Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Chapter 41

"You said what?" Lina asked me angrily when I told her about my conversation with Trevas.

I looked up at him whose face was already red with annoyance. "Why would you f*cking tell him that !?"

Lina tugged at her hair before looking at me annoyed.

"I'm sorry ok !? I'm still annoyed because we wasted our search for the frozen chrysanthemum and I can't tell her about it because of that pisting goddess of tears" I said before going to bed. Now that I'm calm, it's like I want to bang myself against the wall.

I don't know why I did that but I seem to be annoyed with him because he was cured of Lady Mara's frozen chrysanthemum and didn't appreciate my frozen chrysanthemum even though I knew he was innocent.

"So you're jealous of Lady Mara?" Lina asked who woke me up.

"What?"

"I knew it, you're mad at Trevas because you're jealous of Lady Mara ... You're so unreasonable" when he yelled at me.

"Am I?" I asked before going back to bed and staring at the wall.

"You know I hate you too"

"What did I do to you?" I will ask.

"Because of you Jared is mad at me"

"It's not my fault—"

"It's your fault! And if you don't greet Trevas I'll pimp him to Lady Mara!" Lina shouted before leaving the room.

I was stunned on the ceiling as I remembered what I was saying to Trevas. I shook my head and immediately got up to go to Trevas ’room and knock on Trevas’ room but I suddenly felt nervous without answering.

I knocked a few more times but no one answered.

"Miss Alissa?" I turned to the speaker and saw one of the servants carrying a laundry basket.

"Yeah?"

"Are you looking for His highness crown prince Trevas?" He asked so I suddenly looked away and nodded shyly.

"She's in the palace garden ... Talk to Lady Mara"

Suddenly I looked back at him and no one said he walked out of the courtyard and went to the palace garden as the maid said but I suddenly stopped when I saw Trevas and Lady Mara talking while having tea and laughing jaws.

I don't know what pushed me but I just found myself in front of the two of them and narrowed my eyes at them.

"Miss Alissa" Lady Mara greeted before standing up and bowing in my direction.

"Isn't that engaged to Luke?" Lady Mara suddenly stopped at what I said, probably surprised because I knew about it.

"Yes, I am" he replied in his gentle and elegant voice which made my blood boil even more.

"Then what are you doing here alone with other men?" I asked before looking at Trevas who was silently drinking tea as if he had nothing to do with our conversation with Lady Mara.

"I am taking to his highness crown prince about the—"

"Talking?" I laughed. "Is it really just a conversation?"

"pardon? Are you implying that I have a relationship with his highness?"

"Yes!" It was as if I wanted to shock myself for what I said but I didn't notice it.

Lady Mara stopped speaking before looking at Trevas. "Why are you looking at him? I'm the one you're talking to, aren't you?"

Lady Mara shook before bowing to me again. "You should talk to his highness if you have a problem with him"

"Four—"

"If you'll excuse me" he said before starting to walk away but before I could react Trevas also stood up in his seat before walking closer to me.

I stared into his eyes and he stared at me too.

I opened my mouth and was about to speak but Trevas just passed me and continued walking.

I turned to her and watched her back move farther and farther away. I was holding onto my chest and it was as if something was stuck there and I couldn’t stop my eyes from watering.

"So, you're still not getting along?" Lina asked in the evening as we ate dinner in the dining room

Until now I am still floating and it seems like there is a pain in my chest when I remember what happened earlier in the palace garden.

I was shaken in response to Lina's question.

"Did you even talk to him?" I shrugged when he asked and I just shook my head again.

I didn't have a chance to speak.

Lina put her spoon and fork on the side of her plate and it created a noise so I looked at her.

"Why can't you just tell him everything?" Lina sighed as if she was very tired of me.

"What should I tell him?"

"The f*cking truth, Alissa!" I suddenly stopped when Lina's voice grew louder.

He must have noticed that his speech was louder so he took a deep breath before drinking the water. "Tell him the truth so he won't misunderstand everything"

"Why do you seem so affected by my fight with Trevas?" I asked sharply as if I was more angry than Trevas.

"I'm sorry, it's just ... Jared still doesn't talk to me—"

"So it's all about your little baby Jared" I said laughing before drinking the water.

"This is not about me and Jared, Alissa. This is about you and you're stupid way of solving your problem" said Lina and there was a trace in her eyes that annoyed me.

I stared into Lina's eyes. Her words actually hurts me more than I realized. Lina and I often quarreled even when she was my personal maid but this is actually the first time we seriously fight and argue.

"Stupid way?" As I struggled, I could no longer think straight and was dominated by the anger I was feeling. "What do you want me to do? Tell him the truth? You know I can't tell Trevas the truth that's why we disappeared for three days we looked for a frozen chrysanthemum because we performed Infragilis Vow and swore there to the goddess of tears that we would never tell anyone everything we experienced in jeufengmountain "

"If you had listened to me when I told you not to continue to run away, I hope everything doesn't end like this"

My breathing deepened as I forced myself to calm down.

I wiped the tears that were falling from my eyes before speaking "Do you think I like all this happening?"

I continued to wipe away my tears but they continued to flow no matter what I did.

"I just want to find that stupid flower so that Trevas can be healed ... I didn't want Jared to be angry with you because when we left and Trevas would misunderstand everything"

Lina didn't say a word but I couldn't see much of the expression on her face because my vision was blurred because of the tears like a faucet flowing down my cheek.

"You care for Trevas so you did that? Then why are you hurting him now? Why are you pushing him away if you care about him?" Lina's voice was calm but I continued to wipe away my tears without stopping.

"Do you think I want to hurt Trevas? I really do like him but I'm too scared to get too close to him ...

I'm afraid of getting closer to Trevas because it hurts twice as much when the person you already love leaves you ...

Im tired Lina ... I'm so tired ...

I'm tired of people leaving me when they already love me

I'm tired of being abandoned so I'll push them away sooner so it won't be too painful when they leave. "

I could no longer control myself and I buried my face in my arm that was lying on the table. I even touched some plates in front of me but I ignored them and just cried.

I felt Lina sitting next to me before she sighed and caressed my back.

"Stop running away ..." he said. "Not everyone gets hurt wedge"

I sat straight before hugging Lina and she stroked my hair.

"I know you have trust issue when it comes to things like this ... But Trevas is not Luke .. they are different people alissa"

"I know that-"

"No, you don't know that because if you really know that, you won't be afraid that Trevas will repeat what Luke did to you"

I stopped before parting with Lina. "Then what should I do?"

"Just .. talk to him first ..."

The next day, I woke up early. Trevas, who probably slept in his office at the training camp, is still not coming home because Sergeant Min and colonel jay are busy investigating who really planned the attack on coronation day. Until now, it is still caught in Hinduism.

It was still a little dark and there were very few helpers awake. I walked to the kitchen and caught up with one of the kitchen staff who seemed to be just starting to cook breakfast. He stopped what he was doing when I nodded and bowed in my direction.

"I'll cook breakfast" I told him so he walked away and left me alone in the kitchen.

I'm not that good at cooking but I know so I just cooked a simple omelet and bacon. I put the food in a lunch box before serving the one for Lina on the table.

I plan to take the lunch box to the training camp because I know that Trevas often doesn't have breakfast when he's busy but as soon as I left the palace, the carriage I was riding in suddenly stopped.

"Why did we stop?" I asked the Coachman who was operating the carriage.

"Something is blocking our way miss Alissa" he said so I frowned and decided to get off the carriage to see who was blocking the way.

To be continued............