Chapter 16: Chapter 16

April's POV

I shut my laptop after the lecturer leaves class and wait for everyone to leave before I start my constant wish to be invisible.

I need you.

His voice echoes instead, haunting my thoughts with all that pain, even though it has been four days now.

Four days since I gave up on our back and forth desires and denials.

It was hopeless.

We are hopeless.

"Still thinking?"

Zack's voice penetrates through my thoughts and I look up at him.

"No, just hoping for a miracle." I mutter as I get up and he laughs.

"What more miracle could you ask for? You're smart, funny, tall and beautiful."

He says and I can't tell if he is flirting or its just an innocent compliment.

I laugh anyway as we leave class and shrug it off.

"Things are more than they appear." I say to him but he just shakes his head.

"I think humans just fear the troubling circumstances because they are scared of the true meaning or answers. They're don't embrace it, because it's going to change so much and they're not ready for that."

His words make more meaning to me than I want and he turns to me now.

"If not, the best things in life are barely any trouble. Like I said, you're smart, funny, tall and beautiful." Zack says and I still don't know how to react.

"Don't worry, April. Its just a harmless compliment." He says, nudging me in the shoulder and I laugh.

"You up for lunch?" He asks, gesturing to the restaurant by our side and I'm starving but....

Lunch?

With Zack?

"I don't know, Zack--"

"April, it's lunch." He says with a laugh and I sigh with relief at the glint of humour in his eyes.

"Fine. Lunch then." I say and we walk in and get a booth.

"So, who is he?" He says with a raised brow after we have ordered and I choke on my own breath.

"Who?" I whimper then clear my throat when he laughs.

"Who?" I ask more clearly.

"Him. You know, the guy that has got you covering your eyes after every class and avoiding certain places and walking with your head down."

My jaw drops and he laughs again.

"I don't what you're talking about." I lie.

"Yes, you do."

"What if it's about a girl?" I defend.

"It's not. Cuz you would want to meet her to confront her and not hide."

I frown.

"I'm an insecure, shy girl." I say.

"No, you're not." He says simply and I curse under my breath.

"You do know that I have six sisters so, we can do this all day." He says.

"But there is no guy." I defend.

There really isn't.

Just a complicated me with a complicated boy that sets my skin on fire with his touch.

"You're blushing." Zack says, cocking his head at me and our food arrives.

"I'm not."

"Why the suspicious silence? Would he walk in here and punch me because I'm having lunch with you?" He asks and I laugh because he has no idea how true his words could be.

"It's nothing really. He just...well,...it's nothing."

"You're going to make me guess?"

"Zack--"

"Is it like a friends with benefit thing or a best friend thing? Because I know the girls always fall first."

"Not true!" I defend then freeze when I spot the familiar tussle of black hair and grey eyes, staring at me from the door.

Zack is saying something but I've lost track and I can't stop staring as Ethan makes his way over to our table.

"Helloo! Earth to April! What is it?" Zack asks just in time for Ethan to reach the table, eyes fixed on me.

He turns to Zack,

"Sorry to disturb." He says in a voice that doesn't sound the least bit sorry then turns back to me.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks and I gulp.

Ethan's

POV

As I wait outside the restaurant in my car, I watch as April and the same guy that had been with her last time take a table and begin their conversation.

I frown at the need to walk in there and tell her...

Tell her what?

Its today.

Clyde's voice echoes in my head from earlier this morning at work. How could I forget?

Every year, the memorial service, the rememberance, the pain.

And here I am, needing her again before the service starts in 30 minutes time.

But how?

How do I tell her without a reason?

You need her and tell her why, it's time to stop shutting out.

Trevor's words sting at me with a scary truth. Could I really tell her?

I watch as a waiter brings their food and I leave the car and head for the restaurant.

She is busy talking as always when I get to the door and almost as if she senses my presence, she looks up and freezes.

I walk over to her table, holding her gaze.

"Sorry to disturb." I say to the guy with glasses in a mutter and turn to her.

"Can I talk to you?"

There is a pause and a glint of shock in her eyes before she hides it with a defiant look.

Her eyes are observing me as if weighing her options and I want to just hold her and tell her I'm sorry.

But not in front of this guy.

Not now, she had to know the reason first.

"Excuse me, Zack." She says to the guy and follows me outside.

"I thought we were done with this." Her voice says in a quiver and I can't tell if it's anger or excitement or both.

"April. I need you to--"

"Another request? You really just love doing this to me."

"No. Its nothing like that. Will you please just come with me?" I ask, mentally crossing my fingers. I really needed her there at the memorial service, and then I would tell her everything.

She is quiet, staring at me. Then she turns to look at the guy waiting for her.

"I cant just leave Zack."

"This is really urgent."

"That's what you say and then what happens when you're done with what you needed me for? You'll send me away?"

"No not this time."

"And how am I supposed to know that? I can't do it, Ethan. I can't keep going back and forth with you."

She turns to leave but I grab her hand and turn her to face me, begging my mouth to speak.

I can just tell her now.

"Let me go." She says, glaring at me.

"You don't underst--"

"I understand enough. This is another emergency that I have to help you for before you ask me to leave."

"I told you this is different." I say stiffly, running out of patience.

"I have someone waiting for me." She says, trying to yank her hand away.

"You're just going to him?"

"At least we have a reason for staying together!" She says and her words tear at me while my grip looses and she walks in.

Staying together?

I watch helplessly at first as she walks over to the table and mutters something to the guy with an apologetic look. I can feel the anger coursing through my veins as I head for my car and drive off.

April's POV

"So that's him. Hmm. Much bigger than I thought." Zack says once I grab my fork and I can't help but look outside as Ethan gets into his car and screeches off.

I told you this is different.

But how? How can it be different? How am I supposed to know that? Did I make a mistake for not taking his word for it? What if he chases me when the help is over.

"April!" Zack says and I drop my fork in shock.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to with him?" He asks and I realise I haven't stopped staring at the window.

"Umm, ofcourse not. I don't...I can't just...I'm having lunch with you."

"Really? Because you haven't done much eating." He says, gesturing to my salad and I bite my lip at how much I've tossed them around.

"I'm fine." I say even though deep down, something is racking at my thoughts.

Did I make a mistake?

What if he didn't have a reason again?

Zack is still staring at me when my phone buzzes and I pick it immediately.

Please be Ethan.

"Hello?"

"April."

The voice on the other line makes me frown.

"Bianca?"

"Aren't you coming? The service has already started."

I frown at her words and look up to see Zack studying me with a watchful gaze.

"What service?"

"The memorial, for Ethan's parents."  She says in a worried voice and I remember Ethan's words.

This is really urgent.

Oh no.

"Ethan is here already, I just thought that maybe you'd be with him. Its okay if you don't want to come." Bianca says and I get up immediately,  not in control of my actions anymore.

Memorial service?

"Wait, Bianca. Tell me where it is."

Ethan's POV

"In loving memory of Mr and Mrs Griphen."

I sit on the grass, staring at the twin graves, begging for it to happen.

The service had finished earlier than i thought and maybe I was wrong to ask to stay behind.

To sit here, pondering everything I had done wrong.

Everything that had gone wrong in my life.

"I'm sorry." I whisper as I drop my flowers, but I still couldn't do it.

I couldn't cry.

The constant pain was at my chest and I felt heavy with remorse but the tears still won't spill.

Then I feel her next to me before I notice and she kneels down, holding flowers to.

"I'm so sorry." She says to me after she drops her flowers and I keep my gaze planted at the grass.

She came.

I don't know how I manage to, but the words start spilling out.

It was time.

She needed a reason.

"It was right after my second year in this school, I met Heather. She was in the same year with me and I fell for her suddenly and so quickly, it was all so fast. We would meet everyday and I was positive I couldn't spend a second without her. She had meant too much to me, she was everything important and everything I thought I needed. My parents, they kept trying to talk me out of it, that she was with me for the money. But I couldnt see the signs, didn't want to. I just rotated everything around her. Whatever she needed, whenever she needed. I was convinced she was the one, that she deserved it. And that if I didn't make her realise how much she meant to me, I could loose her."

I can feel my eyes clouding at the rememberance but I can't stop now.

"Then she had told me my parents would try and come between us and she didn't want to be away from me. She had me convinced that we were soul mates and our only chance was to elope and run away, start our life somewhere else and I agreed. I didn't think it through, I just wanted to be with her. So on the day we planned to leave, I had the plane tickets and I met her at the airport. It was stupid, but I was so convinced that I loved her and she was everything to me. My parents had called me before we boarded the plane, telling me they were on their way over to stop me from making a drastic mistake and I spent minutes arguing with them while she kept telling me to end the call, that it was too late to change the plans. I kept arguing with them, trying to convince them that I had made my mind when there was suddenly a blast of horns, screeching, screaming and then the call ended."

And then I feel it, the pain swelling and then completely dissolving as April holds my hand and tears roll down my cheeks for the first time since that dreadful day.

"I knew something terrible had happened but Heather kept trying to convince me to board the plane and when I told her what I heard, she wouldn't listen. She had said that we couldn't just cancel our plans because of lousy phone call, that we had our own life ahead. She had been so bent on going and I was so confused to chose. I finally decided to cancel to trip, that I had to check on my parents but Heather wasn't having any of that. She flipped out and said she was going, with or without me and I kept trying to tell her my parents' life could be in a critical condition. She boarded the plane and I left for the hospital but by the time I got there, I was too late."

Tears are streaming down my eyes now as I look up,

"I lost my parents because of a girl who didn't care the least about their well being or mine."

She is quiet, staring at me teary eyed, and I continue.

"I never let myself cry because it was all my fault. The guilt bites at me for two years now and whenever I remember them, there is always an ache, here."

I say, leading her hand to my chest and she nods, crying.

"But until you, April. Until you touched me and it sends the pain away and all I feel is your warmth. This is the reason."

Author's

Note

I am soo, extremely sorry for this terribly late update, please don't be mad. I got caught up in so much, it won't happen again.