Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Anton didn’t know what to say. A strange sense of deja vu looming over his mind as he stayed there frozen stiff. Many thoughts were all over the place, trying to decipher the situation.

With Melissa, his body moved on its own, assisting him to do the right thing: to get away.

But right now, his body didn’t move but instead, it placed him in a situation he wished he shouldn’t be.

Instead of anger, his feelings at the moment were a mixture of shock, embarrassment and uncertainty.

The man cleared his throat, cutting off the tension in the room. He slowly stood up and fixed his wrinkled dress shirt then turned to her. “Well, it seemed that our time was cut short. If you excuse me.”

He took his business suit which was lying on the floor next to him and stridded his way towards Anton. He passed by Anton and gave him a wink. “She loves it rough, good luck.”

What? But he bit his lower lip. Anton didn’t trust himself to speak.

And after that, the mysterious man left the place.

What was that about?

Fin was already standing from the floor, putting on her navy blue top. Her face was covered with her long hair so that he couldn’t see her expression properly. Her back was turned against him, hiding her trembling fingers as it made its way to put back her jeans.

“Ugh, sorry,” he said, unsure what he was apologizing for. “Uh, s-should I get him back?”

She didn’t turn to face him but instead, she shook her head.

For the first time, Fin looked  so… small.

The way she acted so vulnerable, her shivering body, Anton put two to two together and his eyes widened.

“Oh, God, Fin, did he—?”

“No!” Her sudden outburst caught him by surprise. “That’s not it,” she said in a whisper-like tone.

He walked a bit closer to her. “Then, can you look at me?”

“No, don’t step any further,” she demanded. Her body is still shaking. “Just..just go back to your room, Emma.”

He didn’t buy any bullshit she was sprouting. Frowning, he said, “Why? You’re not my mom, Fin.” He marched closer to her. “I can’t ignore and forget what happened.”

He was now an inch closer next to her and then, he made her turn in his direction.

“Stop! I said, stop!” Anton thought she was acting childish all of the sudden. He regretted forcing her to face him but now she was just hiding her face.

“Fin, I don’t believe you if you’re acting like that!” he exclaimed, as he held both of her wrists gently. “If he was hurting you, I should have—”

“I said it wasn’t like that, Anton!” She yelled. Her outburst instinctively pulled her arms away from him. Anton stared at her face and Fin, once again, caught him off-guard.

Fin was known to have a cold exterior. Her eyes always looked down on you despite being shorter. She was always cool yet hot-headed at the same time.

Yet before him, Fin’s face showed a different expression he had never seen before.

Face completely beet-red, eyes showed genuine embarrassment despite her attempt of a glare, and her lips unconsciously parted each time she panted.

If anything she looked...erotic.

“He didn’t fucking force me, okay?” She said, glaring at him. “I called him cause I thought you weren’t coming back so soon!

“Come again?” Snapping his thoughts and wondering if the wrestler in a tutu dress should do the remedy later.

“You heard me,” she growled, looking away from him. “You said you were going on a date.”

“Huh? Who said that I—”

Anton suddenly recalled their conversation earlier and he had realized he only gave her a vague answer. He didn’t think she made an assumption that he was dating tonight.

“Uh, let’s just forget that. But maybe we should bring your boyfriend back here. I feel kinda bad interrupting you two.”

“It’s fine,” she muttered.

“You sure?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean I don’t want him to misunderstand.” He recalled what the man said and he blushed. “I...I mean, he got the wrong idea about us.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she corrected him, sternly. She sighed and her hand rubbed her messy dark hair. “He’s just some guy.”

“Some guy,” he repeated. He pondered about something then asked, “Then, Fin, why are you still shaking?”

If anything, she looked way too vulnerable that he became worried. Women often pretended to be okay.

With the exception of her sudden burst, she hadn’t been looking him in the eye as she was muttering under breath. Her face still flushed, small droplets of sweat on her temple and her body is still shivering.

“Why are you suddenly asking these questions?” she retorted, weakly. “We have rules, Emma.”

“I don’t care about those rules when you’re like this, Fin,” he said, grabbing her shoulder which made her flinch. “You have to trust me. I promise I won’t judge you for this.”

She quivered and turned her back against him. Anton waited patiently if Fin finally accepted his act of kindness.

In his mind, if Fin ever thought of him as her friend, she had to trust him.

Fin sighed till she said, “In the laundry basket, I want you to get a small box there.”

“The laundry basket that you put a sign of “Don’t Touch” in it?” He asked, recalling the time when she had a hissy fit after he washed his dirty clothes piling in her basket. The next day, he noticed a visibly large paper of that sign placed in her laundry basket.

He rummaged without making a mess till he found it placely underneath all of the worn clothes. She intentionally hid it somewhere where people couldn’t find it.

“This one?” Showing her a small black tin.

She nodded, still not looking at him. “Just open it.”

He wasn’t sure what this was all about but he did as he was told.

“What the?” He exclaimed, his jaw dropped a bit.

The box contained blister packs with unfamiliar medical names he had never seen before.

Prozac.

Anafranil.

Naltrexone.

Guanfacine.

“W-what are these?” Intuition told him that these weren’t just over-the-counter medicine. “Fin, you know I’m freaking slow, you have to tell me what these are for?”

There was this tense silence between them. Anton, waiting for her response, his heart beating a bit louder due to fear, worry and concern. Fin who hadn’t looked him in the eye and shivering till now finally made her way and sat on the couch.

Then she looked at him. “They help me stop my cravings. C-can you get me some water?”

Cravings?

He didn’t pry even more as he hurriedly went to the kitchen and filled up the water from the sink. Then he went back with a glass of water and a box filled with her medicine.

Fin didn’t hesitate but to grab one of the blister packs and popped four pills directly into her mouth. A glass of water next then gulped everything in one go.

After a while, she leaned against the couch, her face still flustered, inaudible pants from her parted lips as she slid down a bit till her legs were resting on the floor.

“Sit next to me,” she whispered.

Anton was unsure if it was safe to be next to her especially when she acted very strange. He obediently followed her like usual and sat next to her.

He might be concerned and all about her behavior tonight but at the back of his mind, he felt a great sigh of relief to be actually closer to her now.

For now he was just waiting for her to speak up.

“That man, I barely even remember his name, he was just someone I met at the bar,” she said, finally breaking the silence once the medicine kicked in. She was no longer quivering like a baby deer now.

Then she quickly added while glaring at him, “Before you go on your own assumptions, we only have a consensual fuck. Nothing more.”

“And...and the shaking?” Anton queried.

She looked away as her eyes stared at her own feet. “If I couldn’t get a single fuck in a night, I would have gone fucking crazy.”

Anton was silent, his mind once again tried to process what she was saying.

“My cravings are my impulsions. It would stop after I fucked one or two guys,” she continued.

“W-what do you mean, Fin?”

She looked at him and then her lips curved into a  smile.

Not the one that showed genuine joy or bliss.

But rather a smile that reminded himself before he parted ways with Mikey.

A smile that showed forlorning and sadness.

“I have sex addiction.”