Chapter 58: Chapter 58
Athena’s P.O.V.
[Start of Flashback]
Only God knew how much I wanted to hug him, but I stopped myself from doing so. However, the pain was doing great at squeezing my heart out—it was unbearable.
“Please, Cristoff… please. If you really love me, you will respect my decision. Let’s talk about us later, okay? Not now, and not here…” I almost whispered, attempting to convince him.
While fear was creeping me up, I nervously looked around. I tried to keenly perceive even the most unsuspicious area that could not avoid my eyes. And there it was, I saw my father’s spy.
It was none other than Mrs. Gutierrez, our Physics teacher. She was certainly looking at us at the end of the corridor, down the stairs, silently observing what would be my next move. Now that Cristoff was in front of me again, I was sure as hell that she would report this scene to Daddy.
Her eyes were threatening me to dump Cristoff. She even raised her left eyebrow and glared at me as if telling me that today wouldn’t end without her informing my father about this uproar.
It was the main reason why I was paired up with Brent on our Physics project. It was all planned and scripted. Brent might think I didn’t know anything about it since no one here knew about his secret, but my father already told me that his mother was, in fact—Mrs. Gutierrez. She only remarried after divorcing Brent’s American father, and everything else was twisted.
Although offended, I wasn’t even surprised to know that it was actually Brent who followed Cristoff and me at the Enchanted Realm two months ago. He was the one who secretly photographed us, and that night, the same bastard was even the one who broke Cristoff’s motorbike.
I wondered how much money did they accept from my father to follow his evil deeds? The thought made me close my eyes and fists.
If Cristoff only knew what I truly felt for now. I wanted to feel his every touch and spoil the moment to cuddle him back. But I couldn’t. I was too coward. This time wasn’t for us, and fate wouldn’t make it easy for us.
Pushing him with all my strength was against my will. It was killing me. But what could I do? People were already passing by the corridor. Daddy would eventually know about this, so I tried my best to get my arms away from Cristoff, but he was also stubborn to let me go.
I got even more scared when Mrs. Gutierrez brought out her cellular phone and began typing on it as if she would really contact my father. I wasn’t worried about myself, but I had to protect Cristoff. I didn’t want him to suffer.
“But what’s the real definition of your ‘later,’ Helena? Next week? Next month? When else can we talk, huh? When we both graduated from high school, months from now? When we were already separated in college because we have different courses to take up? I don’t want to wait for that ‘later’ when we can talk about us right now!”
The moment I successfully removed his hands off me was when I saw how Cristoff’s tears streamed down his cheeks. It was one after the other, and I hated myself more that I couldn’t do anything about it. I pitied him, and my heart was aching for us. I couldn’t make it stop because if I tried to, he would only get the wrong idea. I had to follow what was on the plan because his future now depends on my hands.
I planned to break up with him today, but seeing him in this weak state? I couldn’t handle it either. I loved him so much that it was shattering me apart. Falling for him was so hard, I couldn’t even take myself out.
“Helena, I don’t care anymore if I will never get the valedictorian award. It’s all yours. Just don’t avoid me like I have a contagious disease. Don’t give me that cold treatment of yours either. I can afford to lose everything, Helena… but I can’t live without you.” Cristoff was begging for me. I couldn’t even breathe.
So, Daddy really pursued his plans on getting the valedictorian award, huh? How could he? He was too wicked! Doesn’t he really have any conscience?
I dismissed my thoughts when Cristoff suddenly knelt in front of me while tearfully kissing both of my knuckles. I got surprised, and at the same time, my heart suddenly dropped at what he was doing. I didn’t want him to be this low and desperate. It was distressing me.
No, Cristoff! Don’t do this… I don’t deserve this. I wanted to scream to make him realize some sense.
Hurt was overpowering me that I could no longer help myself but burst out my feelings. I began sobbing, and I didn’t care anymore if many students were already strolling here—watching the two of us pulling this kind of act. I withdrew my hands from him and placed them on his shoulders instead, gently assisting him to stand up.
“Please, Cristoff. Fix yourself, please. I hate to see you like this, but you’re only putting us in an awkward situation I would never want us to be in. We will talk at our J.S. prom next month, I promise! Just give me time,” I voiced out. I successfully removed his grip that already reached my thighs.
Loving Cristoff was like pulling him with one hand and yet, pushing him away with the other. But little did he know that I definitely loved the feeling, knowing that he didn’t want to let me go either.
Those were the last words I uttered to him—the same words that were making me feel sad. After that, I picked up my belongings while crying and left him without looking back.
I couldn’t even look at him in that condition, not to mention the fact that I was the one causing him so much pain. While holding my chest, I realized how I loved him so much, but this love wasn’t worthy. This love would only hurt both of us if I wouldn’t run away from him. Breaking this love would be much better in order to save him.
Did people know? It is not easy to take a step forward when you don’t even know where your foot will fall.
The pain was crushing me, and while sobbing my heart out, I went straight to the comfort room. I even locked myself inside one of the cubicles there, and I didn’t care anymore if someone would be disturbed by my loud sobs.
The word ‘hurt’ holds a lot more meaning than its usual definitions. I loved Cristoff, but at the same time, I was afraid to. My emotions had dialed up way too far, and I was having a hard time turning them down. It left me incapable of anything—making me extremely broken inside and out.
Why does everything have to be complicated? We love each other so much, but why can’t we be happy? Isn’t it that love conquers all? But why do we need to get hurt?
We were proud that we were able to experience the right love, but we were deeply hurt because of the fact that we had found it at the wrong time. Yes, we were still young… but was that reason enough for us to get hurt?
After pulling out some tissues, I wiped my face and threw those soft tissues in a garbage bin. My insides were all in chaos, just like those trashes. Something was unstoppably aching me. Something felt so wrong that I couldn’t even think straight. I was in a complete mess, but I had no power to change our fate!
I thought I wouldn’t let myself get imprisoned by this stupid thing called love. But I was wrong because it was all just a thought. Love itself was already stupid, but surely, you could be more than stupid once you had fallen in love. I guessed everything had its own consequences. Ours was only fatal!
When I fixed myself, I stayed in the comfort room for a few minutes. I waited for the redness of my eyes to finally subside before I went to the faculty room and talked to Mrs. Cheng. She then told me that I would be this year’s class valedictorian, and Cristoff only landed at a second higher place. I could feel that her congratulatory message was not even real.
How could that even happen? Even if I turned the world upside down, I was certain that I could never beat Cristoff’s brain!
What was even funnier was the fact that my twin sister’s capabilities were no match for him! Cristoff could indeed screw Helena up when it came to academics. I narrowed my eyes while sneering.
There must be some dirty business happening here, and the promoter? I was one-hundred-percent sure that it was none other than my clever father.