Chapter 31: Chapter 31

THE JOYS OF A BIG BROTHER

Bea stretched out next to me, grinning. Her smile reminded me of a cat drinking milk. Just missing a purr. I kissed her briefly and then jumped up to get dressed. As I slipped into a pair of old pants and a thin black shirt, I felt Bea's eyes. He nearly pierced my back.

"Better hurry up with the assessment. We should be going."

When I turned around she was biting her lip and her cheeks were turning pink. I loved catching her staring at me. Lord God, I was her husband. I would be offended if she didn't like me.

"I'll be right there."

She just lay there, holding the sheet to her chest and seemed to be waiting for something... No, that was a joke!

"I just undressed you myself! Will you stop being ashamed!"

Again her cheeks turned pink as her jaw clenched. "But there I was lying under you. Your view was different. Standing naked and getting dressed is something else!"

Women... I opened my mouth to say something when I was interrupted by a knock. I threatened her with an index finger. "It's not over yet!"

Because I already knew who was there, I sighed and stepped in front of the door. Samuel picked up his work. "That's the only thing I haven't considered yet. But you can't possibly mean that..."

Oh but. Exactly that. Samuel collapsed under my gaze. "I don't like that grin... Are you serious?"

"Nice work. Late but good."

The boy turned pale. "Please don't tell me I have to break this news, Avi."

"No. I won't let that take me."

I was undecided. what should i wear I had my pants in one hand and a petticoat in the other. Of course, Benedikt just wanted to annoy me. It wasn't even about me personally, I was sure of that. I could have sworn he was only nagging me to hurt Avan. However, I didn't know enough about the customs of the White Knights' Castle or the customs of the nobility.

However, only one thing would stand out unusually about a lady. And that wouldn't be a dress...

I sighed in surrender and forced myself into a petticoat, a corset, and a dark blue, short-sleeved dress. Nevertheless, I didn't put on the fine women's shoes that my mother must have packed in my trunk, but my men's boots that I wore every day. They reached below my knees. I tied my hair in a ponytail high on my head so it wouldn't get in the way of my neck.

Without even turning to look for my pants, I disappeared out the door. Avan would see me in a dress for the first time since we were married... His reaction would decide if I would ever wear my pants again...

Oh my god I would enjoy this so much! Samuel stared at me like Eric's Ambros had hit my head. But I just couldn't stop that grin. I was so looking forward to the next few moments. Sometimes it's just wonderful to be a big brother. So wonderful!

When we got into the great hall, I discovered all my beloved brothers. Arin and Taran fought with Joe, who kept pushing one away while the other attacked. Kora sat with Ben. He told Kora what was happening at the sentry post and how comfortable the new swords were in his hands. Kora belonged there. His face lit up at this topic. Eric was just showing Michel an arrow he had just designed. Michel, on the other hand, showed him his arrowhead, which he had filed himself.

I raised my voice. "Morning!"

My brothers fell silent and looked at me. Taran even waved at me enthusiastically and squeezed onto the bench between Eric and Arin.

"I hope you slept well. I have something to announce. It's been fixed for days, so there's no point in getting excited."

My brothers shifted restlessly on their benches when they noticed my good mood. Samuel crouched next to Joe and stared at me sullenly.

"You may not know all the details, but I think each of you knows about my fields." The boys' faces grew dark and wary. "It's being worked up today. The first thing to do is clear the rocks and loosen up the earth. The important thing to remember is that all the fields I bought are on the hills next to the forest. Which means, that it will probably be a little tedious for people who are not used to it."

As I had already thought, some already understood what I was getting at. Cheeky as he was, Arin slipped under the table unobtrusively and snuck along the wall to escape through the door. I went to meet him on the other side of the table.

"At the top of the hills there is a lot of old crap from years past. Old wagons, excess earth, rubble and the like." Arin just reached the doorknob. I grabbed the hem of his collar from behind and pulled him back with me. "So we'll start there."

Taran cocked his head wearily. "We?"

"Indeed. I can't afford workers. Why should I? I have a house full of relatives."

Ben stared at me. "You are such an ass."

I pointed my finger at him. "And this is your foreman!"

Suddenly everyone burst out grumbling. Eric got up angrily. "That's what you meant when you said last time you're just making new enemies! When we were in your study!"

"That's right. This plan has been in place for three weeks."

Samuel pouted. "And you're tormenting me for so long!?"

Arin looked up apologetically and tried to smile cutely. His golden tone warmed my heart. "I think I'm too small for men's work, Avi."

I looked at him pityingly and leaned towards him. He was always cute when it suited him. "Oh no, Ari. Are you serious?"

Pouting like a baby, he nodded and nervously kneaded the hem of his doublet.

"Oh. Well then, I can't put you through that. Can I, baby?" Was he actually trying to play the baby card?

"Hardly..." Arin looked at me through his thick lashes. Such a damn rascal!

I gave him a hard smack, making his eyes widen, then got up. "Then you'll just have to help the women. Is that better, Baby?"

My brothers broke into protests, each with their own job. I couldn't care less. Big brother, surrogate father, lord of the castle, employer... what I say counts. It was so wonderful to be the big brother!

"Enjoy breakfast!"

With mock confident steps I stepped down the stairs of the castle and walked to the waiting horses and the carriages full of tools and baskets. Strangers followed me. So I was wearing the wrong thing! Kora smiled excitedly as he appeared in front of me. His dark hair was untidy and his clothes were dusty.

"Avan gave me a whole carriage, Bea! The two of us shall travel to the fields in her!" I followed his gaze to a small carriage on which stood baskets covered with linen. "There's food in there for my brothers to finish there. Without Brenda!"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the little carriage. An apple scoop was stretched out in front of it. A young stallion. Huffed excitedly as Kora came near him.

"He's mine. Argos! My best friend." he enlightened me.

Argos barely moved as Arin defiantly stomped out from behind the carriage. Avan followed him angrily. Taran behind.

"Don't you catch my eye again today, Arin. I'm serious, no pranks or stubborn fits! Otherwise you can experience something!"

"Yes Avan!" Arin growled and waited by Eric's horse. Taran stayed with us.

I was a little nervous when Avan looked at me. "A dress?" I nodded bravely. He smiled appreciatively and put a hand on his hip. Yes, I chose the dress... a sleeveless black dress, with my white blouse underneath.

Avan's slender fingers cupped my side. They went up to my arms. "It really suits you elegantly. Almost too good for work."

"I find it useful." That was such a lie...

Grinning, Avan said goodbye to Taran and got on his horse with him. Kora and I weren't the only ones driving. Samuel and Joe and Michel each had a fully loaded carriage. There were three men per carriage who were supposed to help.

So we set off. First we left the farm, then the village and then headed into the forest. It smelled so good of earth and meadow. The leaves rustled in the wind. The sound of hooves and carriages, hard to believe since there actually were nine people in my new family.

I sighed and closed my eyes, enjoying it all.

"Do you like forests?" Kora inquired.

"More than anything. How not? Look at this beauty!" I pointed to a row of trees with the sun shining between the trunks. She glittered like a diamond as she drove by.

"Are there many forests where you come from?"

"Unfortunately, only flat areas with fields. There is a river a day's ride away. But no forest. But I often went on business trips with my father. Every now and then we came through a spruce or deciduous forest."

The memory didn't hurt as much as I expected. I loved my parents, but I had never had much to do with them. Just my sister and our nannies. And I really didn't miss it!

Kora smiled slightly. "Now you own a forest."

He was right... he was right! Nothing would stop me from being here now!

As we left the forest behind, I recognized the wavy mountains. Neglected fields lay on it. It was almost midday when we finally stopped at the edge of the fields. Sitting still for so long almost killed me! The sun was shining so strongly that even the wind was blowing warmly.

The children were the first to take a closer look at the fields. The nine strangers unloaded the carriage and listened carefully to Avan's work schedule. After that they went towards the hill. Eric and Ben stared at Avan like he was the plague. And he really seemed to love it.

The earth of the fields was dry and hard. When the children ran on it, every step was dusty. It would take a lot of effort to clean up this damage. Not to mention all the things stuck in the dry earth. Who allowed such a disappearance?

After addressing each one once, Avan approached me. I was just checking out the baskets. "Everything there what you need?"

I nodded dare. "Certainly."

When I looked at him, I caught my breath. With one smooth movement, Avan pulled his shirt over his head and pressed it into my hand. "Leave it all to Kora and come with me."

I tucked his shirt on the carriage and lifted my skirt to keep up with him. I already hated this dress!

Avan headed for the top of the hills covered in mud and old wood. Really small mountains stretched out like a wall on the entire hill tops. A few heofer had already grabbed shovels and began shoveling the mud onto one of the wagons.

Avan exchanged a few words with them and discussed that they should continue up here while the rest of us start from below. As we turned to leave, he gently took my hand.

"May I ask why you're wearing a dress? And don't tell me it's practical. We both know that's a lie."

Of course he knew. "Where should I lend a hand?"

Avan eyed my smile in astonishment. I just ignored his question. Then he grinned mischievously and pointed to the bottom of the hill. "First of all, we will clear away the roughest rocks and pieces of wood. If you and Kora take care of the food, that would be enough help."

"Meal?" I was disappointed. Avan grinned apologetically.

"We're eight brothers, Bea. Five of us big and strong. Should I really put good workers on the saucepan?"

No of course not. Although it would be quite right for me not to have to cook for once. Still, I nodded and let Avan hug me to his free chest. My hairs on my forearm stood up.

"I think we'll inaugurate your skirts later..."

Avan's wicked voice vibrated in my ears. Not trusting my voice, I nodded breathlessly. His effect on me made me nervous.

When we got back to the others, Avan conferred with his brothers while Kora and I built a fire pit and converted a cart into a work surface.

Even though I wore a dress, cooked, and seemed far removed from adventures, I was there as Avan laid the groundwork for his future.

I raised the pickaxe, swung it, and brought it down on the filthy rock. I repeated it and repeated it... "Bastard..." Eric growled, standing in front of me and also hitting the rock with his heel. "Repeat that!" I snapped angrily. It was funny at first, but that's over! Eric glared at me. Sweat ran from his forehead onto his nose and temples. His light blonde hair was plastered to his head. He too had taken off his shirt. "Not you! The blasted rock!" I continued to work skeptically. Arin and Taran dug in the dusty, hard earth for stones that were too big and other rubbish that we didn't need here. Ben and Michel worked with me and Eric on the boulders and Joe and Samuel collected the old wood. At one point there was probably a hut. Because they found some broken boards and pieces of furniture. "Avan?" Arin handed me a ladleful of water. "Are we going to plant our own, or will you seek help this time?" I drank before I answered come to kiss our hands." Taran snorted and placed the heavy bucket of water next to Arin. "In that heat again?" "You see how lucky you are. Other kids your age work in that heat every day and all that maybe for the rest of her life." Taran rolled her eyes and grinned as I bent down, grabbed the bucket, and tipped it over my head. The freezing cold well water numbed my scalp and heated muscles. It was so cold it hurt.

Arin and Taran jumped aside, shrieking. Even so, her doublet got wet. Smiling, Arin raised his fists. "Bea will stretch our legs! She said we shouldn't spill anything!” “If that's the case…” I handed them the empty bucket and acted as if nothing had happened. "Eh? Hello!?” Taran jumped and grabbed my bent arm. "You're definitely not going to let us pay for this alone!"

"Food!" Kora came running across the field. "Food, people! While it's still fresh!"

I was putting the last wooden bowl full of grits on the truck's loading ramp and handing out bread next to it when I heard them. Laughing and bickering, they came across the field and pushed each other. The brothers and the helpers - Mike, Arden and Bert - sat together in the shade under the big old oak tree and took the bowls that Kora passed out. I handed out watered down beer and then retreated to the trunk of the oak where the three little brothers were sitting.

Kora still made a face like three days of rainy weather. He was unhappy because he was the only brother who was only allowed to cook, although the two youngest were allowed to work. I tried all means, but Kora's bad mood remained.

Suddenly it felt like it had gotten a lot hotter. Avan stepped into the shadows, wet torso and bright-eyed, toward us. In passing he grabbed his bowl and mug and trotted off to me.

He let his eyes wander over my hair and dress, his eyes darkening as he did so. "Somehow I find you gorgeous right now..." I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. That's what the man said, on whose muscular chest little drops shone like diamonds and his little dimple almost killed me.

Taran clicked his tongue. "You lose the food."

Avan ignored Taran. However, noticed Kora's bad mood. "What's happening?"

Kora stared at him without saying anything, wondering if he really wanted to tell his big brother. Apparently he melted at Avan's caring look after all. "It's unfair Avan. These babies are not allowed to work. I'm the most senseless and useless in this field."

Avan cocked his head thoughtfully. "These babies just don't do anymore."

Arin stared back and forth between the two, growling.

"Oh yes, far more than me. You're younger and smaller than me and you're actually here for nothing. Nothing I do is man's work. But these babies may…”

"They are only allowed to participate because otherwise they will get in the way."

That was probably enough, Arin jumped up and dusted off his butt. "So that annoying baby eats his food somewhere else now..."

Taran followed him, but they were still ignored.

Kora shook his head and lowered his head over his bowl. "All right..."

Avan stared at Kora thoughtfully. Suddenly he smiled and nudged him lightly. "You want to work like a man? Then you will too. You take over part of my work.”

Kora's eyes lit up. "Honest!? I may!?” Avan grinned mischievously. "Don't you do your job well. I'll rip your skull off if I have to rework!” Kora was happier than ever. I was happy for him, but my stomach got queasy. All the washing up, dinner, packing up...all by yourself? For thirteen people? That seemed to have occurred to Kor as well. "And what about Bea? She-" Avan waved him off, mouth full. "I'll stay with her." … … … what a bloody genius … … …

Avan actually stayed with me until his brothers got up and jokingly went back to the field. Kora beamed with delight and thanked Avan again before he and Ben took off.

I got up and filled a trough in which the bread had been brought with boiled water. Still and quiet as a cat, Avan circled me to collect the bowls and mugs. When he came to me he cursed. "Pigs. You could have just put it together."

"Why should you think about that? When in the castle they only get up and leave because there are people for it." I explained with a smile and gritted my teeth until my hands got used to the heat.

Avan stared at my blushing hands. "I think it will do us good to get out of the castle a bit. See what our serfs can do. It was always important to my father that I knew what they worked and how hard it was for them, but you can you just can't imagine it if you never had to do it yourself."

I nodded thoughtfully. "What must it be like, always afraid of the rent collectors? Or hoping and praying for the weather not to starve? Fear of diseases and problems with too many children..."

Avan ran his fingers through his hair. "I would really like to do something about it... fortunately my father and my mother cared as much as I did. They laid good groundwork to accommodate them a little."

My mother... My curiosity was aroused. What did I know about his mother? What did he know about his own mother anyway? At first I hesitated because he didn't look happy the last time either, but then I asked about her.

"Did your parents get along well?" I placed the last bowl on the stick and began washing out the cups.

"Oh, Father adored her. Honestly adored. If it hadn't broken out with the church, he might have built an altar for her." He grinned and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Who do you look like?"

"Her." Suddenly he looked very lost. His eyes are contrite and thoughtful. "When she laughed, you just had to laugh with her. Brilliant white, straight teeth and golden hair. A laugh like a silver bell, my grandfather always said back then. He loved his daughter-in-law like my father."

I kept working. Without really looking at him. Something told me it was better this way. To let him talk once he was ready. Don't interrupt and ask. Possibly ask the wrong question and scare him away.

Avan sighed deeply and tilted his head back. "Father hardly let me with her. He saved me from going to school in a convent and taught me everything himself. He probably didn't realize how little she was with me. After all, I was actually a happy child."

I stopped in shock. Almost refusing a mother to have her child... I wasn't a mother, so I couldn't imagine how terribly painful that must have been. But I could tell from Avan how bad it was for him as well.

When he remained silent, I ventured a question. "Actually? Not always?"

"Well, I just missed mother. When I heard her laughing and scolding with Michel, Joe and Samuel."

"It must have been bad..." I said more to myself than to him. But he reacted immediately.

"Actually, I always saw her at dinner. Before going to bed. For a picnic, or when she came into Dad's study and went over her work... The relationship was still missing, you know?"

My throat tightened as he turned his head towards me. His dark blue eyes were sad and misty, the corner of his mouth sadly raised and his eyebrows arched almost apologetically. He raised his shoulder slightly and cocked his head. That's when I realized it.

Avan was eighteen. A white man with little brothers, devious advisers trying to steal his inheritance, a tough project and probably more heartache than he cares to admit. He was always the big, unpredictable and clever brother. He was never just an eighteen-year-old boy who also needed support and still had a lot to learn.

He had nobody. He was there for everyone, but nobody for him. No one. Except me, I decided adamantly. I would be there, always...

I smiled encouragingly and dried my hands. Then I took a step closer to him, ran my hand through his now-dry hair, let it rest on the back of his neck and put my other hand on his cheek. Surprisingly, he actually snuggled up to her. He closed his eyes and a pained expression crossed his face. How hard did it have to be for him to drop his facade?

Without saying a word, and probably making it harder, I just leaned in and kissed him tentatively. His arms immediately wrapped around me, pressing me so hard against him that I thought he was about to crush me. He sighed, kissed me vigorously and buried a hand in my loose topknot. As my hair cascaded down my back, he buried his face in my neck and sank to the floor with me.

"Are you sure? Right here?"

Avan grumbled in agreement and ran his hands under my skirts. His hand held my most sensitive spot and teased me. With his other hand, he gave the hem of my skirt a firm yank, exposing my chest slightly to make it easier for him to do the rest.

"You're gonna love wearing dresses, I swear to God."

Grinning lasciviously, he placed himself over me again. I squirmed towards him, hoping to direct his nimble fingers the way I wanted them immediately.

"Do I have to beg?"

He pursed his lips cheekily. "Nice thought..."

Luckily he didn't do that to me. He fiddled briefly with the strings of his trousers, then he sank deep into me, making me shudder. My goodness, did I think he was a simple rascal before!?