Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Ethan’s POV

Cutting — using a sharp object to cut your own skin on purpose until it bleeds — is a form of self-injury. People sometimes self-injure by burning their skin with the lit end of a cigarette, a lighter, or a match. Some people turn to this behaviour when they have problems or painful feelings and haven't found another way to cope or get relief.

Most of the time, people who cut themselves don't talk about it or let others know they’re doing it. But sometimes they confide in a friend. Sometimes a friend might find out in another way.

Without help, people who cut also may continue to feel socially isolated and depressed. People who self-injure may have other problems such as eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or severe depression that require long-term professional care.

" Hey..! ", Gavin calls from my behind. I turn around on the desk chair, averting my attention from my laptop to him.

" Why are you now reading about self harm ?", he inquires with furrowed eyebrows.

" Nothing.", I shrug. " Why you called ?"

" Light in the bathroom isn't working. Can I take your lamp?", he asks.

"Okay.", I nod and turn my attention back to the computer. Gavin stays behind me for one or two seconds before he turn and walk to the bathroom.

It's more than an hour since I'm reading about self harm from various sites. Although Michael promised me he won't cut himself again, I'm not sure he'll keep that promise. And internet says, it's really difficult to dissuade people from self harming, especially if they have got addicted to cutting since long time.

But Michael just started cutting last week. Don't know. Maybe he used to cut his thighs or other such areas. But I hope he started cutting only last week. Or it's gonna be difficult to help him.

And does he have eating disorders? I really doubt he have lunch and dinner. I need to check on that. I'll clear it tomorrow itself.

I know it's all my fault. I need to fix the mess I've made. I need to somehow help Michael. I'm not again standing silent with those monsters while they bully and torture people. I'm calling off my friendship with them tomorrow itself. I can't again become a reason for someone else's tears. I'll reach nowhere with all those innocent kids curses on me. I need to become good. At least now.

And now is the perfect chance to become good. Grace offered to help and she can really help. She is police commissioner's daughter. And she is smart and bold. Nobody will dare to speak against her. If Michael is her friend, nobody will touch him. It's a really good thing Grace came. I also need to keep her my friend.

After reading some more through the Wikipedia and referring various other sites on how to help people who self harm, I finally close the laptop feeling exhausted and go to my bed.

Gavin is now sitting on his bed, playing some video game on his tab. We still haven't really talked to each other. He is always preoccupied in his own world with his video games, movies, songs and other works. Or maybe he just didn't like me. I don't know. Anyway I don't have any plan to go to him and start a conversation. So I lie back on my bed and pull up my covers, thinking about what to do tomorrow.

I wake up to the sound of someone knocking on my door along with Gavin groaning on his bed in half slumber. I reluctantly let my eyelids open and tilt my head to look at the alarm clock. It's only 5: 50 Am. Who is knocking so early on our doors ?

Football practice is at 6:30. And today is Wednesday. I don't have football practice today. Then maybe it's Gavin's basketball friends calling him for practice.

" Gavin..", I call him.

" Who the hell is making that sound ? Stop it !",he groans squirming on his bed.

" I think it's your friends. Go open the door.", I scoff feeling annoyed.

" My friends ??", he grumbles and sit up on his bed, rubbing his eyes. Then he sheepishly crawl out of the bed and walk to the door, mumbling something. I close my eyes and again pull up my covers but I quickly pull them down on hearing angered voices.

I kick off my blankets and sit up to see Tony and Kevin at the doors bickering with Gavin. Instantly my heart starts beating fast.

" What the fuck do you want this early in the morning?", Gavin sneers at them.

" How dare you talk to us like that ?", Tony scoff looking intimidatingly at Gavin.

" Who the hell do you think you are ?", Gavin asks through a yawn.

" You ! ", Tony snap and reach for Gavin's collar but he yanks Tony's hands away whilst glaring back at him. Kevin was about to throw a fist at Gavin but I quickly jump out of my bed and rush to them.

" What are you both doing here at this time ?", I ask.

" That Nate didn't write the assignment we told him yesterday. We are going to go find his room and deal with him first. He shouldn't disobey us again.", Tony says.

" It was me who told him not to write that assignment.", I say.

" What ?", Tony scrunches his eyebrows. " You told him not to write? Why ? So you meant what you said yesterday?"

" Yes. Tony, you can't make him do your works. If you want to submit assignments, then you have to write it yourself. You have hands to use, right ?", I ask.

The three of them, Tony, Kevin and Gavin looks shocked and surprised at me.

" What did you say ?", Kevin scoff in surprise.

" Are you deaf ? I think I was enough audible.", I say crossing my hands.

" Do you really know what you are doing ?", Tony asks.

" Yes..I clearly know what I'm doing. I said I can't come with you guys to bully Michael or any other person anymore. I quit. Because we are all doing wrong. Let me tell you, We are all absolute dicks for what we did all this time. None of us are better than the other. But I want to change. And I want you all to change along with me. It's not by ruining others lives that we get our things done and gain popularity in school. ", I try to say things calmly without letting my anger over power me. But I can see Tony's jaw clenching and I can understand he is really angry.

" We don't see anything wrong in what we are doing. We bully those people who are not deserving to be here. Especially this Michael. How can you talk to us like this for a stupid worthless person like him ?", Kevin snarls.

" Stupid worthless person ?", I ask feeling anger rush into my veins. " How is he stupid and worthless ? Tell me ? He is extremely brilliant, unlike you guys. He is a talented artist unlike you guys who can't even draw your own record books. You guys are absolutely worthless in front of Michael.", I say in exasperation.

" You ! How dare you Ethan ! How dare you say we are worthless compared to that nerd. You are now out of our team ! ", Tony cries furious.

" Thank you so much.", I say sarcastically. " I'm tired being with sick people like you. How can you live knowing you are ruining other people's life ? I can't live with that guilt like you guys do. I can't be okay with knowing I've physically and emotionally hurt a lot of people for what they actually are. It's terrible. I'm tired of standing silent, all this while. I can't do it again and I won't. Tell Amelia and Sofia too. You are all seriously sick for bullying people and ruining other’s life. You need to treat yourself. Tell me, why you want to ruin Michael's life this much ? What did Michael ever did to you all ? Do you know how much he suffered ? Do you at least have a heart ?" I snap in anger.

" Ethan..it's not us who is sick. It's you. You are fucking sick now. You have caught the disgusting gay fever. Can't believe you have gone gay for him. You know, you are the one who needs treatment. Didn't know you were a fucking queer !", Kevin snarls.

" Fuck ! Can't believe we were friends with this fag ! ", Tony adds.

" You are the actual fags ! Honestly I haven't seen worse fags than you. Get out of our room.", Gavin scoffs in exasperation.

" You fucking wimp ! shut up ! You are playing with fire right now. Do you know what I can do to you ?", Tony asks, fire burning in his eyes.

" You do anything Tony. But know that, you won't reach anywhere at the end. You'll be only a loser at the end.", I say.

" He is already a fucking loser.", Gavin says.

" Ethan you'll pay for this !", Kevin warns in a low growl while Tony glares daggers at me and Gavin. Then they turn and walk away furiously.

" Yeah..Fuck off ! ", Gavin shouts at them and then slams our room door shut. Then he looks at me and smiles widely. " That was amazing ! Dude you did a great job today. ", he says.

" Thanks.", I nod my head and walk to my bed, crawling up on it.

Gavin follows me and sit on the edge of my bed. " I never thought you'd ever stand up to them. In fact I thought you are just one among them. ", he says.

" Everybody thinks of me like that. But now it's time to change that belief. I'm honestly tired of being with them. I hate them.", I say.

"Ethan, I hate them a fucking lot. I'm so happy for what you did just now. Now let's be best friends. ", Gavin says smiling widely and extends his hands to me. I take it with a smile.

" But I'm worried thinking what is about to happen. Don't know what they will do to me.", I say.

" They won't do anything. You don't need to worry. I'm with you.", Gavin says patting on my shoulder. I just nod my head while thinking whether they'll do something to Michael. What will be Amelia's reaction after knowing what just happened ? She might first of all plan something for Michael.