Chapter 60: Chapter 60

Athena’s P.O.V.

While Ricardo was driving, my father and I were in the backseat. We were not even talking, and it was a one-of-a-kind conversation that I truly enjoyed having with him. I opened the windows on my right side and savored the sunny breeze against my skin. It was the first wind I felt after getting my real identity again.

I closed my eyes while feeling everything. I breathed in and out warmly. This life was what I had always wanted right from the very beginning. It was the main reason why I even made a deal with my devil father to steal the valedictorian title away from Cristoff. But now? Why did everything feel so miserable? Why living again as Athena only added to my inner chaos?

We went to the cemetery. It was the Twin Lakes Cemetery, to be exact. The sun was still shining relentlessly, so I almost closed my eyes while getting out of the car. Ricardo assisted me and thanks to his concern of placing an umbrella above my head when I couldn’t even take care of myself. Then, we walked through the course of the mausoleum where Mom and Helena were resting.

If Helena and I were not twins, I could even think that Ricardo was my father and how I wished that he should have really been. Paula and Ricardo were taking care of me in their own ways—too far from Daddy’s definition of the word ‘care.’ He was pure evil, and his perception was damn too complex!

Ricardo remained outside the mausoleum while I stepped inside with Daddy. I then realized that the last time I was able to visit Mom and Helena was last year, so I immediately knelt in front of the altar and uttered a silent apology to them. I knew that even though I was yet to ask for forgiveness, they had already forgiven me.

Our family mausoleum was newly renovated, and the style was even an eye for a tourist. One could wander around and take some photo ops as it even had a second-floor level. As I stood up and strode closer to my loved ones’ in-ground burial sites, now designed as two adjacent glamorous beds, I covered my mouth when I saw that it was already Helena’s name written on her grave:

Helena Mari LeBeau Delgado

Born: November 12, 1992

Died: April 18, 2009

We hadn’t even reached the month of April since it was only January 2009 as of the moment, but I understood if Daddy decided to change Helena’s death anniversary. He might be insane and not a good father figure towards me, but for Helena? He would do anything. Everything. Even raising the hell here.

My chest ached, and I started crying when Daddy said, “I intended to change the year from 2007 to 2009 because she still lives in you for two more years. That was the main reason why I wanted you to become the class valedictorian because I know that it’s what Helena would achieve if she’s still here living with us. I’ll leave you for now.”

Daddy cried before he left me alone inside the mausoleum. He never wanted me to see him vulnerable, and for the first time, he patted my shoulder. His words made me reminisce about my twin sister and our funny moments together. Those were irreplaceable but were only left now in my recollection.

I missed Mom and Helena so much that there were times I wanted to follow them. But they would never have wanted me to be there because they knew I still have a bright future ahead of me here. Well, it could have been even more brilliant if I wasn’t living with Daddy.

If only Helena could come back as a ghost, I would let her use my body to fulfill her dreams. “Hi, sis! How are you? How’s Mom up there?” I started my conversation with her.

While pressing my lips together, I slowly knelt in front of her grave. My trembling fingers began to run on top of it. Despite the railings, Daddy made sure that everything was properly maintained. Actually, I didn’t even expect that Daddy would remove my name here. It was a nightmare that suddenly transitioned into a dream.

It was truly unexpected, and I wondered if a ghost had recently possessed him. I was happy with what he did, but thinking about what he could mercilessly do to Cristoff made me gloomy. How I wished that I never came from a rich family so I could love freely. Without any rules and responsibilities.

After that, I continued talking to Helena as if she was just right in front of me and smiling at me like the old times. Especially when we were chasing each other in our garden area—even rolling on the Bermuda grass.

“Helena… thank you! Did you perhaps ask God to enlighten Daddy’s mind so that he could give me back my real identity? Maybe, you and Mom were watching me, and you could probably see how I was having a hard time pretending. Well, you know that I wouldn’t be as smart as you, but you know what, Helena? My real name is not important to me anymore,” I stopped crying, but my tears were threatening to stream down again.

“Do you want to know a secret? Well, I guessed it would not be a secret anymore because you are always clever in finding out the truth. But here it is, sis. I fell in love with a handsome and dependable guy. His name was David, and I am the only one who has the right to call him by his second name, which is Cristoff. You couldn’t even have known that your snobby and peevish twin sister here could learn how to love, right?” I wryly smiled.

“Cupid withdraws the arrow from his quiver, pulls the love-poisoned arrow on his bow’s string, and boom! I helplessly fell in love with Cristoff. But I guess love will always be like that, Helena. It was something unusual. It could make you feel strong, but it would soon make you weak? At the same time, it could make you do things you had never done before. If you are continuously watching me, I don’t have to explain that he is such a good young man—always and beyond. You could see it yourself, sis. But you know what hurts me? It was suffocating me when he’s not even doing anything wrong, but I have to hurt him.”

My tears never stopped rolling down my cheeks. The fluid unceasingly streamed down my chin. It almost covered my neck, and it even dampened my white uniform’s collar. I couldn’t stop my chest from going up and down.

The same tears blurred my vision, and everything else became a distorted view. The surroundings became bleak, and I couldn’t see clearly anymore. Now I realized why I wasn’t able to love before. When I loved, it was too strong—too strong that it ultimately drowned every part of me into sorrow.

“He also fell in love with me, but of course, he fell for your name. And not even once did I hear him call me Athena, but it was okay. If you’re here, I’m sure that you will like him for me. He’s the only one I wanted now, sis… and you know how possessive I am. I don’t want anything else aside from him.” I sniffled after I spoke. I pulled out some tissues from my bag and blew my nose.

This excruciating agony was making me hard to breathe. I continued to shed more painful tears while speaking in front of my sister’s grave. I was hoping that I could gather additional strength in our spiritual talk. It felt like I would soon explode. Every second was a new wound—a new scar to add to my collection.

“Helena, aren’t you close to God? Maybe, maybe, it isn’t too much for you to ask Him and make Him change Daddy’s mind for us to stop migrating to Germany? You can do me that favor, right? I—I don’t want to leave Cristoff here! I don’t want to break up with him! He’s the only reason why I am still coping up after your death and my identity change. He’s the only reason why I got inspired with everything.” With my shoulders shrugging, I bowed my head while sobbing.

“But if I would be selfish and if I wouldn’t break up with him, Daddy would just ruin his life, his future, and even his entire family. You knew him, right? It was only you who could make him a better person, but you definitely knew that he could destroy everything—even me. You knew how he could make people miserable in his palms! You knew how he could make the world revolve in his hands!”

“So… even if it hurts, I had to do something that I knew would kill me, but could continue Cristoff’s quiet life before he met me… before he made the mistake of loving me.” I had to do what was the right thing. Cristoff had to forget about me because all that we had was worthless.

I ended up sitting on the floor, still bowing my head sternly. I couldn’t stop crying, and that eventually made the tiled floor soak in my tears.

[End of Flashback]