Chapter 9: Chapter 9

In sports, you can't avoid people with impulsive behavior.

Some have a strong desire to win at the expense of strained relationships among the team, others for the sake of becoming better in their skills.

Some took the initiative to deal with drugs.

A coping mechanism he often heard from shower room gossip.

Their team kicker, Caden, had the yips, he usually bawled each time he nervously kicked the ball during training. They considered him the dark horse of the team but the pressure they kept on him, made him psychologically incapable to please them.

Thus, after two weeks of the yips, he miraculously overcame it and was doing successful kicks.

Only to find out that he had been on steroids to keep going.

Anton knew. The consequence of letting that itch embedded in your mind and you couldn’t escape it.

He knew all of that.

But he didn’t expect Fin to have an addiction.

Once again, he was rendered speechless. He was wondering if Fin had the talent of making his brain circulation stop.

In fact, he was already more tired than he was before he…caught her.

Fin finally sighed as she ruffled her hair again. “I’ll help you find a new place.”

“What?” he yelled in surprise. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” she asked who was as oddly surprised as him. “The cat’s out of the bag, you have to leave.”

“No, I—” he cut himself as he sighed. “Why are you bringing this up, Fin?”

“Again, you and your damn questions,” she said, frowning.

“I rarely asked questions because of your stupid rules!” He retorted, making Fin slightly flinched.

“Look,” he said, scratching his hair in contemplation. “I don’t get why your addiction is connected to my stay here.”

Fin blinked. “Emma, you’re a fucking man,” she replied then reverted back to a glare.

He looked at her, uncertainty was shown on his face. “So?”

“You are defenseless at night, you do know I might go straight to your room and attack you?”

“Isn’t that the other way around?”

“But would you enjoy casual sex?”

“N-no, I--” he stopped himself.

He thought for a moment and her words had finally sunk in.

Oh.

She didn’t mean that she couldn’t trust him.

It was the other way around.

This made him flustered.

“Do you get it now?” She continued to glare at him. He could see the look of anger, frustration, and a hint of fear. He didn’t know why he thought Fin had the look of fear in her eyes.

But Anton couldn’t understand it. He didn’t know how to react and he didn’t know how this led to them in separate ways soon.

But he must need to know.

“If that’s the case,” he finally said. “Before I make my decision, I want to ask you questions, Fin. The least you could do as a friend.”

Fin didn’t answer for a while, her expression showed contemplation, and eventually, she replied, “As long as you don’t talk about rule number 4.”

Rule number 4: Don’t talk about football.

Frankly, he hadn’t thought about it for a while since he, too, would be too depressed to talk about football as well.

“About your sex addiction?”

Fin felt a bit uncomfortable then she nodded. “I discovered I had it after I left high school. My parents kicked me out during my freshman year.”

“WHAT?!” Anton exclaimed, his eyes were as wide as a saucepan. “WHY?” He couldn’t believe that Fin’s parents had done this to her.

He recalled how strict her parents were to the extent they forced her to homeschool and each time they accidentally saw each other, her mom often looked down on him.

“An immigrant like you should go back where you came from,” muttered her mom.

Yeah, he had a terrible impression on her parents. But they thought the best of Fin but abandoning her?

“I’ll tell you someday, we’re talking about my problem here,” she said, rolling her eyes.

But isn’t this a big problem? He was about to ask but decided to bite his lower lip from saying much.

“Anyway, living on the streets felt shit, so I know how you felt when you were homeless,” she continued while smiling wryly at the thought of it. “I was fortunate it was in Canada, otherwise I couldn’t last long here.”

“Well, I’m just glad you decided to let me stay,” he said, chuckling nervously.

Fin didn’t answer while she was staring at him. After a while, she continued, “I was homeless and hungry for a month. I had no friends to help me back then,” she said while her face darkened into a scowl. “I wasn’t fortunate to meet anyone who would take me...until I met Darius.”

“Darius, he, well, like some sort of a shitty soap opera, he found me at the park. He was the first adult who listened to my story of a shithole you called life and then decided to offer me a stay at his place and I have been living with him before I moved back here.”

“And no,” she quickly added, looking intently towards Anton. “He ain’t a fucking pedo or whatever. He picked me up because, as weird as it sounds, he straightaway asked if I wanted to be his assistant for his jewelry brand.”

Anton raised an eyebrow, his face showing doubt. “So, you’re saying he randomly picked someone up at the park just so he could hire someone?”

“Yes, it was sketchy for me at first but I had no choice then.” She sighed. “Fortunately, Darius meant it when he wanted me to be his jewelry assistant.”

It didn’t help Anton to feel doubtful. “And nothing happened, right?”

His instincts were right as Fin once again showed her vulnerable side as her cheeks turned pink. “When I turned eighteen since Darius meant so much to me, I told him we could fuck.”

“What?!” Anton gaped in disbelief. “H-he didn’t agree, right?”

“Darius is a weird grown-ass adult so he immediately said yes.”

“WHAT?!” Anton might have hurt his jaw by now.

“We have been fuck buddies since,” she said, once again showing an uncanny nostalgic look on her face each time she mentioned him.

“And h-he’s the reason why you are addicted to it?” He wasn’t sure where this story was leading to.

She hesitated for a moment as her face darkened. “I guess I didn’t explain it in the right order. Darius wasn’t my first, just to let you know. I…I had my first time with a senior student from school. Shit happened and I was stuck in limbo. Not only for survival but a craving…to fuck someone again.”

Anton gulped. Was there something wrong with her high school? He wanted to ask but he decided to be patient.

Fin was slowly opening to him. Anymore outside her main topic might ruin his chance to talk to her like this again.

“It was my excuse to repay Darius. In fact, Darius had seen through me and offered his help.”

“You know,” she continued. “I lied that I was repaying Darius for everything he had done. But he saw through me and accepted my request. He was aware that I was… suffering from it and thought that if there was a way for me to stop sleeping random guys, at least he properly took care of me.”

“By...by sleeping with you?” He wasn’t sure if that’s the best solution.  Hopefully, this Darius guy wasn’t taking advantage of her. “And have you been in therapy even once?”

She nodded. “I am still in contact with a psychiatrist. But the pills won’t help anymore if I just followed her ways of abstinence. As I said, now, I’m fine with just one or two and I could just go on with my day.”

“But before that, I was crazy. If it weren’t for Darius helping me focus on jewelry making… I couldn’t… I couldn’t live without sex anymore.”

Anton hesitated for a while. Unsure what to say next. “And where is Darius?”

She smirked. “Probably traveling around the world, who knows?” She shrugged. “He suddenly told me I should move to the US and manage a small store of my own.”

“And the name, Maiden’s Rose Jewelry?”

“I made that name for myself, so?” She gave him a judging glare as she crossed her arms.

“Ah, no, that’s cool, actually!” He made a mental note to himself not to address her store as too “feminine” despite her appearance.

“So, now you know about my addiction story.” Then Fin slumped on the sofa as her head turned to face him. “Do you still want to live with me, knowing that I might potentially attack you anytime:?

“Err…” Anton instinctively backed away a bit and he regretted doing so.

Fin noticed it immediately and continued. “Anton, if you want to stay here longer, I’ll make you a deal.” She scooted herself closer to Anton as she placed her two feet on the couch.

She moved her long wavy dark hair on the side, to see more of her face as her eyes continued to dart on his puzzled one.

He wasn’t sure where this was going, yet again. As this was the closest proximity he ever had with her.

“Sleep with me.”