Chapter 10: Chapter 10

In Nigeria, there are some adventures you are very sure will hardly scale through Saturday, being a work-free day.

Saturdays in Nigeria are known for sanitation, laundry, morning devotion, weddings, owambe, and party jollof rice. Talking about weddings, mom attended a wedding party. Mom's friend, who knows a certain someone that knows another person who is related to the bride's family invited her. Fridaous on the other hand will never miss an opportunity to devour a smoky jollof rice and munch on deliciously prepared stewed goat meat.

I recently just finished my house chores and I'm currently in the kitchen making breakfast. White rice and egg sauce while Harriet is busy washing the dishes. It must come as a shock that a certified high class, slay queen like Harriet is doing the dishes. Well, turned out she lost her Instagram pageantry and has to continue washing plates for two weeks.

"Instagram diva? Madam Fashion pageantry?" I peered at Harriet who struggled so hard with washing plates because she doesn't want palm oil stains on her new acrylic nails.

"Don't you dare mock me, after all, I'm already doing the dishes." She issued a warning with a frown.

I chuckled and switched off the cooking gas. "I am not the one that made you lose, so please," I raised my palm to her face. "Do your task in peace."

"It is not your fault naw," she hissed. "I blame that stupid Kasali for parading the surface of this earth with the cocoyam he calls a phone.  How can a phone not have Instagram and Twitter in it?" She turned to me with her fist under her face in deep thoughts.

"It is none of my business. I need you to wash the damn dishes clean like someone who has actual hands." I snapped at her and walked towards the plate rack that contained clean plates.

I packed the clean plates into the soapy sink. "Oyah, wash them again."

"What is all this naw?" She cried, stamping her feet in frustration.

"It is you keeping up with your deal." I slapped her buttocks and chuckled.

I heading out of the kitchen to meet my boyfriend who sat on the couch watching black panther with attentiveness despite the fact that he had seen the movie times without numbers.

"Aw far? Is the food ready?" He kissed my cheek with undivided attention from the television.

"Yes, I'm waiting for Harriet to complete her task then we can all eat together." I laid my head on his exposed chest while he rubbed my head.

He hissed. "That foreign witch."

"I'm better than you, you are nothing but a local male ashawo." Harriet hollered from the kitchen.

"Will you guys just stop this nonsense this very minute?" I stood up with my hands in the air, silencing everyone immediately.

"Harriet, hurry with the dishes so we can eat. I'm starving." I plopped down heavily on the couch and rubbed my temples.

"Are you alright?" Marvis inclined his head and leaned back on the chair.

"Sure, I'm just tired," I said tiredly.

"I don't like your job. Can't you quit?" His forehead creased in concern.

"You know how hard it took me to get this kind of job." I groaned feeling frustrated already.

"But the job is clearly stressing you out, look at you," Marvis argued.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't have any choice, the pay is huge."

"Does it have to be about money all the time?"

"Excuse you?" I glared and sat upright, feeling offended already. "Money is important. Mom needs money to expand her provision business. My brother needs money to register for a diploma so he can study his dream course and here you are telling me crap."

"Fine!" He raised his hands as if to surrender. "Suit yourself."

"Yeah, whatever." I hissed and picked up my phone to answer my call.

"Hey, mom." I smiled when I heard the usual afrobeat song playing in the background.

"How are you, my baby?" Mom shouted amidst the noisy background.

"Fine ma, I hope you are enjoying yourself."

"Yes o, the party is worth the expensive clothes I bought and sewed." Mom said in a sing-song voice.

"I'm glad you are happy. What's up?"

"Are you alright at all?" She hissed getting angry immediately.

"Anhan mommy? What did I do?" My tone laced with humour.

"Can't I talk to my daughter again?" She snapped and I knew at that moment that she rolled her eyes.

"You definitely can, I'm sorry." I switched my phone to my other ear and picked up a glass of chilled water to drink.

"See ehn, when are you also getting married? All your mates are rocking beautifully embroidered wedding gown and they are marrying responsible men with good jobs." She whined in that tone that held no room for argument.

My heart sank immediately. "Mom, you need to calm down o." I scratched my head and furrowed my brows.

"I will calm down. Sheybi you want me to calm down in the grave before providing me with grandbabies." She emotionally blackmailed.

"Mom stop it, I don't like what you are saying. Very soon mom, I will get married and give you grandkids." I appeased.

"Hmm!" She hissed. "That has always been your anthem. Give me a specific date and time when you will grant my wishes."

"Mom, we need to be patient." I groaned.

"Patient? Do I look like I have time on my side?"

I rolled my eyes. "The patient dog eats the fattest bone so please let exercise patience."

"Nonsense!" She spat, "The patient dog eats remnants, crap." She hissed and hung up the call in annoyance.

I clasped my hands together and lay them on my head. The tenseness to my muscles that makes me more like a mannequin on a soft couch rather than a woman of flesh and bone. I want to so much melt on the soft foam, wrapped in warm blankets and drift into the world of dreams.

Yet my brain is a violent whirl of tiredness and stupidity, trying so hard to organize the chaos in my life. It seems to discover a way to control the capriciousness of people to acquiesce and please them so that our encounters are softer and less draining.

Of course, the task is pointless. Life is far too random for an average human brain to take the billions of factors that come together to form just one day for a person. Can my life not get any more complicated than it already is?

"That's mom, isn't it?" Marvis bit his lower lip, paying me full attention for the first time.

"Positive," I shrugged.

"Awn!" He cooed, drawing me closer. "Don't feel bad." He tugged at my cheeks, pulling them like a kid.

I chuckled. "I understand I'm not ready for marriage now," I said. "But when do you intend popping the question for real?" I frowned, peering into his eyes.

"C'mon Tife, you know we are both not ready for such huge responsibilities for now. I'm jobless, need I remind you?" Sincerity laced in his tone.

I sighed deeply and picked up his knuckles to kiss it. "It's going to be fine, isn't it?"

He nodded in affirmation. "Very correct my big baby. Now come here." He pulled me to his laps while I chuckled loudly.

"Stop tickling me." I laughed louder while he continued tickling me with his fingers, mouth, and breath.

"The real question should be why are you so ticklish." His laughter sounded deep as they rang in my eardrums.

My phone began ringing again, disrupting our jolly moment.

"Marvis, please hand over my phone." I stretched my hand to accept it.

The call ended and I threw it on the couch next to me and smiled at my boyfriend. Though he can be irresponsible sometimes but he makes me happy. We have stuck together for five years and I can't even imagine life without him.

My phone vibrated next to me again and I hurriedly accepted the call.

"Where the hell did you drop the documents I assigned to you yesterday." A voice hollered sternly.

"Even on a call, you are still quite unpleasant, Mr Adebayo." I rolled from Marcus' side to be on my own.

"Mind your language Tife." He spat.

"Need I remind you that today isn't a workday so you will do well by keeping your bullshits aside and talk to me with respect." My voice came out brutally than I expected. But I'm very sure it passed my message across because I heard him sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry I have been such a needle in your ass all week. The least I could do was talk to you normally today." His tone became softer making my heart melt temporarily. Alex never apologizes so who the hell is this?

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Nice adjective to qualify a real pain in the ass." I giggled and soon he was laughing along. I could imagine him with a small smirk.

"Okay, so I really need your help on this deal I want to close soon and I can't find the documents, so can you please come around to perform your magic?" His tone sounded so deep and masculine.

"Only if you will pay me for today." I smacked my lips and rubbed my arms.

"Deal," he said faster than a heartbeat.

"What? I was just kidding." I blurted out.

"Oh! So will I see you today?"

"I don't even know where you Live, Alex." I scratched my head.

"About that, I will send my personal chauffer to come pick you up."

"A chauffeur?" My eyes widened.

"A chauffeur is a drive-"

"I know what a chauffer is, it's just that not everyone is born with a silver or golden spoon. Some are born with wooden spoons and some completely spoonless." We both laughed.

"Fine, just text me your address and my chauffeur will be there to pick you up in twenty minutes if that will be fine by you."

"Yes, twenty minutes is more than enough time," I said hastily.

"Great, see you soon." He hung up.

Nothing supersedes the happiness you get when you come back tired and hungry from school or work and you find out that mom had cooked your favourite and it is sitting patiently, waiting for you to devour it. The happiness hits specially from within.

It is funny and quite shocking how the most ill-tempered and bad-mannered Alex I know, suddenly turned sweet and gentle. Sometimes I wonder if he suffers from bipolar or something.

"Who was that?" Marvis' voice broke my chain of thoughts.

"Uhm!" I cleared my throat.

He tilted his head to a side with a cocked up brown giving me a questioning look.

"My boss." I stared at everyone but him.

"What does he want?" He asked angrily.

"He needs my help at home."

"At home? Are you his maid?" He dreads fell over his right eyes, giving him the edgy look.

"Of course not," I said in disbelief. "There is a project he is working on and I need to be there to assist him as his personal secretary."

"I just hope your assistance doesn't end up in bed with him." He stood up and walked away.

"Jealous goat." I clicked my tongue and headed to my room to get something to wear.

I wore a black off-shoulder, body con gown, made of soft, stretchy fabric. Long, fitted, and quite comfortable.

I paired my gown with a baby pink cute loafers and gold ankle chain. I also did my edges and when I was sure I looked good enough, I walked out to join the already waiting chauffeur.

"Good morning mademoiselle," an old french man greeted me with his hats off as he opened the back door for me to hop in.

"Morning, Mr-" I paused, not knowing what to say.

"Louis, call me Louis, African beauty." The man smiled, revealing his broken teeth.

"Alright Mr Louis, but how did you get to work for Alex?" I asked and watched as he started the engine of the red Porsche.

"He saw me languishing in poverty back in France. I was just a street beggar back then." He peeped at me from the rearview mirror.

And when I said nothing, he continued. "So he employed me and brought me with him to Nigeria. He is a good man with a good heart but most times, he lets his aggression take the better part of him." He said as he navigated his away across the busy mainland.

"Hmm, I see." I nodded my head repeatedly.