of them all. And he lost none of his young looks.

And when he frolicked with his child, you couldn't tell if he was twenty-three or thirty-three.

Helena frowned adorably and cocked her head thoughtfully. "Why, father?"

We sat in the small paddock and watched Eric lead the mares and foals around. Helena asked me every question her little blond boy hatched.

She was just asking me why you couldn't ride a deer.

“Because the deer are too narrow and small. Imagine Uncle Ben in his heavy armor. The poor deer would collapse..."

I found it fascinating what ideas she sometimes had. Especially since you could see she was using her head to do it. She always thought along when you talked to her about her plans.

She nodded thoughtfully and struggled to her feet. Her dress only had a thin band around her chest, otherwise the light blue fabric fell loosely around her narrow little body. "Will you buy me a deer, father?"

Laughing, I picked her up on my hip. "No, angel."

"But I don't wear armor."

"No, you're right. But a deer is wild. It needs the forest and its scent. Otherwise it goes in."

Her bright blue eyes lit up. "Like Arin?"

Lately, hearing Arin's name made me feel a little nauseous. Not least out of concern. I rarely knew where he was.

Helena bit her lip. "Did I say something wrong, father?"

I smiled with difficulty. "No. You're probably right. Presumably Arin can actually die if he has to stay here."

Together we walked back to the castle. New questions kept pouring out of her. I often thought that she would ask at any moment why the sky was blue.

Taran met us at the fountain and gently tugged on Helena's strands. "No! Leave that uncle Taran!"

He smiled maliciously. "You're already a princess, aren't you?"

"No, stop it!" she pouted and snuggled into me.

"Leave her alone, Taran." I growled.

"Of course, Av. As always."

I knew my brothers laughed at me because I couldn't be strict with Helena and I coddled her. Some said I was too old, some said it was because of my childhood, others said it was because she was a girl. But nothing is right.

In fact, I didn't think I should treat Helena the way I treated my brothers. She wasn't too proud to obey. And she did. without exception. It was just that she found it very difficult to cope when things didn't go according to her wishes. Despite this, she always did what I asked of her. Maybe not without sulking or angry crying, but still...

When I put her down, she staggered around a little among the flowers and looked at them.

"Did you want something from me?"

Taran nodded, grinning. At twenty-three, he was a handsome man. Strong and cunning. And yet so deserted when Arin stole away again. “Arin and Syman are back. Syman is with Kora and I. And Arin..."

I struggled to stay calm. "Yes?"

"He has ladies to visit. In his chamber, of course."

Naturally! What else? When Arin wasn't eating or around the horses, he lay with a lady and while away the time. Assuming he's been to the castle.

Helena frowned adorably and cocked her head thoughtfully. "Why, father?"

We sat in the small paddock and watched Eric lead the mares and foals around. Helena asked me every question her little blond boy hatched.

She was just asking me why you couldn't ride a deer.

“Because the deer are too narrow and small. Imagine Uncle Ben in his heavy armor. The poor deer would collapse..."

I found it fascinating what ideas she sometimes had. Especially since you could see she was using her head to do it. She always thought along when you talked to her about her plans.

She nodded thoughtfully and struggled to her feet. Her dress only had a thin band around her chest, otherwise the light blue fabric fell loosely around her narrow little body. "Will you buy me a deer, father?"

Laughing, I picked her up on my hip. "No, angel."

"But I don't wear armor."

"No, you're right. But a deer is wild. It needs the forest and its scent. Otherwise it goes in."

Her bright blue eyes lit up. "Like Arin?"

Lately, hearing Arin's name made me feel a little nauseous. Not least out of concern. I rarely knew where he was.

Helena bit her lip. "Did I say something wrong, father?"

I smiled with difficulty. "No. You're probably right. Presumably Arin can actually die if he has to stay here."

Together we walked back to the castle. New questions kept pouring out of her. I often thought that she would ask at any moment why the sky was blue.

Taran met us at the fountain and gently tugged on Helena's strands. "No! Leave that uncle Taran!"

He smiled maliciously. "You're already a princess, aren't you?"

"No, stop it!" she pouted and snuggled into me.

"Leave her alone, Taran." I growled.

"Of course, Av. As always."

I knew my brothers laughed at me because I couldn't be strict with Helena and I coddled her. Some said I was too old, some said it was because of my childhood, others said it was because she was a girl. But nothing is right.

In fact, I didn't think I should treat Helena the way I treated my brothers. She wasn't too proud to obey. And she did. without exception. It was just that she found it very difficult to cope when things didn't go according to her wishes. Despite this, she always did what I asked of her. Maybe not without sulking or angry crying, but still...

When I put her down, she staggered around a little among the flowers and looked at them.

"Did you want something from me?"

Taran nodded, grinning. At twenty-three, he was a handsome man. Strong and cunning. And yet so deserted when Arin stole away again. “Arin and Syman are back. Syman is with Kora and I. And Arin..."

I struggled to stay calm. "Yes?"

"He has ladies to visit. In his chamber, of course."

Naturally! What else? When Arin wasn't eating or around the horses, he lay with a lady and while away the time. Assuming he's been to the castle.

Actually, I should have noticed that Arin was here. Taran seemed more exuberant than usual. "How is Syman?"

"Cheeky as always. But healthy."

"Good."

My brother cocked his head slightly. "Are you bitter, brother?"

"Go away and send Syman and Bea to me."

Taran nodded absently, but stayed where he was. "What do you think? How long will he stay?"

I almost laughed ironically. Let's be honest: The years in which I was close to Arin were over. It was nobody's fault. One day it was just like that. Although he still came to me when he lost his footing or sought advice from me. He and I had never been able to just become friends. I always had to be the big brother and he was always the little one.

That not only made me bitter at times, but also him. We often argued for days and weeks. Just because we were the way we were...

Taran finally disappeared after all. So I took my child and led her to my study. There she jumped into Bea's arms from afar.

"So you heard it already." She murmured while Helena fell asleep on her shoulder.

"Can you tell me that?"

"I will." She put a hand briefly on my cheek. Her eyes sad. She couldn't deal with Arin anymore. The fact that we often argued and that he only messed around made her angry beyond measure not to take what he says to heart again. After all, you also have a sharp tongue."

I sat down in my chair and wiped my forehead. "I'm not sure I even want to talk to him this time. Last time we didn't part on good terms either. And I'm so tired of these arguments!"

The door opened slowly and a skinny figure entered the room. Eight-year-old Syman walked in and quietly stepped in front of my table. "You wanted to see me, cousin?"

"However. How was the trip?"

Syman nodded shyly. "Nice, thanks."

"And where is Arin?"

Syman smiled and shrugged. "I'm his squire, not the other way around. I never know where he is."

I raised an eyebrow in disapproval and Syman swallowed. Just Syman didn't know where Arin was? That was an outright lie.

"Really?" My voice was low and controlled.

"Yes, Lord." Syman ran a hand through his hair, a quirk he'd learned from Arin.

"Do you really want to lie to me?" Without any remorse? Right in the face? My cousin wasn't usually like that either.

Syman looked down and said nothing more. And that was dearer to me than any lie.

"Then be so good as to tell him to come to me. Not just tonight or tomorrow or when he thinks he's going to stoop. But immediately."

Syman swallowed again and nodded. "He'll be busy, Avan."

"I do not care. When you come to a castle, you show respect to the lord of the castle and at least greet him."

The squire nodded. "Is there anything else you want me to tell him?"

"No. But I want you to greet your father."

Syman flinched slightly and looked at me almost pleadingly. Damn you, Enna. Why didn't you come to me with your boys? Why did you have to risk leaving the boy alone with Mitch?

"The sooner you do it, the less reason he has to complain." Although he doesn't need to. But Syman always protected Mitch. He often felt that all his injuries were his own fault.

"Yes, indeed. But he's always so stressed around that time of day." He probably meant drunk.

"Then take Arin with you if you want."

Syman smiled shyly. "Do you want father to kill me?"

However... After a short wink, the boy turned and hurried away.

Bea sat on the edge of my table. She still hadn't managed to bridge the gap between her and Syman. "I wish Mitch would die..."

I nodded and looked at my daughter. It could never occur to me to treat her so badly. Starving them or imprisoning them...

Ever since Helena was born, I found it increasingly difficult to find excuses for my own father. So I almost understood why Arin always pushed it away.

"Any idea what to do about him?"

"I can't do anything, Bea. Mitch is Syman's father. Any court, even the king, would say that a father should beat his son. So that they become men."

Bea shook her head in disgust. Her black mane swung around her narrow waist. "Barbaric."

"Don't worry anymore. Arin has Syman under his thumb almost constantly. Mitch rarely sees his son."

"Which makes him all the more bitter!" Helena whined while she was sleeping and Bea rocked her gently. "You have to do something..."

"Give me an approach and I'll investigate."

After a moment's thought, she murmured, "Barbaric..."

Syman wasn't thrilled. Arin would rip his head off. Still, he was relieved to have escaped Avan's stern gaze. It was hard to hide anything from this cousin when this people saw through, as if they were as transparent as parchment with light...

He knocked as hard as he could. "Arin!"

"Pack yourself!" he growled immediately.

Syman grimaced in insult. Without another word, he just started banging hard on the door with both fists.

He heard energetic footsteps, then the door was thrown open and his half-naked cousin was standing in front of him. His expression so dark and angry that Syman almost felt intimidated. If he didn't already know Arin so well, he probably would have run away.

Arin crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow.

Syman grinned. "Hi!"

"Are you up for a beating, squire?" His voice was thick and growling.

A woman, holding only a cloth in front of her chest, snuggled up to Arin's right arm and ran a hand down his chest. "Then get it over with and come back to us..." she purred into Arin's neck.

Arin didn't even look at her but at his squire. He was surprised at how light the woman's skin was... And how much of it he could see...

"Syman, you know I don't want to be disturbed when I go to my room..."

"I know, Arin..." Syman had lost the thread. The woman rubbed her hip against Arin's and purred a little again. Arin didn't make a face.

With a jerk, his employer pushed the woman away again and leaned into the door frame with a sinister smile. "Better?"

The eight-year-old was embarrassed at how red he had blushed and built her up in front of his cosui. "Avan wants to see you right away!"

Arin shrugged, smiled mirthlessly, and took a step back into the room. "But he's unlucky."

In the next moment the door was closed again.

Did I know, I told him so! the boy fumed until he remained seated on the top of the steps. Behind him lay Arin's, Taran's, and Kora's rooms, like a small library.

He sighed and put his chin in his hand. I have to go to father. Whether I want to or not, I have to go to him... he thought. Goosebumps trickled down his back.

But he pulled himself together, left the castle and marched towards his father's estate towards his home. You could hardly call it home. birthplace, maybe. But at home?

From the dark little shack, smoke rises from the chimney. The old bench in front of it, on which his mother used to sit, was rotten and could hardly support its own weight. The small shed that held a stable and the thin fence in front of it gave Syman shivers and goosebumps.

An old dairy cow and a pig were tied to the fence. A young maid, Berit, came out of the stable with a bundle of laundry under her arm.

In front of the door he stopped and took a deep breath. please sleep Please be eating. Please leave me today...

Only after long, agonizing minutes did the eight-year-old dare to go into the house. It smelled of beer and sweat. His father stood by the fireplace, the boy had to admire his broad shoulders and his firm footing over and over again. Even if he always shook at the same time with fear of having done something wrong again.

"Hello, father." Syman tried to keep his voice strong.

His father slowly turned around, looked down at him and seemed angry. The eight-year-old felt his bladder respond.

"Where have you been?"

"I was in Yorkshire with my employers, sir."

His father slowly approached him. "Close the door, brat."

Reluctantly, he turned his back on Mitch and when he turned back, his father was standing so close to him that he had to tilt his head back to look at him.

"You were away with Arin, disobeying my orders."

"Please, sir, that is not true..." Syman nervously gripped the hem of his doublet. "Arin is my employer. If I, as his squire, do not follow him, then I am dismissed from his service."

In a flash, Syman caught a slap in the face.

"What do I care!? Did someone ask me if I want my son to become a knight!? I want you to tell Arin that you are no longer in his service starting today."

The boy felt nauseous and looked down. "I beg you..."

Mitch grabbed Syman by the collar and pulled him so far that the boy was standing on his toes. "Did you just contradict me!?"

"Please, father! I'll do whatever you want, just let me be a squire! Please!"

Syman flew into the table behind Mitch and landed hard on the floor. But his father immediately picked him up, threw him against the nearest wall and stamped on him.

"You ungrateful piece of dirt! So you owe obediently to Arin, but not to your father!?"

Arin never treated me the way you do, either, but Syman bit back his answer. He swallowed hard and felt it hurt to breathe.

His father grabbed the long stick from the mantelpiece and approached again. He lashed out at Syman, but Syman pulled his leg back in time. He was shaking so miserably that he hoped Arin or Taran or whoever would never see him like that.

Mitch grinned mirthlessly. "Want to mess with me?"

He grabbed Syman's black mop of hair, dragged him to the table and threw him on it. Mitch stood beside the boy, his hand in his hair, and raised his cane.

Syman heard the whistle and braced himself for the inevitable. Tears welled up from his closed eyes, the shaking became uncontrollable. Then the door banged open.

"Drop the stick immediately..."

Syman wanted to sink into the ground. It was Arin's voice. When the stick hit the ground, the boy dared to look up. Arin was standing right behind Syman, his sword at his uncle's throat.

"Let go of him and go back."

Mitch obeyed with undisguised hatred. But the hand that gripped the weak, skinny boy disappeared. Arin's hand gently but firmly gripped Syman's fragile, thin arm and pulled him upright. Only then did he lower his weapon.

Syman was terribly embarrassed and wanted Shrine. He didn't want Arin to see him crying and shaking. And then in such a humble situation...

"Why are you hitting him this time? Because you forgot him drunk that he had your permission to ride to Yorkshire with me?"

"Do I owe a snot like you an accountability?"

"However. Den Syman is my squire and can scarcely atone for your transgressions."

Mitch grinned again, that mirthless smile that made Syman tremble even worse. Too often he saw it in connection with pain. Arin let go of him gently.

"Wait at the castle, Syman."

"Arin, I'm staying." It was too embarrassing to hide behind Arin. His being here was humiliating enough...

"You go. Right now." his older cousin growled relentlessly.

Mitch didn't have to touch Syman, his gaze fascinated the little guy, as if there were a thin chain around his neck, the other end of which Mitch held tightly in his hand. "Don't you dare walk out that door."

But Arin was more stubborn. He shoved Syman, with no particular emphasis, but the little guy stumbled slightly outside.

"I'm warning you, Syman." Mitch growled, but the boy was already gone.