Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Soren still hadn’t showered by the time James had finished dinner. She could tell because the sounds of pots and pans clanging had stopped and she could almost sense his presence at the kitchen island, sitting and waiting for her to show. She knew he could tell she hadn’t showered yet, she had fast learned that his senses were much more heightened than hers and that he would’ve been able to hear the running of the water. She appreciated the fact that he hadn’t come bursting up the stairs yet, she could picture him banging on the door asking her what’s wrong and how he could help, but he held back, and for that she was grateful.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to shower, or even that she couldn’t figure out how it worked. Rather the reason she stood motionless, bare feet planted firmly on the hardwood floor, was the floor to ceiling mirror that took up part of the bathroom wall. It had been years since she had seen her true reflection, as a small child her family had had a cracked hand-held mirror that she used to be bewitched by. She had used to stare at herself in curiosity as a child, sometimes pretending that the girl in the mirror was a friend from the neighbourhood, another girl that could play games with her. Since the woods she had only ever caught versions of her reflection in the running water of the stream, watching as it morphed her features.
Now though, she was entranced and almost scared of the girl that stared back at her. Warm light cascaded off of her golden blonde locks, a tangled mess down her back. Her cheekbones were high but gaunt and it looked like she was severely malnourished. The clothes she was wearing drowned her, her dirty toes peeking out from the bottoms of the light grey sweatpants she was wearing. Soren didn’t recognize the poor helpless stranger that stared back at her. Without her furs and her bow the girl in the mirror looked lost and out of place. Unrecognizable eyes locked eyes with hers, they were a haunting blue grey, deep and lonely. If eyes truly were the windows to the soul, one look at Soren’s and you’d question how she could still have one, years of isolation and repressed emotions – more specifically misery, were hidden behind them.
A knock on the door behind her alerted her to James’ presence, it seemed he could only stay away for so long, and she was sure her lack of motion had made him nervous.
“Ren? You okay in there? Do you need help working the shower?” When she didn’t answer he knocked again,
“If you don’t answer I’m going to have to come in, I need to know your okay.”
Soren moved her lips in response, but no sound came out. She could not make her focus leave the ghost of herself that stood across from her. She heard the handle of the door turn, she had not locked it, showing once again how much trust she had placed in James and his intentions. He came into view in the mirror, he was stood behind her with concern in his eyes. Much like hers, James’ eyes told a story, only his was one of caring and compassion, where hers was one of loss and hopelessness.
“Is that me?” She whispered, her voice sounding hoarse as it left her, her throat was clenched tight and she felt for the first time in years that she might be close to tears.
Taking a risk, James placed his calloused hand on her bicep, pulling her into his chest,
“You’re beautiful.”
His words hung in the air between them as he waited for her to acknowledge them, but it was like she hadn’t heard him, so focused on herself. His heart broke for his mate as she stared at the person she had become. While noticeably thin, with a feral air to her, he wasn’t lying when he said she was beautiful. She was dirty and frail, but he knew after a shower, some clothes that fit and a healthy well-balanced diet, she’d be regal in her looks. He liked the savage aura about her, it would make her fit in more amongst the wolves, and he knew after a bit of training and a history lesson, she would make the perfect Beta Female.
“How about we get you into that shower now? I promise you’ll feel better afterwards.”
She turned away from inspecting herself and he knew that was the only answer he was going to get out of her. Turning on the water he adjusted it so it wouldn’t burn her delicate human skin.
“I’ll lay a change of clothes on the bed and go back downstairs to give you some privacy, okay?”
He started to back out of the room, turning around quickly when she made to undress in front of him. She did not seem to think twice about baring her skin to him, and as a wolf he was comfortable being as naked as the day he was born, hell, he’d seen more of his pack members bodies than he’d ever wanted to, but seeing her naked felt like something sacred, a step neither of them where ready for.
Heading back to the kitchen where their meals sat untouched and now cold, he placed them in the microwave to reheat when she was done. This time he could hear the shower curtain opening and closing, trying to stop his mind from thinking about the fact that she was right above him, naked and covered in his scent. He forced his mind instead to think about her reaction to seeing her own reflection, where was the fierce survivor he had spent the winter with? It seemed all it took was seeing what had become of herself to break her and turn her into a meek creature, one that didn’t fit what he knew to be her true personality. He would just have to prove to her that she was enough, that she was just as fierce and strong as she always had been, appearances meant next to nothing after all.
Footsteps came down the stairs, almost too faint for even his wolf hearing to detect. His mate was just as much a predator as he was, used to stalking her prey silently and with deadly force, he was not surprised she was light on her feet. She slide into the kitchen, wafting her scent up to his awaiting nose, he breathed in deep, her sent of fresh air and grass was now mixed with his shampoo and body wash, his distinct spicy sent now part of her own.
Hitting start on the microwave he motioned for her to sit where he had just been. She did so with no complaints, once again wrapped up in his clothing, now a large dark green hoodie and black basketball shorts, her little feet enveloped in his large woollen socks.
“I’ll get Matt’s mate Margot to come over tomorrow with some clothes for you. It’ll have to do until we can get you some of your own.”
“Why can’t I wear yours?” She asked.
James hid his smile but inside he felt like he was glowing, he loved seeing her wrapped up in his clothes, and he loved that she liked it too.
“If that’s what you want that’s fine too. We’ll still have to get you some of your own stuff though, can’t have you walking around in my things all the time.” He teased at the end. He watched in amazement as a faint tinge of colour appeared in her pale cheeks, his little mate was actually blushing. It was one of the most endearing and cute sights James had ever seen, his mate was absolutely precious, there was no way for anyone to possibly dislike any part of her. She was perfect, or at least she would be once he got some food into her.
“Here you go, I made pasta with red sauce, it’s not very original or creative I know, but I’ve never been very adept in the kitchen. I’m going to learn though, soon I’ll be able to make you some super good stuff.” His heart sunk when he saw the small frown come to her face, “If you don’t like that you don’t have to eat it. I can make something else. God, I’m such an idiot, I should’ve known pasta was a bad idea. No one likes pasta.”
She looked in awe at his flustered state,
“I have never had pasta, it smells good.”
Immediately his heart rate began to return to normal,
“What’s wrong then?”
Soren, looked back down at her plate,
“Did you not like the rabbits? And where are the grubs?”
“Of course, I loved the rabbits, I’m sorry I didn’t make them tonight I’m just not sure how to prepare that sort of thing, we can eat it tomorrow though for sure, I promise. What do you mean grubs though, why would I put grubs in the pasta?” Now he was confused.
“You said you were making grubs.”
“Oh, ohhhhh. No Ren, I said I was making grub, not grubs, it’s a human term for food.” He had forgotten that his mate had only interacted with people until the age of twelve, there was sure to be lots she didn’t understand about her own culture, let alone werewolf culture. She was going to have a lot of new things to discover living with him.
Finishing their meals, James went upstairs and grabbed a hairbrush from the bathroom. When he came back down Soren had moved from the kitchen out to the small living room, sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the flames lick their way up the stone, eating at the logs within.
“Do you mind?” He held up the brush to her, motioning that he was going to run it through her hair. She shrugged and he took that as an okay to start.
Sitting behind her he began to slowly and gently run the brush through the tangles, taking his time to undo each one without tugging or pulling at her scalp. Soren found it immensely relaxing to sit and watch the fire whilst James ran the brush through her hair and she imagined that’s what his wolf must have felt when she ran her fingers through his fur.
Once James was done, she took the liberty of pushing herself back and into his chest, letting him wrap his strong arms around her. Feeling safe and at peace on the floor and in his arms, she let her eyes close, inhaling his scent as she allowed sleep to take her, knowing that the gentle giant behind her would do nothing that would cause her harm and would protect her with his life.