Chapter 24: Chapter 24

I sip my red wine again, still enjoying the buzz that comes with the berry aftertaste.

And also to avoid Ethan's question because he is right...again.

I am bad at this game

"It's one of your romance dreams and you haven't done it?" He had asked and I'd grabbed the glass and clung the rim to my lips.

"You can drink all the wine you want, baby. I'm right here waiting for the answer." He says and signals to the waiter. The man comes over, his gaze lingering too long on me uncomfortably and I try to focus at Ethan who has his eyes on me.

"Another bottle, please." He says and I roll my eyes at him as I drop the glass.

"You're being ridiculous. This wine is expensive."

He just shrugs, still looking at me.

"You like it, and you picked this place. Its the least I'm doing to make you enjoy it."

I don't hide the blush that creeps up my cheeks as I smile shyly and look away from his eyes, down at my pasta with fried oysters and shrimp combo.

Thanksgiving had happened in a blurr after I went home with Ginger and more than anything, I just wanted to come back and see him.

Yes.

Ethan Griphen.

I ached to lie down next to him again, to watch him laugh when Trevor said something stupid, to feel his hands run through my hair and to fall asleep listening to his snoring.

And then the first date had happened. He had brought three cards and told me to pick one after he had blindfolded me.

And the first one was at the Italian restaurant. I bite back a smile as I recall how he had ordered for water for himself because he didn't do good with spicy food.

Then the second card I picked was at the French restaurant Magnifiquè where he'd let me chose for both of us.

And the third card is the Seafood Restaurant we're seated at now. The man is back with the wine and with his eyes on me, he doesn't realise he is poking the head of the bottle at Ethan's chin.

Ethan clears his throat and the man looks down, suddenly jerking in the bottle away in shock.

"Pardon, sir. I apologi--"

Ethan takes the bottle from him with a gentle smile.

"Are you done yet? You want her to get up and twirl around a bit?" He says to the waiter and the guy practically runs away.

"Will we ever find a place where the guys won't eyeball you?" He asks with a flattering look as he opens the wine and I give him a look.

"That poor guy wasn't a day over eighteen." I say sympathetically as he refills my glass.

"Exactly. So he should keep his young, horny eyes away from my girlfriend's cleavage." He says and I can't help my smile at the way he calls me his girlfriend.

"He was staring at my face." I defend and add,

"Plus that fake blonde was all over you at the Italian restaurant."

"The woman?"

"Exaclty. Woman. What was she like forty? Plus, no one has blonde hair that....blonde."

Ethan is chuckling now and I continue eating.

"You still haven't answered my question you know." He says, catching me in the act of changing the subject and I laugh.

"Okay, okay, okay. Yes. You were right...again. I haven't done it." I admit in embarrassment as I look down and continue,

"I have never kissed in the rain."

"Why not?" He asks, staring at me with so much interest that I feel exposed.

I give him a look.

"You've seen how terrible my love life used to be." I say and sigh at the memory myself.

"I could barely get someone to be faithful to me. Fulfilling the dream became more and more like a fantasy and well..." I shrug and sip my wine.

"I just stopped trying."

Ethan has the side of his lips tugged in an adorable half smile as he keeps his eyes on me.

"But do you still want to?" He asks with the smile and his eyes have a naughty glint making me feel exposed suddenly.

I feel like his eyes are boring through me and I can't stop the blush that consumes my face but I keep my eyes on him.

"Yes. Yes I'd still like to do it." I admit.

"Good." He says and resumes eating and adds,

"I'll be dying to know how those lips taste in a steamy, hot rain."

Ohhhhh Shit.

I clear my throat.

"I think you mean a sauna."

"Either works fine for me."

His gaze is intense as he studies me and I turn my attention to my food, trying to distract the buzzing, growing heat.

"You pique my interest everyday, April Skye." His words come out smooth and softly, like he is in a trance and I look up at him.

He stretches his hand forward all of a sudden and I freeze as his fingers come in contact with my face, sending sparks of fire in every nerve and my breathing becomes heavy.

He doesn't know it.

He doesn't know how his touch affects me in more ways than I can describe.

His gaze is intent on my lips and then I feel the pad of his forefinger as it slowly rubs against the side of my lip, wiping off a crease.

His gaze is on mine now as he brings his finger to his mouth and it lingers in his mouth a little too long before I look away.

My hands are frantically shaking and I'm positive the increasing warm sensation I'm feeling at the bottom of my stomach is  more than just a reaction.

Its a need.

The need that has been haunting me for weeks now.

Every time he held my gaze or kissed me or his hand was little too low on my waist.

Every time those grey eyes went dark.

"Dessert?" I ask in a rush as I signal a passing waiter.

"Everything okay?" The waiter asks as he reaches the table.

"Umm, yes. We'd just like to order desserts." I say, forcing myself to drag my gaze away from Ethan's dark eyes before I lose it.

"What would you be having?" The waiter asks and I place an order for their cheesecake with raspberry syrup.

"You're not having anything?" I ask Ethan when the waiter leaves and he leans close.

"What I want to have is not available at the moment." He says in a deeper voice than usual.

Dont ask.

Dont ask.

Dont ask.

"What is it?" I ask.

"More like who is it?" He says, gaze fixated on my and I clear my throat.

"Okay...who is it?" I probe, sensations buzzing within me.

My head isn't thinking.

Neither is my heart.

My body is doing all the conversation now.

"A certain redhead sitting in front of me. I'd like to rip off that sinful gown of yours and eat you in a heartbeat." He says and I can feel the breath being knocked out of me at his words.

Okay.

Breathe April.

Breeaattheee.

Words shouldn't make people feel this way.

But it's more than words.

Its those eyes.

Those intense, passionate eyes.

"But I wont." Ethan says simply and sits back, sipping wine from his glass.

Wait..what?

I want to ask him why, but my cheesecake is here and Ethan is checking his phone.

Fine.

Guess I'll have to see how far he is willing to restrain.

*****

The apartment is empty when we get back and I'm glad Trevor isn't around...for tonight.

"I'll check if he left anything burning on the cooker. It won't be the first time."

Ethan says as he takes off his blazer and heads to the kitchen while my heart is beating a thousand a minute.

"I'll be in bedroom." I say quickly already on the short staircase as I head into the bedroom without waiting for his reaction.

Once I'm in the bedroom, I take a deep breath, trying to calm everything in a haze within me.

My pacing heart.

My surprisingly courageous thoughts.

And the most prominent, the warm, tingling sensations within me.

Am I seriously doing this?

Do I seriously want to do this?

Yes. Every second being next to him, he was stirring something within me that I was too coward to admit.

Always a coward.

I'd spent 3 years with someone I was just satisfied with...no feelings. Nothing.

And I was too coward to admit it.

And too coward to let him go at first even after what he did.

So no more running away, especially now that I'm sure I want something.

Need someone, rather.

I unzip my dress and head into the bathroom, taking off my bra at once.

I hear the bedroom door open and footsteps and I take deep breaths non stop as I tie a towel around my chest and wash my face.

I'm really doing this.

I want to do this.

I want him.

Trying to feel a little bit of confidence, I open the bathroom door and walk into the bedroom where Ethan is backing me.

He is not wearing a shirt and taking off his watch.

I have no idea what to do first but just as in the restaurant, I let my body do the work and I walk over to him.

"You trying to scare me again because I can still hear....."

His voice trails off as he turns around and spots me.

"April." He breaths out my name and I run my hands over his chest up to his neck where I sweep my hands around it.

He goes rigid.

Standing on tip toe, I reach up and plant a kiss on his collar bone, and his body suddenly relaxes. Feeling more confident from God knows where, I trail my kisses up his neck and under his ear where I tease him.

"You're in a towel." He mutters and I direct my kisses around his chin to his mouth.

"Shhh...." I whisper against his lips and then I feel his strong hands sweep around my waist as he hoists me up and I wrap my legs around his waist.

Ethan takes the lead now, crashing his lips against mine in heated passion and I kiss him back with equal, feverent needs.

I was going to take off the towel myself but kissing him now, I can already feel it loosening.

His hand is in my hair as he presses me closer to him and I take a sharp intake of breath at the feel of the bulging proof of his arousal through his pants.

I tear my lips from his and moan out loud as I rub against him and he kisses around my chin. The towel finally comes undone and the new sensation of his skin against my nipples is overwhelming.

Being pressed so close to him, his chest is bare on my breasts and I let my body breed the courage that lets me run my hand down his side to his belt buckle as I keep rubbing against him.

"Fuck." He mutters in a deep groan under his breath.

"Ethan." I gasp as I struggle with it, trying to think of how it works which is hard with his mouth teasing under my ear.

It finally comes undone and I press closer to him and he groans.

"Please." I beg, allowing lust and passion to speak when he suddenly freezes.

Not again.

"What is it?" I breathe as I try to rub against him when he holds my waist firm, stopping me.

"No, April. We....we can't." He says and let's me go. With all the needs growing in me, I had forgotten I have to stand and how to stand so I stagger for a bit before gaining balance.

My towel is on the floor now and I'm standing in front of him with only my black panties, my courage of earlier is fading quickly with insecurity about my body taking over.

But I leave the towel on the floor.

"Wh-why not?" I ask, hoping he would change his mind when he looks at me atleast, because he is busy fixing back his belt buckle and avoiding the fact I'm in front of him.

"We can't. We just cant." He mutters but I'm not ready to give up.

I've been holding all this in, being a naive coward but I want to change that and go after what I really want for once and I'm positive he wants me too...right?

Isn't that what he meant?

Or did the sight of me change everything?

"What exactly is stopping you? You don't want to be with me?"

"Ofcourse I do."

"I mean sexually. I want to be with you. I want to be yours." I say.

"You're a virgin, April. I can't take that away from you."

"But I want you to. I want it to be you. Its not like I was waiting for marriage or anything. Just a special person that I'm sure of...and it's you."

I say and take a step towards him and just as I touch him, he moves back immediately.

"No, April. I won't have sex with you." He says.

Ouch.

Rejected by Ethan Griphen.

My dignity crumbles and insecurity takes charge.

Ethan avoids looking at me as he walks into the bathroom and I pick up the towel and wrap it around my body.

My hideous body.

I was repulsive to him. I wipe the tears that are threatening to spill and slip on a pair of sweat pants and a tshirt.

I slip into bed, staying on the far left and hold my knees close, huddling myself into a bunch.

It is too late to leave his apartment.

I'll head for my dorm tomorrow.

Idiot.

You shouldn't have stayed for so long.