Chapter 38: Chapter 38

"You'll both have to complete the child care and adoption course but that can be done whilst the child has a trial month with you. How does that sound?" The manager of the adoption centre asks Tobias and I, her eyes flickering between both of us. I nod my head, glancing down at the paperwork in my hands.

"A trial month sounds great. What happens if the child doesn't settle in?" I ask her, wanting to know more. She smiles and leans backwards in her chair —

"We'll do everything we can to make sure the child is comfortable. If they aren't and it's not a right match, that's okay too. This is forever so we have to make sure we get it right."

"That makes sense." Tobias says, giving my hand a squeeze.

"During the month, you'll have numerous home visits. Some will be scheduled and others will be unannounced but don't worry, we're not trying to catch you out. It's mandatory for us to keep checking in." She explains, handing me another piece of information.

"I study once a week so during that time, Tobias will be caring alone. Is that okay?" I ask nervously. She nods her head, reassuring my nerves.

"Of course. We understand that and we urge you to finish your education and get that degree in Childcare. It looks great on your self profile." She smiles at me and I nod, my shoulders relaxing.

"Fostering is considered a job and you'll be paid accordingly. We couldn't be more excited to have you two on board." The manager smiles, standing up and out of her chair. Tobias and I mirror her actions and I feel excitement begin to bubble away inside my chest. I know it's only a trial month but this could eventually lead into Tobias and I caring for a child and having our own little family.

"Are you okay with all of this?" I murmur. He intertwines our fingers together, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I couldn't be more excited. I feel like I've finally got a real purpose in life, you know?" He says, brown eyes sparkling at me. I nod my head, unable to contain my own glee as we follow the manager out of the office and towards the children's room.

"Are you ready to meet the younger ones?" She asks Tobias and I as we all stand outside of the door. I can hear them on the other side playing, laughing and chattering to one another. We both nod our head.

"I'll leave you two alone to wonder around and talk to them. If you feel a special connection with anyone, let me know and I'll give you the back story to each child. Take your time, there's no rush." She tells us firmly before opening the door and gesturing for us to walk inside.

My heart swells as I walk into a room filled with around ten little boys. Some of them are playing together, others are playing alone. The age ranges start from around two years to five. Automatically I think of Leroy and instead of feeling heart broken, it brings a smile to my face.

"Wow, this is overwhelming." Tobias says quietly, blowing out a short breath. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze, reminding him of some comforting words —

"We can take our time, nothing has to be decided right now. It's just a trial, you'll be great."

He nods his head, the nervous look on his face melting away. As we step inside, multiple sets of eyes land on us. Some children shy away, hiding behind their friends whereas one or two pick up a toy and head straight towards us. I bend down, reaching their level and Tobias does the same.

"Hi honey," I say softly to the first boy wanting my attention. He's holding a toy hammer, his large eyes looking directly at mine.

"Can you play with me?" He asks, his voice sweet and angelic. I laugh and nod my head, picking up a toy screwdriver from beside him.

"Of course I can."

Tobias and I spend the next hour chatting and playing with every single boy, our hearts filled with excitement, nerves and love. From the corner of my eye, I notice a dark blonde haired boy, no older than three sat on his own. He's cushioned between a beanbag and a teddy bear and clutching a doll in his hand. His large brown eyes are filled with a sadness that I've only ever seen once before.

When I first met Leroy.

I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me and I slowly stand up, my eyes trained directly on him. He isn't moving, he isn't playing like the others but instead he's clutching a toy tightly in his hand, refusing to look up from the floor. I feel my throat dry out in nerves as I slowly walk towards him. When I bend down and sit cross legged beside him, I watch him flinch slightly before masking it over.

"Hello," I say quietly. I don't get a response back. It's like my words have fallen upon deaf ears and he shows no sign of being able to hear me. I decide to try again.

"I like your toy."

This seems to get a reaction out of him and he glances down at the toy he's holding.

"Woody." He whispers, his voice quiet and timid. I smile and lean forward, taking a closer look at the doll. He's right, it's definitely the cowboy from the movie.

"Do you like Woody? He's also my favourite." I say quietly. The little boy eventually looks up, directly at me. His large eyes, small button nose and red cheeks instantly catch my heart. I inhale sharply, feeling like I've been hit in the chest with a strong impact.

"Woody." He repeats again, slightly louder this time.

"Yes, Woody." I smile, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair away from my face. The small action causes the boy to flinch again and I automatically feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you." I tell him softly. My mind floods with thoughts on what the little boy may have possibly seen or experienced. I can feel my heart break for him and a fierce protective feeling washes over me. He doesn't respond but watches me intently, the sadness drowning in his eyes.

"My name is Trish. What's yours?" I ask him. He looks like he's thinking hard for a few seconds before he eventually responds, clutching the toy cowboy close to his chest —

"Jason. My name is Jason.”