Chapter 30: Chapter 30

WHAT'S NEXT?

Arin and I sat in the horse box with Bea all night trying to feed the foal. Bea had brought thick oat bran and chopped apple pieces. But nothing made the animal eat.

Arin got tired two hours before sunrise. His head kept falling to the side, bumping into my arm, waking him up again. Again and again I had tried to persuade him to go to bed. But he refused. It made me a little proud that Arin wanted to pull this off.

When the sun hadn't quite risen, Bea left to work in the kitchen. She gave me a quick kiss and ran off. I still didn't quite like having my young bride with Brenda. On the other hand, she was taking care of Kora and defying Brenda. She managed to do what my hands were tied to do.

Shortly thereafter, I had to specifically order Arin to go to bed. He doesn't offer the slightest resistance. As expected. I tried feeding the sick animal a few more times, but gave up.

If his mother were there, maybe that would help. But I had bought the foals for my little brothers when I was doing something outside. So that idea wasn't any help either.

"Tomorrow Av." Taran appeared in the door of the box, still looking sleepy. "Is Arin gone?"

"I hope he's asleep. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on him. And maybe help before I have to study."

Taran and Arin. The two were like twins. If Arin suffered, Taran suffered with him. If Taran suffered, Arin suffered. So it didn't surprise me that he immediately wanted to get up early to help Arin. Sometimes it surprised me how much my siblings loved each other. After all, my father had never contributed to the unity of the little ones.

"It's okay, I'll leave the animal alone now. Are you coming to breakfast?"

Yawning, Taran followed me and tried to tidy his bird's nest of hair. I was dog tired too. My working day even started at breakfast.

"And what do you say?" Samuel looked at me uncertainly. It was his first job he had to do alone for me.

Yawning, I let my eyes write over the lines. "Have you calculated the number of workers?"

Nervously, he handed me another sheet. "I know that the number is probably very high, but it probably won't work any other way."

"A hundred men? And their wages?" That would be an awful lot of money. And this whole action was just to get money in...

Samuel smiled uncertainly. "I don't think I have to calculate that for you."

"No not that." I felt my patience drop. I was hungry and tired! "But I want you to calculate it differently. A hundred men is too many. Find another way."

Grumbling, Samuel put his chin in his hand. "It takes forever."

"See you in the morning."

Samuel looked up, dumbfounded. "I can't do that Avan! Never! I need more time!"

"I can not do that?" I hissed and Samuel looked down at his paper, offended. "Then just look for someone who can do it faster."

He stared at me, genuinely offended. "You firing me, Avi?"

"If you don't bother, yes."

I was dead serious. Even if he was my brother, I wouldn't favor anyone. Everyone knows that. That's how it works. They are men. So they should behave like one too.

He studied my expression, frowning. Once he realized how serious I was, he packed up. "See you later..."

Joe pursed his lips while raising an eyebrow. "You seem to be in a good mood, Avan."

"I have a castle to run. I can't spoil my little brothers there."

Half the table bowed their heads in disapproval and they just kept eating. Well, that's what it looked like! Taran stuffed the last spoonful of scrambled eggs into his mouth, then waved as he started walking. Soon Michel appeared and brought two pigs into the kitchen.

After breakfast I crawled into my study. I buried my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes. God was I tired. I hadn't even had much of an appetite. For the thousandth time I went through all the bills and studied my earnings... I needed the project. It should work. Only then would I be able to expand it. make it work!

Between breakfast and lunch, I met Arin at the stable. I brought him Brit, which made him smile happily. Somehow I found that he rarely smiled. In fact, it was actually very reserved.

"How is your animal?"

Arin chewed his bread. "I figured out how to feed him."

"Indeed!?" That was some progress! "How come?"

Arin put the bread back in my hand, pulled the little black head onto his lap, and took a handful of wheat bran. Then he gently opened his mouth, pressing the food between his teeth and gently holding it in his jaw. The foal twitched angrily with its weak little head, but Arin's calm calmed him down again immediately.

"And he swallows." Arin smiled happily. "It's not the best kind, but he eats."

However. And enormous situations call for enormous measures. Until I had to go back to work, we fed Arin's foals until the bucket was empty. Arin beamed with relief that I almost cried. I felt like the little one was in dire need of a miracle. So this stupid animal must have made an effort.

In the kitchen, Kora baked bread and prepared side dishes for the roast pork. Brenda doused herself in so much wine I doubted there would be enough for the sauce.

"I'm so looking forward to the meal!" Kora hummed as Brenda croaked loudly and began to sing. "It smells so delicious..."

"Me too." I was way too tired to be hungry.

I had to think about Avan all day long. Yesterday he actually stalked me. Then stay with Arin and I all night. I'm sure he didn't get any more sleep than I did. I was so happy to fall into bed next to him and snuggle up to him...

Arin scratched his foal's head. It had lifted its head and was trying to get up. Arin didn't even dare to breathe. Avan leaned over the edge of the box and eyed the animal carefully. Bea was standing next to Arin, probably crossing her fingers as well.

With a jerk, the filly stood up and snorted. Arin heard the rumble as the huge stone fell from his heart. Bea suddenly stood next to Avan and threw herself into his arms.

"Now he will be well!" Arin rejoiced and patted the Black shoulders.

"Then you need a name after all." Avan crouched down beside him and checked the colt's eyes.

"I thought..." Arin looked at Avan. He had been there for him all his life. Always protected him and his brothers and did his best. And for two days he hardly slept, just to help him with a hopeless animal... "I thought Pocket."

Avan gave Arin a knowing grin. "The name is good."

The next morning I lay alone in my bed. Bea was already up and sitting on the chest to brush her hair. It looked like black silk. Long and Shiny. Why wasn't she in the kitchen as usual? Actually, she was usually gone before sunrise.

She looked up as if she had felt my gaze. "Good morning."

"Morning." I mumbled and ran my fingers through my hair. When the sheet slipped off my chest while I was putting it on, her gaze went straight to my chest. I let her gaze rest on me for a moment. Then I cleared my throat so that she jumped and her cheeks turned red. It looked so cute I had to smile. "Have I slept that late? Is breakfast over already?"

"No." She avoided my gaze. Still pink cheeked. "Today there is only wheat cake."

I growled unhappily. I always had to eat this when I was a kid. Dad thought I would grow really big and extraordinarily strong. Also full and happy. Luck, however, was limited. The whole consisted of wheat, water, flour and egg. It was so dry that sometimes it was hard to swallow.

Bea looked at me questioningly. "Brenda said you will love it."

"That dried up bitch..."

Bea's eyes widened in shock. "I've never really heard you swear in two years."

Because I was driven out of it as a child. Is that how a lord of the castle speaks!? Do I speak like that myself? Father didn't think much of this cursing.

Then there was a soft knock and Taran stuck his head through the door. "Avi? Kora is bleeding."

It was almost frightening to watch Avan go through with the sheer bloodlust. He threw off his sheet, slipped into his pants and boots, and stormed out the door. I followed immediately. Who knows what he would do in his constitution!

I followed Avan down the hall, up the stairs, and out into the yard. From there he walked once around the castle to the well. It was a wide stone fountain. Servants and merchants stood here in the shade to drink water and mothers with children. This time only Kora sat on a rock and covered his bleeding mouth.

When we got to him, Avan pushed his head back and stared at all the blood. The sight made me shudder. I averted my eyes and saw the bald guy storming towards Avan. With a mock concerned expression he eyed Kora.

"Who was that?" Avan growled menacingly and Kora's eyes watered. "Answer!"

"Who do you think?" the advisor purred. "Certainly Brenda. The brat won't have behaved again!"

Then Avan grabbed the man's light blue robes and pulled him closer. "Are you calling my brother brat!?"

"Avan. Take your hands off me." Baldhead tried to keep his face straight. With a firm shove, Avan released him and engaged in a discussion.

Meanwhile, I knelt in front of Kora and held him to stop his bleeding.

"Was it Brenda?" Kora just stared at me. "How did this happen?"

"I was hit against the walls."

I turned and saw a bloodstain on the castle wall. That would finish Avan off. Kora ran a hand through his black hair and looked up as Avan stomped his way. He grabbed Kora's upper arm and hauled him to his feet. He mumbled something that made Kora pale.

"Don't do this! Please! I beg you."

But Avan was deaf. Taran walked beside me to keep up. Inside the castle, Avan yelled for Brenda so loudly that everyone sitting at the table turned to us. I could finally count the brothers. One, two, three,... nine!? All black haired with brown eyes. Only Eric had light blue eyes and light blond hair.

The fat cook walked leisurely out of the kitchen. When she saw the sight of Kora, she became serious.

"That was too fell!" roared Avan. Kora broke free and hid with Ben, who had stood up and was glaring at Brenda. "How dare you!?"

"Ben, he has to stop..." Kora stammered and tugged at Ben's arm, who for the first time looked like he was about to kill someone.

"I haven't even seen that brat today!" Brenda snapped angrily. "Tell him Kora! You skipped today!"

It was true. Kora skipped today, but that didn't prove anything. It even gave her a reason why she could have been cruel like that. Kora nodded shyly to Avan.

"That doesn't prove anything!" I snapped. Avan turned to me. "You've tried worse things to do to him!"

Brenda stomped towards me. Go ahead, she knew what I could do. "I didn't touch Kora today!"

Ben had enough. He stared at Kora in exasperation. "Who was it?"

"Ben... I can't!"

Ben was about to say something when Avan interrupted him. "Kora you come with me. Samuel and Eric, I need you after breakfast. Bea, come on."

He led us into his study where he first spat out some wild swear words before stopping at the window and impatiently looking around.

"Was it Benedict?" He growled so deeply that the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

Kora nodded. "He said if I tell anyone he'll just make Arin disappear and blame you."

Who was Benedict!? I'd kick the damn skull off his shoulders! Van nodded and turned around. "Did he do anything else?"

Kora stared at his feet. "He said if I don't leave the castle voluntarily, he will destroy your reputation."

What? That could only be... "Is Benedikt-"

"-Avan's adviser..." Kora murmured.

Oh, well that was right! Secretly choose people and harass them?

Avan just stood there. Angry and half naked. Tall, broad-shouldered, and boiling like cauldrons. He just stood there...

"Go eat, Kora. Let Joe look at you." Avan suddenly murmured quietly. Kora nodded and left.

How could he just chop it off like that!? When Kora closed the door, I stormed into the seat next to him at the window, stunned. His face was expressionless, his muscles relaxed.

"avan?" He looked at me, so calm and relaxed as if nothing had happened! "What's happening now?"

"Nothing."

What!? I felt my hot head boil over. "Nothing!?"

Avan looked at me calmly. How could he be so calm!? He was just panting like a bull, and now he was quiet and didn't say anything but Nothing!?

"What do you mean by that? Kora just stood there covered in blood, told you who it was and why and you're doing nothing!?" My voice cracked. I didn't want to exaggerate but I was so shocked...

Avan dropped into his chair and rested his head on the headrest. "Stop it, Bea."

"Only because Benedikt is your adviser!? Only because he comes from your father!? You would have killed Brenda on the spot!"

Avan sighed and scowled up at me. "Why don't you understand when I tell you to stop?"

"Because I just think you're unfair!"

Suddenly his fist banged on the table. "Unfair!? How do you know how unfair the world can be!?"

Avan jumped up and paced around the room, always scowling in my direction.

"Why am I getting so calm!? Because I can't think any other way, that's why! And to fool this toady Benedict, I have to be precise!"

"Why?" I felt myself blush. I had been too hasty.

"Because he has part guardianship of the castle. Still. I have to prove myself before I can get rid of him. And only then can I really start putting things in order! Why do you think I haven't unbuttoned Brenda already?"

I shrugged, puzzled. He twisted a corner of his mouth mockingly. It's okay, I overreacted!

"Because Benedict immediately thinks that I don't have control over running the castle. For reasons such as being unable to weigh the benefits and costs, for example. And then he would have the entire guardianship of the castle, my brothers and the entire court overwritten."

"What...?" I didn't know that was possible.

Avan smiled sarcastically. "Yes! That's how it works with the white knights. Always think carefully about your next step, otherwise you'll be missing your whole foot!"

Avan sighed angrily and stared at his feet. I'd like to hit myself...

"I'm sorry. I had no idea..." I could see him holding back an answer. I was feeling like a stupid brat right now. "I'll learn to keep my mouth shut."

He looked up, smiling wearily. "You can never do that."

Glad that Avan didn't seem too angry with me, I started to smile too. The door opened and Samuel entered with Eric and Ben. Avan shrugged off his vulnerable part and looked like the strong big brother again. He pointed sternly at Ben. "You have no business here."

"But I won't go back." Ben looked angry like I had never seen him before.

Samuel, whom I rarely see in this castle, handed Avan a folder.

"First the new bills. It doesn't get any better!" Avan glared at him through his lashes. "And then Kora's calculations. He can't just be put under Ben just yet. There's no loophole for that.

"Nothing to do with money." Avan muttered as Ben looked up angrily.

I was always feeling stupid... So Avan was researching to help Kora and I was acting like a lunatic... I guess I should never underestimate the white knight. As I watched him shirtless nagging at Samuel about the numbers and stubbornly defending himself, I finally seemed to get the hang of it.

Avan was only eighteen, but already had to play lord, father and brother at the same time. All second thoughts and dealing with people like Benedikt and finding loopholes... Avan did nothing, with no ulterior motive.

"I'm not going to calculate that again!" Samuel huffed angrily.

"Sami" began Eric, who probably felt more sorry than Avan. He also immediately interrupted him.

"You're fired. And if you think you're allowed to swindle here, then I'll be happy to disappoint you."

Samuel stared at Avan like he was public enemy number one. "That's unfair."

"Get used to it." He pressed the folder into Samuel's hand. "Two hours. Otherwise I'll charge you."

Proudly offended, Samuel roared off. Eric clicked his tongue. "You know, Avan? I hardly know anyone who builds up enemies as quickly as you do."

Ben nodded. "Sometimes you really can't be helped." Avan grinned slyly and wrote something down.

"What are you writing?" Both brothers got nervous.

Avan just shook his head. His bare chest rose and fell with every breath. "I'm just making new enemies."

They talked briefly about today's tasks, then they were dismissed. However, he heals me when I wanted to leave too. He pulled me onto his lap and buried his face on my neck...

"Avan..."

"I can hardly concentrate when you're staring at me like that." He purred and I felt his smile. "It drives me crazy knowing you want me..."

My face got hot. Was I that obvious?

His hand slid from my hip to my thigh and out from there. Next. "I love your legs in those pants, but they're really impractical sometimes!"

"I would wear skirts for you in a heartbeat."

would I? I'd probably say whatever he wanted, as long as he kept doing this thing with his hand.

Avan's deep laugh made my blood boil. It drove me insane without much effort! The effect he had on me was almost inhuman. But everything about Avan looked abnormal to me. So why should it be any different with my feelings?

I let my gaze wander. I would have to do a lot of work and invest a lot more time here. Maybe more than it was worth. But I hadn't found any other long-term solution that promised long-term income.

Eric jotted down some of my thoughts and Samuel shook his head morosely. He was still mad because I still wasn't satisfied with his bill. But he wasn't considering everything. If he did, the solution would be obvious.

Joe rubbed his chin. "Do you really think we can get anything out of this stony wasteland?"

I thought that. My first project consisted of buying fields, planting them and being able to make a living from them, as well as being able to sell them. This saved me further expenses for various food retailers. Michel hunted the meat, we would plant the vegetables and wheat ourselves, and whatever else was needed I could still get from traders or residents of my country.

In this way I created jobs, a self-sufficiency opportunity and a source of income. It would take a lot of effort to get there though. Then I would finally be rid of Benedict and his toady-lickers! And my family would be safe.

"Not according to the numbers." My twelve-year-old helper grumbled. When I glared at him, Samuel immediately fell silent.

Joe grinned. He was actually the treasurer of the castle. However, I wanted Samuel, who read really fast and a lot, to be of use to me. He had to bring such simple things together.

Eric kicked a potato-sized rock aside. "It's going to be hard work, Avan."

I bit back a grin. "Leave such thoughts to me. Write down what we need for work materials. Today I'll sign the last forms and tomorrow morning we'll start."

My brothers turned to go. I stayed a moment longer and looked at the horizon. All of that had to work. If I failed, I would have to invest more money than I could get out, I would lose guardianship until my twenty-first birthday.

That's how my father wanted to protect me. He had recorded everything exactly. What Benedikt should arrange in the meantime and what not. However, I disagreed with many things on the list. The first thing was that father wanted to separate my brothers and send them away. The second was the impossible savings... My father managed the castle better than I had before him, although times were different now.

Avan sat next to me with a mischievous grin. I hadn't forgotten the outcome of our discussion either. So I grinned back just as mischievously.

"Has Brenda behaved?"

"As well as." I thought about how she had yelled at Kora for being gone for so long. He only had his face patched up. That's why she accidentally put the big cauldron on her foot.

"What?" Avan's eyes were reading. "What's with that devious look?"

I tried to look innocent. "No, my lord."

Avan smiled and showed his dimple. With that certain light in his dark blue eyes, he was the most gorgeous man in the world. I was firmly convinced of that. After all, I had never seen such a wonderful person...

During the meal, Samuel discussed various numbers with Avan for a long time and above all heatedly. Again and again Avan sighed indignantly and cocked his head annoyed. After a while, Samuel started to switch from Avan to Avi. I could see Aban actually doing something and softening.

It was so cute to see such a simple pet name throwing him off. I couldn't think of anything else that drew him to him. Maybe because only his brothers called him that? Or because they reminded him of earlier times? Either way, I didn't think it was that bad if the guys came up with something to keep up with Avan. Because I loved that side of Avan.

After Arin and Taran persuaded Michel to show them archery, Samuel's enthusiasm surged once again. "I don't know what to do anymore. But please don't fire me, Avi."

Cheered, he rested his head in his propped palms. "You're no use to me if you don't think everything through."

"Avi..." the twelve year old pouted and showed him a piece of paper. "I did what I could..."

I briefly saw Avan stiffen. Then he lifted his head with a sigh. "You're smarter than most in this castle." He saw Samuel's eyes closely. "Are you honestly trying to disappoint me?"

That had stuck. Samuel's mouth dropped open for a second. Then he lowered his eyes and doubled over. The boys were good but Avan was better. He had won.

"I'm so glad when the work finally starts tomorrow..." he wheezed and emptied his goblet.

"What are you working on all the time?"

Actually, I wasn't really interested in it until now. But if he said that something was going on early in the morning, then I must have missed something. Aven shook his head.

"Now I'm seriously fed up with this subject. I'll tell you over dinner."

"Alright." Actually clear. I could at least observe how exhausting the whole thing was for him. Again and again the conversations with Samuel, the constant work and then the excursion after breakfast. I should change his mind.

"So eight brothers?" I still hadn't quite digested that fact.

Ava laughed. "However."

"Your mother must have been truly remarkable when she gave birth to eight sons."

Avan lost his good lute. "Allegedly."

"Allegedly?" Didn't you know that from your parents? After being so closely connected to his father, he must have known something about his mother...

Avan cleared his throat and looked over the board. Kora, Taran and Arin listened to Michel's stories. "Unfortunately, I never spent much time with her."

I wanted to ask thousands more questions. But his tone showed me that he probably just didn't want that. That's why I kept quiet.

I never expected that Avan and his father seemed like really good friends, but his mother was like a stranger to him. Above all, I didn't understand this meaningful look at the little ones. I guess I didn't know the people of this castle nearly enough...

I lit the last two candles on the pile of wax on the table and yawned wearily. Working in the kitchen was exhausting. But it was good to know that because of me, Brenda was starting to cut back on her and Kora's collaboration. The boy didn't get welts or bruises anymore, unless he fought with Samuel and Michel. In fact, Michel, one of the most gifted hunter-gatherers, was only thirteen years old. Joe the Treasurer only fourteen!

I was surprised to find out her age. Especially since they were so good at their jobs. Avan had given them the jobs when Henry, their father, was alive. Rumor has it to protect her from being sent away by her father.

"Milady." growled an old voice.

When I turned around, Benedict was standing there in his light blue robe with his hands clasped. In the dim light, he seemed more menacing than I had ever expected. Then I remembered Kora's bloody face and anger flared up in me. When I didn't answer, he cleared his throat in resignation.

"I take it you know that tomorrow is an important day for Avan."

Naturally. Even if I didn't know exactly what it was about. I nodded curtly.

"I also assume you want to support him as best you can. So I suggest you wear a dress tomorrow."

... ... ... As? The bald man correctly interprets my blank look and begins to explain.

"You should know that women in trousers are immodest. You would shame Avan by showing everyone how little you respect them."

"What does that have to do with respect?" Yes, my tone was unfriendly. But damn it! I was the wife of the lord of the castle!

"Didn't Avan ever hint that he didn't appreciate your attire? He probably loves you too much to tell you to your face, but I knew Henry very well, who taught Avan everything." The old man's face brightened for a moment. "Avan learned everything from Henry, even the interpersonal ones. He soaked up everything he saw like a sponge. And Henry hated women in pants."

I was about to tell him to pay more attention to his ridiculous robe than to my trousers, when I remembered what Avan had said after our argument. I love your legs in those pants, but sometimes they're just impractical!

Benedikt immediately took advantage of this weak moment. "It's up to you what you wear within your castle walls, my lady. But I still wanted to give you something to think about. I know you love Avan enough to make the right decision."

When I looked up, the old one had vanished in the dim light as quickly as it had appeared...

Was he right? Of course, I had already realized what kind of snake the man was. Nonetheless. Did I want to take the risk and make a laughing stock of Avan? Just now that he was beginning to take on his responsibilities? Where did he need to build his reputation?

But a dress? Good heavens, I'd rather burst into flames... Especially since I still didn't know which project it was about... Then two hands snuggled up to my hips.

"Are you heating up my castle properly, beloved?" Avan's cooing sound got me all excited.

"As best I can."

He turned me in his arms and cocked his head, lips pursed. "What did Benedict want from you?"

"Have you tried to eavesdrop on us?"

Avan pursed his lips and let his gaze wander upwards. "Eavesdropping is a very harsh word."

"But right appropriate?"

"Well, yes." Exuberantly he beamed at me. My mood lifted immediately.

"It wasn't important." I didn't want to tell him anything yet because I hadn't made up my mind yet. He didn't need to know that Benedict made me think. "Do you want to tell me what's happening tomorrow?"

Suddenly he seemed tired again. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands as he sighed. Then he started telling me everything. Of fields, work and possible yield. At the same time, I heard how terribly urgent it was that everything worked.

"And you will be at the field tomorrow?"

Avan nodded as naturally as if I should have assumed so. "It's my idea too."

I put my hands on his chest and leaned against him. He put an arm loosely around me. "Then do you want a specific lunch that you want me to cook for you?"

His gaze became so soft that my stomach began to tingle. "You will accompany me."

Indeed!? I sat up excitedly. Finally working with your hands again! Dirt and dirt, fresh air and no endless talk about drama... "Can I really come with you? What will Brenda say?"

Ava laughed. "What do we care?"

Then he wrapped his arm around me again and climbed into our tower with me. We immediately fell onto the bed. I still noticed how Avan nibbled at my neck, but I was too exhausted. As soon as I touched the sheets, I fell asleep deeply.

The next morning, Avan's head was on my stomach when I opened my eyes. His hand on my chest, he snored softly. As I ran my fingers through his thick hair, he snuggled up to me a little before raising his head with a grunt. He immediately pushed himself up beside me and glared at me defiantly.

"Tomorrow..." was all I could manage in surprise.

"Morning." He murmured absently and kissed me fiercely. I just couldn't keep talking.

As he did so, he took off my trousers and linen shirt, which I must have forgotten last night. His kiss moved to my chest and I was instantly wide awake. Making a completely unfamiliar noise as he bit me gently, I heard his deep giggle.

"Unfortunately we're in a hurry..." he looked up defiantly. "I will never forgive you for just falling asleep yesterday. Now just the short version..."

"Yesterday?" I was still completely confused. But when he was deep inside me the next moment, I didn't care either.

His broad upper body pressed me into the sheets. "The next time I want you, you have to be wide awake..." Avan growled, grinning. His dimple drove me insane.

He didn't give me any time to answer. He would rather show me what I would miss if I just overslept him again...