Chapter 44: Chapter 44

“What do you mean?” He just kept going and still tried to keep his eyes away from me.

I was speechless. I feel it would be better not to force someone who has no plan to tell me the truth. Furthermore, I had already given him a chance to tell me what he is hiding, it was up to him whether he would answer that.

When we got to the bedroom, that seemed strange to me. The silence that embraced us was strange. It feels heavy and cold. If you open and close the door, it will feel colder, especially because it is covered in the sea. The sea has fit for this scene.

I went straight to bed and lay down. I yawned and covered myself with the thick comforter. I buried my face in the pillow, so I couldn’t see him. I could feel him sitting on the bed, but I tightened my grip. Even though it's okay with me that he doesn't answer, it's like someone is still saying inside me that I don't want to settle for that. It was as if someone was whispering inside me that I deserve more.

“Do not be mad.” The tenderness of his voice will carry you. It's as if this voice is singing to you so much that you can be carried away but even so, I keep myself from facing him.

I ask myself if that’s all I’m worth? To grope in the dark. I tried to enter, find out and study his word, but why is it so complicated for someone like me who knows nothing to do but love? What if I lost my contribution to him again? Will I come back to everything that I will settle for less? That is the problem with Adonis. He knows how to pick me up. He knew with a kiss and a hug, I was okay again because it was him. He is Adonis, and Luna Everdeen is weak to him.

“I want to end between Cole and me. I don't want revenge anymore.” I have already confronted him. Told the truth. From the moment I noticed that what he was feeling for me seemed to come real that was what I wanted to do. I lost my main goal. It's like I'm just thinking of being happy. I prefer not to live in the shadow of anger. If I continue to submit to that aspect of life, how can I be happy? When Cole’s company collapses and will I be fine? Will I get the satisfaction?

“I'll give him the flash drive that will resolve the issue about the virus you made.” That was the last thing I wanted to do. Then I didn’t want to involve myself with Cole again.

He did not say a word. I can’t look him in the eyes now because I feel like I’ve done something wrong. All his help went to nothing. All his tiredness and plans, all his sleeplessness and enduring, I just threw away like bubbles.

“Are you confident?” When he said that, I looked up at him. I didn't expect him to say that because I thought more that he would get angry and criticize me for what he helped.

I nodded because I was happy that he agreed. I'm getting tired too. Every day is like that is our routine, it seems like Cole is the reason my world revolves. Every day, nothing else enters my brain but revenge. Revenge. Revenge. Why don’t I just let him and black karma retaliate against him?

“What if that decision makes you suffer more?” His eyes went blank. I don't understand him every time he did that. Every time he looked at me with blank eyes, I felt like I was floating and being taken to another dimension. I wanted to ask him what he meant, but fear still prevailed over me.

“What do you mean?” I haven't been restrained yet. It's better that maybe he clarifies what he wants to convey. I just look like a fool, as if I still have to guess what the meaning is despite his words. The pain goes down my throat.

“Nothing.” He messed up my hair and then kissed me. I don’t know what’s going on with him because he just suddenly came out.

We didn't have a problem, but I feel like I did something wrong. It was as if I had said something he didn’t like, so I followed him out. I don’t know where he’s going but hopefully, he’s just in the kitchen. But when I got, there is no trace of him. I even tried to walk to rotate the other part of the ship just in case I couldn't find him, so I decided to just go to the one who maneuvered the ship. I caught up with the man as if he was cleaning in front of the ones he was pressing. It's outstanding to think that someone like him is already a captain.

If maybe my life is still going well so far with my parents; I’m sure my life right now is a teenager still wandering around. Perhaps you could have met me at any bar. The life I used to oversee was very different from what I am doing now.

“Why did you come back here? Didn't Adonis take you out?” I looked and just watched him. Is Adonis his friend? Why does he call him casual? And one more thing, does he see any Adonis in my side? Sometimes people with superintelligence go blind.

“Well, I was looking for him; however, I couldn't find him.” I pout. It was as if I was trying to hide and seek from Adonis. Later he will come again. His sudden appearance is sometimes surprising.

“Find him upstairs where the bar counter is. He was there.” I still didn't look at the man as he said that.

“But he wasn't there.”

He says the bar with the kitchen, doesn't it?

He was about to answer, but I was surprised by the sudden closing of my eyes because someone cover them.