Chapter 1107: Chapter 1107

That was the last thing Alix had expected to hear. She had assumed some different complaints coming from him, not about Lin.

"Why are you thinking about Lin?" She was confused.

"I don’t know..." he made small circles on the back of her hand. "When I looked at the o-other couple, I felt they know each other so well because they have known each for a long time..." he let out a small hiccup, "But I don’t know anything about youuuu...I didn’t know your mother’s death anniversary but he did. He knew what you liked to eat that day but I didn’t...He knows all your likes and dislikes...I don’t..."

She rubbed her chin. "Isn’t that also applicable for you? I mean Shui also knows about you more than me."

"But I feel jealoushh seeing that somebody else knows you more than me," his face dropped and then he looked at her. "Do you also feel jealoush of Shui?"

"I don’t think I feel jealous of her because I’m not in a hurry to know about you. I mean we have our whole life to get to know each other. Why do you feel like you have to hurry?"

"Be-because...I get scared," he hiccuped and snuggled closer to her.

"Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t forced you into this contract marriage, then...then...would you have eventually fallen for him? Would you have eventually opened your heart for him? I-I was very scared in those four months you didn’t talk to me...I thought if I wait anymore then I would risk losing you to him..." he trembled, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"What if you had gotten closer to him at that time? I k-kept worrying...and worrying...and worrying. So when I saw you in a pinch with your family businessh, I shamelessly took advantage of it...I know I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have forced you to meet me in jail. I shouldn’t have put forth the contract before you...But I couldn’t think of anything else. And now...I don’t know where the boundary lies anymore..."

He placed his hand on top of hers, intertwining his fingers with hers in a drunken stupor.

"You know Alix..." he held a silly smile on his lips. "I really wanted to hold your hand the other day we were walking outside the bookstore...I wanted to hold your hand and walk with you. I wanted to take lots of pictures with you...*hiccup*"

Alix stared. "Why didn’t you?"

"I couldn’t get the courage to do it. I f-feel that I’m happy enough to have you as my wife," a tear plopped on her hand, "But sometimes...just sometimes..."

He pinched his index finger and thumb together as if making his point that it was really only ’sometimes.’

"I feel I want to to-touch you a bit more..." his expression dropped. "But then I back away because I have already forced you enough as is...Accepting me. Accepting my family. For my own selfish love, I put you in a tough spot d-despite me being unable to do the same thing with Shui..." he chuckled self-deprecatingly.

"So when you asked about ’that’ the other day..."

He took a longer pause this time.

"About us having sex...I wondered if...you asked that simply because we are married? Were you feeling pressured because of my love? I didn’t want that...I want you because I love you sooooooooooo very much!

But...do you want me the same way? I don’t know...I don’t know what you feel about me. So I don’t know if you will...run away if I come close to you. I don’t want you to leave me...I don’t want you to go to Hou Lin’s side..." his voice said with a quivering whisper.

Jin buried his head in her neck and wrapped her closer to him with his slightly trembling arms.

Alix pressed her lips and they stayed in silence for a while. She then asked, "Just a moment."

He gasped, tears pooling in his eyes. "Y-You want to leave me?"

"No, I’m not going anywhere."

With a heavy heart, he let her go. She brought something out of her bag and returned when he quickly pulled her back in his embrace, hugging her back.

Jin questioningly looked at the piece of cloth in her hand. "Hehe, it’s the beautiful scarf you embroidered with a wolf..."

"Actually it’s the other one."

She carefully unfolded it and revealed a different animal’s embroidery at the bottom.

"It’s a rabbit!" He chirped. "It’s just like the wolf you made."

He pouted. "But you said that the scarf was not good."

Alix slightly shifted uncomfortably. "I wanted to give this to you."

As the words fell on his ears, sparkles filled his eyes. "R-Really?"

"But I accidentally took the wolf one and you thought I made it for myself," she then looked away, "I...had made...one for you too..."

Jin took the scarf in his hands and grinned like he was the happiest man in the world. "It’s beautiful! You are shoooo talented hehe. But why did you not give it to me?" He drunkenly pouted again.

He gasped. "You thought I would not take good care of it? I would have! It’s like couple’s scarves!" He brightened.

"T-That’s...! Exactly why I didn’t give you. I didn’t want you to know that I had created a wolf one for myself too."

His head tilted to the side, puzzled. "Whyyy?"

"I...just wanted to make a rabbit one for you, that’s it."

She didn’t know how to express herself and a look of frustration passed over her.

"I’m not really a romantic person. I cannot...say things like ’I love you’ or ’I cannot live without you’ like you do. I haven’t...really seen my world in that way. Until you confessed to me, I never really gave any thought to love or if I would spend my life with someone. Even as Alix, I assumed I would just live and die alone. I had no intention of accepting Lin’s feelings either."

Her gaze looked complicated, "It’s...not like I feel nothing for you. You are a good man and I trust you. I do think about you - a lot more than I would admit. I just...cannot find the words to say to you, so I try other ways...to express it like the scarf or that you can touch me."

She then smiled wryly. "But guess it backfired..." Tʜe sourcᴇ of thɪs content ɪs noveⅼfire.net