Chapter 60: Chapter 60

He doesn't understand!

He doesn't get it at all!

My thoughts about marriage had changed. If I used to think of a beautiful wedding like in the world of fairy tale, now I wasn't thinking the same anymore. I became to think differently. I was terrified just thinking about marriage.

Especially after clearly knowing the details of what happened in past. My own parents' marriage did not go smoothly.

It was so toxic and full of cruel twists. Rose Ozza, my mother, or Yolanda may be strong in facing their ordeal, but it was different for me. I got fragile easily and now I scared so much.

I was afraid that Barra would leave me for a better and worthy one. I got so fed up just thinking about other women had the edge over me.

I'm a woman and of course, wanting the same thing all women wants, to get married.

A sacred event that I wanted to happen once in my life and with the right man as my life partner.

I knew that Barra was the perfect man as my companion until we age. But, I was still shrouded in excessive fear.

Since my death, my relationship with him was the first. He was my first boyfriend. I had never had a boyfriend before, especially in the orphanage, it was forbidden to date.

I could see my future with him, but I still wanted to explore.

I wanted to feel how it would be in a relationship. I also wanted to know how it felt to be treated like a queen in his heart.

I was so selfish, but that was the way I wanted it to be.

I took his hand off from me then headed for my room. Not to his room, as we planned to stay in the same room.

"Principessa!" His voice was still muffled, as if the sound couldn't come out of his throat because there was a fishbone stuck in it.

"Forget it." I parried his hand when he got closer.

"No, we have to talk about this now."

I completely ignoring him as I kept walking with him following me, "Do you forget your promise to tell me everything you feel? Don't try to keep anything from me!" I started crying when his voice rising, "Tell me how you feel and don't just shut up!" His patience was up.

Suddenly, he pulled my arm. I turned around then bumped into his body. Finally, we were facing each other, so close.

I'd never had his eyes explain how he felt all this time, but now I could clearly see how those eyes showed me something.

He had run out of words explaining it to me, and preferred to show it directly through his gaze.

I could see in his eyes the love that radiated from his souls.

His eyes were the most expressive feature of all, and at the point I realized that he wouldn't do anything like my every bad guess.

And I knew he fell for me so deeply. It was clear what he felt from it. Those eyes filled with looks of fear of loss, sadness, rage of love, and even affection.

"Look, I'm sorry." He took a step back from me, "I shouldn't have force you." He looked into my eyes, "I will always wait for you until you're ready." His last words sounded soft and honest from within.

He had given all decisions in my hands. Then why do my thoughts change so fast? After our talk, everything went well. He never brought that topic to me again. Then why do I want it now?

And what made me more distempered was his usual behavior like that never happened.

We still spent our time together and exploring this relationship, but here I got easily irritated by his every moves, just because I wanted him to discuss marriage matters again.

Then why is he just mum? I wanted him to ask me, even begging on my knees to be his wife.

"Aaaah."

"This is the second time you've cut your finger. Man, are you trying to hurt yourself?" He held my hand.

He was so cute, how come? He was helping me cook all day. It was because all the maids were given the compensation off.

I just looked at him. He blew on the wound on my finger and then pulled me closer to the sink. He gently stroked my finger with great care. Weirdly, I did not feel the pain in my wounds, but my heartbeat seemed to go out from my chest.

He attached importance to my wound, so that his eyes never met mine. I just followed his directions, and let him treat my wounds.

After all was done, he finally invited me to rest and sit down in the living room.

"Take a rest here, I'll finish our cooking." I didn't think he could cook, but it turned out he could do more better than me.

"Hello?" He waved his hands in front of me after finding myself dumbfounded.

"No, you have to accompany me here."

He shook his head, "But what about our cooking?"

"Forget about that. We can order food." I answered with annoyance. What's wrong with him? Doesn't he want to spend time with me?

He seemed to think for a while then nodded. He put back the first aid medicine, then returned to sit next to me.

Instead of opening the conversation to each other, we were mutually silent. God, I was getting emotional with his behavior.

I looked at him, but he did not even look at me. He looked so... nervous.

I'd made up my mind. I already agreed with his wish to marry, then why doesn't he take this opportunity to ask me again?

"I have something to say."

"I need to tell you something." He fell silent after releasing those words.

What does he want to say? Why is the atmosphere tense now?

"Ladies first." He smirked looking at my 'are you kidding me?' expression.

"Alright." I wasted no time, "It's about us actually."

"Well, I have the same thing to say." He turned his body towards me.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah." He looked at me and sighed, "I know you don't want to rush the matter of marriage-"

"WHO SAYS? I WANT TO."

He almost jumped because of my death screams. I didn't even expect my answer to be that lightning fast.

I cleared my throat, trying to act elegant, "Sorry, so I mean, I want to..." I grinned, "Get married."

Maybe he thought I was just kidding, because just a few days ago I went crazy over that thing and now he found me said differently.

I was excitedly looking at him, but he froze and looked at me instead. What does he have in mind?

I was waiting for his reaction. My eyebrows lifted, really waiting for what he would say. Instead, he reached into his shirt pocket and then his pants pocket, looking for something.

"What's wrong?"

His face turned pale and tense. He then got up and stood up, running away from me.

Did he just reject me? Is it because I acted so much that he now doesn't want to marry me? Or has he changed his mind?

I felt my eyes began to watery. Since when did I become a crybaby? I stood up from where I was and accidentally touched the wound on my finger.

"Dammit." Why is the wound so sore now?

I just wanted to get to my room, lock it, then cry all day in it.

I stepped as quickly as possible to my room. My hand wiped my eyes so as not to cry before I got there. But still, along the hallway I started crying. My chest was heavy with choking tears.

My sight began to blur. Do I see wrong? Because in front of me Elsa stood with Ronald next to her. In their hands was a board with a writing.

Aren't they on vacation?

I rubbed my eyes, and they were still there. Gosh, I was not hallucinating.

The closer I got to them, the clearer the writing on the board became.

It said, "Go to the backyard now."

I was stunned then looked at them. They smiled, and I began to realize that their clothes were so neat and formal.

"What's this all about?" I didn't understand what they did with that writing.

They were silent and still smiling. I was forced to follow the direction of the board.

My suspicions increased as my steps got closer to the backyard. Suddenly this lonely mansion let out laughter sounds from there. Honestly, I got a little scared that what I heard was from the ghosts.

Who knows if the ghosts is wandering around?

But, I kept walking closer.

My breath broke from my cavity when I saw the backyard was already crowded with people. I hadn't been to the backyard for a long time, so I didn't know when all the beautiful decorations were there.

All of them had gathered. Rose Ozza, Moorah, Alia, even Haytham and other people I didn't know who.

For a moment Yolanda's gaze turned towards me, then she told everyone. And these were the times when I just wanted to hide under my bed. Their gaze fixed on me.

From behind someone patted me, Elsa and Ronald.

They invited me to join immediately, but for a moment they split the crowd, Barra was standing there in his black suits. His eyes never escaped me. I felt like flinched and realized what was really going on.

I could not hold back my tears as he finally proposed me on one knee.