Chapter 17: Chapter 17

April's POV

This is the reason.

Guilt hits at me as I get up from the grass with Ethan and follow him to his car.

He heads for the drivers side and pauses when he sees me still standing.

"What is it? You don't want to get in?"

"I'm sorry, Ethan. I had no idea." I blurt out and he rounds the car to my side immediately.

"I didn't know. I just didn't want you to chase me again, I didn't understand--"

"Hey, hey, hey. Its okay, I understand. I wouldn't follow me without a reason too."

His hand is on my face and grey eyes stare right at me.

"You helped me do something I haven't had the courage to do for two years. April, I'm not complaining. You were still here for me."

He says then leans closer,

"Thank you." He says and kisses me on the forehead. I rest my head on his chest, inhaling his scent that somehow a deep part of me had missed so much.

"Do you want me to drop you at your dorm?" He asks after a moment and I shake my head. I don't want to leave this safe feeling so soon, and I don't want to pay attention to the trouble I'm causing. I just missed being around him and the tornado of feelings that I had with him.

"I want to go with you." I mutter and he nods then pulls away slowly as he opens the passenger side for me and goes round to get in when I'm seated.

The car ride is silent but comfortable and we're at the apartment within several minutes.

"Do you want anything?" He asks as he walks into the kitchen, taking off his tie and jacket.

I gulp.

Stop staring.

"Umm, yes. Water, please." I say in a strained voice as my throat suddenly goes dry and clear it when he stares at me as he pours water into a glass.

"You okay?" He asks, and I nod, not trusting my voice as I take the glass, forcing the rim to my mouth.

It is wrong to stare, right?

Especially since he just shared one of the most painful moments of his life.

Stop staring April.

You're supposed to be here for him.

Oh my God, he is unbuttoning his shirt.

I choke on my water and pull the glass away with force, spilling the rest on my shirt.

"Shit." I curse, setting the glass down as I try brushing off whatever water is not soaked to my shirt.

Ethan is in my front in a moment as he looks down at my shirt and his eyes suddenly go dark.

He looks at me now and his dark eyes say something that I'm too scared to admit.

"What happened?" He asks, walking closer and I find myself moving back.

"I...umm, got distracted." I confess, trapped in his dark gaze.

"Distracted with what April?" He asks, coming ever close and I move further back until I feel the counter behind me.

"Umm...nothing important." I whimper, as he suddenly traps me to the counter and his hand sweeps around my waist, pulling me close.

"You spilled water on your shirt, it's got to be important." He says in a low voice and I gulp.

"It's not." I say in a rush as his head dips and pauses just a breath away from my lips.

"Was it him?" He says, diverting his lips to under my earlobe and slowly kissing down, flicking his tongue in the most sensitive places.

I'm trying to calm my breath but it's coming out heavy and fast.

"April?" He pushes, going down to my collar bone as I arch my neck back.

Focus.

He asked something.

"Who?" I whimper as he uses both hands to hold me by the waist and pull me up to sit on the counter.

"The guy at the restaurant with you." He says and his hands go up inside my shirt slowly, sending sparks of heat around every sensitive nerve.

"I...I wasn't....I wasn't thinking of him." I whine as his fingers linger just below my bra.

"Who is he, anyway?" He probes and his hand grasps my breast through the bra.

"A friend." I say quickly, gripping the edge of the counter for support as Ethan removes the clasp in front of my bra.

"So you're not staying together?" He says and clasps my bare breast, teasing the nipple with his fingers.

"No!" I yell, biting my lip at the bolts of sensation I was feeling.

"Okay." Is all I hear as I feel is his lips on mine in an instant and I grasp his hair, pulling him close and kissing him back. I can feel his hands on my waist again as he carries me off the counter and I wrap my legs round him, letting him kiss me senseless.

I feel the bed under me after a while a his body follows suit, on top me and I roam my hands over his shirt, removing the last button as I take the shirt off him. Still kissing me, he takes off my shirt and bra, briefly breaking the kiss as his eyes search mine.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No." I say, and his lips descend to my left breast, teasing and suckling and I let out a moan. His hand is on my other breast and I can feel his other hand on my jeans.

Slowly, he trails kisses down my stomach, stopping at the waist of my jeans as he unbuttons it, and he comes back up, kissing me.

I feel his other hand just teasing the surface of my panties.

"Please." I moan, slightly raising my hips at his touch and he suddenly pulls away a little looks down at me.

Please don't chase me away again.

"You've never done this before." He says and I feel my cheeks heat up at his statement.

"Please don't stop." I whine, pressing against his hand and he curses but resumes his teasing.

I can feel my breath quicken as I close my eyes and bite my lips at the feeling.

"Look at me." He says and I open my eyes to look at his dark gaze.

"I need to know your okay with this." He says and I feel his fingers slip inside my panties touching my bare mound, teasing up and down.

I grip his shoulders.

"With what?" I beg

"With this." He says and a finger slips inside me.

"Yes!"

I scream, shutting my eyes and gripping his shoulders as I arch my back, moving my hips against his finger.

"Ethan."

I can feel his gaze on me as his finger begins moving slowly and I let myself move with it.

My breath quickens as his finger moves a little faster, building tension within me that is gripping at every nerve and taking me higher.

"Oh God." I pant, and his lips are on my nipple in an instant as his thumb touches a sensitive spot and keeps rubbing.

My breath is coming out faster, trying to keep up with the billions of sensations bursting within me as his finger becomes more demanding.

His thumb is rubbing faster and I'm lost beyond reason at the tension building within me, high and hot sensations pushing me as my toes curl.

I scream as I let myself get carried over the edge with the spirals of feelings that burst through me.

Spasms and waves of sensations wash through me as I collapse back on the bed, unaware that I had been arching my back.

Ethan is beside me in a moment and pulls me close as I bury my face in his chest, shying away from how I had been pleading and moaning, but dwelling in the moment.

Ethan's

POV

I run my hand through April's hair, letting her hide her face as her innocence prick at my thoughts.

You have never done this before.

And she had flushed red, in need and shyness.

I don't believe it.

She mutters something against my chest and I frown at her mumble of words as I lift her chin to look at me.

"What?" I ask.

Her eyes are searching in silent plea and her face looks flush.

"Do you want me to leave your bed?" She says quietly and I frown.

"No." I say and wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer if possible.

"Will you stay tonight?"

I let the words slip out because somehow, staying in bed with her and watching the pleasurable reactions on her face gave me the need to just trap her with me.

She nods, still looking at me and I can't tell what she is thinking.

"Are you...having regrets?" I ask but she just leans close and plants her lips mine in a quick kiss.

"No, I'm just lost in whatever this is that we keep doing, but I don't want to care. I just want to stay here with you."

"Then stay." I say, not letting my gaze leave hers.

"It's not your fault you know." She says, her eyes trailing to my chest were her hand was busy tracing the tattoo.

"What?"

"Your parents' accident." Her words settle as her watchful gaze is back on me and I frown.

How can she say that? Ofcourse it was my fault. Every part of it. If I hadn't been so blind and stupid, they would have been alive by now.

I try to get up from bed, suddenly needing to clear my mind buy her hand is on my chest in a second, holding me back.

"Wait. It really isn't your fault Ethan. I know that's the guilt that has been disturbing you but I promise you, it's not."

"And how can you say that?"

"Because, you never saw it coming. And I look at you now and I see someone who was just stuck between his duty and his heart."

Her words are the softest cure I have ever felt and as I turn back to her, she is staring straight at me with understanding green eyes.

"You just wanted to live in a way that you could be happy without disappointing them and that was your only escape. But Ethan,..."

She pauses as she grasps my hand and holds it against my chest with her own and says,

"Along the way, you realised that your duty was to your heart, and your heart forever is dwelled in your parents love. So making them happy and being with them was the ultimate answer. It took a while and a sacrifice but you made it. You figured it out. You could have been stuck somewhere in Oklahoma or Oregon or Chicago trying to live in what was a scam with someone who didn't care."

I don't realise I'm smiling until she smiles too and I laugh.

"It wasn't time for your happily ever after." She says, leaning close.

April Skye...

What kind of woman is she?

"I guess not." I say and let her kiss me on the cheek as I cover us both with the blanket.

***

"You're in his house?" Gretchen says in the phone as I slip on Ethan's shirt and queitly go to the bathroom.

"Yeah, for like 3 hours now. I'm not coming back to the dorm by the way."

"Ooh, la la. What did I miss April?" She asks and I laugh as I study my face in the mirror.

"Nothing. We both just fell asleep, before your phone call woke me up. I have to go, Gretchen. I'm starving."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Call me later, bye!"

I switch off my phone and run my hand through my hair then I wash my face and open the door.

Ethan is still sleeping and I leave the room and go to the kitchen, checking around for Trevor. The place is awefully quiet and I sigh with relief.

After raiding the fridge, I make do with spaghetti and make a quick meal in an hour.

"April?"

I jump at the voice and turn to see Ethan standing there in just shorts.

"What are you doing?" He asks and walks over to me as I gesture to the stove.

"I just made a little spaghetti. Sorry."

"It's okay. I just...I thought you left." He says in a low voice and I frown at him.

Why would I leave? For the first time, I really wanted to just stay here with him.

"I told you I would stay, didn't I?" I say and he half smiles as he slips his hand round my waist and pulls me close.

"You have a habit of running away." He says in a low mutter and I force my breathing to remain calm.

"I was just a little hungry." I force myself to speak as he leans down a little.

"We could have gone out to eat." He says and I freeze at his words. Gone out? Why would we go out? What would that make us?

You were writhing under him hours ago, what did that make you?

Ethan frowns at my reaction.

"What? You don't want to go out?"

"Not really--"

"Or, you don't want to eat with me." He says, pulling away a little and I struggle to defend myself.

"It's not that."

"Really? Because you seemed pretty good eating with that other guy."

"That is entirely different." I say and realise my voice is rising as he turns to back me.

Taking a deep breath, I run my hand through my hair, trying to pick my words carefully.

I didn't want to fight again.

"Zack is just a guy from class, eating with him is like no big deal. But with you, I'm a jumble of emotions and--"

"Do you want to leave?" He asks queitly.

"No. Its just that I made a mistake once and I just want to figure out what we are or the mixture of feelings I am around you before--"

He turns back around now and his lips are on mine, shutting me up.

"You're right. We have to figure this out before jumping into it. So how about we just let it play out?" He says after the kiss and I smile.

Playing it out was great.

There was no harm in letting it play out...

Right?