Chapter 59: Chapter 59

I didn't go to his bar that night but instead went directly to his room. I don't want to be wounded by his every cry, even if I shouldn't. I should be the one sobbing, and he should be the one feeling sorry for it, but someone is pressing me and saying — right, and he should feel sorry for it. I wish to address numerous questions, such as why are you devastated when I should be? There are many questions, but it appears to be taking me on a stroll through the jungle with many various sorts of critters.

When I fell asleep in his warm and comfy bed, I didn't look at the clock; all I knew was that his arms were already wrapped around me, like if he didn't want to let me go even when the morning arrived. I just lie there, wrapped in a thick blanket, staring at his deep eyes, which still don't appear to have slept until now.

When he opened his eyes, little drops of tears fell on the side of his eye. It wasn't too early, maybe four o'clock in the morning, and he appeared to have just stopped drinking booze. I arrived at midday and did nothing except wait for him to walk in. I haven't eaten yet, and even in the afternoon, he doesn't seem to have noticed me enter his room. He was still gone even at night, so I just went to bed.

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

We both greeted each other with a newly awake voice. One of his eyes was still closed and I could still smell the wine on him. I couldn't react when he put a few strands of my hair behind my ear and his tears dripped again into his small eyes. I didn’t react and I just watched him. I attended to him with every stream of his tears.

"I hope this isn't a dream." "I'm hoping that when I open my eyes again tomorrow, you'll be right there in front of me," he grumbled. As I held him, I placed my face into his chest. I, too, hope you're not to blame for my parents' deaths since it's as if you dug a hole for me and buried me alive...

Because we both know that I am the most frightened of walking alone between the two of us.

“Shhh. Let's sleep.” I pat his back as we hug. I accompanied him as he cried.

The man I'm trying to attract back then is crying out for me. He's sobbing because of my rapid divergence, much as I did when he abruptly departed Zhejiang province. I'd want to call fate into doubt. I'm curious which is more painful. Knowing that the person you love loathes you, or experiences that you love each other but know you can't due to the history that engulfs the two of you.

I woke up early to prepare supper for him. I'm also starving because I haven't eaten anything yet. Because his body had not yet been washed, I got out of bed first. When my feet touched the icy floor, something tugged into my guts, and I dashed to the bathroom.

"BLARRGGHHH!" I cried as I sat on the mat, hugging the toilet. I wanted to puke and vomit, but all that came out was heated saliva. I haven't eaten yet, therefore the vomit won't come out of my mouth. I became dizzy as well. I was about to stand up when I vomited again.

I heard a crash from the room but even though I wanted to look back at it, my strength was exhausted with nausea. I put my face on the toilet. Adonis is decent and clean in the house and he does not let his house get dirty.

While my cheek was still lying on the toilet's edge, I could feel a gentle caress on my back. Because of this, I felt even more at ease as he swept me up like a bride and lay me down on the bed. When I touched the nice bed, I felt better.

He did not speak as I closed my eyes. I'm not sleepy, I just lost my strength so it's like my eyes are being pulled. He didn’t move and just continued to put the blanket on me. I couldn't hear anything and thought as if he had almost stopped his breathing. When he turned to go out I raised my hand given the fact that I was fainting—just to prevent him from leaving. I held him by the arm and asked.

"Where are you going?" Almost air came out of my voice because I had no source of energy to regain the stamina I had exhausted earlier when I was vomiting.

He looked down at my hand that was holding him, but I didn't pull it away, instead of letting him ponder why I was suddenly so nice to him. When he saw that I had no intention of removing it and that I wasn't merely astonished, he touched me and already answered my inquiry.

"I will serve you food. You haven't eaten since they brought you to me. Before anything bad occurs to you." His voice was sweet when he said it to me, but there was no joy or grin on his face. His melancholy eyes were overshadowed by his eyebags.

When I let go of his hand, he acted like a teenager avoiding me. What caused this to happen? It seems like just yesterday that I was the one who felt the same way he did; why does it suddenly appear that he simply does not want to communicate to me?

As the door closed, I gazed up at the ceiling. He used to ask whether it was okay with me if he left me. He now cares; the only difficulty is that he can't express himself adequately due to his avoidance. I was stuck on my brow, wondering why I would bother with all of this if I was going to do the thing we had planned with Cole in the end—the case is I will betray him . I don't want to feel sorry for him since he doesn't deserve it, but how can I if every time his eyes meet mine, it's as if he's pleading for help?

What should I do?