Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I couldn’t look into their eyes as they had no thought to what happened, except me. Even though I am not the one who is in charge of the incident, I’m still one of the reasons he died.

I couldn’t breathe properly, as if it had sucked all the surrounding air into another dimension, and I was lost in a constellation. Someone accidentally looked my way, and I jumped in surprise. They might think I’m the suspect here because of my behaviour.

I turned around, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. I bumped into other students who were going to opposite way. I don’t want to listen because I know enough that I locked eyes with the killer from the very moment.

He’s deranged. He couldn’t be serious. I know he’s a serial killer, but the thought of Chris just chilling in his room, suddenly the guy he looked up to attacked him and turned into a werewolf, that must be traumatizing up to his last breath. I attempted to keep my hands from shuddering with angst. But before I could step another foot, someone grabbed my elbow.

"No." I tried to pry away from his grip, but he didn't let me. I looked to my area to call for help, but they were busy looking over the case of Chris's sudden suicide, which is a slaughtering behind the mask.

His eyes locked into mine, and they spoke thousands of words. His hands tightened on my flesh, and his fangs shone brightly. I was too weak to fight back. He pushed me on my shoulder, guiding me towards an empty room with no people. He locked the door when we got inside, but he didn’t face me. I can still see the view of his broad and massive back. He’s breathing heavily, making an animalistic growl under his breath.

“E-ethan…please-” he punched the thick wall with his fist, creating a slight movement on the ground. I closed my eyes as I squeezed myself, shivering in fright as I prayed silently.

“You don’t get it, do you?” his voice is low and husky but threatening. He gradually stole a glance from my spot, and his eyes diminished as they gleamed with pure menace.

“Ethan, I don’t know what you are talking about-” before I could even finish what I was saying, I suddenly saw myself gasping for air as he choked me. It happened so fast. In just a blink of an eye, he’s strangling me.

“E-ethan…please!” I begged for him to stop, to spare my life. To give me a chance. I don’t have any idea why he’s mad at me. His hands hardened and I cough as I look up, panting so hard.

“He touched you! I told you that you’re forbidden to be touched!” his voice echoed in every corner of the room. I wish someone could see us, to stop him and sentence him for what he had done to me, his family, and to those innocent people he had killed. But to my dismay, no one heard us.

“E-ethan…he threatened me! H-he stomped on my back! He talked to me about your twin…”

His grip loosened a bit when I mentioned his twin, and I took this chance to breathe as my tears flowed furiously down to my cheeks, flowing on his hands.

“H-he made a bet on me. He didn’t love me. He just used me as his toy.” just like how you are using me.

He didn’t say anything as I tried to break his hands in contact with my neck. He gapes at me and shows no sentiment on his admonitory look. He suddenly dropped me on the ground, making me land on my elbow. I huffed a moan of pain when he grasped my hair and lifted my head, making me get a hold of his intimidating scowl.

“You really thought my twin ever loved you? You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

He drives me to the ground, leaving me behind. In just a blink, he's gone leaving the door open. I stare at the door for many minutes before sitting and caressing my damaged elbow. I stayed in that position, emptiness creeping in until I stood up and walked to the nurse's office to medicate my scars on the neck and my elbow.

“What happened to your neck? Have you been trying to kill yourself? Oh, dear. I have heard the news about the student who hanged himself. Please, if you have any problem, you can talk to me, dear.” the old lady wearing a white uniform sat beside me as she caressed my arm lightly.

I smiled weakly at her. The thought is sweet, and it makes my heart flutter, but I don’t want to include her in this mess. Everyone who I engaged with is getting killed. I couldn’t help but to balled my palms as I tried to ease away the guilt. I had to fix this. Innocent people are getting stricken.

I didn’t go to my following classes, or in other terms, and I skipped school. Instead, I went outside and strolled on the sidewalk. I steady my attention on the ground, not making eye contact with other people because I felt like it was forbidden or a sin to look into their eyes.

“Excuse me, Ma’am!”

I froze on my spot when a guy tapped me on my shoulder. I didn’t look at him, but I felt his glowing aura surrounding us both.

“Would you like to have a free taste?”

I swallow multiple times, letting air travel through my lungs as I feel like something is blocking its way. I was about to take a glance when I halted myself. The moment I spoke to this bystander, I had this feeling he would be gone the following day. Instead of saying something, I walked away, leaving the poor man confused why I didn’t talk to him.

This is making me sick. I don’t want this. I run away, not minding the tears that are flowing intensely—not watching the baffled looks from other people who are following me with their judgment. I have to stop these nightmares. It’s hard to reach up when you are drowning in darkness. I had enough of this existence. Twenty-one years of life is enough for me.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard a rush flowing of water beneath what I was standing on. I slowly opened my eyes and saw myself on the side of the bridge. I bit my inner cheeks as I looked down carefully. I almost fainted at the sheer height of the bridge. I recoiled, fearing that I might fall when I restrained myself. Isn't this what you want? Isn't this the right decision? So the people around you are no longer taken away from their loved ones, Natasha.

I nodded to myself as I stepped on the railings, keeping my body steady. When I got up, the wind harshly blew on my skin, as if it was pushing me to go. No one is around to stop me. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as my heart accelerated. In just one step, I fall.

I feel like my soul is leaving my body. I spread my arms wide, free from the cage like a bird flying. When my body splashed on the stream, that’s when I opened my mouth, letting the water go through. My body instinct fought back, but I controlled it. Stop fighting, Natasha. The world is unfair to you. Stop expecting from others. Stop expecting yourself to be loved.

Life would be so much easier if you stopped expecting.

I could no longer breathe because the water in my lungs was blocking. I smiled and looked up. Little by little, the darkness engulfed my vision. I am about to see the end. Somehow I became happy with my life, even if I just went through the motion.

Before I renege, someone dives into the water, swimming across the bottom. His hands reached mine, trying to catch me when darkness ate my vision, and I could no longer breathe.

“Natasha.”

I opened my eyes but closed them shut when a light illuminated. Wait, where am I? Is this heaven? I doubt this is heaven. I should be in hell.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, someone embraced me so tight I couldn’t breathe properly. I cough, and water comes out of my mouth. That’s when I realized I should be dead by now. I pushed the man who saved me, and I was faced with the man who made my life hapless. I can't believe this. Is he kidding me?

Ethan? Did he save me?

"W-why?" I asked him when silence invaded us. He didn't say anything as his eyes just roamed around my face, looking at me cautiously. My lips formed into uncontrollable sobs. I couldn't take it anymore. I punched him on his chest.

"WHY?! Why did you save if you just want to see me suffer while living?!" I shouted with pure menace. His chest was hard as steel, but that didn't stop me from attacking him.

“Because of what?! You’re the one who is going to kill me?! Is that it?!” I pointed him my finger. It looks like he didn’t like it because his eyes constricted into slits, letting out a low growl. I don’t care anymore! I want answers from him!

Because in the first place, I shouldn’t be here! Alive and still kicking!

“WHAT?!”

He suddenly grabbed me both of my shoulders then lifted me carefully. His eyes are flaring as his jaw moves, tightening while breathing lightly.

“Shut up! I should be the one who will kill you! So shut up!” he pushed me on the ground, hitting my head on the thickened floor. I grunted in pain as I tried to stand up. I was caught on the edge of the table, and I felt a sharp object rest on it. I glanced at it and saw a sharp knife. Ethan saw what I was holding. He was about to launch over me when I grabbed it and pointed at my neck.

“This is what you wanted, right? To see me suffer? To see blood!” I laughed humorlessly as the mixture of his face worsened. His jaw moved as he tried to come close to me.

“Don’t even think about it, Natasha,” he commanded, but I didn’t listen to him. I am so sick of him controlling me.

“Don’t call me Natasha! I’m so sick of life! You and your twin are both manipulative! I was glad you killed him, but not those people around me! I’m sorry but I have to do this. I need to end my misery.”

I smiled at him as a tear fall of my cheeks. I gave him my sincerest smile for saying good bye. I hope he will have a good life. I hope soon after my death, he’ll change for the better.

Even if it’s impossible.

I gripped the knife tightly, flaring it directly into my heart when he pushed me against the wall. We fall onto the ground. I grunted in pain and was about to fight back when I heard someone is sobbing. I froze on my spot and gradually looked down at Ethan, hugging me on my torso, scared to let go.

He’s crying, and I don’t know why.