Chapter 36: Chapter 36

CLOSED MATTER

I sat in a tub of warm water. The fight with Avan had worn me out. Even though I knew I didn't stand a chance against him, it would have been nice to defeat him.

The door swung open quietly and Avan entered, mug in hand. He eyed me for just a moment, allowed himself a mischievous smile, and placed the pitcher on the mantelpiece.

“Maybe we should have wood cut. Autumn is coming and then we'll be glad if we have something to heat this old castle."

"As you wish..."

His grin seemed to challenge me as he turned to face me and put his hand on his hip. "Are you resentful, Bea?"

I grinned reluctantly. "No. Just a bad loser."

Avan, as tall and elegant as ever, squatted down beside me and took my hand in both of his.

"Are you refusing to share my bed again today?"

I swallowed hard. Because I longed for him. After everything that defines Avan. His stubborn obsession with taking his responsibilities seriously. But still being so playful and boisterous with me.

So I decided to pull myself together.

"No... If you don't laugh at me, I'll be happy to come back..."

"Oh Bea, when you lie in my bed I have other things on my mind than laughing."

I grinned stupidly. After all, I wanted the same thing for him as he probably wanted for me. But I was still kind of shy.

"Bea... talk to me. We've been best friends for two years. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

"What makes you think something's bothering me?"

Where I didn't waste a word about it!

Avan cocks his head slightly, his face dead serious. I appreciated that it wasn't the same serious expression he sometimes gave to the little rascals of this castle.

"Are you homesick, Bea? Would you like me to ride home with you next month?"

A bad conscience came over me. I didn't want him to think like that. That's why I didn't say anything.

"No, I'm really fine." I straightened my shoulder and forced a smile on my face. With the other hand not holding Avan, I stroked his cheek Sheep..."

"Bea..." He wasn't satisfied. I could tell he wasn't finished talking. But I...

"Please Ava. Don't worry any longer..."

He was quiet for a moment, examining my face before silently and almost imperceptibly nodding.

"Up to you. But I want you to know that no matter how much my little brothers, the castle, the thralls, or my other duties require of me, nothing means more to me than your well-being... Promise me you'll come to me no matter what I do just doing."

My heart beat faster and my throat tightened. Nothing meant more to me than telling him what was bothering me. To tell him how much I care about him.

But I said nothing. I managed a mute nod and clutched his hand tighter. I clutched his sleeve with my free hand.

"Would you like a sip of wine? It's old and very spicy. I thought we might want a drink."

"Many Thanks."

When Avan got up, I rolled myself in a thick, stiff cloth and sat next to him on the chest. We talked about everything and nothing for quite a while. But no longer about my state of mind. It was casual and relaxed. It was exactly what I had longed for for so long.

When my cheeks started to turn pink from all the wine, my tongue got loose and suddenly everything got a little funnier, I stood in front of Avan. I dropped the cloth, enjoyed his roving gaze and took his hand.

"Just for the record... That wasn't my intention."

I knew that. But I felt light, almost redeemed, and the shame was finally gone...

"Do I have to beg? After my defeat, even that?"

Avan obediently followed me to our bed. "Never."

It was wonderful. And so good. After that we lay together again sober. I lay on his chest and Avan played with my hair.

"Avan?"

"Hm..?"

"Are you still awake?"

"mh... still."

Giggling like a silly girl, I lifted my head and looked at him. He started to smile and showed me his dimple.

"Shall we fight again later? I think that's good for us."

He returned my sneaky smile conspiratorially.

"Anytime, beloved."

The next day everything was almost the same. Only a small black-haired boy was missing. And you could feel that everywhere. But today was the day Avan decided to change that.

After breakfast we discussed again what to do and fanned out. Every brother was needed.

Taran, Kora, Michel and Joe rode with me, others with Avan. All had swords, mail, and thick gloves. We initiated no servants, no serfs, no servants. No one should know about this matter.

Eric and Taran lined up the horses in front of the main building. Avan stepped outside with me, kissed me goodbye and we mounted.

Now Taran rode before us. He was the only one who knew the way well and knew where we could best arrive unnoticed.

We stopped in front of a big village. Almost a city. We pitched a small, tranquil camp. A little far from the village. Taran took care of the horses.

"Would you like me to accompany you, Bea?" Kora took my chain mail carefully and placed it with my gloves and my bag.

Michel joined us. He and I became something like friends. Because we were both the same age and we both loved the woods. "I'm going with her."

Kora lifted her chin in disappointment. "I want to see Arin though!"

Michel rolled his eyes angrily. "I do not care. Do you think we're going for a beer? This is about something bigger."

"You're only two years older than me. So don't play like that!"

Joe, the oldest of our group, spun around impatiently, accidentally throwing Taran to the ground. "Now stop it! It's hard to bear with you!"

I helped Taran to his feet and grinned. "I think we should go, Michel."

"Who's there!?" the young guard didn't recognize me. His robe was light blue.

"A Rotter of the King. I have a message for Sir Wales."

"Really?" The voice and eyes showed admiration. He looked at me very differently than before and took a step aside appreciatively. "Please, sir. Come in, I'll lead you to him."

I easily spurred my horse and followed the young man. We dismounted in the inner courtyard of what was then Kaufmannsviller. Two grooms came and took the two horses away.

"The old sod is having a good time, isn't he?" Ben eyed the fountain in the center of the yard. Two dogs were frolicking, a boy was hurrying from door to door. Women were walking about in small groups, gossiping.

"I think that's the villa that father gave him back then. Very well preserved I think."

Ben shook his head in disgust. "Shameless..."

Ever since the incident with Kora, Ben thought less of the old man than usual.

The young fellow in the habit led us into the villa, up a flight of stairs to the study. Two padded wide chairs stood in it. A low polished Oriental table stood between them. Rare glass wine goblets stood on a narrow shelf. Thick tapestries protected against the coming drafty wind. I was even able to discover books that one could hardly afford in a normal white way. Benedikt grinned mischievously at a painting on the wall. It was large and showed Henry Campbell and myself after receiving my knighthood.

For a brief moment, Ben and I stared spellbound at the big picture. It was the first time I saw him since his death... Even if it was just a picture. I was instantly dying. oh father Why did you want to follow mother so soon. why did you leave me alone

Ben grabbed my forearm, continued to stare at Benedict's back and swallowed hard himself. He was right. I pulled myself together and saw the young Kutten step lazily towards Benedict. He turned around immediately.

He seemed to recognize us from the corner of his eye and addressed us directly. His wicked grin still present.

"Sir, Campbell. How can I help?"

"I'm here to get my father's will."

"But I don't have it."

It took a lot of effort not to roll my eyes. I really wanted it badly. This tiresome topic should finally come to an end!

"It is my right. So give it here before I have to come with the Sherif."

Benedikt's grin widened. "Oh Avan. What was the point? Even if I hand you the will. It will not invalidate the contract. Arin stays where he is."

I knew that well enough myself. But that was only half the battle.

Ben and I drew our swords. The young guy turned pale. "Oh no..."

Benedict took a step back. My father's image of him as if he wanted to hide behind him.

"Avan! ben! What are you going to do!?"

I tilted my head smugly. "What the? Don't we look like we're just dropping by for tea?"

Benedikt turned to the trembling fellow. "Get help!"

"I'm not walking past those two!"

"Smart. Very smart." I grinned and didn't take a step. "Look out, baldy. Give me what's due to me."

The door opened behind me. I recognized from the step that it was Erik who, like no one else, had penetrated like a shadow and scoured the villa.

"Eric."

"Avan."

Benedict's face turned red. He knew his head was practically in the noose.

"How is it?" I asked without turning around.

“Samuel is still with the books. I didn't find anything."

"Then keep looking. Send anyone who looks suspicious. Tell him his master wishes to speak to him. We'll take it over then."

"In order."

Ben grinned maliciously at Benedict. "Scared, old boy?"

Eric disappeared like the shadow he was. Since Ben was a knight like no other, I gave him the double-swinging door and stepped in front of my advisor.

"Sit down. We have things to discuss."

The bakery smelled of fresh bread, of course. It was warm and clean. As we entered, a small, skinny boy was kneeling on the floor and scrubbing politely.

"Sir!" he called. When no one appeared, he sighed annoyed. "Sir, customers!"

"Really lousy service..." Michel grumbled and poked my side with a smile.

Arin stiffened for a moment. He got up and turned her to us in disbelief. His knees and sleeves were wet from kneeling in the wet. Smiling broadly, he walked up to us and grinned.

"Not every guest deserves our attention."

"Flail!" laughed Michel. Arin just made no move to hug or show any pleasure other than a warm smile. With that lovely Campbell dimple.

"Arin, don't yell like that again through my shop." growled a menacing voice behind a thin wall. Then the plump man appeared. "If you want something from me, you kindly come to me!"

When he recognized me again, Anders fell silent. Ari smiled. "This is my brother Michel and my sister-in-law, you surely know, sir."

"Go to your chamber, Arin."

He turned to us reluctantly. "Do I have to say goodbye again?"

I brushed his hair back from his forehead. "No."

He walked out relieved. Anders offered us the same path that Arin had just taken. We climbed the stairs into a small dusty beige room. A wide table with chairs and a few shelves were all that was on it.

"Sit down. Wine?"

"No thank you." I exchanged a look with Michel. "We're here for Arin."

Suddenly someone behind us gasped, startled. The miller's wife stood behind us and possessively grabbed Arin by the sleeves of his dusty robe and pulled him in front of her.

"Renta..." Anders began. But Renta wasn't willing to listen.

"Never! Arin, say you want to stay with mother."

We all saw that Arin purposely said nothing. He probably didn't mean to offend her. But she didn't give up.

"Arin! Tell it! Tell your father!"

Michel looked Arin in the eye and opened his hand invitingly. "Come to us."

How should he do that? Poor little one was trapped...

Renat cramped around Arin's sleeve, but he simply tore himself free. The shirt tore, but Arin stepped up to us confidently.

With a slightly open mouth I stared at the slim guy. Where did this power come from? Could it really just be from the stable work?

Anders gently took his wife's arm, his gaze on us. "You got what you wanted. Go."

"Not quite, sir." Michel smiled shyly. "We still need the contract."

BUREAUCRACY

Ben grew impatient and approached us from the window. "Say it you old moron! Keep it up and you'll regret it!"

I grinned at Benedikt's angry yet fearful expression. Every child in my castle and the villages around knew that Ben was the most skilled of my knights. And when he threatened something, he always carried it out meticulously. "Are you really going to upset him?"

I put my hands on my hips and looked down at my former advisor in his padded chair. He looked like a sinner as he glanced past me at Henry Campbell. He looked at the painting as if Father were a god. "How good that you don't have to experience your eyeball like this..."

A heated moment boiled up in me, but I suppressed an outburst as usual. "Where are my documents, old boy."

Benedikt crossed his arms in the light blue sleeves.

The door opened and Eric entered with Samuel. I looked at the two, but even without having asked I knew the answer. Again they had found nothing.

Ben, who normally wasn't so loud and short-tempered, grabbed the old man by the collar of his robe and hauled him to his feet. "Do you want me to bang your head against a wall too, making your nose blood spurt?"

Eric walked over to them and put a hand on Ben's shoulder. Meanwhile, my brain was working hard. Some thought crossed my mind, an idea or a suspicion. But I couldn't put my finger on it yet...

Because of something Eric had said, Ben dropped the grinning old man back into his chair. Eric looked at me somberly. "He has dozens of pictures of our parents and us."

My brain was always working at full speed. Let me think... wait a minute...

Samuel huffed. "Almost disgusting how much he adored father... Is that why you never had a wife? Did you warm my father's bed? Hm? Was that why it was so sacred to you?"

I angrily turned to him and slapped him in the face, causing Samuel to fall to the ground. If I hadn't been so deep in thought anyway, if my beloved father wasn't hanging on the wall behind me and my sadness suddenly lurking at me like a wild animal, I might just have snapped at him. But no one was ever allowed to talk about my father like that. Never.

Startled, Samuel clutched his cheek and stared at me in shock. "Sorry..."

Benedict frowned angrily. “There was hardly a man as special as Henry Campbell. And before his age and fear for your mother changed him, he was just and gracious. I have seen his actions, heard his reasons and plans with my own ears. That's why I still worship him after his death. I have the pictures because none of you appreciate them!"

I can't swallow or think for a moment... I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Saw myself again sitting in front of my father on his horse. How he explained to me how to read tracks. How he taught me to read and write. So patient with the arithmetic with me. That I even got to sleep in my parents' bed one night because I missed him so badly. His warm laugh when I contradicted, with childish logic...

I frantically fought the images in my head, turned away and hoped no one had noticed my wet cheeks...

Without really noticing, but to loud protests from Benedict, I grabbed the frame of the man-high painting and lifted it off the wall. It was difficult and my already trembling arms threatened to go weak. But I managed to put it on the floor with the picture on the tiles and worked on the back.

"Stop it, Ava! You're destroying it!" Benedict flailed to squeeze between Eric and Ben. But the two were an impenetrable wall.

The back panel of the frame creaked and actually cracked open. Benedikt suddenly pulled out a small knife. Completely beside himself, he thrust it into Eric's arm and tried to ram it in Ben's stomach. He grabbed his arm and threw him away.

He fell to the ground in front of Samuel. Sam immediately put his foot on his armed hand, wrestled with the knife for a moment, and threatened the bald guy with his own weapon.

"Are you alright?" I was amazed at how monotonous my voice sounded. My brothers nodded.

"You too?" Eric mumbled. His look told me he was talking about something different than me.

Impatient, I didn't answer and jerked the thin wooden wall of the frame from its anchorage and stared at my find.

Documents, purse, a dagger and a booklet. Henry Campbell's Journal and Notes.

"I she..." My voice still sounded indifferent. Not like we'd finally made it.

Benedict sat on the floor and frowned. "Are you going to steal from me now? My gold, my dagger..."

"I possess something that is certainly foreign to you: a sense of honor and morality. I'll only take what's mine."

"And with that you go to the king, yes? Or the sheriff? Fine. And you don't care what your father wanted, right?"

A dark and cheerless smile crept onto my face. "Fear?"

Eric and Ben stepped closer and scanned each piece of parchment, putting unimportant things aside.

"You know, what follows now is simply Benedict. Be careful." I crossed the space between us and stopped in front of the old man, who had scrambled to his feet. "I'll destroy all the documents you drew up without my knowledge. Including the contract with the miller. I'll get Arin back, I discharge you with honor because I have built a successful project. Without the king, without the sheriff, without a scandal for you and your house."

Benedikt eyed me skeptically. "And what do I have to do for it?"

"You'll never let yourself be seen on my land again. You go without fuss and without fuss. We're going to pretend nothing happened and you're going to stick to the deal you made with my father. For that you will never bother me again and never turn your old eyes on my brothers or me again. The that father would have wanted."

Benedict was speechless. He had never considered that father hadn't wasted the rest of his life getting rid of my brothers. After all, it was just my father's idea, not something he had seriously pursued. Special to expand the castle and his plans. When Benedikt finally began to look at it a little the way father actually did, he didn't say another word.

"Out of respect for my father, I'll never bother you again either. Nor will I punish you with a lease on your house. He handed it over to you rent-free and that's the way it should stay. However, should I ever notice you again. From today on, I'll pay back every penny you owe me. And I don't think you could pay two rents at once, let alone the additional ones. Are we clear?"

Benedict nodded sheepishly. "Just to love your father."

And that was better than any contract.

Arin sat by the fire with Bea, Michel and Joe. They camped in front of a village not far from their castle, though Arin had never been to it.

Hysterical relief constantly threatened to overtake him. And yet he felt sorry for Renta. He had never intended to hurt anyone. And certainly not someone who was as attached to him as Renta had been. Her heartbreaking howl broke his heart. He took the candy from his breast pocket and held it out to her.

She took it with trembling hands.

"Please give the boy who will be lucky enough to be your son after me."

Anders had gently stroked his head for it. "You really are special, Arin."

Since then he has felt torn between a bad conscience and unbridled joy.

Taran snapped him out of his memory and held out a piece of bread. "Do you miss them both?"

"Of course not!"

But Taran smiled. "It wouldn't be bad, you know? You were with them for a long time. And saying goodbye was bad."

Once again, Taran knew exactly how to take Arin. Arin felt like his brother, who was a year older, was the only one he could actually confess the weirdest things to. Without being ashamed.

So he looked down and took the bread that was being held out to him. "It wasn't even like they really cared about me. I had to work very hard, Anders used to hit me a lot and Renta sometimes got me down with her constant protectiveness and her pushy ways... But I always got fed up and well,... I don't know, I just didn't think I wanted to , which Renta must suffer so. And least of all that I'm probably a little sad..."

Taran smiled. But not sneering. Arin didn't expect that either. "It's because you have such a soft heart. Anders and Renta could have been beasts. But saying goodbye would still have hit you hard."

Taran didn't say what he really thought. Namely that Arin had lost his father and mother a short time ago and again today. Even if they were mean people. And it was all very confusing for his little good-hearted brother and it was probably all too much.

"You're a fool if you think that of me." Arin muttered, unable to tell him how glad he was to see Taran again.

Bea sat down with the two boys and handed them a blanket. "Don't get sick, hear me?"

Arin let the blanket drape over his small shoulders and was surprised that Bea's mothering didn't repel him the way Renta did.

In the distance they heard hoofbeats and Bea stood up abruptly.

"Avan?" Taran asked with a grin and nudged Arin lightly. "They are doting on each other that one could get sick of one another."

Arin laughed, but Bea continued to stare into the distance. A grin slowly spread across her face as she recognized her husband.

Not for the first time, Arin was happy for Avan. He also wanted one day to find someone who awaited him with such joy and love as Bea Avan.

And Avan was a good man. He deserved a woman like that.

Now the other brothers also recognized the riders and stood up excitedly. Avan stopped not far from the fire and dismounted. With a few steps he was with them, kissed Bea and smiled. But something clouded his joy. Arin didn't know what it was and none seemed to really stand out. But as so often, the lout noticed more than was good for him.

Avan approached him smiling and crouched in front of him. "Didn't I say a week?"

Arin grinned. "I hope you enjoyed the rest. Because now I am coming home again."

Avan laughed and grabbed his chin. "About damn time, huh?"

As Eric approached them, Arin did him a favor and stood up so he could pull him towards him. It didn't particularly bother him, that's the way Eric was. And after mother's death, he was often glad that there was a brother who always wanted to hold him in his arms.

"You've gotten thin Arin. How are you going to hand me the armor when you're just skin and bones?"

"One week in Ben's training and I'm the old man."

Without realizing it himself, Arin forgot the terrible goodbye and his guilty conscience. Suddenly he was fine.

Especially when Avan threw Anders' and Benedikt's contract into the fire with one smooth movement.

When we arrived at the castle the next morning, a pompous party was being celebrated. Brenda had to hand out two smoked pork knuckles. With lots of vegetables, sauce, lots of wine and snow-white bread.

Michel had ridden into the village and found two village boys who could use a lute and a flute so they could play songs. Because as I found out that evening, Arin was a huge music lover.

And the later it got, the more exuberant the brothers. There was a lot of drinking, healthy and laughing. The boys scuffled, grabbed willing maids and teased each other.

Avan drank and laughed just as much as the others. When Eric, Ben and Joe challenged him, he tussled with them and easily won. The boys grew more ambitious, their defeat more shameful, and Avan more cheerful.

"Haven't you had enough yet?" he laughed exuberantly as the three boys lined up again and the three of them rushed at Avan. As if they were annoying flies, he simply shook them off.

Michel eventually came to their aid, and since Kora was just getting to the age where he wanted to be an adult, he also threw himself into the fray. Arin and Taran sneaked up from behind. They were the only ones still hanging on to him when Avan got rid of everyone.

Taran left, Arin right clung to Avan's arm. Avan grinned mischievously at both of them. "I didn't even notice you."

"Oh yes!?" Taran laughed and tried to knock Avan over without a single leg on the ground.

Avan grabbed the right one with Arin hanging forward and easily pulled Taran down. He did the same with Arin and pushed them both away again.

This went on for a while until the little ones got tired and retreated to a corner. They tried their best not to fall asleep, but didn't manage to do so for very long.

Then the turmoil around Avan actually got wilder. Now and then you could see fists falling, and when the last one got a black eye from Avan, calm returned. No one seemed offended or offended in any way. They were too drunk for that.

So drunk that by daybreak it was very difficult for me to drag Avan up the stairs of our tower. Whereby his fingers constantly went to customers.

Exhausted, I threw open the door and helped Avan onto the bed.

"Come to me." He mumbled. His hair slightly tousled, his grin totally carefree and lewd.

"No, I'm tired and exhausted to death."

I closed the door and threw my boots on the floor next to it. Suddenly Avan grabbed me from behind and pressed me to his chest.

"I'm drunk, Lady Bea."

"Indeed." I grinned and gently pushed him away.

He staggered as he did so and fell back on the bed, not particularly gracefully. He laughed softly. "If you nudge me again with your lovely backside, have to nudge."

I began to kick his shoes off his feet and unbutton his shirt. "No, Lord..."

"Do you think I'm too drunk to-"

"Avan!"

He laughed again. He slipped his shirt off his arms and watched me fold it once and put it on the trunk. When I came back he said nothing more. Avan simply grabbed my wrists, pulled me onto him and let his hands wander again.

Only once did I try to fight back, but then I gave up and just let it happen.