Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Half a year after his break up with Hannah, he got together with Lucy.

Lucy was a bit different compared to Hannah. She was sweet and steady whereas Hannah was more bold and daring. Both of them are outgoing and has always been kind to me.

After his break up with Hannah, something shifted within Alex. He changed in a way that I can't begin to describe. I can't put my finger on it but I guess it was normal for someone whose first love came to an end in such a brief and abrupt way.

One of the things that changed since his break up with Hannah is how we've started to talk in person. He had to explain to Hannah who he was talking to so much on the phone and why he was so close to me to avoid misunderstandings. I guess people started finding out from that point onwards.

Alex and I were able to communicate more face-to-face than we previously have and we only use our made up sign languages when we're out of earshot to avoid shouting.

I can't say that there hasn't been misunderstandings, assumptions made by people who didn't know better about our friendship and saw how we interacted with each other. I would ask him for money when I forgot to bring any and he'd simply toss me his wallet.

We'd tease each other more openly rather than through texts and I guess that have also been adding fuel to the fire.

So I wasn't exactly shocked to hear about the rumors that has been circulating around us. They were the exact same thing Beth suspected when she first noticed how close Alex and I were.

When he got together with Lucy, I made sure to keep my distance respectfully even though Lucy didn't seem to mind our friendship. I didn't want to give anyone reason to gossip about us.

Still, he was my best friend, possibly the closest person to me. Someone who knows me best and I him.

"Wonder what you're smiling at?" I teased from across the basketball court as I watched him raise his head to look at me.

Alex was sitting on the spectator's bench, typing away on his phone with the goofiest smile on his face. Anyone could probably make out that he was in love.

"I don't know what you're talking about," He denied despite his embarrassed laugh.

"Right.." I played along, giving him a knowing look.

Alex laughed, shaking his head. "How'd you know who I was texting?"

I snorted, "Like your huge ass grin wasn't a dead giveaway? I have eyes too, you know."

"Alright, alright, Ms. Sassy." He surrendered, going back to typing on his phone.

You'd think that judging from his smile, he was drunk in love. So you could probably imagine the shock expressed on my face a week later when he broke the news to me that he was planning to break up with Lucy.

We were sitting around in the waiting lounge, waiting for our turn to get on stage and perform our Chinese New Year dance.

I caught Alex's eyes from where I sat in the back of the room. My eyebrows shot upwards when I saw him motioning for me to come to him.

"What?" I mouthed, already getting up from the floor to walk towards him.

I sat down next to him and he signaled for me to lean closer.

"I'm planning to break up with Lucy." He whispered.

My head reeled back so quick that I could feel a muscle in my neck getting strained.

"What?" I accidentally sputtered loudly.

Alex quickly shushed me. "You're the first to know, I haven't told anyone else."

I looked at him with a bewildered look. "What? Okay.."

"Do you think I'm being reckless? Do you think I'll regret this decision?" He asked me unsurely.

I shook my head to get rid of the shock that's clouding my judgment.

"Hold on, why are you going to do this again?"

Alex shrugged, "'Cause I'm bored? I don't know. It's just not fun anymore."

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

I was dumbfounded.

"Okay.." I managed to get out.

"So?" He looked at me expectantly. "What do you think?"

My mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish, not sure as to what to say.

"I don't know. I mean Lucy's a nice girl but if she's not the one then she's not the one?" I answered. I was so unsure of my own statement that it came out more as a question than anything else.

Alex looked like he was thinking it over, staring at the wall opposite of him.

I took the chance to analyze his side profile as I try to understand him. I wanted to see what was going on in his head so bad that I could've burnt a hole into the side of his head from my intense stare.

What's happening to Alex?

Was this really my best friend?

Is this what he has turned into after getting his heart broken by his first love?

I can't believe my own ears at first. His reason sounded so unreasonable to me. "Boring?" I thought silently.

Is that even possible when you're in love with someone?

I mean, I'd understand if they've been going on for several years, or several months even. But he just got together with Lucy last month.

But who am I to judge?

I've never gotten my heart broken before.

I didn't know how painful it is.

I don't know how I'd be when that time comes for me.

Maybe this is just how Alex is coping with his heart break.

Being hurt like that by someone you love would probably inflict some trust issues upon someone, right?

And so, that was how I tried to justify my best friend's change.

I tried my best to understand and justify his actions.

That was how I managed to say, "Whatever you choose to do, I'm still going to be your best friend and I'll always support your choices."

I believed, genuinely believed, that if I expressly showed my unconditional support and love for him as his best friend, that he'll never have to be lonely and bear anything on his own. I believed that he'll never feel the need to keep anything to himself; the need to hide anything from me.

I trusted that he wouldn't hide anything from me.

So when I discovered cigarette boxes in one of his friend's bag and asked him if he smoked too, I trusted his answer.

A: No.

K: Okay.

I had believed him without a speck of doubt.

Maybe that's why it had hurt so much when I found out that he lied.

"Dare to race?" André challenged.

"You're on," Alex smirked.

"I'm in!" I piped up, slapping the money on the counter to pay for a round.

It was just me and the boys today since no one else was interested in playing go kart.

"Dude, go easy on her, she's a girl, man." John said, slapping André on the back.

"Kate?" André scoffed. "She's basically a dude. Have you forgotten who her brother is? She's got his blood in her veins, man."

I smirked hearing what he said as my competitive side awakened. Damn right, boys.

I jogged to one of the cars and put my helmet on.

"Let's do this!" I hollered, hitting the steering wheel.

The boys hooted and the guys on the sidelines started making bets on the drivers.

I smirked as the adrenaline started entering my system.

When the race started, I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal and avoided the brakes like it was a contagious virus for the entire race.

As we reached the finish line by the 3rd round, André took off his helmet and threw me a look of disbelief.

"She's definitely her brother's sister, alright." He breathed out.

"Dude, you lost to a girl," John teased him, chuckling madly.

"Oh shut up, you lost to her too!" André snapped as he got off his car.

I got off my car and smiled triumphantly before walking towards the seats on the sidelines and taking a seat as the next group of drivers get on the cars.

I was too busy with watching the next race to notice that half of the guys disappeared until André sat down beside me, looking nervous.

"K, do me a favor and tell me if my breath smells like cigs." He blurted out before breathing out air from his mouth.

I frowned before taking a small whiff and shaking my head.

"Did you smoke?" I asked, looking around.

How did I not notice that he smoked?

My heart did a dive, plummeting into my guts, when I noticed that Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Who was with you?" I asked dreadfully.

André cursed, as if realizing that he had made a mistake.

"Shit, don't tell anyone, Kate. Promise me." He begged.

I nodded dismissively. Whatever, I don't care what these boys do, I'm not their mother. I just need to know one thing.

"Was Alex smoking with you?" I asked him.

I unconsciously held my breath as I stared at André, waiting for his answer.

When André nodded wordlessly, my heart seemed to grow even heavier.

No, I need to hear it from Alex himself. I should only trust his words.

I nodded to myself, murmuring a small thanks to André for telling me.

As I kept an eye out for Alex, I waited with a heart that felt like it weighed a hundred pounds in my chest.

When Alex finally made an appearance and plopped on the seat behind me, I stole a glimpse at him before trying to figure out how I should confront him.

The engine of the cars racing on the course drowned out any other noise so I decided against trying to have a conversation with him over the loud noise.

I took out my phone and signaled for him to open his too.

My eyes flew over my keyboard and I hit the send button without thinking too much, afraid that I'll overthink things and chicken out.

K: Did you just smoke?

The reply came a second later than I expected it to but it didn't fail to deliver its effect.

A: Yes.

Different emotions exploded within me all at once.

Anger.

Sadness.

Hurt.

The next few text messages between us were a blur. I don't remember typing the messages and I don't remember sending them.

But Alex's response was clear.

He was pissed.

K: Why didn't you tell me?

A: Why should I?

I could feel the crease that was growing between my brows as I reread the text.

Why should I? Is he being serious?

I turned around so quick in my seat to send him a disbelief look that my hair whipped against my face.

I turned back around and started typing vigorously.

K: I thought I was your best friend!

K: Would it have killed you to tell me?

A: What does me smoking have to do with you?

A: Who are you to get pissed over this?

A: It's none of your goddamn business.

I scoffed, not believing what I was reading.

"Seriously?" I whispered to myself.

"You know what, fine. do it your way, Alexander West. Fuck you." I cursed mentally at him, shutting off my phone and storming off to head home.

Smoking cigarettes.

Reading this, you might think that I was being ridiculous.

And maybe I was.

Alex was partially right. Him smoking has nothing to do with me.

I was in no position to be pissed at him. I wasn't his mom or anything.

I was just a friend.

But I can still the debate that went on in my head as I sat in the car during my ride home.

I laid down on the backseat of my car and faced the seat, giving my back to my driver, to hide my tears.

I bit my lip and clenched my fists tightly as I held in the sobs that threatened to shake my being.

I wasn't angry at him for smoking.

If I was, it was probably a small part of me that worried for his health.

But I was mad at him - no, I was livid - because he had lied to me.

I know that it might seem trivial.

So he actually smokes.

Big deal.

That's probably how I should've responded to the revelation.

But I can't. For some reason, I felt unbelievably hurt that he had lied.

I felt betrayed.

I trusted him to the end.

Even when André told me that he was smoking with Alex only minutes before, I didn't want to believe him because that would mean Alex has been lying to me every time I had asked him if he smoked.

I didn't even know when he started lying.

I don't know if I wanted to know.

You could say that that was when things went downhill for our friendship.

Trust is such a frail thing.

Once broken, the cracks will still be visible despite your attempt to glue it back together.