Chapter 54: Chapter 54

Aviena's POV

We did not go home immediately. We even managed to take Camillia on a trip who also had fun here in the Philippines. I was anxious but at the same time, I don't really want to ruin the happiness they were feeling together. I’m also happy that the two of them get along.

“Do you like that?” River asked when he saw a toy. Camillia shook her head. Camillia was just always interested in tools that she can use in water. But if Ocean was with her, I'm sure even if Camillia doesn't use it, Ocean will buy it.

"I won't be needing it at all, Papa," she said so River slowly smiled at her.

We're here in the Mall of Asia. Camillia was still able to piggyback ride with her father. River aren't complaining, it seems like he's enjoying it. Even if they are just walking, it is fun. We stopped in the arcade for a while.

Both of them are playing when they looked at me. I usually come in some arcade with Camillia in Amsterdam. Usually, we are both trying to have fun. I didn't really experience this when I was young because I didn't have money and when I got older and had money, I still wasn't able to do so because there were so many people who knew me in malls.

The three of us enjoy playing there. River almost had to close the place so that the child would not have to wait for someone else.

"Do you like it?" he asked Camillia. My daughter nodded happily so River smiled.

“Alright. We'll make an arcade in our home,” he said, so Camillia and I both parted our lips. My daughter immediately looked at me as if asking me what her father was talking about.

"There's no need for that, River…" We won't be here long either. But I doubt that my plan will happen now that I'm looking at River.

"Let me do this for our daughter, Aviena…" he said so I couldn't help but be quiet. I don’t really know how he feels right now but I feel really guilty because I know it’s my fault that I deprived them both.

"That's too much, Papa… We can just play here whenever we want…" Camillia said so River turned to her.

"If that's what my princess wants then that's fine…" he said while smiling at his daughter.

"Just tell me what you want… Papa will give it to you, My Princess…" River said to Camillia. Camillia just smiled at him.

“I don’t have anything I want as of the moment. I'm really happy right now, Mama… Papa… ” she said, looking at the two of us. So I am. I'm happy that I'm seeing how bright her smile is. I will always exchange everything I have to see that smile.

It was almost night when we finished touring and taking walks. Camillia was drowsy while still with her father. I couldn’t help the smile on my lips as I stared at the two of them.

“Thank you, Papa ... For liking me…” River and I were both stunned there until she was gradually swallowed up by drowsiness. I could feel the edge of tears because of the simple thing she said. My chest tightened again because of the child.

River and I were both quiet as we got into his car. He gently lifted the child as we entered.

I didn't say anything when he said that we'll stay in his mansion. I also knew he really wanted to stay with our child. We both just watched the child sleep quietly. Until we got home, no one was still speaking with the two of us.

Some of his housemaids noticed us when we went inside. Almost everyone was shocked while watching River and me. I didn't speak and just followed River who went straight to the entrance. I just stopped when I saw the news on the television, it looks like River heard it too because he also stopped. He even turned to me so I just followed him and ignored the news about me.

We're in the news. Looks like someone took a picture of us at the mall and there at the airport as well. Based on the news, they are saying that I was pregnant when I left the Philippines.

When I left I also turned my back on showbiz, I don't really know what happened with my contracts and projects. I have not received that I have been charged or anything. I still read a lot of news about me when I left but I chose to forget it completely. I choose to focus on my child even more.

I'm happy with my decision too. I was also able to be happy without the media.

I even stopped when some housemaids were cleaning upstairs while watching theory on youtube.

“Aviena or known as Vena left the Philippines pregnant. With the number of men paired with the actress, the masses don't know who the father really is— ” The maid almost threw the cellphone in shock in our presence. He would have almost survived if he hadn't just seen River carrying a child.

"Sir, you're here." There was a look of confusion on their face. It looks like it's just new here. I couldn't avoid shaking my head when River entered the room directly. River and I used to have a room when we were still living here.

River slowly laid Camillia down on the bed. My daughter was sound asleep so we just brought her to bed. River almost didn't want to let go looking at her.

"Let's talk now." I could feel the roar of my heartbeat when he said that. I just got up and followed him to the balcony of the room.

“River…” I called him. He turned me coldly. There was a look of anger on his face but he also didn't seem to want to say bad things to me.

“She’s your daughter. You can do a DNA test if you— ” He didn't let me finish what I was going to say.

“Do you think I don’t know about that? Of course, she is… Damn… she is… I have a daughter… ” he said weakly. I was just scared that he'll think that she is not just because of those rumors.

"I'm sorry…" I said weakly. I don’t know how I’m going to apologize to him now. I just played with my finger while looking at the sky.

“Does you sorry will give back those 5 years I was supposed to spend with our daughter, Aviena?” I was biting my lips hard because of that. I know how wrong I am.

“You have a chance to fucking tell me but you didn’t. What did I fucking do for you to hide her from me? What the heck, Aviena? You know how much I want to build a family with you. ” It was as if he was slowly exploding with annoyance now. I also can’t blame him because I know how wrong I was in what I did.

"I'm sorry…" I weakly said. I'm guilty. I don't even know if I still have words to say to him other than that. I was just so guilty to say anything.

“Why did you do that…” His voice seemed to be weakening and he still couldn't believe what I did. He still looks so mad but he doesn't want to shout at me or even raise his voice at me.

I don't know why I'm still scared to say it. Maybe up until now, I still know the reason why… I still know that despite how scared and mad I was at my sister… She’s still my sister… I still care about her… I still don’t want her to get hurt. Despite all of those threats she made, I still see her as that sister who helps me run away from Uncle's hand. That no matter what I do I am still very grateful to Big Sister. That I still don’t want to imprison her.

That's why I'll do things for the sake of all our peace. I am mad. I can't deny that and I don't really want River to bear my pain and anger. He's leaving in peace without us too…

After all, he's also angry, maybe I can do the same.

"We won't be staying here for so long… Uh… We're going home too…" I promised weakly.

My plan is to stay at Grandma's house for a while and after that, we'll go back to Amsterdam. Now that we are here in the Philippines, I realize even more that I am still consumed by fear. For my daughter's sake. I know I'm selfish to say this to River after he saw his daughter now but I can't risk the fact that Camillia's life will be in danger here.

My daughter was always free, I also wouldn't want to imprison her in exchange for her safety. We all have a good life even though it's just the two of us.

"You're home…" He said while looking at me. He was so serious right now. It doesn't seem to be able to quell the anger anymore. I just got quieter there.

"We can't stay here for too long… Our life is already there in Amsterdam…" I said seriously to him. Only the cold look remained in his eyes.

“I won’t be able to let you do whatever you want, Aviena. You hide our daughter for fucking 5 years. Damn. I didn't even know that I was already a father. ”

“Fuck. If I just knew… I won't let you go that day. ” I saw how he tightened his grip. He was just mad. He’s not just slightly angry, he was so mad. He just calmed himself while I just silently stared at the emptiness. I feel like tears are falling because of the tightness of my chest. I really did something I'll regret. I'm torn between regretting and thankful that I made that decision. I don't know anymore…

"Can you tell me all things about her?" he asked. It seems that even with anger, curiosity still prevails with the thought of his child… even though there is anger towards him, his main priority is his daughter… I just want to hurt myself more there.

“She knows how to surf… She won a child competition in Amsterdam… She’s good at sports but she likes water sports more… She likes cartoons and Stitch too… She’s good at numbers… She knows how to speak Dutch…” I’m not aware that my tears are already dripping while telling a story. He was just listening

“She practices hundred times how she will introduce herself to you… When I told her that you enjoy adventurous things, she also want to be like that… She wanted something she could talk about with you…” When I looked at River, I saw the redness of his eyes. He was starting to tear up. His knee almost gave up due to weakness.

“Damn… I wish I were there…”

How I wish you were too…