Chapter 35: Chapter 35

I woke up confused and disoriented, felt like I was immersed in year-long sleep inertia. I thought I heard something along the lines 'I wish it wasn't you'. Did I imagine it? I couldn't tell anymore. I checked for Raphael, but he isn't anywhere to be seen. Where is he? Did I scare him off? Is he waiting somewhere; For me to vacate his office? Was I too emotional? Too clingy? I mentally cringed thinking how it would have appeared to Rafa.

What do you expect? You- Sleeping beauty and he- a prince, kneeling on the floor, waiting for you to wake up? Walking into the sunset, living happily ever after! Please!!

That would have been the day earth stood still. I gave an internal sigh and thought of going back to the desk, behaving normally, but… I discarded that idea. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face another day not knowing what’s going to happen to us. It’s time to tell Raphael Sinclair how I feel. It’s time he knows. It’s just…time. About time. The door opened as I made that ascertainment. It’s as though he is aware of my thoughts.  Yes!! Finally, he is going to learn about me. Over my dead body. I don’t want him to run away. Pff… you always must spoil. My inner-self pouted, folding her imaginary hands.

No, I have common sense. Why am I wasting my time even talking to you? Coz you have a serious case of personality disorder and I must say it’s pathetic you didn’t figure it out already.

‘Good, you are awake. I bought lunch’, Raphael interrupted my inner debate. Oh… he didn’t leave me. I couldn’t read anything from his voice-do he wants me to forget ‘the breakdown episode’ (that’s what I’m calling it)? Or want to talk about it? Nothing. Nil. Nada. But his eyes… His eyes tell me a different story. The story of what transpired between us not long ago. Heat curled in my belly, making me blush.

Trying not to jump on him, I cleared my throat and asked, ‘What is it?’

‘Italian’.

‘Sounds delicious’, I uttered.

I don’t like Italian. I like Thai. But I didn’t tell him. It almost looks trivial telling him that, when we have more important things to discuss.

We ate in silence. After me spewing my verbal vomit, it’s justifiable to be inarticulate. We cleaned the mess we made in our tryst. I waited for him to say something. As the clock ticked its rhythm, I felt the foreboding in my bones.

‘I love you Rafa’, I blurted out without any preamble. Eloquent. That’s me. Not.

For the first time, Raphael Sinclair showed a crack in his façade. His face is frozen in shock. Just for a minute. Less than it. But that’s enough for me to realize, he cares.

He covered the distance separating us in 2 seconds, lifted me, and smashed his lips on mine. This kiss is of possession. Not inquisitive but demanding, urgent. It’s the kiss of realizing my love. Now he knows. I responded with every bit as passionate, eager for more. Satisfying to say that we had to redo the cleaning.

After we rearranged his office for the nth time, he took me in his arms and asked, ‘There is this charity ball. I want you to come with me’

‘What, no, please? Is that what you call asking?’, I exaggerated.

He lifted his eyebrow at that. God, I missed him doing that. It felt like old times…like safety.

‘Fiiinee’, I dragged.

‘Charity ball? Like expensive gowns, paparazzi with all those pompoms? You want me…to accompany you…to such an event? As a …as a date?’, I almost wanted to whisper the last part, afraid someone would hear it.

‘Yes. Like a date. Like me showing the girl, I’m dating. It was your idea to keep it quiet. Not anymore. Not after hearing what you said. I want the world to see you in my arms. Exhibiting to the world that this woman-’, he pulled me towards him even tighter.

‘Is my possession. My madness. My passion… Mine’, he finished stating his claim on me.

After what I said? Which one? I’m confused. The one where I blathered or the one where I blurted? I want to probe him some more. But first, I must return my own claim. Put my mark on him. I pointed at his chest with my finger and said, ‘You, my dear stubborn iceberg are mine too. No one can be near you…hold you…touch you- other than me’, I said this gave him butterfly kisses. ‘No one. God help her if someone tries to take you away from me. I will make a blood bath. I will fight for you till my last breath. And when I fight, I fight to win. You, Rafa, are my prize. My reward…my victory. No one touches what is mine. That’s a promise’

He grinned at my declaration. A full-blown grin…from Raphael Sinclair. It was like basking in the sunshine after a week-long rain. It felt that amazing.

‘Am I to be your trophy now? Should I be scared, Ms. Anderson?’

‘It would be better for everyone if you are’, my attempt to sound firm and faintly amused by his response failed abysmally.

‘Are you demanding me to fear you?’

I snorted at his question. It was ridiculous. ‘Now that would be the day. Imagine, Raphael Sinclair, cowering in front of his secretary.’

‘Not for a secretary. No. But in front of his lover’, he hinted.

My mouth went dry at what he is implying. ‘You would fear me as your lover?’

A wild urge to throw my arms around his neck and kiss the worry from his face rose in me. But I waited for his response. He didn’t give me any reply for 2 minutes. Just stared into my eyes. Finally, he whispered inaudibly, ‘As we are in a confessing mood, yes. I fear what you can do to me. I fear you will take an irreplaceable piece of me with you… when you leave. I fear the power you hold over my sanity. So, yes Erica Anderson, I fear you.’

I sucked my breath at his implication. When…not if. He made his mind that we have to part. A crack appeared in my heart at his insinuation.

‘No Rafa, if at all, it was you who held all the power in this. It must be I who shall fear you. But I’m not’, I hold his hand to my cheek, leaning into it. ‘Seriously not. You know why? Because I believe you. I believe in you…in us. I trust you, Rafa. With my life, my heart.’

He gave me a kiss tinged with fear, unable to resist. Before it could escalate to anything more, I questioned him, ‘Anyway, what charity ball? I handle your schedule and there is nothing in it.’

‘There is. It’s held at Sinclair Mansion.’

Sinclair Mansion